Life's Journey
by Criminal-Twilight-Minds
Summary: From a perfect life, to the return of the dead, to life afterwards. Emily deals with a lot in a short time, and then a certain someone decides to help her cope with the aftermath and they become closer than planned. She loves, she loses, she gains. This is a really bad summary. Rated T like all of my stories because I'm always paranoid. Involves team. Mostly Emily's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I tried not to take too long on starting this story since the end of my last. I'm in year 11 now and why that may not sound like a big deal to you all, I never thought I would get this far, but there is a lot of work that goes with it. I didn't expect this big of a step up from year 10 but apparently I was completely wrong.**

 **So that's my update on my personal life. I know, it's very boring.**

 **I hope you're all doing well.**

 **-A xx**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters.

 **Prentiss**

I sat at the table in the bar with JJ and Garcia. We had been her for about an hour; we decided to have dinner first and then have drinks afterwards. The men of our team and Will were having their own "guys" night, so we were having a "girls" night. Henry was at a friend's house and I assumed Jack was too. Garcia insisted on shouting the first drinks so she went to get them from the bar, leaving JJ and I.

"So how has everything been at home lately?" I asked her.

"It's all been really good, actually. Will and I have been on the same page for a while now after that little mess of a week. We're completely happy and Henry is just doing great. He is always so excited to go and see his cute little kindergarten friends."

"Have you met any of their parents?"

"Yeah, and they are not fun. Let's just say that I'm happy with you and Pen as girlfriends." We both laughed. Garcia came back then, placing our drinks in front of us. We thanked her and turned when we heard Morgan's voice.

"You guys have got to be kidding me." He said as they walked over to us.

"Hey, you're crashing girls night!" Garcia complained jokingly.

"What are you doing here?" Morgan asked.

I motioned to my drink, "What does it look like we're going here? What are you guys doing here?"

"Well apparently our guy's night has come to a crashing halt." Rossi smirked.

"Alright look, we're willing to change our girl's night into a team night if you guys are willing to change your guy's night to a team night. If you're not willing, walk back out of this bar because we were first." JJ said with a smile.

They looked at each other for a second before sitting with us. "Deal." Reid said as he sat across from me. Hotch went to the bar to get them drinks and Garcia told him to put them on her tab as he walked away from us.

Conversation and laughter spread around our table as Will told us about drunken Reid last time they went out.

"Oh, you think that's bad?" Garcia asked once Will finished the story, "Last time we had a girl's night, Emily almost got into a bitch fight with some random chick near the bar, she was throwing up outside because she drank _way_ too much and _way_ more than Jayje or I and then she slept with one guy and then she went back out and slept with a guy and a chick at the same time."

"Oh!" Morgan looked at me at his side and started laughing. The whole table seemed surprised at that and they all laughed. I bit my lip and took a drink to hide the embarrassment on my face.

"I am _so_ going to get you back for that." I said to her, shaking my head and laughing.

"It was impressive though." JJ complimented with a laugh.

"Oh, why thank you. Never again will I repeat that night. The guy was hot though. Actually, both guys were. And the girl…wow, I had a winning night." I thought back to it. It wasn't my proudest of accomplishments, but they all knew about it now so why not joke about it?

Laughter again and then JJ told us about a night when Will came home so drunk he fell down the staircase twice.

"Shit…" Morgan said quietly once JJ finished her story and the laughter died down. He turned to face me and away from the entrance.

"What?" I asked. The team fell silent and we all looked towards the door where a pretty brunette walked in. You could tell she was here to get laid just by her hair, let alone her makeup and outfit. "Ex-girlfriend?"

"Ex one night stand that wouldn't stop calling." He corrected.

"Aw Morgan, she likes you."

"No, she's crazy." He said quietly.

The team turned back when we saw her approach and JJ and Garcia started a fake conversation, JJ speaking mid-sentence.

"Derek?" The brunette asked, approaching our table and standing near Morgan, "Derek Morgan, as I live and breathe." She smirked.

"Hey Rachel." He shot her a fake smile that would have seemed genuine to her.

"So you never called me—"

"Uh…meet my girlfriend, Emily." He cut her off and shook his head slightly, leaning back and looking at me.

I put my drink down and held my hand out to her, "Hi, Emily Prentiss." I smiled and played the part I was being called on for. She shook my hand hesitantly.

"Girlfriend? How long?"

"Um…about 5 months." Morgan nodded and looked at me.

I nodded in agreement, "He had me at "My name's Derek, just so you know what to scream later"."

"Oh…well that's great for you guys," Her smile was very clearly forced, "I've got friends waiting, so I guess I'll see you around…"

"It was nice meeting you." I smiled.

"You too." She nodded and walked away quickly. I unlinked my hand from Morgan's and sat up normal again, not leaning closer to him like couples always seemed to unintentionally do.

"I owe you." Morgan said.

I shook my head and smiled, "First act is on the house."

"That was _really_ good…" JJ said to me.

"How often do you do that?" Hotch asked me with an impressed expression.

"Too often. If you ever need a fake girlfriend guys, just call me."

"Hey! Dean's here." Garcia said, sitting up straighter to look towards the entrance. I turned to look towards the guy that was history to me. I had forgotten to tell her and JJ. I turned back and cleared my throat.

"Pen, stop." I said to her.

She looked at me and slumped when she saw the warning in my eyes, "You're not with him anymore? Since when?"

"We broke up like 4 months ago…"

"Oh, but you two were so perfect together," JJ said in a disappointed voice, "What happened…and why didn't we know sooner?"

I sighed and looked down, trying to decide how to tell them while still sounding nonchalant.

"Oh, he's coming over." Garcia said quietly.

I looked at Morgan, "I changed my mind; you do owe me." He nodded and I linked my hand back to his as I saw Dean approaching the table out the corner of my eye. "So then she told me that I could go in whenever and she'll set it right up for me."

"That sounds cool," He nodded and drank some of his beer, "So when will you go in?"

"I was thinking in a few days," I nodded, "Oh, hey Dean." I smiled as he reached the table.

"Hey Em, how are you?"

"I'm great, and you?"

"Good, good." He nodded and his eyes caught my hand in Morgan's.

"Oh, Dean, this is my boyfriend Derek."

"Hey man." Morgan shot a fake genuine grin and shook his hand with the one that wasn't linked with mine.

"Dean is an old friend." I said to Morgan, smiling at him.

"Ex-boyfriend, actually…" Dean corrected quietly, his voice very awkward, "So how long have you two been together?" He asked me hesitantly.

"Two months last week." I nodded with a smile.

"Well, I've got a few mates waiting at the bar for me, so I'd better get to them."

"Nice meeting you." Morgan said to him. He nodded and walked away quickly.

I took my hand from Derek's and rolled my eyes, "" _Ex-boyfriend, actually_ …" go fuck yourself." I mumbled and threw a small scrunched up bit of paper across the table that I had been playing with.

"Okay, spill." JJ said, "What happened?"

I shook my head, "A lot."

"Okay…then why didn't you tell us before?" Garcia tried a different question.

"Because I figured "I have plans with Dean" would be a good excuse to get out of something if I really didn't want to go." I admitted.

"Gee, thanks." Garcia snickered before laughing.

"Em—"

"It's team night, not girl's night. I don't have to tell you anything." I cut JJ off, shaking my head.

"But we're intrigued," Rossi smirked at me, "Now come on, tell us what happened."

"One thing. I will tell you a small part of a big problem. I was too "emotionally unavailable and broken" for him." I said, "I understood that part." I added with a nod before drinking back the rest of the drink.

"You really liked him, too." JJ said with a small pout.

"I'll go fuck some random guy and get over it."

"Haven't you tried that in the last four months?" Hotch asked me.

I raised my eyebrows and held my smirk back, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Haven't you, though?" His eyes narrowed as he smirked.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes, "I have."

The night went into the early hours of the morning. We eventually decided to call it quits and I caught a cab home. I made my way up to my apartment and got my key out of my purse as I walked up the staircase. There was a box outside my door when I reached it. I lifted the box and inspected the ribbon around it. It was some sort of gift, but who would have sent it? The only people I knew were either the team or Dean, and I know he wouldn't have sent it.

I didn't think much of it. I had too much to drink to be concerned on who would leave a gift at my door. I unlocked the door and walked into my apartment. I closed the door behind me and walked further in to meet the kitchen. I put the gift down on the counter and lifted Sergio up as he ran to me. "Hey buddy," I said quietly, petting him, "Come on, let's go to bed."

I made sure I locked the door and then I dropped my keys in the drawer that I always did before going to my room, Sergio still in my arms. I threw my purse to the table against the wall in the corner of the room and then put Sergio down across the room on the bed. I unzipped my dress and got changed into a loose shirt and shorts. I turned the lamp on and the ceiling light off, I plugged my phone into the charger and climbed into bed, snuggling down into the blankets. Sergio walked over weightlessly and curled up against me as I turned the lamp out. I fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Prentiss**

I woke yesterday with a massive hangover. I think it was still here today as I got up and ready for work. Monday mornings were always the worst, no matter what you were doing on them. I got ready slowly, trying not to rattle my head too much as it ached. I eventually got to my car and drove to the precinct.

I walked out onto the sixth floor and took a breath, feeling slightly nauseous from the elevator. I made my way through the glass doors and went to my desk. JJ, Garcia, Morgan, Reid and Rossi were all standing by the desks, looking at mine. When I looked at mine, wondering why they were staring at it, I noticed a huge bunch of flowers on it. They were the same as the purple one that was in the box at my door. That one was only signed with the letter D.

I dropped my bag at the side of my desk and saw Hotch walk out of his office and down the steps from the corner of my eye. He joined the others in watching me as I picked up the folded piece of paper sitting in the middle of the bunch. I unfolded it and read the print.

" _These flowers don't compare to you, my dear Emily. –D"_

My eyebrows furrowed and I lifted my phone. I glanced at the team and saw Garcia and JJ with smiles. I waved to them briefly as a greeting and walked away with the phone to my ear as it rang Dean.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dean, it's Emily."

"…Oh, hey Em…" He said awkwardly. I felt bad now for pretending to be dating Morgan in front of him.

"I was just calling to ask you if it was you leaving me flowers. I've received flowers twice and they're both only signed with the letter D."

"No, I haven't sent anything. Maybe it was your boyfriend."

"I asked him, he didn't send them. Alright, thank you."

"Bye."

I hung up and walked back to my desk. I put my phone down and looked at the note again, looking at the back and front.

"Who are they from?" Garcia asked with an excited smile.

"…D?" I turned the note around to show that it was only signed with the letter, "There was a single flower like these ones left at my door on Saturday night, too."

"You have a secret admirer." JJ smirked.

"Or a murderer." Reid said quietly.

"Are they from _Dean_?" Morgan asked, saying his name in a mocking tone. He ignored Reid as the others did.

"No, I asked him. On Sunday when I opened the other one, I honestly thought either you or Rossi just decided to be nice and send me a flower." I said to Morgan, glancing at Rossi when I said his name.

"Well we didn't, so who else is there?"

I shook my head, "No one. I don't know anyone. At least not enough for them to know where I live or where I work."

"Once again, I will raise the possibility of danger." Reid said.

"I don't know, but I have a headache and I'm pretty sure I'm still hung over so…" I pushed the flowers back to the corner of my desk and sat down. I picked up a pen and slid the top file off the pile of them and put it in front of me. I opened it and stopped. I spun my chair around and looked at my motionless team, "Guys."

"Em…Reid could be right." JJ said.

I raised my eyebrows, "I'm fine."

"You are right now…but what if it's a little more than we think?" Rossi asked.

"Then you can all look into it when I'm dead. Now I'm alive, so don't worry about it."

They all looked at Hotch and he looked torn. He didn't want to look into something that could simply be an admirer or someone who I knew but just didn't think about when I was considering people, but he didn't want to leave it for it to be something potentially dangerous. This team was too skeptical but I didn't blame them, considering what we had gone through in previous years.

"There's no sign of any danger to her yet so we'll leave it alone. If it continues, we can reconsider," Hotch said to them, "Dave, I need to talk to you." Hotch and Rossi walked up the steps and to Hotch's office.

JJ, Reid and Morgan turned to their desks and Garcia looked lost. "I have nothing to do." She said as she sat on Morgan's desk.

"Okay, my paperwork can wait." He said. I heard his drawer open and Garcia gasped.

"Cards!" She exclaimed excited, "Oh, you're so good to me, hot stuff."

He laughed lightly, "Hey, you guys want in?"

"No thanks, I have a new book to read if I finish the paperwork." Reid declined. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I've got shit to do, so no thanks." JJ said.

"No thank you." I said quietly to them, "But can you please not speak loud like that again like when you said "cards!" because my head is killing me."

Morgan smirked, "Sure thing, princess."

* * *

I walked up to my apartment and unlocked the door. My headache had eased since I took some aspirin. I put all my things in the places they always went and I sat down on the couch, sighing. I looked at the singular flower on the coffee table in front of me. It was still in the box. I picked up the small tag and looked at the hand written letter. I picked my phone up from beside me and opened the contacts, reading through every single one. None of the people on my phone with their first or last name starting with 'D' knew both where I lived and worked. They knew one or the other or neither, apart from Dean, Morgan and Rossi.

I turned the TV on and the news played as I went to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator for something to make for dinner. I wasn't feeling extremely hungry for anything big so I just made a small salad.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts as I ate. I stood up and walked to the door. When I looked out the peep hole in the door, there was no one there. I unlocked the door and took the chain off, opening it. There was a box lying at the door. I walked out and down the hall. I looked over the railing and down the stairs to see if the person was still in the building. I didn't see any movement or hear anything so I walked back to the apartment and stopped Sergio from running out into the hall. I picked the box up and walked inside, doing the chain back up and locking the door again. The sound of the click seemed comforting and restricting at the same time.

I put the box beside my plate and sat back at the dining table. I took another bite of the salad and opened the box. More purple flowers. As much as I didn't want to admit it to anyone, not my team and not myself, this was starting to seem very strange to me, familiar almost. It scared me, knowing the fact that an unknown person had returned to my apartment and sent me flowers at work too. It was signed with the single letter again.

I sighed and closed the box again. I picked my phone up and opened Hotch's contact. Do I call him or am I overreacting? Why didn't the person wait for me to answer the door? Why didn't they want me to see them? I put my phone back down without calling my boss. He didn't need to worry about something that has been harmless so far.

I decided to go to bed early, feeling tired and anxious. I had a quick shower first being lying in bed. I picked my book up and started reading from the bookmarked page. My phone made the familiar 'ding' noise and I picked it up, looking at the text from Morgan.

" _Everything okay?"_ He had asked.

" _It's fine. You don't have to check up on me, Morgan. It's just a few flowers."_ I replied.

" _I know"_ was his answer. I didn't text back after that. I plugged my phone in and just decided to go to sleep. I didn't really feel like reading.

* * *

I got to the office earlier than Morgan and JJ this morning. Garcia and Reid were standing at his desk; Rossi and Hotch were talking in between their offices.

"Hey." I smiled at Reid and Garcia as I reached my desk. I waved to Hotch and Rossi and they both nodded in return of the greeting.

"How are you, my love?" Garcia asked me.

"Good, you?"

"Magnificent. I had a date last night."

I turned my chair around quickly and smirked at her, "So that's why you ran out of here so fast. Who was it?"

"Some guy I met at the bar the other night while you were busy dancing with Derek. Don't get your hopes up, it was a total miss. We had almost nothing in common and he was _so_ boring."

"Then why was it magnificent?" Reid asked her, looking confused.

"Because a guy asked me out on a date. That never happens to me."

I smiled and listened as they talked about it and I greeted JJ and Morgan when they arrived. They sat at their desks and JJ sighed when she did. She looked exhausted.

"You okay?" I asked her, trying not to catch the attention of the others. I stood from my desk and walked to her side casually.

"Will and I were arguing again last night and then Henry wasn't sleeping because he felt unwell and he was crying and I got very little sleep in the end." She explained to me, resting her head in her hand and her elbow on the desk as she scribbled circles on a piece of paper with her pen.

"Garcia had a date last night." I said to her. I knew it would cheer her up. Her back straightened and she spun her chair around quickly before batting her eyelashes and looking at Garcia, waiting for a story. Garcia told her the same thing she had been telling the rest of us and the four of them started talking about something different. I went back to sit at my desk and looked at the flowers still in the corner. Do I say something or do I forget about it?

"Agent Prentiss?" I heard someone ask. I looked up and saw a man from the ground floor holding three boxes, "These were dropped off for you."

"Thank you." I said quietly as he put them on my desk and walked away. I looked at them for a second before looking at JJ watching from her desk to my left and I knew Morgan, Garcia and Reid were looking too. I looked behind us where Hotch and Rossi previously were. I heard Rossi laugh from Hotch's office. I stood up and walked up the few steps and knocked on Hotch's open door.

He smiled at me and motioned for me to come in. I closed the door behind me to stop the rest of the team overhearing anything and looked at the two men in front of me.

"What's going on?" Rossi asked. His eyes that previously seemed happy and showed his good mood changed to those of concern.

"A box of flowers was left at my door last night. I heard the knock but they were gone by the time I reached the door. Three more boxes were just brought to my desk."

"Three more boxes of flowers?" Hotch asked.

"I don't know if it's flowers; I didn't open them."

"This is a bit strange for an admirer, don't you think?" Rossi asked. I nodded in reply.

"Do you want to open the boxes?" Hotch asked. I nodded again and opened the door, walking back out. The two of them followed behind me and I ignored the eyes of my team as I returned to my desk.

I opened the box on top. It was full of the same purple flowers as the others. I moved it out of the way and open the next box that contained the same flowers. I sighed and moved that on top of the other, freeing the one on the bottom. The team was standing around me, waiting for me to open it.

"Ten bucks it's flowers?" Morgan said quietly to Garcia.

"You're on." She whispered.

"Shh." JJ hissed at them.

I glared at Morgan, "I'm glad this is fun for you."

"Just trying to lighten this up a bit."

"Well don't?"

"Okay…sorry."

I looked back at the box and lifted the lid off it. My mouth fell open slightly when I saw the piles upon piles of printed photos of me and the team, Henry, Jack and Will included. "Morgan, you owe her ten bucks." I said quietly. I sat down and lifted a handful photos. I picked up the box while inspecting some of the photos I was holding and held it out to Hotch. He took it and his face hardened when he saw what was inside.

They all took out a handful of photos as I had to look at. The one I looked at the longest was of JJ, Will and Henry at the park. JJ had a big smile, Henry was on her lap and Will was kissing her cheek from his seat beside her.

"This is definitely dangerous…" Rossi said quietly.

"This photo of you would be really nice if it weren't taken by your stalker." JJ said, showing me a photo. I was standing outside a coffee shop with a coffee in my hand and a phone to my ear. I was wearing the new dress I bought last week with my hair out and my sunglasses on. I was smiling and I think I was laughing. "How often do you wear that dress? You were wearing it Saturday night."

"It's new; I only got it last week. I only wore it on Saturday."

"Wow…so this photo is really recent." She said quietly, sitting back up straighter on my desk.

"What do we do?" Garcia asked Hotch, "There are photos of Jack and Henry."

"We keep it quiet because we don't want anyone else working this case and we work it now. We need to find out who this is before any harm is done. Has anyone else received or seen anything out of the ordinary?"

They all thought about it and shook their heads. "Oh, wait," JJ said, remembering something, "There's been this car I've never seen before at the end of my street. It has a straight view of my place."

"How long has it been there?" Morgan asked.

"I've been seeing it about three times a week for a month. I just assumed someone had moved in but neither Will nor I had heard of anyone moving."

"Call Will." Hotch said to her. She nodded and walked away from us as she got her phone out. "Garcia, look at the cameras downstairs and see if you can get the person who dropped the boxes in. Everyone else, round table."

Garcia's phone buzzed as she walked away quickly. Morgan, Reid and Rossi walked towards the round table room and Hotch went to follow them before he realised that I hadn't moved.

"Prentiss?"

"This was only this morning…" I said quietly, showing the photo of me, "And this one was about five months ago." I said as I showed him another one of Dean and I.

"Whoever this is, we'll get to them before they get to you."

"Hotch, they already got to me." I stood up and stepped away from him instinctively. This was all on me. I was clearly the main target and I was pulling the team into it unintentionally. My eyes widened as I looked at another photo in the box. I lifted it up and showed him, "That is inside my apartment!"

I decided I couldn't be around them at the moment. I needed to take myself away from them so the danger would follow me away from them. I lifted my bag quickly and picked my phone up from my desk.

"Prentiss, where are you going?"

"Away. If I'm not near any of you, then the danger shouldn't be." He tried to stop me as I turned around but I wasn't staying in the precinct with my team and so many other innocent people. I shook his hand from my arm and walked away quickly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Prentiss**

I had driven around for a few hours before going back to the precinct. I calmed myself down as much as I could and pulled back into the lot. I got out of the car and walked back inside. It was about 11 am now and the precinct was pretty busy with people arriving to work or home from cases and leaving for home or cases.

I walked through the familiar bullpen and dropped my bag again. The boxes were gone from my desk but the small vase of flowers was still in the corner. I took a breath to calm myself down before walking up the steps and around the catwalk. I saw Will sitting in there as well, beside JJ with Henry sitting on his lap. I saw Jack sitting beside Rossi. Will had his hands over Henry's eyes and Jack had his hands over his own. That confused me. I walked in and Hotch met me at the door "Don't go in." He said quietly.

I looked at him suspiciously before pushing past him. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the screen and my breath caught in my lungs. My throat felt like it closed up completely and unwelcome tears stung my eyes. My mouth was open in shock.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't drag my eyes away from Declan's picture on the screen. Not his nice photo with him smiling beside a woman who I assumed was his foster parent and not the one of him lying on the ground in a puddle of blood. A sob escaped me and I bit my lip to hold the others back. A single tear dripped down my cheek and I closed my eyes to stop the rest.

"Garcia, can you please take it off the screen?" Hotch asked quietly.

"Yes sir." She whispered. I heard her fumble with the remote as she tried to take it down quickly.

A few seconds of silence past as they let me get myself under control. I opened my eyes when I was sure I could keep it together and I sat down at the table. Hotch sat back down where he previously was, beside me.

I cleared my throat, "Cause of death?" I tried to keep my voice as level and professional as I could.

"Emily, you don't have to act—"

"Cause of death?" I asked slower and more forceful this time, cutting JJ off.

"Multiple stab wounds." Garcia said quietly. She went to speak again but stopped herself. She was holding something back.

"What, Garcia?"

She hesitated and looked at Hotch. He told me for her, "There was a fresh brand of a four leaf clover on the left side of his chest."

My breath caught again momentarily. I forced myself to swallow and allow air back in and out of my lungs, "Do you have a photo of the brand?" I asked Garcia. She nodded and looked at Hotch. When he nodded, she put it up on the screen for me to see.

"Didn't…Doyle and his little army have that?" Rossi asked me quietly.

I stood up and walked to the door before the tears could fall from my eyes. "Hey, wait," Morgan stopped me, "Why is the brand important? I mean, I know it is, but does mean something bigger to you than we think?"

I took in a deep, unsteady breath and turned to look at him. I pulled my shirt down from my neck and stopped below the brand Ian Doyle had left on my chest.

"…Is…is that a brand?" Reid asked hesitantly. I nodded in reply. "It's in the exact same spot as Declan's."

"Doyle did that to you?" Morgan asked, his eyebrows rising. His voice sounded so pissed off, like just the thought of this made him want to kill Doyle.

"No, I did it myself." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"The brand on Declan was a taunt to you." Rossi said.

"He's not dead." I choked out as I tried to hold the tears back. I blinked them away and bit the inside of my mouth to stop the quiver in my breathing.

"But we were there. We _saw_ him die," JJ said, "He has to be dead."

"We thought Emily was dead…" Reid said quietly, looking at her.

All of the flowers, the box of pictures of the only people I had in my life; they were all from Ian Doyle. He pulled a me on me. He faked his death, he had someone on the inside to save him and then lie for him. He did it to get out of the mess he was in. He was caught, he was going to the best security prison in the world and he knew he wouldn't get away with near as much the second time around. Now he was back, and he was taunting me, following me and my team, gifting me flowers, signing them with the letter of his last name.

I walked out of the room quickly and I was almost running down the catwalk. "Em, stop." I heard JJ say. I heard her footsteps follow me and someone was behind her. I wasn't planning on leaving the precinct; that was too dangerous.

I reached my desk and picked up the vase of flowers. I turned and threw it at the wall. The vase smashed and the flowers dropped, scattered on the ground near the wall. Tears escaped my eyes and I sobbed. I felt hands on my upper arms, pulling me away from the wall and the flowers and the desks. Hotch led me to his office and closed the door behind him. "Prentiss, talk to me." He pushed me backwards gently to sit down on the couch against the wall across from his desk. He sat beside me.

"I can't do it again," I shook my head, "I can't go through it all again. I can't see him again."

"We don't know that it's him."

"The flowers are signed with a 'D'. They're purple. He sent me a purple and white flower last time because they were the flowers I was tending to when Interpol took my back from him and to base, but Hotch, I put a bunch of those same plain purple flowers on his grave not long ago."

"I know; there was a photo of you doing it in that box." He said quietly.

I shook my head, "He knows my weakness and he is going to use it against me this time."

"What do you think your weakness is?" He asked.

I looked at him, "You. The team, Will, Henry, Jack. You need to get your son and your team and you need to run."

"I'll organise someone trustworthy and professional to take Henry and Jack to a safe house. I have one in another country just in case something like Foyet happened again, for anything dangerous. But Emily, the team and I, Will included I'd bet; we're staying here to fight with you. We'll make sure he dies this time." He stood up and walked across his office to his desk. I heard a drawer open and close and then he walked back to me, handing me a box of tissues.

I thanked him silently, mouthing the words and took the box. I pulled a tissue from it and wiped my eyes, shaking my head as I did, "He'll kill you."

"We'll get him first, Prentiss. I promise."

* * *

We spent the day looking into Doyle and people who I suspected to be in the "army" of his. We all looked through file after file of complex criminals that we probably shouldn't have been looking at and every time they found one they thought was a possibility, they asked me. If I said no, they'd move to the next file. If I said they were a possibility, Garcia would research them further.

We worked for hours straight with no breaks at all and now it was about 9 pm and we were sitting in the round table room in silence. JJ had her head rested on Will's shoulder, her eyes closed; Will was looking at Henry as he slept on his lap. Rossi and Hotch were sitting back in their chairs, looking at the table with nothing in front of them, Reid was tapping his fingers with his head resting in his other hand, Morgan was on his phone, Garcia was sitting back in her chair with her head back and her eyes closed. I was laying my head in my arms on the table. Jack was in Hotch's office.

"We're going to die." I said quietly, breaking the silence.

"No, we're going to…" JJ sat up quickly and opened another file, "Oh, fuck it." She closed the file and threw it towards the centre of the table, away from her. She dropped her head back to Will's shoulder without another word.

"I can't read another file." Morgan said.

"None of this would have happened if I hadn't have come back."

"This isn't your fault." Rossi shook his head.

I snickered and sat up, running my hand through my hair to push it back out of my face. I stood up and Hotch grabbed my arm before I could walk passed him.

"Where are you going?"

"I need coffee."

"No, sit back down," Garcia said quietly, "You're not allowed to leave the gun owners sights."

"Okay, if I'm not allowed coffee than I'm going to go find Doyle myself and _beg_ him to kill me."

Hotch stood up and walked out, motioning for me to follow him. I trailed a step behind him and we walked around the catwalk and down to the break room. "You know that I was capable of coming here myself, right?" I asked.

"I know, it's a little too much, but outside of those glass doors, you are to be with at least one of us at all times. I came _now_ because I assumed you don't really want to be by yourself at the moment." He explained as he put the coffee on.

I smiled at him weakly and sat down at the table in the room, "Thanks." I said at almost a whisper.

"So how are you feeling about all of this right now?" He asked as he sat across from me.

"Was my little breakdown in your office not enough to answer that for you? I mean come on; I don't think I have ever cried that much in front of you. It was embarrassing. This reminds me; please never tell anyone that it ever happened. Don't even think about it; just completely wipe that memory from your brain."

"Prentiss, you need to be able to have emotions sometimes."

I straightened my back and my eyebrows furrowed, "I have emotions."

"But you don't let them out often. When you came back and pushed past me, you let out one little sob and that was it. We were all expecting something so much bigger but you kept it all in, sat down and returned to your professional self. Every time anything happens that should affect you greatly, we never know if it does because you hide everything. You're supposed to be comfortable with the team. We're supposed to be your main outlet of support for everything."

" _You_ never show emotion." I raised my eyebrows. He stood up and started pouring out eight coffees.

"I'm the unit chief; I'm not supposed to. Honestly, I see a therapist once a fortnight just to keep myself sane. Granted, working this job as long as I have, it gets easier to deal with everything. I'm dead inside." He smirked at me.

I tried to hold my amused smile back at his finishing joke.

"JJ talks to Rossi and Reid about what she needs to when Will isn't there. Reid talks to Morgan and I. Rossi talks to me, I occasionally talk to Rossi. Garcia talks to everyone. I don't know what Morgan does, I presume he just goes and finds some girl to sleep with to let out all his troubles and then he doesn't talk to her again. From what I've seen, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't really seem to talk to anyone that often."

"Morgan talks to me," I admitted quietly, "Sometimes I'll talk to him about the lighter side of things. I have discussed stuff with JJ and Rossi on more than one occasion."

"I mean regularly."

"Is this really the time for this conversation slash lecture, Hotch?"

He smiled and passed me a coffee, "I guess we'll pick up from here after we find Doyle and finish this once and for all."

My slight smile dropped, "Can you please be realistic? Every day, you're painfully truthful until it comes to something like this."

"Do you not have faith in this team, Prentiss?"

"I have faith in this team catching the common serial killer. I do not have faith in this team catching Doyle and his "posse"."

I lifted three other cups with my own and walked back out of the break room and made my way to the conference room quickly, trying to end this conversation with Hotch.

"I find your _lack_ of faith a little insulting, you know." He said as he walked into the round table room. I sat down and groaned, dropping my head.

"Hotch, this is _Doyle_. He's out there looking for us and waiting for one of us to be off guard and vulnerable and you're there trying to get me to talk to someone about my emotions. You don't have emotions to speak about when you're me."

"I thought we were off that topic." He said as he sat back down beside me where we were before the break room.

"Yeah, well it pissed me off so hey, we're back," My mood had completely shifted. I sighed as I realised how immature I was being, "I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"You're normally so calm and collected. Today has been rough for you, hasn't it?" Garcia asked quietly.

"Oh no," I said sarcastically, "It's been great, you know. I came to work to find three creepy boxes, one of which contained photos ranging from six months ago to this morning, I found out that the boy I spent my life protecting was dead, I found out that my ex-boyfriend who I was supposed to be in an undercover, fake relationship with but I actually think I fell in love with, wasn't dead after all and now he's out to kill me and the only nine people in the world that I actually give a damn about. Best day of my life, I'm telling you." I shook my head and shot her a fake smile.

"You're tired." Morgan nodded.

"I am." I agreed and turned to Hotch quickly, not even taking a break in between my sentences, "When can I go home?"

"When we figure out where we're going." Reid said quietly.

"Please dear god to not tell me that you're going to keep me from my own apartment." I looked at my boss again.

"He knows where you live, Em…" Will said.

"Yeah, he knows where we all live. He knows everything about all of us. He probably knows that we're talking about him right now. Hey Morgan, the last girl you slept with, she's probably dead with a clover branded on her skin. Garcia, I hope you were serious about that date being a bust because he's probably dead. I hope you three didn't have anyone important in your lives because they're probably dead." I looked at Reid, Rossi and Hotch.

"You know, you're not the best person to be around in these situations." JJ said quietly, shaking her head.

"Oh, I am a delight and you know it," I said as I stood up, "And I am going home to my apartment where I may or may not be murdered tonight so don't be surprised with either outcome. Good night, please try not to die, I love you all."


	4. Chapter 4

**Prentiss**

I drove home cautiously, looking around at all times to make sure I wasn't being followed and so I'd have time to move if a car happened to come straight at me. When I reached my apartment, I realised how dangerous it was for me to get in my car at the precinct. For all I know, someone could have come into the lot and placed a bomb under it. I tried to shake off the anxiety and I made my way up the stairs of the building to my apartment.

I got my key out but when I reached the door, it was already open ajar. I walked backwards and stood at the end of the hall as I dropped my key back to my bag. I held my gun in one hand and my phone in the other. I dialled Hotch's number and waited for him to pick up. "Prentiss?"

"My apartment is open, broken into."

"Get back out of the building and drive to Rossi's."

"No, I'm going in. I just called so you'd know."

"Prentiss, wait for us. We're in the precinct lot now."

"Can't wait that long. Bye."

"Prentiss—" I hung up before he was able to get further than my name. I turned my phone off and put it in my bag and held my gun up and steady, walking to my door. I pushed it open as silently as possible and saw the mess. I walked in and my heeled boots against the hardwood floors were not as quiet as I would have liked. I walked down the small entry hall and checked in the room to my right. It was a complete mess too. I continued towards the kitchen and the open living and dining area. There was no one on the ground floor, at least. I walked through to the staircase slowly and angled my gun upwards as I walked up them slowly. I went through the top storey, checking my room, the spare room, the bathroom and the small office. There was no one here. I holstered my gun and walked back downstairs. I closed the front door and pulled the table near it to sit in front of it. Considering the locks were broken and the chain wouldn't really hold much, I figured I should block it somehow. I walked around my apartment and locked all of the windows. I looked around for Sergio, hoping he hadn't left through the window or out the door. I found him under my bed, terrified of course. He ran out to me and I carried him back downstairs with me. I repeated what I had done last time Doyle was coming for me. I turned the lights out and I pulled one of the dining chairs to sit looking at the front door. I took my gun back from the holster and held it in my hand, patting Sergio with my other.

A while passed before I heard a knock on the door. I figured it was Hotch or someone else from the team; no one else would knock. I put Sergio down and pushed the table out of the way before pulling the door open. I was met by a masked man. I lifted my gun but he held it upwards towards the roof in my hands and kneed me in the abdomen. He pushed me backwards and walked in, kicking the door closed behind him. It didn't click shut and bounced back open slightly. I struggled against him but he was stronger. I punched and kicked and tried to reach my phone but I was too far away from where it and my bag had dropped when he pushed me into the table it was previously on. He threw me hard against a wall and I tried to dodge his hand as he threw a punch to the side of my face but he still got me.

I managed to push him backwards and I escaped his hands momentarily. I ran to where my gun had dropped to the ground but he grabbed me and dropped me to the ground, the gun just slightly out of reach. He grabbed it and held it to my head. I hit it up and tried to overpower him, pointing it up straighter and just away from my head. I turned my head to the side and I pushed. He was on top of me and I was not strong enough to push him off.

I saw the light turn on and I heard a gunshot. His arms weakened, his body fell limp on mine and I pushed him off me immediately. I took a few seconds to catch my breath back before rolling to my side and sitting up. I coughed a few times and put my hand over the small pain in my abdomen. I snatched my gun from his hand and uncocked it. I looked up at my team. JJ still had her gun aimed on him so I assumed she was who shot him.

"Thanks." I said quietly.

"Yeah, no problem." JJ said, walking over. She checked for a pulse and then pulled the mask up from his face, "He was in one of the files; I recognise the scar."

I pulled the sleeve and glove away from his left wrist to reveal the four-leafed clover. I groaned and pushed my hair back away from my face. Hotch held his hand out to me and I took it. He pulled me up and held my chin gently between his thumb and index finger, turning my head to look at my cheek where I assumed there was a cut by the way it was stinging. I hit his hand away and lifted Sergio up as he meowed and ran to my feet. I kissed between his ears and smiled to myself as he hugged me, his paws on my shoulder and his head rubbing against my neck.

"Your house is a mess." Reid said quietly, walking around the perimeter of the living room.

"It was like this when I got home," I said as I put Sergio down, "I assure you, I do not live like this."

"Why was the light out?" Rossi asked, looking at the smashed few picture frames I had on a table near the staircase and along the wall.

"I turned it out."

"Why?" Garcia asked.

"What's with all the questions?"

"Do you know how he got in?" Morgan asked, ignoring my question. He moved the curtains to look at the window locks and I ran over, pulled him back and closed the curtain again.

"Don't move the curtains! I opened the door and he came in."

"You _let_ him in? Do you know him?" JJ asked.

"No," I shook my head. She gave me a very confused look. "I thought it was Hotch."

"He does not look like Hotch." Reid shook his head.

I rolled my eyes, "I didn't look through the little peep hole thing. He knocked; I assumed that if it was Doyle of one of his minions, they wouldn't have knocked."

"Let me guess. You looked through the apartment to make sure no one was here. You put that table in front of the door, you locked all the windows, turned the light out and sat in this chair to wait for Doyle just like you did last time." Rossi recounted correctly.

"I found Sergio somewhere in there but basically yes."

"Okay, I'll go pack a bag for you." JJ said as she stood from her crouching position and she put the smashed picture frames back up onto the table where they belonged. She walked to the staircase and went upstairs quickly.

"Wait, what?" I turned and followed her, "Why are you packing a bag?"

"You're coming with us," JJ said, "We're all going to Rossi's. Will, Henry and Jack are already on their way there." She walked into my room and lifted my go bag from the floor at the end of my bed. I had brought it home with me yesterday and I forgot to take it in this morning.

"JJ, I don't want—"

"I know. You don't want to come with us. You want to be by yourself and you want us to be together so that they'll come for you and maybe leave us alone. You want to take us out of this whole mess and we appreciate that, but we're not going anywhere, Em. I get it, you want to handle this on your own, it's _your_ problem, right? Well honey, we're in it now and we're not letting you go again. You're coming with us because you'll be safer that way and so will we."

"No you won't."

"An extra gun," She looked at me, "Please don't refuse, Emily. We were trying to keep our distance for a while because we knew that it's what you wanted but then Garcia reminded us of last time and she played us the message she left for you and…" She had to stop to keep herself together, looking away to blink the tears away, "We can't lose you again. Please, let us help you this time."

I look up and shook my head at myself, trying to keep my tears back. I looked at her and took a deep breath, "Okay."

She smiled, "Okay. Thank you." She stepped forwards and hugged me. A few tears escaped my eyes but I wiped them away before she saw them. "Go downstairs and get the things you need for Sergio. Garcia pointed out to us that you wouldn't come if you couldn't bring him so Rossi gave in."

I nodded and turned, walking back downstairs. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked around the living room.

"Prentiss?" Hotch asked. I looked at him but I didn't say anything. I think it was just hitting me that someone came into my apartment and tried to kill me. I would have died tonight if the team hadn't gotten here when they did. If JJ hadn't shot when we she did, he would have shot me.

"Rossi, take her back to your place. Garcia, get JJ and go with them." Hotch said to them. Garcia walked passed me and ran up the stairs quickly. Rossi walked over to me and put his arm around me, pushing my gently to start walking. It was like I was in shock.

* * *

I sat silently in Rossi's living room. JJ was close to my side, offering all the comfort she could. Rossi, Will and Garcia sat on the other couches. I knew they were all watching me. Jack and Henry were asleep upstairs; it was pretty late now.

I heard the front door open and close but I didn't turn my head or even lift my eyes to see to them. Morgan filled us in on what they found at my apartment, which was nothing useful. I thought about what I was going to do. I didn't want my team to be in any danger. I needed to get away from them to stop that from happening, but even if I left, I couldn't guarantee their safety.

A few times someone would say my name or ask me something but I was unresponsive. After about an hour of their conversation, silence had filled the room momentarily before I decided to finally speak, "What are you going to do about Jack and Henry?"

"What?" JJ asked.

"Are you going to keep Henry here in this danger or are you going to get him out?"

She sat back, "We have nowhere to send him," She shook her head, "I've kind of lost contact with my mother and Will doesn't have any family that he talks to."

"He can go with Jack," Hotch offered quietly, "I have a safe house in another country and I have someone going with him. Henry can go with them if you want."

JJ looked at her husband and he nodded. She looked back at Hotch and smiled appreciatively, "Thanks Hotch."

"It's only midnight." Garcia said quietly.

"You can go to sleep, baby girl." Morgan said to her.

"Are you kidding? I'm not staying in a room by myself."

He smiled and stood up, pulling her with him, "Alright, come on."

"That's a good idea; we all should get some sleep." Hotch said.

JJ and Will stood up and walked upstairs after I assured JJ that I was okay. Reid and Rossi followed them when Hotch motioned for them to. He looked at me and I avoided his eyes, looking anywhere but him.

"Prentiss, are you sure you're okay?"

I let my eyes fall on him and I nodded, "I'm fine, Hotch."

"Please tell me if you aren't. Whether it's now, tomorrow, in the middle of the night, a week from now. Just let me know."

I nodded, "Okay."

He stood up, "Come on, you need some sleep." I sighed and stood up. I walked beside him and turned the light out as we walked past the switch. When I reached the room where I was told I would be sleeping, between Morgan and Hotch and across from Rossi, Hotch stopped me at the door, "Please don't sleep with the gun actually _on_ you?"

I smiled weakly and rolled my eyes, "Good night."

"Good night." He smiled and walked to the next room.


	5. Chapter 5

**(There will be a point of view switch in this. Sorry if it's confusing, but I don't think it will be.)**

 **Prentiss**

I had spent the rest of the night sitting silently on the ground with my head resting against the end of the bed I was supposed to be asleep in. My gun hadn't left my hand all night and my finger stayed on the trigger to allow a quick shoot. It was only Wednesday morning now. I put as much makeup on that I could to cover the bags under my eyes but still look discreet. It didn't work as well as I had hoped so I was just relying on no one noticing or bringing it up. I walked downstairs where the team sat in the living room. There were two travel bags against the wall, Hotch was talking to Jack near them, JJ and Will were hugging Henry and a man I didn't know stood next to the bags, lifting them up.

"How long do I have to go for, mummy?" Henry asked JJ quietly.

"I don't know, baby. I'm sorry."

"Okay, I'll see you as soon as I can, buddy." I heard Hotch say as his son hugged him. I watched as Jack walked around the living room and said goodbye to the team. He walked over to me last.

"Bye Emily." He smiled. I hugged him and blinked the tears away.

"I'm so sorry, Jack."

"It's not your fault." He shook his head. He walked over to the man who was now holding the bags, "Hey dad, don't wait too long to speak up." Before Hotch could say anything else, Jack hugged him again quickly and walked out. JJ was crying, sobbing and she finally let Henry go. Will hugged him again and had tears in his eyes as Henry ran out behind Jack, saying bye to the rest of us as he left.

"Don't wait too long to speak up?" Rossi asked Hotch.

"Unrelated to this situation." Hotch shook his head.

"It involves a girl," Morgan smirked, "I know that face when I see it and I know how you speak when you avoid speaking about a female you fancy."

Hotch's hesitated silence told us all that Morgan was right.

"I have to go to the precinct now." Hotch said as he lifted his suit jacket and walked to the foyer quickly.

"Hotch!" I called before he would have a chance to leave the house.

"My god, I didn't see you there, princess." Morgan said, watching me as I walked through the living room. I guess he hadn't noticed Jack approach me or my voice when I talked to him.

He stood by the door and waited for me so speak when I stood in front of him.

"Any chance you'll let me come with you early so I don't have to deal with the millions of "are you okay" questions all worded differently?"

He nodded and waited for me to grab my handbag from where I had left it last night. I grabbed it and made sure my spare gun was it in before walking back to the foyer and leaving with Hotch.

We drove in silence for a while before he broke it, "So I know you came with me to avoid this, but I'm going to ask once and not a million times so it's not the same thing. Are you feeling okay?"

I let out my signature sigh, "I don't know. I mean, I'll _be_ okay, but I'm just full of anxiety and fear right now."

"Honestly, so am I." He admitted.

I looked at him and raised my eyebrows, "You, SSA Aaron Hotchner, is feeling fear?"

He snickered as he stopped at a red light and looked at me, "Believe it or not, it wouldn't be the first time. But I don't fear the loss of my own life; I fear the loss of my team's lives."

"Yeah, same," Silence filled the car again and I didn't like it, "So who's the girl?" I asked him as he started driving again. There was something inside of me that heated up painfully when I thought about it. I was overly curious about it for some reason.

He shook his head, "There isn't one."

"That was a shit lie. I don't think I've ever heard or seen you tell a lie that badly."

"Look, I don't really have time for a partner at the moment so I don't want to speak about it. It'll just make it harder for me if I acknowledge it."

I looked back out the window, "Okay. But I'm just full warning you, if you've spoken to her on several occasions in public over the past month, she could possibly be in danger."

"I know." He nodded. Something about how he said it told me that she _was_ in danger. That he _knew_ that she was and it wasn't just a possibility. I decided to leave it there and not push the conversation any more.

 **Hotch**

It was about 3 in the afternoon when I finally left my office to go to my team. Will would be working with us until we ended this so he was by JJ's side whenever I looked out. They were all looking into individual people and areas and I assumed no one found anything drastic, considering no one had knocked or ran in.

I walked down the few steps and saw my whole team sitting by the desks apart from Prentiss. The others looked like they were taking a break.

"Hey." Morgan greeted me as I walked over to them, my eyes scanning the bullpen as I did, looking for the missing agent.

"I'm assuming no one found anything?"

"No, and we've given up momentarily to take a break because this is exhausting." JJ said.

"I know," I nodded, "Where's Prentiss?"

"Her phone rang like a half hour ago and she took the call. I haven't seen her since." Garcia replied.

I felt my stomach drop, "Did she leave the building?"

"I don't know; I never thought to go looking for some reason. I'm so used to you all being okay and safe. Now I'm scared." She took her phone out and dialled Prentiss' number.

I heard the ring of a phone in her top drawer. I was closest to her desk so I pulled the drawer out and held her phone up. My eyes caught something else in there as I did. I lifted the purple and white flower in the drawer. It was a fake one. I looked at my team as they all saw the flower in my hand. Rossi stood up and walked over, looking at the flower when I gave it to him. I lifted the photo that was underneath it next. It was of Prentiss from years ago. She was smiling in the photo but it wasn't a forced smile, it was genuine. She was sincerely happy in this photo and her eyes were lit with love and adoration. What concerned me about the photo was who was next to her in it. She was looking at Ian Doyle and he was smiling too, looking away from her. It sent hatred through me, seeing him making her happy in this photo. He didn't deserve to make her happy; she didn't deserve what he had caused on her in the past and what he was causing on her now. Heat spread through me but it didn't feel like anger exactly. I wasn't sure what it was but it wasn't nice. I couldn't look at the photo anymore so I passed it to Rossi. I lifted a piece of paper next that was folded twice.

"Should you really be looking through her things?" Reid asked us. Rossi held the photo out to him and he took it. As soon as he realised what it was, he nodded and answered himself, "Yes, justified."

"What?" JJ asked. Reid handed her the photo and I opened the paper. It wasn't old; the paper was as white as it would be out of the packaging, the ink was clear and not faded and there was nothing on it. The corners weren't even slightly curled. It was very new.

 _Meet me at S & G at 3. Come alone and don't tell anyone. I'll know if you are accompanied, Lauren._

 _Don't worry; I'm not intending on killing you just yet. Last night was a miscommunication._

I shook my head and gave the short letter to Rossi. I looked at him. He looked back at me, "We can't go. She's in more danger if we show up."

"It takes a half hour to get there, Dave. If we leave now, she'll still be by herself for long enough. If we leave later, we might be too late."

"If we leave now and they're already planning on taking her, we'll be too late anyway. She should have told us and she shouldn't have gone. We're going to be too late no matter when we leave. What we should do is stay here and find cameras around that area and watch her. If they take her, we get the licence plate, track the car, and go get her. We can't do any good in a car." He shook his head.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" I heard Prentiss' voice behind me. I turned and looked at her with a shocked expression. She saw the note in Rossi's hand, the photo in JJ's as she stood at his side and the flower on top of the desk. Her eyes flared with anger.

"I rang you and your phone was in your drawer so Hotch got it out and found everything." Garcia explained before we could say anything.

"This is my area. Leave my things alone and get away from my area." She said, looking from me to Rossi to JJ. Rossi put the note down and JJ put the photo down. They both stepped away and I stood looking at Prentiss. "What?"

"You didn't go." I don't know why it impressed me so much.

"Well I'm not a complete moron…"

I nodded and turned, walking back towards my office. I heard her footsteps follow me so I didn't close the door behind me. She closed it herself when she walked into the office, "Thank you for not going."

"Yeah, no problem," She said quickly, "Why were you looking through my stuff, Hotch?"

"Garcia told you. She called to see where you were and I thought it was weird that you left with a call but your phone was in your desk…"

"I have two phones. And you continued to look because?"

"You actually loved him," I avoided the question, "You looked genuinely happy and in love in that photo with him."

"I was playing a part."

"It was more than that." I shook my head.

She looked down with a sigh, "Well it's in the past and it's gone and it's one of my biggest regrets."

"I wasn't judging you," I shook my head again, "So who were you talking to for so long?"

"Just an old friend." She said quietly. I couldn't tell whether it was a lie or not. She was looking down before I asked and she hadn't moved. "Well I'm going to go and put my things back into my desk." She said as she took a few steps backwards.

"Sorry." I apologised as she opened the door. She nodded and left my office. I watched her walk back down the few steps and over to her desk. She shook her head when she read the note and put it back in the desk. She looked at the flower for a second before putting it back and then she lifted the photo. She bit her lip as she did and I saw her posture change slightly. She closed her eyes and shook her head before putting it back. I saw her lips move quickly but when I looked at the team, no one said anything and only Morgan and JJ were looking at her. She was talking to herself. Reassuring herself, possibly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Prentiss**

It took me quite a while, but I was finally able to convince the team to let me go to my apartment by myself tonight to get some things. I promised them that I'd go to Rossi's straight after I got it, but I told them that it was something personal and that I needed it without them knowing what it was exactly. I didn't really have anything to grab, I just needed a break and some time to myself. I had to assure Hotch that I'd be fine several times. I did argue with Rossi for a while before I won with the lines "Rossi, I'm not a child. Do you not think I'm good at what I do? Because this is really insulting". The whole team had heard it and they all shut up then; they didn't want to upset me.

I walked into my apartment and closed the door behind me. I was exhausted after today and nothing seemed different from when I left it. I hadn't cleaned up after they made a mess of the place but nothing looked like it had moved. I turned the lights on and put my bag down on the kitchen counter before sitting on the couch. I sighed and sat back.

I was surprised that no one had contacted me via either text or call to make sure I was okay here. They were asking me in person every five minutes; what was different now? Maybe it was because of my argument with Rossi. I appreciated the silence. I wanted to relax, to let my mind and my body rest, but I just couldn't do it. I was rigid, my mind was working without even a minute's break, I always had this sick feeling of fear in my stomach. It got to a point where it actually made me feel nauseous. I had gone to the bathroom several times today, thinking I would throw up. I never did, but I felt like I would.

I sighed and stood back up. I needed to find something to take back to Rossi's with me so no one questioned me. I didn't have many things that had a lot of value to me that weren't already packed into my bag by JJ. I picked up a few picture frames from the table and took the photos out of the smashed glass and edgings. I took the photo of JJ, Will and Henry when Henry was only about three months old, I took a photo of Garcia, JJ and I, I took a photo of the four men in my team and I took a photo of all eight of us together. These were valuable to me. I slipped them into the pocket of my jacket that I hadn't taken off and continued walking around my apartment.

I started to clean it up a bit; the mess was too irritating to tolerate any longer. I cleaned for a long while and by the time I sat down again, it had been about an hour. I checked my phone and found no messages or missed calls. I smiled to myself. At least they were able to trust me, to give themselves some time to relax and not worry so much.

When I sat back against the couch again, I closed my eyes and I accidently fell asleep almost instantly, but it wasn't for long. I woke to a loud bang in my apartment and before I was even able to turn around, there was a long piece of fabric pulled over my mouth and hands holding me still. I tried to struggle and get out of the grip of the four men but I wasn't strong enough.

"Just keep her still." I heard a slight Irish accent speak. My eyes were covered and I tried to shake the hand off but I was unsuccessful.

"She's stronger than we thought." Another voice said.

"Knock her out. He doesn't care how we get her there, as long as she's alive." I tried to scream but the fabric in my mouth made it near impossible to make a sound loud enough for the people across the hall to hear. Maybe the tenants underneath me would here the struggling footsteps and call the police. Not likely, considering my whole apartment was raided and no one was called.

Something caused quick pressure and pain to my head that lasted only a second before I blacked out.

* * *

I felt the fabric being loosened around my head and then removed from my mouth as I regained consciousness. There were several soft voices I heard, mostly Irish and Czech. I wondered if I'd know any of them. I blinked my eyes open and saw the dull light. Two unknown men at my sides grabbed my arms and lifted me up. They led me out of the room and down a hall. They turned right and then stopped at the door at the end that had several locks on it. On my right was a small room with cheap seating and on my left was a dead end to the hall with only one more door fitting in before the wall.

I waited silently as one of the men undid the locks and opened the door. The other pushed me forwards and I stumbled as I walked into the room. It was lit, but it was a dull light as well. That wasn't my main problem with the room, however. There were eight seats lining the walls with enough room for someone to walk behind them between the chairs and the wall, and seven were already filled with my team and Will. I heard Garcia sob but I knew she tried to keep it in. Across the room were Rossi, Garcia and then Reid. Will sat on the adjacent wall next to JJ and then Hotch and Morgan. The seat that I assumed I would be tied in was on its own against the same wall that the door was on.

I didn't bother trying to fight back as they pushed me back into the chair and tied my hands behind it. They tied my feet too, although these were looser than my wrists. After the tied me, one walked towards the door and the other stood in front of me, looking at my face.

"Pathetic." I whispered to him. He placed a hard slap across my face and it stung. I turned back to look forwards again and kept my face expressionless. He walked towards the door quietly. "Tell Doyle I'm _eagerly_ awaiting him…" I said to them when I heard the door open.

They snickered, "Like she could do something when he does come in." One said to the other.

"I'm going to kill him and the two of you and every other motherfucker out there and I'm going to do it slowly and painfully and it will be the first time that I regret nothing."

"Anything else to say to him?"

"Tell him that I was not joking when I warned him to stay away from my team." I stared forwards and down at the ground as I spoke. There was no emotion in my face or my voice. I sounded tired, but I sounded sincere, fearless and threatening. I was good at lying through tone, apparently.

"Such a pretty girl." The slightly shorter one said, looking at me.

"All three of them are. We're going to have some fun tomorrow." The other said before they both walked out. I looked at the ground as I heard the door close and silence fell over the room apart from the quiet sobs that Garcia tried to keep in. She was too terrified to be completely successful.

"What are we in for, Em?" Rossi asked quietly.

"If it were anyone else, death," I said, "But I'm not going to let that happen this time."

"You're tied to a chair…" Morgan said, "How are you going to stop them?"

"They're going to untie me."

"How do you know?" Reid asked.

"I know," I looked at him, "But they'll untie Garcia first and she's who they're planning to be the first to go, at least in their original plan. She's also who they would have tied the loosest."

"Why?" JJ asked.

"Because they don't think she's capable of any harm."

"I'm not." Garcia shook her head.

"You are," I disagreed, "If it's one guy in here to untie you, point the gun upwards and jab for his throat and kick him in the crotch. His hand will loosen on the gun. Take it and shoot him. If it's more than one, obey them and don't take any risks."

"No—"

"Garcia."

"I'm not shooting—"

"Garcia! If you ever want JJ and Will to see Henry again, if you want Hotch to see Jack, Reid to see his mother, Morgan his family, Rossi his, then you need to fight because you're the one they'll underestimate. _You_ need to get them out of here."

"And you." JJ said quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere." I shook my head.

"What? You're just going to let him kill you? Work for him?" Morgan asked.

"I'll do whatever he wants me to do if it means your lives and your safety in the future. I'm not getting out, Morgan. I'll be the one they'll do anything to stop. I know what they do in these situations; I was on their side of this once upon a time."

"This has happened before?" Will asked.

"Doyle never abducted but his "soldiers" did. They're terrorists turned murderers. We'll be lucky to get the seven of you out."

"If it's more than one guy and Garcia obeys, what will they do with her?" JJ asked me.

I shook my head, "It changes, depending on who Doyle's working with or who's doing the dirty work. She could just be made to make a call to someone that knows us and lie about where we are, she could be interrogated, she could be…" I didn't finish that possibility but they knew I meant raped. Garcia sobbed and dropped her head forwards.

"What are we waiting for right now?" Hotch asked, speaking for the first time. His voice was comforting, I feeling of safety and security.

"They're probably trying to communicate with Doyle to see what he wants done next. We could be waiting from minutes to hours to even a day or two. It really depends on where he is and how long he wants us to wait."

"So it's going to be a while before anything happens," Morgan nodded, "And we have no one left that would notice our absence and know what kind of danger we were in."

"No one even knows that Doyle's alive." Rossi said.

"Someone knows…" JJ said quietly.

"What?" Hotch asked her. He had told us not to say a word to anyone else.

She closed her eyes and dropped her head after hearing the anger in Hotch's voice, "It wasn't safe for us to just keep it within the team."

"Who did you tell?"

"…Cruz," She told him. I saw Will's eyes flash with anger, but it went as quickly as it came as he looked at his wife. She looked back at him, "He saved my life, Will. That's it. He's just my section chief."

"Now's not really the time for jealously or anger." Morgan reminded them of where we were.

"You'll be doing their job for them; turning on each other voluntarily." I said quietly. The conversation ended at that and we returned to silence. I was the closest to the door and tried to listen to what was behind it.

* * *

Hours had past and we had all lost track of time. There were no windows in this room so we had no idea of the time of day. I think we were underground. I hadn't stopped moving my hands and wrists for hours, trying to loosen the rope. It was looser, but not enough to free me yet. I would need a few more hours to loosen it enough to free myself. Then I'd need a while on the others around the room and I knew I wouldn't have that kind of time all at once.

I looked to my left as I heard the locks turning. The door opened and three men walked in. One walked to Garcia, one stood in the corner of the room closest to Morgan and I and the other stayed by the door. I looked at Garcia and she was looking at me. Her eyes questioned me on what to do.

"Just do what they tell you." I said quietly.

"Shut up." The one in the corner stepped towards me slapped across my cheek. He was one of the men that had brought me in here.

"Did you talk to Doyle? Did he tell you to kill me yet?"

"He doesn't want you dead."

"Bullshit."

"He wants Lauren." The one near the door said.

"Well you tell him that there won't ever be a Lauren again if he doesn't quit being a coward and come in here to talk to me himself."

"He won't like that you called him that."

"What? A coward? I'll bet he's never heard that before." I rolled my eyes.

"You know, you're all talk." The one from the corner crouched in front of me.

"Untie me and I'll be a whole lot me."

He snickered and nodded, "Nice try."

"Pussy." I smirked.

He shook his head and stood up, "Oh, I cannot wait for the words "untie her and have your fun."."

"Nah, he'll want her to himself." The one untying Garcia said.

"I'm looking forward to it." I said quietly.

"Let's go." The one said at the door. The other walked through with Garcia.

"I'm getting impatient!" I called to them before the door closed.

* * *

Quite a while past and I was horrified at the screams I was hearing from Garcia. I guessed she was in the room beside this one; it was the only one close enough for us to hear her. She has begged whoever it was to stop what they were doing, she cried and screamed. Morgan fought against his chair for a while but he gave up and stopped trying to break free one way or another. I kept working at the rope around my wrists. I think I had roped burn from the way I was rubbing them together, hoping the friction would make it easier to snap.

The door opened after a while and a man pushed Garcia back into the room. She looked petrified and scarred for life. She sat back down where she was previously and tied back up.

"Garcia?" I asked her quietly. My voice had more desperation in it that I had wanted my team to hear. She was unresponsive. She didn't even look up at me. Tears were in her eyes, although not falling, and she stared at the ground. She looked numb.

"You'll get worse than she did, so don't worry your pretty little head too much yet." He said to me, crouching in front of me.

"You son of a bitch!" I tried to pull my hands out and he stood quickly, stepping back and my body moved forwards slightly in the chair. I hear a small tear in the rope and I kept pulling on it.

"I need more rope!" He yelled out the open door. After there was no reply, he mumbled to himself angrily and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him and doing the locks up.

"Baby girl?" Morgan asked quietly. She still didn't respond. I worked at the rope again, feeling it get looser each time I twisted my wrists around, holding them as far apart as the rope would allow. I didn't have enough time to snap through it before the guy turned the locks and came back, wrapping the new rope around my wrists tighter than the other.

"Someone will be in for you soon." He said, pointing to JJ before walking out again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Prentiss**

A long while passed before three new men came in. None of us had seen these ones before. One untied JJ and the other two stood watching us. As soon as JJ was free from the rope, she jumped up and round house kicked the one behind her. The other two pulled guns when she turned back to them. She stopped momentarily, making them think she'd stop fighting because of the guns. The one closer to her took a step forwards to grab her. She dodged his hand and pointed the gun he was holding up. She kneed him in the stomach and ducked when the other shot at her. She kicked the one near her in the crotch and took his gun from his hand, shooting the one standing closer to the door. The bullet went straight between his eyes.

The one whose gun she had taken was lying on the ground in pain and the other had hit the wall off her kick. I think he blacked out. She tucked the gun into her waistband and ran to Morgan, the strongest choice. She started to try and untie the knotted rope binding his hands behind him. She made a frustrated noise as she struggled with the tie.

"Right!" I warned her. Her head shot to her right where the man that had been kicked approached her quickly. He punched her hard when he reached her and pulled her up by her hair. He took the gun back from her waistbelt.

"Back up!" He called loudly. The open door soon welcomed three more bodies as JJ was placed in the middle of the room. He threw her to the ground and when she tried to get back up, he punched her down again. Will struggled against the rope and chair. I saw the anger and guilt in his eyes; he wanted so badly to be able to help her. I saw Morgan and Hotch both trying to move the rope and loosen it. I assumed Rossi and Reid were doing the same, both looking behind them where their hands were tied. Garcia sat motionless, still looking at the ground. She was traumatised.

I didn't bother trying against the rope on my wrists. I knew it was too tight and I'd never be able to break free to help her. I tried my ankle instead, the one I had loosened by twisting my ankle again and again for hours. I looked away after he punched her a few more times and she fell to the side, coughing as she tried to keep herself up.

One of the men was standing a step back from me, against the wall. He noticed Morgan working at the rope and went to walk towards him. I threw myself in the chair to the side and kicked him with the ankle that I broke free and tripped him over. My boots had a rather high heel and I put it over his neck, keeping him pinned to the ground. He pried my foot away and another guy behind me pulled my chair back to where it was before, away from him.

I heard the sounds of punches and kicks to JJ stop and I looked back towards her. She lay on the ground, rolling away from him slowly, coughing and struggling to breathe. The guy who had been beating her up gripped her hair and pulled her to her feet, "That wasn't the fun I had in mind." He said menacingly before pushing her towards the door. The others followed them out and the door was closed again, the locks in place again.

"So much blood…" Reid said quietly, looking at where JJ was previously.

"Get off of me!" I heard JJ scream. Will made a sound of anger and frustration and looked away from anyone of the team. I used my untied ankle to pry the rope around my other down and off my leg. Once I freed both legs, I closed my eyes and tried to think of strategy rather than JJ's pain filled cries.

* * *

JJ was placed back with us, sitting on the chair with a black eye, busted lip and a split on her forehead that would probably require stitches. Her face was bruised, her arms were bruised and I was going to guess her thighs were too. She had a clear hand print marked on her left arm and it looked painful. Will sat looking at her, not knowing what he could say that could possibly make anything better. There was nothing he could say.

The man stopped at the door and looked at me, "Anything else to say to Doyle? He likes to hear the messages you pass."

"If that door opens one more time and it isn't him to untie me and face me like a real man then he's as good as dead because they're coming to rain down on him like the Holy Ghost unless I tell them otherwise."

"Who is?" He asked me, his eyes narrowing.

"You'll know soon."

He didn't question me further. He walked out quickly and locked the door behind him. I looked at JJ. There were a few tears on her cheeks but she didn't look as bad mentally or emotionally as Garcia did, who still hadn't said anything or looked at anyone.

"JJ?" Will asked quietly. She turned her head and looked at him. He didn't know what to say then. He shook his head as he looked over her injured skin.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly to him.

"I think that _I_ should be sorry more than you." He said. She looked forwards again and Will looked at Garcia.

"So…who's _they_ , exactly?" Reid asked.

"No one," I shook my head, "No one is coming and if someone was, they wouldn't get far enough to reach us or Doyle, but I had to find something to intrigue him enough to come in himself."

"And what are you planning on doing if he does come in?" Rossi asked.

"I know every possible way to manipulate him; I just have to pick the right approach first or he'll realise what I'm doing before I get to do it. If I do it right, he'll untie me."

"But he'll have back up in here." Hotch said.

"No one will shoot if he's in front of me." I looked at my boss.

"You're not taking any risks." He shook his head.

"I'm sorry; did you want to see Jack again or not?"

"Do not try and use him to convince me."

"Whether you want me to or not, I'm going to do what I can to get all of you out of here."

"Fine; we'll get JJ and Garcia out and the rest of us will stay with you." Morgan said.

"It doesn't matter what you plan right now, guys, because you know it won't work and you'll have to think differently on your feet." JJ said.

I realised that I had been moving my wrists around vigorously for a while now and I felt the rope start to loosen. I had been doing it so often over the past hours that I didn't even notice. I stopped when I felt nothing around them and heard something hit the ground. I put my hands in front of me and stretched my wrists out before standing and running to Morgan. I worked at the rope around his wrists as JJ had done and I was so close to untying him before I heard the locks on the door again. I stood back up and picked up the rope that was around my wrists previously. I stood against the wall beside the door and as soon as an unknown man walked in and past me, not noticing my motionless self behind the door, I stepped forwards and put the rope over his head and around his neck. I held both ends in my hands and yanked hard. I turned myself and him around as I heard two other Irish voices. Two men ran into the room with guns pointed at me. Morgan had worked the rope the rest of the way off his wrists and was now getting the second ankle free.

I pulled the rope harder around this guy's throat as he struggled for air, flailing his legs around, trying to get away from me or draw attention; I wasn't sure which one.

One of the men pointing guns at me cocked his and put his finger on the trigger. Just as I thought he was about to pull it, Morgan crashed into his side, taking him down. I smiled to myself and loosened the rope from the man's neck. I threw myself around and punched him hard.

I figured the groans of men as the breath was knocked out of them and the punches being thrown were all controlled by Morgan.

"Enough." The unmistakable voice said sombrely. I froze at the sound. The man underneath me noticed and took advantage. He punched me and pushed my backwards, off of him. I felt his hand tighten around my throat tightly and he lifted my head before crashing it back into the ground. I struggled to breath and the hit to my head gave me a pounding headache instantly. I tried to pry his hand away but it was not so helpful.

"Conner, stop." Doyle ordered. His hand left my neck and I turned to the side, putting one hand to the back of my head and the other to brush over my neck. I caught my breath back as I pulled myself up and looked towards Morgan. He stood with four men holding him still. There were three more men standing behind Doyle and the one that I had choked joined them. My eyes landed on Doyle and fear shot through me. My eyes locked on his. He appeared with no emotion and I knew that I was the complete opposite.

"How nice to see you again, Lauren, although this is unfortunate circumstances."

"You could have just called me like any other person and asked me to meet you somewhere. You didn't have to do all of this."

"But this was more fun, love. But do you know what was even more fun? Stabbing him." His eyes turned dark and threatening. He was inciting me. He was referring to Declan, and why the team may not have known straight away, he knew that I did. They caught on when I looked down to my left and bit my lip.

"He was your son." I shook my head and looked back to him.

" _You_ made me do that. _You_ took him away from me and _you_ made me hate him."

"I took him away from you so he wouldn't have to go through everything that you did. The amount of deaths that boy had seen before he was even a teenager," I shook my head, "You cannot blame me for giving him a chance at life."

"And look where it got him. Hell." His lips stuck in a small smirk as he looked into my eyes. It was terrifying and I wanted to look away but his were holding mine there. I was able to look away when he did. "Tie him back up." He said to the four men holding Morgan. He struggled against them again but two of the four behind Doyle went to assist them. The other two moved towards me but Doyle stopped them, "Not her."

After Morgan was tied, he looked back at the men, "Make him regret getting out of the rope in the first place." He said to them. They nodded and one threw a hard punch to Morgan's abdomen, starting the rally of punches, kicks and whatever else they could do to him while he was sitting down that would cause injury but not death.

I didn't know what to do. Did I stand here without moving, did I approach Doyle or did I try to stop them from hurting Morgan any more than they had?

After a short while, Morgan was left battered and beaten, his head hanging, although he was still conscious.

"Leave us." Doyle said to them. The eight men walked out and closed the door behind them, leaving the tied team, Doyle and I. I didn't know what to do now either so I just tried to steady my breathing. He kept his eyes on me as he stepped towards Morgan slowly. I went to move and pull him away from him but he held his hand up, "Lauren, do you remember the last time the two of us fought?"

I swallowed hard and readied myself to move if he did anything. He crouched and looked at Morgan as he lifted his head slightly to him. He snickered and shook his head before standing again. He walked past Hotch and stopped at JJ. She looked at him and then spat to the ground at his feet. He tilted his head slightly, "Well wasn't that polite, let alone lady-like." He kept walking past Will and Reid and then stopped at Garcia, "I assure you, I did tell them to go easy on you." She looked up from the first time since she came back into this room and her eyes met his. Tears dripped down her cheeks and she was too scared to move even her eyes, let alone drop her head.

"What did I tell you about coming near my team?" My voice was steady, but you could hear the emotion in it.

He stood straighter and turned to look at me, "You said that I if I went near your team, you would end me, yet here I am, standing closer to them than you are." He walked back around them, standing in front of Hotch, although facing me. I saw him turn around and pull a switchblade from his pocket. Before I could do anything to stop him, the knife was in Hotch's leg above his knee. He sat forwards slightly and bit his lip to keep his reaction in.

I stepped forwards quickly and grabbed Doyle's arm. I turned him around and punched him across the face. He wasn't expecting it, so it affected him more than any others would from now onwards.


	8. Chapter 8

**Prentiss**

 _I stepped forwards quickly and grabbed Doyle's arm. I turned him around and punched him across the face. He wasn't expecting it, so it affected him more than any others would from now onwards._

He turned back to a straight posture and glared at me. I stood motionless, staring back at him. I waited for him to make the first move. He lunged for me and I stepped to the side quickly, dodging him. I kicked him from behind and he fell, hitting his head against the wall. I took the chance to untie Morgan again. I ran to Hotch and looked at the knife in his leg. He nodded, granting permission for me to take it from his leg.

"I'm sorry." I said before pulling it from his flesh. He flinched and bit down on his tongue, looking down to his right with his eyes clenched shut. I ran around and cut the rope off Morgan's wrists, then his ankles. I skipped Hotch, considering he couldn't walk on one of his legs at the moment. I cut Will free and Morgan looked at Hotch's leg.

"Back up! Kill them!" Doyle started shouting. Morgan and I looked at each other.

I cut the rope from around Will's second ankle and gave him the knife, "Keep cutting."

Morgan stood up and walked to the door as he heard the locks. Why would they have _locked_ Doyle in here? He stood behind it, holding rope and waiting for someone to come in. I walked to Doyle and put my hand over his mouth. He bit me and I cursed as I pulled my hand away.

"Bitch." I breathed quietly, looking at my hand.

The door opened and five guys walked in. Morgan kicked one down and slung the rope around another's neck. I looked at Will to my left and he gave the knife to JJ before going to help Morgan.

I saw the gun on Doyle's belt and reached for it, snatching it quickly before he knew I was taking it. I pulled the lever down to cock it and pointed the gun, shooting one of three men around Will. I held the gun to Doyle's head, "Tell them to stand down."

He stared into my eyes for a few seconds, testing me, before he realised that I wasn't kidding around. "Stand down, stand down!" He said to them. Morgan and Will both stepped back a few steps, standing in front of the team to block the men from going for them. "You wouldn't want to pull that trigger, Lauren. The moment the men in Denmark hear that you killed me, Henry and Jack are dead."

I looked at Hotch for confirmation that Denmark was where they were. He nodded and looked down.

"Emily, put the gun down." JJ said quietly. I didn't want to let him win this but I couldn't shoot; I couldn't risk Jack and Henry.

I uncocked the gun and held it out behind me. Rossi took it from my hand.

"Emily?" I heard a British woman ask quietly. I looked up quickly, seeing someone whom I worked with in the past standing by the door holding a gun.

"Mia." I breathed quietly. Her lips curved into a smirk and I realised that what she was trying to do was distract me. Doyle escaped my loosened hold on him quickly and gripped his hand around my neck. He threw me into the wall and held me there. I struggled to breath and tried to pry his hand away. How many times would this happen to me?

He punched my cheek and I spat the blood to the side. "I'll make sure you die this time." He said to me before throwing me across the room. The team was at the back wall, lost on what to do. Hotch was sitting and the others were standing. I flew through of the empty chairs and then the wall. The room wasn't wide at all. "Keep them back." He said to his men, pointing to the team. He approached me as I stumbled and stood back up. He grabbed my arm and the back of my neck and threw me back across the room. I hit the opposite wall and fell to the ground, rolling over slowly and coughing, my whole body telling me to stop this.

When he approached me again, I ducked under his hand and tripped him over. I put my hand on his neck and lifted his head, hitting back into the ground. This is what the guy did to me earlier and it was painful, so why not inflict it on Doyle?

I saw Mia out the corner of my eye, pointing her gun at me. I heard a man groan in pain and then saw JJ run to Mia, pointing the gun upwards and punching her before one of Doyle's men pulled her back. I threw Doyle's head back into the ground again. I heard a shot and saw Mia fall to the ground. I looked away from Doyle again and saw JJ holding the gun. Doyle noticed the distraction and I took the advantage to throw me off him. More men of his came in and I wondered how many he really had here. They took the gun from JJ and held her back with the rest of the team.

"Pin her down." He ordered them. Two men held my legs down, two held my arms down and another knelt at my head, ready to hold it down if need be. Doyle knelt down at my left wrist and pulled a small knife. My eyes widened as he put one hand on my wrist and started to put the knife to it. "Have you heard of body scarification, Lauren? It's kind of like a tattoo except instead of ink, you scar the skin."

My eyes widened further and I tried to struggle out of the grip pinning me to the cold ground.

"The more you move, the more I'll mess up and it'll hurt." Doyle said, putting a finger over my lips. I bit his finger hard and he cursed loudly. "Put your hands over her mouth so she can't scream." The one near my head laid both his hands over my mouth tightly. I closed my eyes as he started to cut into my skin. I desperately tried to keep the cries in. "Now normally this is done professionally and they have tools to do it properly and numbing creams and stuff but I'm not a professional and all I have is a knife. My knife if quite dull, too, so this will probably be really painful."

I knew what he meant by "really" painful. I tried to scream, a reflex thing to do when this kind of pain happened and you couldn't move, but the hands over my mouth stopped any noise from me going beyond this room. When I opened my eyes, I saw the horrified faces of my restrained team. Garcia was crying, flinching every time my scream left me. JJ's eyes were watering but she tried to keep strong for Garcia, the guys just looked helpless and dismayed.

After a while, he smiled at me, "I think I did a good job, don't you?" He lifted my wrist up for me to see. The four leaf clover was carved into my wrist and blood dripped down it. The guy near my head removed his hands from my mouth and I stared at Doyle. "Now, are you going to cooperate and come to the next room or do you want your team to see you go through what Garcia and JJ both did?"

I didn't reply to him but I didn't let my eyes stray from him. He nodded, "I'll take that as an "I won't cooperate"." He took a few steps back and crouched down, looking at my eyes as his hand met the button on my pants. I pulled my right leg from the unexpecting guy holding it and kicked him in the face before kicking Doyle. The heel of my boot would have made it more painful, but only slightly.

I thrashed my body and the grip of the other three men left my arms and left leg. Just as I went to get up, an electric shock spread through my body. It started from my hip and spread out in all directions. It was a taser, I realised as I felt my muscles spasm.

* * *

I woke and blinked my eyes open quickly. I was still lying on the cold ground and I realised where I was within seconds. My whole body ached painfully. It was almost silent, but I heard whispering between Morgan and Garcia. I forced my body to move, although it screamed in protest. I rolled over slowly and I now laid on my left side, looking at my team. They weren't tied up; they were sitting against the wall.

"Hey," JJ said quietly. She moved from the wall and over to me, "How are you feeling?"

"Everything is hurting, but I don't think I'm dying." I shook my head.

She smiled at that. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I don't think so." I said quietly.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"They pinned me to the ground and stopped me from moving."

She nodded and lifted my left wrist gently, "Body scarification. After this, he started to unbutton your pants. You freed your leg and kicked the guy holding it and then Doyle. You tried to get out of their grasp and then they tased you. You convulsed and then passed out for a quite a while."

There was a few seconds of silence; the team had been listening and they were all giving me a minute to process the reminder of what happened. As she explained it, I remembered parts of what happened, although there were a few empty spaces. "Are you and everyone else okay?" I asked her quietly.

"Garcia and I didn't undergo anymore direct violence to us, but Doyle thought it wouldn't be fun to rape you while you were passed out so he beat all the guys up instead, except for Hotch. He's losing more blood than what's safe."

I looked at boss. He looked weak and pale. He shook his head, "She's overreacting. I'm fine."

She sighed, "He's trying not to make us worry. He wouldn't even let me wrap it."

"Hotch, let her wrap it."

"I'm fine." He insisted.

"Swallow your pride for one fucking day and let her wrap it."

"…Fine." Hotch said quietly, letting me win.

"Savage…" Morgan said quietly. JJ moved towards Hotch and unzipped her sweater. It was all she really had to wrap it with.

"Why are we not tied?" I asked as I pulled myself into a sitting position. I winced as I straightened and my whole body panged with pain. I pulled my waistband down from my hip and saw the two marks in my skin from the taser.

"Don't know. After they beat us up, they just walked out and locked the door behind them. We already looked at every possible way to get out. It isn't possible with that door locked." Reid explained.

I looked at him properly and saw just how bad he was. His face was covered in bruises, both his eyes black and there was died blood in four different places. Rossi was a mess too. I don't think I'd ever seen them like this. "Wow…you two look terrible…" I said, looking at them. Will was pretty bad as well, but I had seen him injured and bruised before. I had seen Reid like it to, but never to this extent.

"You don't look so great yourself." Rossi said.

I snickered, "I've had worse. I haven't ever had something like this before though." I said as I showed them my left wrist. I managed to stand up and I walked over to Reid, crouching in front of him. I moved his head gently to face his right so I could see the deep cut on his left cheek. He swatted my hand away and glared at me. I laughed at him quietly.

"How the hell are you laughing right now?" He asked me in disbelief, "We're stuck in here and Hotch is dying and any minute now Doyle is going to come back through that door and beat you down again, and you're _laughing_?"

"You've got to learn how to keep yourself going, Reid. If I were just sitting against this wall beside you and waiting in fear for him to come back, then I'd be as good as dead. I wouldn't try to stop him from killing me or hurting anyone else; I'd just let him do whatever he came to do. I need to distract myself to keep myself from falling into little pieces that would be impossible to keep together. Besides, laughing tends to put smiles on other people's faces."

"Can I ask you something that will probably make you the opposite of distracted?" He asked. I sat down in front of him and winced before crossing my legs over and waiting for him to speak. "What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"To have the person who you loved once try to hunt and kill you and all your friends."

I sighed my signature sigh and looked down, "Mentally and emotionally, it's excruciating. Especially since it wasn't a one sided love, it was mutual and that makes it even harder, knowing that once upon time someone loved you and you messed up so bad that they literally want you dead. It kind of makes you question everything you had with them."

"What do you think when you question what you had with him?"

"That it wasn't real," I answered easily. I saw the confusion in his eyes so I went ahead and gave him an explanation, "I knew who he was and what he did. I knew everything about him and I was constantly updated on what he and his men were doing that he wasn't telling me about. He kept secrets from me and tried to keep me oblivious to a lot of things he did, but I also knew that he was doing that to protect me and to keep me with him. The thing is, he had no idea who I was," I shook my head and my eyes watered. I blinked the tears away, "He knew Lauren; he never knew Emily, and let me tell you, they are two _completely_ different people. That's how it wasn't real; he fell in love with a fictional personality, a fictional character…that looks _really_ similar to me."

I smiled at his amused face before I heard the locks turn on the door. My smiled faded slightly but I tried to look careless for Reid. It didn't work at all. "Nice try." He said quietly.

"Yeah, thanks." I nodded and stood up. The door opened and two men with guns walked in, Doyle behind them and the two more men behind him.

"Ah Lauren, you're awake," He smiled at me, "You looked terrible, love." He approached me slowly, although stopping a safe distance in front of me.

"Well, it's your fault, so thanks for that." I tilted my head slightly, looking into his eyes.

"I can make it a whole lot worse if it is what you wish…"

"I'm not fighting you again." I shook my head.

"Why not? I thought it was rather fun." He smirked.

"Uh…because I can't even stand up without wanting to cry?" I wanted him to think that I wasn't scared, so I played it off as well as I could. I tried to keep my voice light and my eyes and expression neutral.

He sighed, "Fine." He turned and looked at the four men behind him, "Just get her and bring her to the next room." He said as he walked back out of the room.

I looked at them, all standing in steady positions and pointing their guns at me. One was close to the door, obviously blocking it from any of us. One of them stepped towards me hesitantly and motioned with his gun for me to walk to the door. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself and I didn't try to fight them this time. I walked to the door without looking at my team again. I heard Garcia sob and Morgan hush her before the door was closed behind me. Two of the men had stayed in there and the other two walked behind me as I moved to the next room. Doyle was waiting for me patiently. He thanked them and they walked out, closing the door behind them.

"What are you going to do to me? Are you going to kill me, Ian?"

"I'll get one of my men to do that for me later; I couldn't possibly myself. Not again," He shook his head, "See Lauren, as much as I hate you, you still mean a lot to me."

I snickered, "That's funny because _you_ mean _nothing_ to _me_."

"You're going to regret saying that, love."


	9. Chapter 9

**Prentiss**

Doyle threw me onto the ground into the room where the team was. My whole body was hurting so much that I couldn't even pull myself up. I lay motionless where I had landed and I heard him laugh to himself quietly as he closed the door. The locks turned and I closed my eyes, trying desperately to keep the tears and the sobs in. I swallowed hard to rid myself of the rising cries and tried to calm myself down by taking a few silent deep breaths.

I heard footsteps approach me from across the room and whoever it was sat down beside me. I would have said JJ, but it wasn't her heeled boots I heard. I felt them move my hair away from my face gently and I opened my eyes to see Rossi in front of me. He gave me a small and comforting smile but he was even more bruised now than he was before.

"They beat you up _again_?" I asked him quietly. My voice was shaky.

He nodded, "And Reid, Will and Morgan."

I bit my lip to keep the sob in, "I'm so sorry."

He shook his head, "This is not your fault, Emily. You need to get some sleep."

I looked at him for a few seconds of silence, "You want me to _sleep_ right now?"

"Or at least pretend that you're asleep, and you need to make it convincing."

"Why?"

"Because those two men that stayed in here after you walked out, they were talking about how Doyle changed the plan they had and they had to kill you soon. Apparently after Doyle returned you here, they'd go and take a break, rest and eat and whatever they do and then they'd come back in in the morning and kill you. But they said that Doyle wants you and the rest of us awake when they shoot you. You need to stay asleep until at least two of us have enough energy to fight back. We're all pretty weak at the moment."

"I can't imagine why…" I joked.

He smiled weakly, "I know you're probably really sore right now, but I need you to move over to that wall with the rest of us. That way we don't have to walk halfway across the room to get to you and be shot in the process."

I nodded and he helped me up. I winced every time I took a step and once I reached the wall, I collapsed back to the ground and closed my eyes as a few tears fell to my cheeks. I wiped them away quickly but Hotch and Rossi, both at my sides, saw them.

"Sleep." Rossi said quietly.

"I don't want to sleep." I shook my head.

"Emily, you look exhausted."

"I am exhausted, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to sleep."

"Please?"

I sighed closed my eyes. After a few minutes, I could sense his eyes still on me. I opened them and looked back at him, "If you want me to go to sleep, you need to stop staring at me."

"How can you sleep sitting up?" Reid asked.

"…I can't…but I'm not lying down."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Leave me alone!" I joked.

"Did you know that humans are the only mammals that willingly delay sleep?"

"Thanks for the interesting information." I looked at Hotch and he smirked at me.

"In 2008, they did a sleep poll in America and—"

"Reid," I cut him off, "Please do not make me hit you. I think you've had enough of that for the next year."

"It's actually not as bad as it looks," I knew he was lying, but he was trying to make me feel better. I smiled at him gratefully and he knew why, "Yeah, that wasn't very convincing, was it?"

"Not even a bit." I shook my head.

Silence fell for a while. JJ was leaning her head on Will's shoulder with her eyes closed. She was exhausted too. Garcia was leaning on Morgan but her eyes were open. I stood up and winced once I reached my feet and my whole body ached when I moved but I couldn't sit still. I needed to walk around or something.

"Hey, you're supposed to be sleeping." Rossi said. I shook my head and continued to pace back and forth in front of them in the middle of the room.

"What happened to that chair again?" Garcia asked, looking at the chair that was broken into four pieces on the ground a few metres in front of her.

"I was thrown through it." I answered her quietly.

"…Oh yeah." She said awkwardly. Morgan laughed at her quietly.

"Just go to sleep, baby girl." He said to her. She dropped her head back to his shoulder and closed her eyes this time. I think JJ was asleep already.

* * *

I still hadn't slept when the rest of the team had. I faked it for a while so that Rossi and Hotch would stop staring at me and I didn't open my eyes or object when something was laid over me. Once I knew they were all asleep, though, I opened my eyes and saw Rossi's jacket over me. I kept it over me in the cold room and lay in silence for hours.

They had all woken up about fifteen minutes ago and I didn't even try to fake waking up. I just handed Rossi his jacket back and thanked him. I paced again for a good ten minutes before I heard the locks on the door.

"Pretend you're asleep," Morgan said quietly to Garcia, "JJ, pretend you're asleep."

I turned around to face the door when I heard it open. Four men walked in ahead of Doyle. He smiled at me when he saw me. "People are looking everywhere for you. There are photos of all eight of you circulating through the news and social media. They sent alerts to other countries."

"Well that is just magnificent." I didn't know what else to say.

"But you know what really amuses me? That not once, have I seen a single thing on Declan." He looked into my eyes with a small smirk and waited for a reaction at his son's name. I straightened my stance slightly but I kept the rage in.

"He asked for Emily's help, although I assume he meant Lauren, after the first stab." He went an extra length to set me off. I snapped and lunged for him, but two men caught me and held me back. "Feisty." He mused.

I started laughing and looked down.

"Or insane…" One of the men behind him said.

"Why on earth are you laughing?" Doyle asked, taking another step towards me.

I looked up at him as I calmed my laughing gradually, "I'm going to kill you, and it's going to be slow and painful, and then I'm going to find every person that you could possibly care about, and I'll kill them too."

He snickered, "I think you went into the wrong profession, love. Imagine what we could have been if you hadn't stayed loyal to Interpol. If you had stayed with me, became a compromised agent, we could have taken this world over."

"You're delusional."

"Can you look me in the eyes and truthfully tell me that you didn't consider betraying your country to stay with me?" He raised his eyebrows at me. I stayed silent, not hinting at whether I did or did not consider it, although my lack of reply probably told them all that I had done that.

I watched him carefully as he moved towards the wall where the team sat. I tried to move to him again, maybe try and pull him away from them, but the two Irishmen were still holding me still. He crouched in front of Reid, "Tell me, what was it like for you to lose someone you loved?"

"What?" Reid looked at him with confused eyes.

"Maeve was murdered right in front of you. That mustn't have been easy to see." He stood back up and looked to me and then back to Reid. Reid looked down but he wouldn't let himself react.

"You son of a bitch." I shook my head.

He walked to Rossi, "What about you? You were with your wife when she died, weren't you?" He looked at Hotch, "Or your wife." He stood and walked over to Will and JJ, "Your father," He said to Will, "And your sister." He looked at JJ. He knew she wasn't asleep. He looked at Garcia, and apparently she was more convincing than JJ, because he didn't bring anything up about her. He looked at Morgan, but he didn't say anything.

Doyle sighed, "Okay, put a bullet between her eyes." He said as he walked towards the door.

"Or you could not be a coward and do it yourself." I said to him before he had the chance to leave. He stopped walking and turned around slowly.

"You should really watch what you say."

"Just do it yourself, you bastard."

"Fine." He stepped forward again and took the handgun of the man standing in front of me. He stood there and held the gun to my head as he pulled the lever down. I stared into his eyes and waited.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Morgan asked quietly.

I ignored him and didn't move my eyes from Doyle's, "What are you waiting for?"

He stood for about 30 seconds in silence before he made a frustrated noise and lowered the gun.

I smirked, "You can't do it."

"Shut up." He spat his words at me.

"How embarrassing is this for you," I shook my head, "You're here, trying to establish your dominance over every soldier you've got working for you and you're trying to scare my team but you can't even shoot _me._ _Me…_ and I ruined your life."

"Just because I won't shoot you, doesn't mean I won't kill you." He said as he took a knife out and pushed the blade up.

"And now it's getting interesting." I nodded.

He smirked at me before he looked out the corner of his eye and threw the knife. Hotch moved his head quickly and the knife was very close to hitting him. I moved towards Doyle quickly and punched him as I lifted my knee into his abdomen. He dropped to his knees, out of breath, and I kicked him hard across the face. I heard a gunshot and saw it hit the wall near me. I went towards the closest gun and lifted it away from me and kneed him in the abdomen a few times before kicking his crotch. I took the gun from his hands and shot him quickly. I dodged another bullet and shot the other three.

"Go!" I yelled at my team as I kicked Doyle back to the ground. Rossi stood up and assisted Hotch, standing at his left side to support his leg. Reid stood up as Morgan and Will pulled JJ and Garcia to their feet.

"Go with Reid." Morgan said to Garcia. She walked to Reid and they both hesitated, but they followed behind Rossi and Hotch.

JJ picked up two guns from the dead men on the ground and ran after them, "Spence, here." I heard her say as they walked quickly down the halls.

I looked at Morgan and Will, "What are you doing? Go."

"We're not leavin' you." Will shook his head.

I went to tell them to go again but I heard gunshots and then JJ yell for the others to run. Then I heard several sets of heavy footsteps running towards the room. I hesitated, "Fine, get the guns."

I kept beating Doyle down for a while as Morgan and Will shot whoever ran through the door. A bullet had hit my left upper arm, so I could only hit with my right one now.

After several sets of men were shot down by the door, I looked down at Doyle and he smirked before throwing a grenade towards the other side of the room. I saw the ring around his finger.

"Run!" Morgan yelled, reacting before I did. Will went to the door and Morgan grabbed my arm, pulling me with him. I winced, it was my left arm. "She's hit." He said to Will as we ran down the hall. Will had closed the door behind us but I heard it open and close quickly as we turned left from the hall.

"Which way do we go?" Will asked.

"This way; we don't have time to decide." Morgan said as he kept pulling me with him towards the left. I heard the explosion behind us; it seemed to take way too long. Could you have grenades that took longer than a few seconds? The roof above us started to crumble.

"What the hell?" I breathed as I saw the ceiling falling in small pieces.

"I think we're underground." Will said.

"Stairs." I pointed to our right.

"Let's take the chance; this place is going to fall in." Morgan said. We ran up the staircase.

"But where are the others?" I asked as we reached the top of the staircase. I looked around at the room that resembled an office that was no longer used for an office workplace. I heard shots to our right.

"That way." Will said as he ran towards the shooting.

"Wait." I shook my arm from Morgan's grip when I saw a grenade on the ground. The pin was still in, so it probably fell from someone's jacket or something. I picked it up and we started towards the shots again.

"Grenade." Morgan held his hand out to me. We had stopped near the doorway where we saw the rest of the team. JJ and Reid were shooting at too many men and Reid's arm was bleeding. The others were behind them.

"Shit!" JJ yelled loudly when she pulled the trigger but nothing came out. She was out of bullets and didn't have more. That meant that Reid would be soon. I took a few shots and hit a few. Will did the same but the both of us ran out of bullets quickly. The men just kept coming from another room. It was like a video game where the opponents just continue to spawn in one place. Reid pulled the trigger a few times before grabbing JJ's arm and pulling her backwards.

"Go." Morgan pushed Will and I towards the team as he hooked his finger in the ring of the grenade. A shot was taken at me and I took a few steps back as two more were taken, all missing me, fortunately. Will grabbed my arm and pulled me with him but let go when I let out a hiss of pain. Stop grabbing my left arm, for gods' sakes! I went to follow Morgan but a hand grabbed me and pulled me back. It was Doyle; how the hell he caught up, I didn't know. The grenade's pin was pulled and it was sitting near Doyle's men. They moved backwards, away from the small ball that would cause all of their deaths. I saw Reid look behind him as the others ran and he saw me.

"Emily!" He yelled.

I knew the grenade was going to explode, so I ran back out of the room and pulled Doyle with me. He was still holding my arm anyway. I left him with his back to the room and looking at me, shielding myself. It exploded and we both fell, him on top of me. It didn't cause as much damage to me as I thought it would. My ears were ringing, my vision blurred and I felt very light headed all of a sudden. My left leg was aching more than it should have been. I pushed Doyle off me and used the wall to help me up. The whole place was falling apart by the second. It must have been old. I ran back into the room where the grenade previously was and ran in the direction the team had disappeared to. I almost fell several times because of my leg, but I kept on my feet the best I could.

I heard a loud crash and stopped, looking behind me. The roof began caving in and some fell dangerously close behind me. I looked up and saw it giving slowly. "Shit." I kept running. I heard another grenade explosion and I assumed my team was near it somewhere. When I went to turn left to the sound, the roof caved in front of me.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed to myself. I turned and ran to the right instead. I ran through the halls and crossed paths with two gunmen. They both aimed at me, "Roof's caving, boys." I said before hitting both guns up and throwing punches and kneeing them wherever my knee struck. I took their guns and tucked one into my waist belt before continuing to run.

I thought I heard another grenade detonate behind me but when I looked, it was just the building falling in. It was happening quickly and it was going to fall on me soon. It was giving out faster than I could run.

I heard a loud screech and cracking sound above me and when I looked up, my eyes widened. I watched it fall towards me and my breath was taken out of me as someone crashed into me and moved me out from underneath the falling ceiling. When I opened my eyes, I saw Morgan standing slowly from the ground beside me, looking at the ruins that sat where I was standing just a second ago. My left leg was killing me now and when I looked at it, I saw a large piece of the heavy ceiling laying on it, almost crushing it.

"Ow…" I breathed quietly. When I looked up, the ceiling above me now was starting to crack too.

"Shit," Morgan said quietly, "Ready?" He asked as he gripped the side of the solid ceiling. He lifted it and it hurt my leg so much more. I pulled it out and cried out as I moved it.

Then, there were more explosions and gunshots, but they were aimed at us this time. When I looked down the hall where I had come from, men stood across the ruins, shooting at us. I saw one pulling a pin to a grenade and Morgan pretty much lifted me up, running away from them. There were flames, explosions and falling pieces everywhere. Where the hell were we? I saw an exit door, but the roof was falling between us and it. There was a large explosion, definitely from a grenade close to us. I blacked out then.


	10. Chapter 10

**JJ**

Tears fell from my eyes as I stood outside the large building with my husband and the majority of my team. Hotch was on the ground, trying to breath enough to stop his reaction and stop us from knowing just how bad his leg was. Spencer's shoulder had been shot and Garcia was looking at it. Rossi crouched by Hotch and I stood beside Will, looking over the building. I was waiting for life, for Emily and Morgan to walk out.

The whole building had just gone up in large flames, burning the whole place down quickly. I cried harder as I felt Will's arms wrap around me.

"JJ, if they didn't get out, then they went down saving us." He said quietly. He knew I didn't want to hear a positive "they'll be okay", "I'm sure they found somewhere to escape the fires and explosions"; I just wanted the truth, not some keep-your-hopes-up lie.

"I can't lose them." I choked out between sobs, shaking my head and burying my face into his chest. He held me as close to him as he could.

"I'll be fine, Penelope." I heard Spencer say behind me quietly. I looked up from Will when I heard the crunch of footsteps on the short, dead grass beneath us. Spencer was walking towards the building.

"Spence! Spence, what are you doing?" I asked as I ran forwards and grabbed his arm; the one that wasn't shot.

He looked at me, "I'm no staying out here and hope they show up. I need to know where they are."

"Spencer, they might not even be alive." I tried my hardest to keep the sob in but my voice dropped when I said it and I was crying again.

"I know, JJ." He assured, tears pooling in his eyes. He turned away from me and looked towards the building, "Do you think it's too dangerous to go in?"

"Yes." I answered without hesitation. That was why I stopped him. He nodded and walked back, dropping to the ground beside Garcia, trying his hardest not to let his tears fall. Garcia was a wreck; she couldn't lose two of her best friends.

"JJ, sit down, you inhaled a lot of smoke." Rossi said quietly. Will pulled me towards the ground with him; sitting on Garcia's other side. Hotch was sitting up now, looking at his own leg and Rossi dropped down from his crouch to sit too. We formed a line, looking at the building.

"Come on." Garcia said quietly, looking over it eagerly.

Minutes passed, too many minutes. I started crying more as I realised that they should have been out by now. Will put his arms around me and kissed my hair, "They're gone." I sobbed into his shoulder.

"I really hope Doyle burnt to death." Garcia said quietly through her tears.

"Garcia—"

"No! He killed them! He did this to us!" She cut Spencer off. I looked up at them now.

"No, look." Spencer pointed towards the building. I followed the direction and saw a tall, built figure in the ashes, smoke and flames. Could it be Morgan?

"Em?" I heard Morgan's voice yell. It was almost like he was pleading. He coughed after it. I stood up from Will's arms and shook him off when he tried to stop me. I ran as fast I could push my aching body as I ran towards Morgan's figure.

"Morgan!?" I yelled as I lost view of him when I reached the flames.

"JJ?" He asked.

"Where are you?"

"I think I'm to your right." He guessed. I stepped further into the rubble and fire and saw him again. I ran to him and threw my arms around him. He caught me and returned the gesture, knowing I really needed it. He coughed again; he had inhaled a lot more smoke than any of us. "She was with me before the big grenade went off and the place fell; now I can't see her."

"Emily?" I called.

"Em!" He looked into the flames around us.

I walked through, stepping on and over pieces of the burning building; walls, ceiling, everything else that lay out here. It was all charred. I saw a body lying motionless half underneath a piece of ceiling. I ran towards it and recognised Emily's hair before I reached her. "Morgan!" I called out to him as I ran to her. I crouched when I got to her and tried to push the heavy material away from her but I wasn't strong enough.

"Is she okay?' He asked, covering his mouth with his elbow to block out some smoke. We were in the middle of flames; it was so hot that I looked at myself a few times to see if I was actually on fire.

"I don't know," I shook my head as I felt for a pulse, "Move this off her?"

He nodded and grabbed it, peeling it back slowly. His inability to do anything without coughing every 5 seconds and the weakness we were all feeling right now put him at a disadvantage but he pulled it up enough for me to pull Emily's body out from underneath.

He dropped it back down and turned when he heard a loud, searing noise. Things were still collapsing, it was still burning and it was still too dangerous for us to be in here. I wasn't strong enough to lift her so Morgan picked her up and I lead the way out from the flames quickly. Will was walking down when he saw us and he ran over. Morgan was coughing a lot now, so Will took Emily from his arms.

I walked with them back towards the team and Morgan let himself collapse to the ground, still coughing as he hit the rough grass. I let myself fall too, coughing but not as much as him. I stopped after a few but he kept going. He breathed in way too much.

Will lay Emily on the ground and checked for a pulse. I saw the worry in his eyes and the anxiety in his posture, both growing every time he moved his fingers slightly, looking for the beat. He leant down and listened to her. He sat back up after a few seconds and looked at me.

"No…" I breathed.

"I can't find a pulse; she isn't breathing."

"No." I sobbed this time. Rossi was beside me now and he put his arm around me comfortingly, pulling me into him. I heard Garcia sobbing behind me and Morgan sniffed. I assumed he was holding her.

Spencer dropped to her side and started CPR immediately. The rest of us watched, Garcia and I crying, the others with tears in their eyes. He gave her mouth-to-mouth CPR and I knew that if she survived this, to which the odds didn't look good, he would be made fun of for this for the rest of his life with us.

It must have been about ten minutes before Reid began to slow down.

"What are you doing? Don't stop; keep trying." Garcia stressed.

"Penelope, I don't think it's working." Morgan said quietly, his voice unsteady.

"No, she's right. Don't stop, Spence. You're supposed to do it for even longer than thirty minutes, aren't you?" I asked.

He nodded and gave her mouth-to-mouth again before pressing his hands in her chest and lifting them. Compressions always looked so easy to me, but now I saw how tired Spencer was getting and I was thinking differently. I don't think I had ever tried to perform CPR before. I knew how to on children in case Henry needed it, but he never did.

Five minutes or so past and I was in Will's arms now. I leaned into him and cried with my head resting on his shoulder. My tears ran from my face to his now saturated shirt. I was exhausted, sore and upset. I wanted Emily to be alive; I wanted to be with Henry, Will and my team, out for dinner or at Rossi's or something. I wanted our lives to be how they were a week ago. Why couldn't Doyle have just died when we thought he did? Why did he have to come back and haunt Emily?

I don't think anyone that I truly loved had died since Rosaline, and now my best friend, the one person in the whole world that I could tell absolutely anything to, was gone, leaving my life. It was hard to breath, my chest was tight and my heart was aching. I felt like it was being ripped from my chest. Someone had shot me through the chest, hit my heart and I had fallen to the ground, my blood rushing out. That was what it felt like. If I lost Emily, I had lost a _huge_ part of myself. I would never be the same old JJ; I would be different, cold and indignant all the time. I couldn't keep working the job I did now. Will and I would hit massive rough patches in our marriage, Henry would grow up with a mother who loved him so much, but he mightn't know it. I couldn't lose her. I would lose myself.

Another five minutes and I closed my eyes as I kept crying. It had been twenty minutes and nothing was different with her, except her hand was in mine and it felt colder by the second. I was about to tell Spencer to stop; I was almost certain he'd broke her ribs by now. He was trying his hardest but his strength was diminishing and his shoulder must have been killing him. I opened my eyes and looked at her one more time before moving my eyes to Spencer. I went to speak, but I heard the cough before a word left my mouth.

My eyes shot back to my best friend; the brunette that I wouldn't have survived without. Her eyes we still closed, but she was coughing. She was breathing. Spencer sat back with relief in his eyes. He rolled her onto her right side, the one that didn't have the bullet wound in her arm, and she continued to cough for a short while before her eyes opened and she was breathing normally again.

"You did it, Reid." Hotch said quietly, looking proudly at the doctor.

He nodded, "About 90 per cent of out-of-hospital CPR attempts are unsuccessful. I didn't think it'd work…"

I stood up and ran around Emily. I dived into Spencer, careful of his shoulder, and we both fell backwards as I hugged him. "Thank you." I whispered to him. I felt him smile against my cheek and I sat back up, pulling him back up too so he didn't have to hurt his shoulder. This was all going to work out.

* * *

Someone had seen the fire at the old building we had been in after a while and they called the police and firemen. We were saved and safe. I received an exam in the hospital and all of my bruises, cuts and injuries were examined closely. I was told that I'd be okay, but I need a lot of rest. The whole team was looked over, but the three of us women were the worst, considering we were all raped. Hotch had a blood transfusion and he was going to be completely fine. Spencer was okay, his shoulder would heal quickly.

Emily was the worst of everyone. After a long argument with a nurse, she gave in and agreed to have the rape kit exam done. She didn't want to, she claimed she was fine, but the nurses kept at her. Rossi and Spencer did too. Only two ribs were crushed from the CPR. She had quite a few injuries, considering what Doyle had put her through and then after getting stuck underneath heavy ceiling, but the nurses wouldn't tell us anything and she assured us that she'd be fine. That she _was_ fine, to which we knew she wasn't.

Nurses had moved the three of us into the same room. We figured it'd be easier on the others if they wanted to see us and it'd be more entertaining for us; we didn't know how long we'd be here. Hotch was apparently allowed to walk on his leg with assistance and only for a short while to get from here to there, but I doubted that was what the nurses had really told him.

I couldn't sleep, but Emily and Garcia were both out. After the nurses heard with detail about the trauma the team went through, they didn't make anyone stick to the visiting times as long as we didn't disturb any other patients or someone of our team if they were sleeping or needed some space, so I texted Will and asked where he was. He replied within seconds, saying he was just down the hall and talking to someone about Jack and Henry.

I waited about five minutes before he came back in and sat down beside my bed. "I talked to Hotch not long ago and he gave me the number to organise them to come back so he could get some rest," He whispered to me quietly, "They'll be on an early flight tomorrow. Apparently not one strange thing happened there. As far as the guy that was watching them knew, no one was really in Denmark and watching or after them."

"It could have just been something Doyle said to save himself, scare Emily off him."

He nodded in agreement and we both looked over to the sleep beauty. "How do you think she'll hold up?" He asked as he played with my hand mindlessly.

I shook my head "I don't know, but probably not well. She didn't do too well last time as a result of Doyle, but maybe if we're around and there to support her and for her to see that we're all okay, she might do better this time around. I just hope she doesn't close herself off from us again. She was just starting to trust the whole team with a lot more than she used to, but I think she'll stop that again."

"You're going to have to build that back up with her. She won't be able to go it alone."

I nodded, "We'll do whatever we can. We always do." I looked back at him and he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I returned it and smile at him, "I love you."

"I love you too, darlin'," he said quietly, "I'm so glad you're okay." He caressed my cheek with his hand softly. I put my hand over his and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you for coming back when I need you to."

He smiled, "Always. Now you should get some sleep." He kissed my forehead and sat back in the chair, leaving his hand linked with mine as he looked down at his phone. I closed my eyes and seemed to fall asleep easier with him nearby.


	11. Chapter 11

**Prentiss**

A week passed and I was still in a hospital bed, hating every second of it. Hotch was walking again, although using a crutch unwillingly when he did. He sat down a lot so no one would really see him with it. Garcia and JJ were allowed to leave if they wanted to, although they had to take it easy. I was sure that when they were allowed to go, I'd be left alone in the days here until I was allowed to leave too, but not one person from my team left my side for a long period of time. Henry and Jack were back with us and safe, thankfully. I had slept a lot, since it was the only thing I _could_ do.

I woke this morning and heard the familiar whispers of my team. I smiled to myself but I didn't open my eyes yet.

"Hey princess." I heard Morgan say quietly. I felt a weight on the bed beside me and an arm across me. I opened my eyes and saw JJ asleep with me. I smiled to myself wider.

"Yeah, she's been there all night," Will said, "She was tired but she wouldn't leave you so there she is."

I looked back down to her and tapped her arm. She opened her eyes and tilted her head upwards to look at me. She smiled as my eyes met hers and it caused me to. The team and I laughed as she put her head back down and closed her eyes back over. After a few minutes, she sat up quickly. "I need coffee. Do you want—of course you do, why am I even asking?"

I smiled and she walked out with Will and Reid behind her. I saw Hotch look at Morgan, Rossi and Garcia and the three of them walked out of the room. Garcia smiled at me and waved before they left. I looked at Hotch suspiciously.

He stood up and walked over slowly, trying to keep the weight off his left leg as much as he could. He didn't use the crutch beside him like he should have been. He sat down in the chair beside my bed.

"I think you're supposed to use the crutch…" I said quietly.

"I don't need the crutch." He shook my concern off. I decided not to argue with him over something like that. He should have been using it, but if he didn't want to, no one would be able to make him.

"So I'm assuming you want to talk to me about something." I looked down at my hands as I picked at one of my nails. I saw myself doing it but I couldn't stop myself for some reason. Hotch's hand went over mine to stop me and he kept a hold of my right one softly. I looked to his eyes to get a hint of what he was feeling right now. I saw nothing in the mask he always had on, like always.

"They searched the building a few days ago," he started, "There were _a lot_ of bodies, so it took a few days to identify them. He's dead, Prentiss."

I closed my eyes as they filled with tears in attempt to stop them falling, but it only pushed them down to my cheeks. I took a deep breath to control myself. I didn't know whether that report made me relieved or upset. I think it was both. I turned my head away from him so he wouldn't see the tears on my cheeks, but I felt his finger under my chin and he turned my head back to look at him gently, "Prentiss, I'm here to support you, not judge you. I understand that people in our past always hold something in our hearts; the trick is to not let it overcome you. You grieve for a while, but then you need to move on. You don't forget about it, but you don't let it affect your life and decisions."

I nodded but I didn't say anything.

"And you know what you definitely can't do after what just happened to us?" He asked. I looked back at him and waited for him to continue, "You can't close yourself off from the team again. It may not seem like it right now, but you went through a lot, Emily. You need to trust the team and let us help and support you." He spoke as if he knew for certain that I wouldn't trust them anymore. I didn't know whether I did or not; I didn't have anything to trust them with right now. "In saying that, how are you feeling?"

"In general or about Doyle?" I asked quietly.

"Both."

I looked down at my hand in his and bit my lip, "Well, I think I'm both relieved and upset about Doyle…and in general, physically, my whole body is aching non-stop and mentally, even worse."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now." I shook my head.

"Well let me know when you do, okay?"

I smiled at him, "Okay. Thanks Hotch."

"On another note, why did you never tell any of us that you're supposed to wear glasses when you're reading? And why don't you wear them at work?" He asked.

"How did you know about that?"

"The nurse asked if you had glasses with you. Apparently it's important enough to have in your file which means it's important enough that I should have known."

I rolled my eyes, "You weren't supposed to know that. I don't wear them."

"Why not?"

"Because I hate them…I don't even know where my pair went."

"Prentiss, if you're prescribed glasses, you need to wear them." He raised his eyebrows.

"I read fine." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, you're going to have to wear them back to work."

"I figured," I said quietly, laying my head back on the pillow, "So, how are you?"

"I'm fine."

"I meant your leg."

"I know."

"You should be using the crutch, Hotch."

"I don't need to; I can walk without it."

"If you use the crutch, I'll wear my glasses."

"But I look ridiculous when I walk on it."

"And I look ridiculous with glasses on." I laughed at the stupidity of this argument.

"I don't think you'd look bad with them at all. You never do." He said quietly.

I didn't really know how to reply to that. It made me smile, how awkwardly he said it. I was saved by JJ as she walked back in with Will and Reid still behind her. The other three were behind them. JJ handed me a coffee and Reid gave one to Hotch. "Thanks." I said quietly to them before looking back to Hotch. He stood up and walked towards the door.

"I'm going to see Jack; I'll be back soon." He said as he left.

The smile on my face lingered and I tried to force it away. I snickered to myself quietly and shook my head, sipping the coffee. The team looked at me suspiciously but I brushed them off.

* * *

Another few days past. It was my second week in the hospital now and I was bored out of my mind. JJ, Hotch and Will were going between here and home to see me and their sons, Reid was leaving twice a day, although no one knew where he was going. Morgan, Garcia and Rossi claimed they had nowhere to be so they were always with me.

Morgan and Garcia had gone to get something to eat and probably some real coffee from somewhere, so it was just Rossi and I at the moment.

"So, I heard you were supposed to be wearing glasses for the past five years." He said as he sat down in the chair beside the hospital bed I was stuck in.

"Hotch told you that?"

He nodded, "He told the whole team that. We questioned what the two of you were talking about before we came in with coffee that had him leaving so quickly the other day. He said it was about you having to wear glasses."

I bit my lip.

"You were _actually_ arguing about glasses?"

"Not exactly…and we weren't arguing."

"Well he's still acting kind of different, so what were you talking about?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, "He just said something and then he regretted saying what he did."

"But what did he say?"

"Why does it matter, Rossi?"

"He just seems a little off; uncomfortable almost." He shrugged his shoulders. I sighed and looked away from Rossi. I saw him raise his eyebrows out the corner of my eye. "So, something happened between the two of you and he should feel uncomfortable?"

"He just complimented me…kind of…and I never replied."

He was smiling after hearing that, "Aaron complimented you?"

"Why are you smiling like that?" I shook my head.

He stood up and laughed to himself lightly as he walked towards the other side of the room. Hotch walked in and greeted him with a nod. "I knew there was something going on." Rossi smirked, looking from Hotch to me and then walking towards the door.

"There is nothing "going on"!" I called after him. I heard him laughing in the hall, "Rossi!" I got my phone out and dialled his number. I held it to my ear and waited for him to answer.

"Yes?"

"There is nothing going on," I said to him quickly, "I don't even know what that is supposed to mean."

"I think you do." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Rossi, there is _nothing_ going on!"

"You're getting defensive." He laughed.

"I am not getting defensive."

"I'll be back soon. I'll leave you and Aaron to it. Just remember, you work together and he is your boss."

"Why are you doing this?" I made a fake crying sound.

"Bye." He hung up before I could speak again. I dropped my phone to my side and shook my head.

Hotch looked at me questioningly, "What was that about?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, "But are you okay? Because he thinks you're acting weird compared to normal."

"I'm fine." He answered too quickly. I knew something was up with him, but I wouldn't pry. If he wanted to tell me, he would. He obviously doesn't.

"Have you talked to a nurse today?"

"…No, why? Is something wrong?" He walked over towards me and looked over me briefly. He sat down in the chair and looked into my eyes, looking for something to hint to him what was wrong. He looked overly worried.

"No, I'm fine…as far as I know, anyway. I was just wondering if they gave you an estimation of how much longer I would be here because I'm going to kill myself soon."

"Don't say that." He shook his head.

"I'm bored." I complained.

"Would you like me to go to your apartment and get you some form of entertainment?"

I didn't really want Hotch wandering around my apartment, and he would no doubt look into how I lived, profile my space to learn more about me, "No, it's okay. Thanks for offering." I smiled.

"Let me know if you change your mind," He had two coffees in his hand and he handed me one, "Coffee."

I took it very willingly, "Thank you," I drank it and sighed, "Real coffee. So, how's Jack going?"

"I hadn't told him why he and Henry were leaving, but I figured he was old enough to know at least the basics so I vaguely told him about what happened. He looked terrified until I assured him that Doyle was de—gone," He changed it from 'dead' to 'gone' so it would be easier for me to hear, "And he's okay now. He hopes you'll be okay."

I smiled, "He's sweet."

We drank the coffee and talked for a while before Morgan and Garcia returned. Reid was with them and he brought me three different books. I wasn't sure whether he forgot that no one reads as fast as him or he just wanted to give me options. Rossi came back not long after them and JJ and Will were a few minutes behind him. We sat in the room as a team for hours, talking and laughing. They all did their best to distract me from where I was and why I was there.


	12. Chapter 12

**Prentiss**

At the end of the second week, I was discharged from hospital and was allowed to return home, as long as I ensured to take it easy and get a lot of rest. Of course, Hotch wouldn't let me go by myself. He walked a step behind me as I walked up the stairs towards my apartment and I knew he was waiting for me to fall or something that would require his assistance.

"Hotch, I'll be okay." I said as I reached the door. I got the key out of my bag that JJ had brought to the hospital for me and I unlocked the door. He had paid for someone to come and put new locks in.

"Last time you told me that, you were kidnapped."

"So were you." I rolled my eyes.

"It wasn't as serious for me, Prentiss. Yeah, so I was stabbed in the leg. I'm fine now."

"You limp when you walk."

"Well it still hurts, but it'll be okay, and it's only physical. On top of your physical injuries, you also have mental and emotional ones."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just sighed and opened the front door. I motioned for him to go in and I closed the door behind us. I expected it to still be a bit messy downstairs, and the upstairs would be even worse, but it was spotless. There were new frames and small fake plants and decorations all around. It was darker colours, not light like Garcia would have decorated it with. It was neat and looked better than it did even before it was ransacked.

"Who did this?" I asked Hotch as I put my bag where I always did.

"Reid, JJ, Will, Henry, Jack and I. We didn't really want Garcia to bring much of her colour in, but she bought a few decent things to brighten it up a bit. Morgan and Rossi threw in a lot of money but they let us do it all."

"Why?" I turned and looked at my boss. I had tears in my eyes but I didn't let them fall. It was just so nice.

A ghost of a smile hinted at his lips, "We wanted to do something nice for you, especially since the only thing that got us out of there was you. We didn't know what to do, considering you were stuck in the hospital, so we bought new things and cleaned it up. The upstairs is spotless too. Also, I don't know why, but JJ bought you a new bed."

I laughed to myself quietly and nodded, "She hated my other one. I bet she was elated to be able to get another one," I looked at him again, "Thank you for all of this."

He nodded in return of my thanks and sat down on the couch, "You probably should get some sleep."

"Please tell me you're not going to stay on my couch."

"I am."

"Where's Jack?"

"He's with Jessica tonight."

I sighed. I knew I wasn't going to win this argument; he had so many more reasons to stay than I had for him not to. I looked at the couch; it wasn't the most comfortable of places to sleep, "Fine, but use the spare room, not the living room." I rolled my eyes.

He stood up and walked around to the kitchen. I got my phone from my bag and followed him to the kitchen, starting to fill Sergio's food dish. Rossi had brought him over this morning for me. I put the cat food down where I always did and called for him. I filled the small water dish too and sat it down beside the food one. When I looked back towards Hotch, he held a glass of water out to me, "Drink."

I took it from him; I hadn't been drinking a lot at the hospital, so they had to leave the drip on the whole time I was there. "Thanks." I said quietly.

I sipped it and looked at Sergio as he ate. I thought about how tonight would go. The nights in the hospital were okay; I was able to fall asleep relatively easily, but only when someone was with me. The last few nights I had there, I was alone at night, and I could never fall asleep. When I did, I had nightmares and woke up in cold sweats. Would I be able to sleep soundly tonight with Hotch in the next room or would it still be hard, not having someone actually watching over me protectively? If I did sleep well with him here, what would I do tomorrow night when he wasn't? Maybe I would call Garcia or Reid; maybe even Morgan or Rossi, but I'd let Hotch return to his son and I'd leave JJ with hers.

I finished the water and put the cup down, still thinking about what I would do. I didn't notice how long it had been that I had been standing almost motionless, staring at one spot on the counter with a blank expression.

"Prentiss, are you okay?" Hotch asked quietly.

His voice pulled me back to reality and I looked at him, "What? Yeah, I'm fine."

"You looked a little distracted there…"

"Uh…yeah, I was just thinking about something."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked at him and smiled appreciatively, "Not tonight, thanks though."

"You know, if you keep delaying it every time I ask if you want to talk about what's bothering you, it's all going to build up and overwhelm you."

"This is the second time."

"It's the fifth." He said matter-of-factly.

"…Really?" I asked. He nodded in confirmation. "Well, maybe I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Maybe? How about we make a deal, you tell me tomorrow."

"And?"

"That's it. You tell me tomorrow and I try to help you."

"I don't think that's a deal…" I shook my head.

"Just go upstairs and get some rest." He rolled his eyes.

I nodded and took my phone upstairs with me, "Please sleep in the spare room, not on the couch." I reminded as I walked up the staircase. I heard his quiet and rare laugh as I paced the stairs slowly. I eventually reached my room and saw the new bed that JJ had brought. I'll admit, it was nicer than my last one. I plugged my phone in and got changed into comfier clothes with some difficulty before finally sliding under the covers. I turned the lamp out and closed my eyes.

* * *

I woke in the late morning, just past eleven. I lay in silence for a few minutes before I pushed myself up. I winced and my hand went over my ribs as I stood from the bed. My left leg was stiff and slightly sore as I walked on it, so I limped slightly as I walked across the room. I took my bathrobe from behind the door and walked down the hall to the bathroom. I had a quick shower and returned to my room, looking for something to put on. I was obviously going to wear causal, seeing as I wouldn't be at work for a while, but for some reason, my eyes kept looking for flattering. It was just Hotch here, why did that matter to me? I eventually slipped on a pair of tight jeans and a shirt that purposefully fell off my shoulders. It was what I was looking for, casual, and what the rest of me was looking for, flattering.

I unplugged my phone and saw JJ's text asking if everything went okay. I texted her back and said all was fine and told her that Hotch had stayed in the spare room just in case. I walked downstairs slowly and eventually reached the bottom. The couch didn't look like anyone had slept on it last night, so that was good; he had actually listened to me. I heard a spoon stirring in the kitchen and walked over to see Hotch making two coffees.

"Sleep well?" He asked as he looked up at me and walked around the kitchen, sitting at the dining table across from where I was sitting. I moved carefully so I didn't hurt myself too much. He slid a mug across the table to me and I thanked him when I took it.

"I did," I nodded, "You?"

"I did too." He said as he drank the coffee. I saw Sergio walk towards the table, but instead of me, he jumped up to Hotch's lap. He smirked at me as my mouth dropped open.

"He normally sits on _me_ every morning."

Hotch laughed as he petted his head, "I can't help that he likes me better."

"I feel so betrayed…" I joked. My phone sounded and I looked at JJ's text.

" _Hotch stayed with you? What about Jack? He's who I'd least expect to offer his company…"_

I smiled to myself and texted her back, _"I know right? Jack was with Jessica last night. It was kind of weird to come downstairs this morning and see him making coffee in my kitchen."_

I put my phone back down and sipped the coffee. I looked at Hotch when I sensed his eyes on me. "What?"

"Who was that?"

"JJ." I answered without hesitation.

"What did she say to have you smiling like that?"

"Like what?"

"So adoringly. You looked like you were talking to a beloved boyfriend."

"Or a beloved JJ." I laughed. I didn't know what he was talking about; it just felt like a genuine smile to me.

"So, what was it last night that was bothering you?"

"Ah, you're staying with the deal that isn't _really_ a deal but you called it a deal to make it seem fairer to me?"

"Yes." He nodded.

I snickered, "I was just thinking about what I was going to do tonight. I hadn't told anyone, but when I was in the hospital, I almost always had at least one of you around at all times, so I slept fine, but the last few night there, I was alone and I couldn't really fall asleep and when I did, I woke with nightmares and cold sweats several times throughout the night. Last night I was okay, I guess because you were in the next room, but I'm not too sure how I'll go tonight."

"Would you like me to stay tonight as well?" He offered.

I shook my head, "No, you should go to your house and see Jack and go back to how your life was before all this mess."

"Okay, so were the dreams about Doyle?"

I nodded, "I don't even remember the majority of them, I just remember Doyle and a few of his men and then waking up and looking around for either one of them to kill me or one of you to calm my down. Both of which never happened so I had to calm myself down."

"So you dream about them hunting you again?" He asked. I nodded in affirmation. "Why do you think that is?"

I shook my head, "I don't know, maybe because it's been kind of hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of him actually being dead. Before, when we thought he was, I always had this sick feeling every time I thought about him, like something wasn't right. I guess it was my gut telling me that he was alive and he was coming for us. Now when I think about him, I don't feel anything. I don't feel sick, pained or relieved. I feel numb whenever I think about it."

"Numb? Like something inside of you didn't want him dead? Maybe you still loved him deep down?"

I shook my head, "If I still loved him, I wouldn't have let Morgan pull me out of that room and leave him in there with the grenade. I wouldn't have thrown that first punch when he stabbed you. I wouldn't have told him to kill me when he held the gun to my head or when he took me to the other room; I would have begged him to let me live. I wanted him dead, I think it's just because it's finally over, and the issue had been present for so long, that my body isn't used to the feeling of being free from him. Even when I thought he was dead before, I never fully believed it."

"You possibly got less confirmation of his death this time around than last time. What makes you so much more assured of this time?"

I looked at him, "I guess because you told me. Last time, I just saw the blood and the wound and then the paramedics took him and one told me he died. This time, _you_ were able to tell me and you were confident when you did. I trust you more than I trust some paramedic who was in with him the whole time anyway."

"And do you think that the trust you have in the team and I will stand or will it be lost after this?"

"It won't be lost," I shook my head, "But if I'm being honest with you here, I'll probably start to keep a lot more things from you guys, just to ensure your safety more than anything else."

"If you can bring yourself to, I want you to try and keep trusting us with everything. Emily, what you keep from us to ensure our safety, jeopardises you own."

"I know that." I nodded.

"So why would you risk us losing you rather than letting us help you and keep you around if another dangerous situation were to occur?"

I looked at the coffee as I thought about it. If another situation that was anything like this did come about again, I wouldn't want to tell the team; I would want to keep them as distant from it as possible, but maybe that wouldn't be the best option. Maybe the best option for me would be to stay close to them now, keep trusting them like I did before Doyle returned so that if something else ever did rise, I would be confident in trusting them with that too. We needed ultimate professional trust for us to function as a team, but did we ever have full personal trust? Outside of work, did I trust them with anything and everything? If I needed to, did I feel okay with going to any one of the members of my team with a personal problem? I would see JJ, maybe Garcia, possibly Rossi or maybe even Reid, but Morgan and Hotch weren't really who I'd go to first. I never knew how much I could trust with Morgan because I never really tried, and now that I think of it, maybe I did trust Hotch, considering all that I was telling him now with little hesitation.


	13. Chapter 13

**Prentiss**

I lay restless in bed. It was past midnight and I hadn't gotten any sleep yet, not even a few minutes. I couldn't fall asleep and even if I could, I knew I'd wake up to nightmares before long. I had picked up my phone several times and contemplated texting someone for company, but I assumed they'd all be asleep.

I couldn't stay lying in the darkness like this, staring at the blackness which was the ceiling. I pulled myself up and got changed slowly to not hurt myself too much and I walked out of my apartment, grabbing my coat and keys on the way out. I walked downstairs in the building and out into the cold, crisp air. I pulled my coat tighter around me and walked around the streets. My phone was in my hand and my keys made quiet jingling noises every so often when I stepped, but other than that, the night was silent.

I sat down on a park bench for a while, looking over the deserted streets. I did live in a rather quiet place, but I never expected it to be _this_ quiet. I have been out this late before and there were a few people that I had passed on the paths, but there wasn't another person in sight tonight. My phone rang after a few minutes. I looked at the time, 2:09, before looking at the caller's ID. I accepted it and held the phone to my ear, "Hotch?"

"Hey." He said quietly from his end.

"It's two o'clock in the morning, has something happened?"

"No, everything's fine. Sorry if I woke you."

"No, I was already awake."

"Why?"

"I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk. The streets are really quiet tonight."

"You're out in the streets at this kind of time in DC? It's not exactly the safest place…"

"I live in a relatively safe area." I defended.

"Please go home? And keep me on the phone while you walk there?"

"Hotch, it's okay," I smiled to myself, "So why are you awake and calling?"

"I'm awake because I couldn't fall asleep, and I'm calling to see if you were able to."

"But if I was asleep, your call probably would have woken me up."

"Are you kidding? If I need to wake you up for an emergency case or something, it takes me five calls before you answer."

I laughed, "Yeah, okay, you're right." He changed the subject and we talked for a while. I didn't mind the call or the conversation; it was comforting, actually. It made me feel like I wasn't alone tonight. I guessed he was just bored and had nothing else to do.

Eventually, the conversation came back to my location. "Are you walking right now?" He asked.

"Yeah, I have been for like five minutes."

"Are you finally going home?"

"No, I'm getting further away from it."

"Why?"

"I can't go back to my apartment. It's dark and lonely and I can't sleep anyway."

"You could have called me earlier; I would have dropped Jack back at Jessica's and came back over…"

"No, I didn't want you to have to do that. You don't see him very often anymore; you need your time with him."

"I think another night would have been fine."

"You don't need to give up your family life so that I can fall asleep. I will eventually."

"Well where are you right now?"

"I am…two blocks from your place, actually." I said as I looked at the street sign on the corner I was standing on. It was a long while from my place; we didn't live close to each other at all. How long had I been walking? I looked at my watch underneath the streetlight, 2:57. Had we been talking that long? Had I really been walking this long?

"You walked _that_ far!?"

"Well, I just kept going." I said guiltily.

He sighed, "You need to rest, Prentiss. Come over and you can stay here tonight."

"No, it's okay."

"Prentiss, I am forcefully telling you to come here."

I sighed and looked around, "But—"

"Don't make me get in the car and come and get you. I'm sure it wouldn't look good for us if I had to force you into my car." He cut me off.

"Okay." I rolled my eyes.

"And straight here please; no detour or dawdling."

I groaned, "You know, I could just keep walking around. It isn't so bad."

"I'll see you soon." He said, ignoring my comment.

"Fine." I sighed. I hung up the call and started towards his place.

I reached Hotch's house and got my phone out to text him that I was here. I didn't want to knock and risk waking Jack. When I found his contact and our previous messages, I heard the lock and the front door opened. He stepped to the side and motioned for me to come inside. I locked my phone and slipped it back into my pocket as I stepped inside. I should have argued with him and gone back to my own apartment, but I just didn't have the energy.

"You look exhausted." He said quietly, closing the door behind me. He turned the lock and I looked in the small mirror hanging on the wall near the entrance. I didn't feel as bad as I looked.

"I look worse than I am." I admitted.

"Well I was going to offer to have coffee and talk, but now I'm just going to make you go to bed." He motioned for me to follow him and walked out of the small foyer. The house was generally neat, except the coffee table, dining table and a desk in the corner were filled with papers. The ones on the desk were Jack's though, not Hotch's. The rest appeared to be Hotch's. Paperwork, mostly. I followed him upstairs and he opened a door and walked in, turning the light on as he did.

"You really didn't have to do this." I said quietly.

"I'd rather you were actually able to sleep," He replied, "Hold on." He walked out of the room quickly. I looked around; the furniture looked relatively expensive. The type of furniture, it seemed like Haley's taste. It just didn't seem right to me, sleeping in a room full of the things Haley owned previously. Hotch returned and handed me a shirt, "I know, kind of uncomfortable, but if you want something else to sleep in."

I took it from him, "Thanks."

He nodded, "Call me if you need anything, but please try and get some sleep."

I nodded in return and he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I stood still for a few minutes, looking around the room and then at the shirt. I decided that sleeping in Hotch's shirt would be better than sleeping in what I was wearing right now. I took my coat off and slipped my shirt off, putting his shirt on. I hadn't forgotten the warmth that came with wearing a male's shirt to bed. For me, the warmth usually was of love and happiness, the feeling that I was being cared for, but it felt different this time. It felt…better? No, it couldn't. It wouldn't.

I turned the lamp on beside the bed and turned the ceiling light out. I lay down underneath the blanket and turned the lamp back out. I lay for what felt like forever before I finally drifted off to sleep.

* * *

I woke up in the late morning. I lay in silence for a few minutes, thinking about what possibly happened to make me give in to staying at _Hotch's_ place. I got up, got dressed and ran my fingers through my hair to neaten it. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath. I could hear Jack's laughter downstairs, mixed with Hotch's…and…was that Rossi? My head was pounding for an unknown reason. I wondered if Hotch would just let me walk home now without a word. I'd just have to suck it up and get through the morning. I opened the door quietly and walked downstairs quietly. I saw Jack standing with his back to me in the archway to the dining room. I reached the bottom of the staircase and my heel on my boot clipped on the floorboards. Jack turned around and smiled at me.

"Good morning Emily. Are you okay after last night?"

"…Yeah, I'm fine," I was a bit confused on what he thought happened last night, "Thanks."

He nodded.

"Jack, why don't you go watch some TV?" Hotch asked him. He nodded and walked to the next room. I stood leaning against the archway.

"What'd you tell him?" I asked Hotch.

"That you came to stay over here for reasons that didn't concern him." Hotch said as he handed me a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," I took it, "So why is he asking if I'm okay?"

"I would like to know why you just came downstairs after sleeping here, first," Rossi said with a surprised look in his eyes, "I mean, I knew something was going on between you but I didn't know it was this far…"

"…What?" I asked him in confusion.

"Yeah…what?" Hotch looked at him.

"Do you want me to pretend that I don't know that you're sleeping together?"

"Oh my god…" I said quietly, looking down.

"We're not sleeping together." Hotch shook his head.

"Then why are you here?" Rossi looked at me.

"I can't sleep in a house by myself so I was walking around past midnight last night and Hotch called me and then he told me to come here so that I could get some sleep."

"…Well okay then." Rossi looked down at his own coffee.

"Anyway..." I looked back to Hotch, trying to erase that small conversation from my memories, "Why did Jack if I was okay after last night?"

"…Do you not remember last night?" His eyebrows furrowed. I shook my head in reply. "Well, you woke up to a nightmare in screams."

I groaned, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," He brushed my apology off, "You can stay with us for as long as you want to, okay?"

"No, I have to go home and feed Sergio and…I don't know…watch a few TV series?"

"That's what you do when you're not working?" Rossi asked.

"I don't have a life," I shrugged my shoulders, "I can't do anything anyway. Sometimes I contemplate adopting a child just for something to do, but then I remember that I would have to, like…see it…all the time, and I just don't know if I have that in me."

They both laughed at me. "Well you're more than welcome to take Jack sometimes if you want." Hotch joked.

"Oh yeah, I'll just text you and be like "hey, I'm bored and I finished watching Pretty Little Liars again, I need to borrow Jack" and then I'd just come pick him up for the night."

"Finish Pretty Little Liars… _again?_ " Rossi smirked.

"I've lost count of the times…but I need to go home, so…thanks for letting me stay." I drank back the rest of the coffee and rinsed the cup out. I said goodbye to them and kissed Jack's hair as I walked past him towards the door. I walked out as Hotch tried to stop me from leaving but I was already walking down the path at the front of the house.

"Prentiss!" He yelled out to me. I stopped at the gate at the end of his front lawn and turned back around, "Come back inside and talk to us."

"I can't, I have an appointment today and I need to go home and get ready."

"Appointment?" He asked as he walked down the path to me, "What appointment?"

"…Just an appointment of sorts that I need to attend."

"It's a therapist, isn't it?" He asked quietly.

"Yep." I answered quickly.

He smiled at me, "Well I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. I had to force Garcia into booking an appointment for her…and Morgan, and JJ, and Reid…and Rossi…"

"So, everyone?"

"No, Will accepted my suggestion and went to see someone. You're doing it on your own."

"I'm doing it under doctors' orders, but sure," I nodded, "And are you seeing someone?"

"I don't need to." He shook his head.

I gave him an obvious look, "Hotch, come on." He shook his head and I rolled my eyes, "You can't just expect everyone else to go and you not go yourself, even just one session. You're taking care of us but you're not taking care of yourself."

He looked away, "I'll go to one appointment. When they ask what brought me there, I'll say you."

I smiled and nodded, "You do that. Bye." I turned and walked through the gate. He didn't try to stop me this time. He watched me walk up the street for a short while before he turned and went back inside.

I went home, had a shower, got dressed into fresh clothing, tied my hair up and put a minimal amount of makeup on before going out to my car and driving to my therapist appointment. I took a deep breath and got out of the car, walking in and forcing myself to keep going and not turn around. _You need this and you know it. It's not cowardice. You're allowed to see someone about this._


	14. Chapter 14

**Prentiss**

Weeks passed and my first day back at work was tomorrow. The others had already returned about two weeks ago and they were called to a case a few days ago. Jessica was out of town, so I offered to watch Jack for Hotch. Staying at Hotch's place for a few nights without him here felt a little weird to me and it was even worse when Jack would go to school and I was left here by myself. I'd just gone back to my apartment or the gym or something before I needed to pick him up.

I hung up the call with Hotch and walked back to the dining room where Jack was doing his math homework. "That was your dad; he's on his way home now."

"Does that mean you have to leave?" He frowned at me.

"I'll go back to my apartment." I nodded.

"But I like having you around."

I sat down beside him in the chair I had pulled over from the dining table before when I was helping him, "I'll still see you, Jack. I'll come and visit and I'll see you when you come with your dad to the team outings we have. I'm sure you're sick of me by now."

He shook his head, "My dad said you could stay here for as long as you want to. You can still stay with us." His eyes looked hopeful.

"I don't think your dad _really_ wants me around that often, but thank you for offering, Jack." I smiled at him. I stood up and put the chair back under the table where it usually sat. I walked to the kitchen and began cleaning the dishes we had used tonight.

A short while of silence passed before he spoke again, "He likes you, you know."

I stopped cleaning and looked to the side, "What was that?"

"My dad…he likes you. Like, a lot. Whenever he picks me up from Aunt Jessica's house, she asks him how work was. He will tell her about it a bit and then he'll talk a small amount about the team and then he will talk a lot about you. When we go to the shop and he sees the flowers and looks at the red roses. When I ask him what he's doing, he says that he's thinking about buying them for you, but then he never does."

I didn't know what to say. I dried my hands and turned, looking at the boy in silence, waiting for him to continue.

"Aunt Jessica thinks he likes you too. She always says to me, "Jack, if dad ever comes home with Emily, let me know because they would be great together" after he talks about you a lot. One time, I saw him looking at a photo of the team and I sat down next to him. I looked at the photo and he asked me who I thought was the prettiest out of you, JJ and Garcia. I said you were all pretty, but he said he thought you were beautiful. When you text him, he gets really happy. When we go out for dinners, I always see him looking at you the most."

I heard the front door open and I looked back at Jack. I held my finger to my lips, "Don't tell him about this conversation, okay?"

He nodded and stood up as Hotch called out to him, saying he was home.

"Dining!" I called back so he'd know where we were. I turned back around and began putting the cleaned and dried dishes back in their rightful places. I heard him walk in and I took a silent deep breath.

"Hey dad." I could hear the smile in Jack's voice. Not matter how many times Hotch went away, his son would always miss him the same.

"Hey buddy, hey Prentiss." Hotch greeted me.

"Hey," I turned around, "How'd it go?"

"Not as well as it could have, but we got him, we just lost a victim in the process."

I tilted my head slightly, "Don't beat yourself up about it; I'm sure there was nothing you could have done."

"No, our hands were tied." He admitted, nodding.

"Emily helped me with my math work," Jack said to him, "She's really nice."

I bit my lip. I knew what he was trying to do. He was smirking at Hotch as he said it. I looked down and pretended not to notice the silent message passing between them. Hotch looked at his watch, "It's almost nine thirty; why don't you go get ready for bed."

Jack nodded, "Okay," He closed the book at the desk and walked passed me, "Good night Emily."

"Good night, honey. Sleep well." I smiled at him and watched him walk towards the staircase through the archway before I turned back to Hotch.

"Thanks for looking after him." He said quietly.

I nodded, "Anytime. It was actually really fun."

"And thanks for helping him with the homework. He's not great at math."

"You don't need to thank me, Hotch." I shook my head.

"Okay…well you look exhausted, so maybe—"

"Right. I should get going." I cut him off before he said "so maybe you should stay here again" like I knew he was going to.

He hesitated before following me towards the front door. My bag was near it; prepared from earlier. "Thanks again."

"It's no problem, Hotch," I rolled my eyes jokingly, "Good night." I said as I opened the door.

"Call me if you can't sleep; I'll come pick you up and bring you back here."

"I'll be okay, but thank you anyway." I smiled.

"See you tomorrow." He said quietly as I walked out the door. He watched me walk to my car before going back inside.

* * *

I woke to the early alarm and I knew I should have been waking this early again all week to train myself back into the morning routine. I turned the alarm off and contemplated closing my eyes, but I knew I'd fall back asleep if I did and I couldn't be late on my first day back. I pulled myself out of bed and made my way to the bathroom, my bathrobe over my arm.

I showered, changed, put my minimal makeup on. I went downstairs and found something to eat for breakfast and ate slowly, distracted by my thoughts. Much to my surprise, they were full of both Hotch and the conversation I had with Jack about Hotch. Jack must have misunderstood; there was no way Hotch had even the slightest bit of romantic interest in me.

I shook my head to myself as I stood up, "Ridiculous." I cleaned the dish I was using and made a coffee to go in a travel cup. I grabbed my bag and readjusted my collar over my jacket before holstering my gun and walking out the door.

I drove to the precinct and saw JJ, Garcia and Reid standing outside, waiting for me, no doubt. I saw their large smiles when they saw my car pull in. I parked in the same spot I always did and stepped out of my car. When I turned around and looked at half my team again, Rossi, Morgan and Hotch were with them. They must have come from inside.

I took a breath when I saw Hotch and looked down to the ground for an extra second before walking towards the building. I smiled when I reached them, "A welcome back committee?" I joked.

JJ rolled her eyes, "How relieved are you to be back?"

"I wouldn't know, I haven't even stepped into the building yet…" I smirked at her.

"Okay guys, chop chop…" Garcia said quietly.

"Turn back around." Morgan said.

"Oh, you're kidding. We have a case _already_?" They nodded in response, "But you just got back last night."

"Well the serial killer obviously didn't know that. Maybe you can tell him when you catch him; I'm sure he'll apologise." Garcia joked.

"Come on." Rossi said, walking forwards and pulled me backwards.

"I miss my desk." I pretended to cry.

I had retrieved my go-bag from my car and Hotch had insisted on carrying it for me. I let him, obviously not wanted to raise any suspicion both with him or the team. We reached the jet and I sat down beside JJ. He sat across from me and Reid was beside him.

We briefed and then sat in silence for a while as we waited for the plane to take us to where we needed to go.

"Prentiss?" Hotch asked quietly.

I looked up from the window and my eyes found his, "Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" I was confused as to why he was asking. I was okay; did I not _look_ okay?

"You just look extra pale today."

"Well, I feel fine." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Okay." He looked back down to the file in his hands. Rossi and JJ looked between the both of us.

"Okay, that was weird." JJ said quietly.

I looked to her, "What?"

"That little exchange there between the two of you…I don't know what made it seem weird; it just was."

"Jayje, we were just talking." I raised my eyebrows.

"Forget I said anything." She looked down at the file in her own hands. _Okay then…_ I saw Rossi watching me out the corner of my eye and I moved my eyes to his. He smirked at me, glanced at Hotch quickly before he returned to me and then looked down at his own file. I shook my head to myself and looked back out the window to the morning sky.

* * *

 **Hotch**

The case felt longer than the three days that it was. I didn't exactly like having to work over the weekend instead of being with Jack, but you have to do what you have to do, I guess. The flight home felt extensive too, and my eyes found and stayed on Emily frequently throughout it. She was asleep right now; her eyes closed softly, her hair falling down over her right shoulder and her quiet, steady breathing that I couldn't hear at all unless I really listened, all seemed so perfect to me. My coat was laid over her; it was rather cold on the plane tonight. She was completely exhausted and she looked it, too. She had even admitted it to me after denying only twice, a rare thing for her.

"You're in love." Rossi said quietly from beside me.

I looked at him quickly, "What?"

"I know that look when I see it, and Aaron, you're in love." He smirked as he stood and walked away quickly so I couldn't deny it to him. I wasn't in love…was I? I tried my hardest to drop the thoughts about her from my mind but I was not the least bit successful. I picked up the book in front of me and tried to distract myself.

We landed just after ten pm. It was dark out and team was eager to get off the plane. JJ went to wake Emily but I stopped her, "JJ, I'll wake her in a minute. Go home."

She nodded and stood up, "Night Hotch." She said quietly as she followed the others off the plane. They had assumed that she'd wake her so they didn't bother to stick around.

I stood up and walked off the plane, taking both my bag and Emily's to the car. I went back to the plane and looked at her again. She looked too peaceful to wake; too content with how she was right now. I decided to lift her up gently. She didn't wake, fortunately, and I took her out to the car, carefully putting her in.

I had texted Jessica before we left and she said that Jack would stay up to come home with me. I drove towards Jessica's house and checked on the still sleeping beauty before stepping out of the car. I didn't close the door like any other time, I just quietly pushed it over and left it open the slightest bit. I walked up to the house and knocked. Jessica answered with a smile and I saw Jack behind her, picking up his bag.

"Thanks for taking him." I said to her.

She smiled and nodded, "Good night you two." She said as Jack walked down the path towards the car.

"Good night Aunt Jess." He called to her. I said goodbye to her and caught up to Jack. He looked tired too. I took his bag and threw it in the back. He climbed into the front and immediately saw Emily asleep across the backseat. Her back was to us so we couldn't see her face. I stepped into the car and pulled back onto the road.

"Why's she sleeping in the car like that?" Jack whispered to me.

"She was asleep on the plane but she's really tired so I just carried her out to the car. She'll stay at our place tonight."

He smiled at me, "When are you going to tell her?"

"I'm not, Jack."

"Why not?"

"Jack, not tonight." I shook my head.

He obeyed and stayed silent on the way home. I gave him the key and he went inside ahead of us, carrying his bag on his shoulder. I managed to get Emily out of the car without disturbing her slumber and I carried her inside, upstairs and to the spare room that smelt faintly of the same strawberry scent that her hair always smelt of. I assumed it was because she spent a few nights here.

Once I lay her in the bed and tucked the blankets around her, I closed the door and went back out to the car, getting both our bags and taking them back inside. I'd drive her to the precinct tomorrow to pick up her car if that's what she wished, but for tonight, she needed her rest.


	15. Chapter 15

**Prentiss**

I woke up in a dark room. I didn't remember half of the flight, waking up or driving home. I blinked a few times and opened my eyes properly, sitting up. I realised that it wasn't my bed I was in, it was Hotch's spare one; the one I had stayed in for only a few nights to look over Jack.

"Oh no…" I said quietly to myself. How did I even get here? Why wasn't I at home? I groaned and dropped back onto the pillow. I lay motionless for a few minutes before pulling myself up. I took my hair out of the fallen ponytail and tied it back up neater. I opened the door quietly and walked downstairs. The TV was on at a low volume but the rest of the house was silent. I looked into the living room and saw Jack watching it. I walked through to the dining room where Hotch sat with a coffee, a few files and a pen.

He didn't notice me standing in the archway. "Hey." I said quietly.

He looked up quickly, "Good morning."

"How exactly did I get here?" I asked as I walked in and sat down across from him.

"I…carried you," He mumbled, "Coffee?" He asked at a normal volume as he stood up, changing the subject.

"…Sure, thanks," I watched him make it in silence and thanked him when he slid the mug to me and sat back down.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"I did," I nodded, "But I'm sorry, did you say you _carried_ me here?"

He cleared his throat quietly and nodded, looking down as casually as he could and drinking his coffee.

"…Why?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "You were exhausted and you looked so peaceful on the plane when we landed so I let you sleep."

"You could have woken me." I said quietly.

"I could have, but I didn't want to." He looked at me.

I let a small smile spread on my lips, "Thanks." My phone buzzed on the table in front of me where I had put it. Half a second later, Hotch's did too. I lifted it and looked at Garcia's text.

" _Drinks tonight? Haven't had a team night in a while."_

"Garcia suggesting drinks?" Hotch asked me.

"Yeah." I nodded and texted her back, accepting the offer. I knew that even if no one else was down to go, she'd still come out with just the two of us. It was always fun, no matter how many others were with us.

"Are you going?" He asked.

I nodded, "I've got nothing else to do. I just have to remember not to drink too much because it's Sunday and I don't work well hungover."

"No one does." He agreed as he typed.

"How about you?" I asked as I drank the coffee.

"I'd have to see if Jessica's busy or not."

I nodded. "Hey Hotch, have you ever felt like you wanted another kid?" I asked curiously.

He thought about it for a few seconds, "I guess I wouldn't have minded another, maybe a daughter, but Jack has always been enough. Have you ever wanted a kid?"

"There have been several times where I've looked into the adoption services," I nodded, "But I don't think I really have the patience for a young child. Maybe a teenager would be easier for me to deal with. I don't think I'd ever actually do it, though; adopt a child."

"You'd be a good mother," He complimented, "I mean, Jack and Henry just love you to death. You are always the first person a child voluntarily goes to on a case, so you have a maternal energy and instinct."

"I think Sergio is enough for now." I nodded with a smirk.

He laughed, "Any plans for today?"

"No, I'll probably do what I do every Sunday. Read a book or watch a movie or stare at a wall for hours until tonight when we go out."

"Well Jack and I were going to go out for lunch. You can come with us if you want." He offered.

"I don't want to interrupt your time with him, but thank you for offering."

"You wouldn't be interrupting, Prentiss," He rolled his eyes, "You're coming with us."

* * *

Hotch had driven me to the precinct in the late morning to pick up my car. I drove home, had a shower and got changed before Hotch and Jack were knocking on my door. I grabbed my bag and followed them out. I didn't know where we were going for lunch; all I knew was Hotch wasn't going to take no for an answer. Garcia had texted me a while ago with details for tonight, which was just to dress nice and what bar we were going to.

"So are you coming tonight?" I asked Hotch, breaking the silence between us that had fallen in the car.

"Yeah," He nodded, "Jessica is home and she's got a cousin or something over tonight; Jack's friends with him so he's happy to go."

"Emily! You should come to my school play next week," Jack said, "I'm doing a big play with my class and I'm the lead role."

"That's great, Jack, but I don't know if I'd be able to make it."

"It's on Friday night," Hotch said quietly, "I do have a spare ticket if you want to come."

"Who'd you buy the ticket for?" I asked curiously.

"Originally Jessica, but now she has to go away for that weekend and she leaves on the Thursday night so she can't be there."

I nodded to show I understood.

"So you'll come?" Jack asked. His voice was hopeful and when I looked at him over my shoulder, I saw that his eyes were too.

I smiled at him, "Sure, I'll be there." I didn't know how well it'd go with Hotch and I, but Jack obviously wanted me to.

Hotch pulled into a restaurant after a while longer and I stepped out of the car with him and Jack. I walked in behind them and sat down across from Hotch. After looking at menus, Hotch insisted on paying for my food and drink.

Jack told me all about his play and he expressed how excited he was both to perform it and for me to see it. I playfully teased Hotch a few times to make Jack laugh, but I found myself smiling so much more than I normally would and Hotch was all smiles and laughs. He was different around Jack and outside of work.

Hotch got up to go to the bathroom once we finished eating and Jack looked at me, "Do you like my dad?"

"In which way are you asking?"

"Like like, not friend like."

I smiled at the classic way children always said "like like" to word romantic interest. "Jack, that's not anything you need to worry about, okay?" I tried to avoid answering the question the best I could without completely ignoring it and changing the subject.

"Well he like likes you and I know that he's really happy that you're coming next week." Why did this keep coming up? Did he understand that this wasn't something he should be telling people, let alone the subject of the matter? I didn't know how to reply to that last time and I didn't know how to reply this time. Do I change the topic now or do I stay on it? Fortunately, I was saved by Hotch's return.

"What are you talking about?" He asked suspiciously when he saw the way I looked at him.

"Nothing." Jack said quickly. So he did know that he wasn't supposed to be telling me this, but he had still done it. I wondered why that was. I wouldn't think about it right now or I might blow the secret for us.

* * *

Hotch had offered to drive me to the bar tonight where we were meeting the team. I had spent the day with him and Jack, I was in the car when we dropped Jack off to Jessica's and I didn't miss the curious look in her eyes or the assuming smirk on her lips. I got changed into a tight dark blue dress and curled my hair loosely. I put some cash, my phone and my keys into a black clutch and slipped my black heels on as I heard the knock on the door. I walked downstairs quickly and looked through the peep hole before opening the door. I smiled at Hotch as he greeted me.

"You look great." He complimented as I walked out of my apartment and we made our way back downstairs.

"Thanks. You do too." I nodded and then laughed at how cheesy that sounded. It sounded like it was straight out of a movie when they go on their first awkward date. But this wasn't a date; this was a team outing.

He drove through the darkening streets that were wet with recent rain. It wasn't exactly warm outside, and I was stupid enough to forget my coat.

When we reached the bar, we walked in together. "A dance floor, so you, Garcia and Morgan will be there all night." He joked.

I laughed and we walked towards the table where we spotted the team, "You could always dance with us." I rolled my eyes.

"Why? So you can grind on me like you do Morgan?" He smirked as he teased.

My lips made an 'O' as we reached the team, "I do not."

"I have seen it on multiple occasions."

"But am I drunk of those occasions? Because drunken Emily is nothing like sober Emily."

"There have been a few drunken nights, but there have also been a few just tipsy nights."

"Let's not have this conversation," I laughed, "Hey guys." I greeted the rest of the team. They all greeted us with smiles.

"You came together?" Rossi asked, giving the both of us a small smirk. Hotch rolled his eyes and shook his head at him.

"Hey Em, where were you today? I called you three times and you didn't pick up." Garcia said.

"What time?"

"I don't know, around one, one thirty."

"I was probably having lunch with Hotch and Jack, so I wouldn't have heard it ring, and sometimes my phone plays up and doesn't tell me when someone has called and I missed it."

"Drink?" Hotch asked me.

"Yes please." I smiled and he nodded as he turned and walked towards the bar. He knew to get my usual.

"You've been seeing an awful lot of Hotch lately…" JJ said quietly, "And the two of you aren't so normal around each other at work anymore, so what's going on there?"

I groaned, "Nothing! Why does everyone think that there is something going on between us? We're friends, he was my primary support for weeks and I like to spend time with Jack. Why does it always need to be romantic? Why can't it just be casual; no dating, no sex, nothing even remotely like that."

"Jesus, okay…chill." Morgan said, looking at me with a surprised expression.

Hotch came back with our drinks and we spent the night in conversation and laughter. I danced with JJ and Garcia for a while, then Morgan joined us, then I sat down while Morgan and Will danced with JJ and Garcia and then I dragged Hotch to the dance floor after he made fun of me for dancing with Morgan. He spun me around a lot and made me laugh as we danced.

When we exited the bar with the team, Hotch hung his jacket over my shoulders when he saw me put my arms around myself. It was freezing outside tonight. We drove home in silence and he stopped outside my apartment. I'll admit, even after saying I wouldn't drink too much, I did and I would be hungover tomorrow, and my decisions at current were not the best. I offered Hotch to come inside, and I don't know what was going through his mind, but he followed me up. He couldn't have drank enough for his decisions to be compromised if he could drive, but I knew he'd regret what happened as I would, because what we did was not okay according to the bureau's rules or our own.


	16. Chapter 16

**Prentiss**

I woke when I heard the small "shit" from Hotch. I didn't move, open my eyes or even change my breathing by the slightest. I listened as I heard his footsteps move quickly around the room; then I heard the bedroom door open quietly and click closed. My eyes flicked open and I sat up, looking around. He had taken his clothes and left in a rush. I sighed to myself and shook my head. _Stupid. That was stupid, Em. Come on girl, you're better than that._

I wanted to believe what I was thinking, but it just didn't seem right. I mean, last night was great. The only thing I regretted notably was the amount I drank, because my head was killing me. I shouldn't have done that and I shouldn't have enjoyed it. He was my boss; my unit chief. There was supposed to be no fraternising between co-workers, and I'm guessing it was even worse if it were your boss. In his case, it was a member of the team he ran, and that couldn't be any better, but it could possibly be worse. No one was to know and it wasn't to happen again…but I felt alive last night; like I was happy and content. I _wanted_ someone to know, but the only people I had to tell were the fellow members of the team; most of which I didn't think would approve. Well, Morgan probably wouldn't, or he'd at least be very opinionated.

I looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was only 4; I still had an hour to sleep. I lay back down and closed my eyes, although I didn't fall asleep. I hadn't gotten any more than three hours, so I knew I'd be tired today and I would no doubt be asked an array of questions as to why.

I lay sleepless with my eyes closed before turning my alarm off when it sounded and getting out of bed. I walked downstairs and started to boil water before going back upstairs to have a quick shower. The shower went a little longer than I originally planned as I recounted last night through my thoughts, thinking of every mistake that seemed so wrongly right to me. I had to boil the water again once I was dressed for work and returned downstairs. I filled Sergio's food and water dishes and turned the news on as I looked for something to eat. I decided with an apple and ate it with my coffee, listening on and off to the news in the background as I cleaned up a bit and walked around aimlessly.

I was never really up this early; I'd normally lay in bed for longer than I should and end up rushing out the door. I eventually gave up on trying to entertain myself and put my holster on, put my gun it in, put my phone into my bag, grabbed my keys and jacket and walked out the door. I'd be early, but I had what seemed like an endless stream of paperwork to complete anyway. I'd just get an early start to the day, is all. I felt exhausted and run-down, my head still hurt, although the coffee helped a bit.

I texted Rossi as I started my car and asked if he was awake yet. He answered as I pulled onto the road and then he called me a few seconds later. I hooked it to my car's Bluetooth and answered his call, "Good morning." I greeted him.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I bit my lip, "Yeah, I'm fine; I just have a small problem. Well, it's not small, but it's not big or urgent or even important."

"Well you obviously want to talk about it." I heard a door close over the phone.

"Where are you?"

"On my way to my car from the coffee shop I was at."

"You're up and out of your house this early?"

"And you're driving, which I'm assuming is to the precinct. Do you want me to meet you there early?"

"Not if you're busy."

"No one is ever busy this early." He would be rolling his eyes right now and I knew it.

"Okay…well then can you please come in early?"

"I'll be there soon. I'll probably beat you so just come up to my office."

"Thanks Rossi."

"Anytime. See you there." He hung up and I took a deep breath. Do I tell him or not? I could change my mind or I could just do it. Would Rossi tell anyone or would he keep it low like he said he would when he _thought_ we were sleeping together at the time when we weren't. _It was just one night; it doesn't count as sleeping together. Three nights minimum is when it's labelled "sleeping together"; you're safe._ I turned the music up to try and distract me for now.

* * *

I paced back and forth in front of Rossi for what felt like hours but really was only a few minutes. I hadn't said a word; he was waiting silently for me to speak. Hotch was in his office already and Reid was at his desk. I saw Hotch in his office when I came in but I kept my bag with me so I was fairly certain that he didn't know I was here yet. Reid knew, but I didn't think he'd suspect anything different.

"Emily, this is clearly bothering you a lot so just say it; it's like ripping off a Band-Aid."

"It's not like a Band-Aid at all." I said as I finally sat down.

Silence filled the room again as I thought about what I would say and if I would even say it. He sighed, "Oh, how I love guessing games," He said sarcastically, "Are you okay physically and mentally?"

"Yes."

"Are you in any sort of danger or trouble?"

"No danger and the answer to trouble will depend on what kind of trouble you mean."

"Trouble with people, trouble with your job, trouble with—"

"Yes, trouble with my job…and people…one person…kind of."

"Are you pregnant?"

"Oh, dear god I hope not. I didn't even think about that; why would you say that? Now that's all I'll be worrying about. I'll feel sick for no reason other than worrying about whether I'm pregnant or not and then I'll think I am actually pregnant because I feel sick."

"Okay, so I'm going to guess you slept with someone you didn't want to or shouldn't have?"

"I shouldn't have done it. I should _not_ have done it," I shook my head and stood up and started pacing again, "I mean, he's my _boss_!"

Rossi sat back in his chair, fighting his smirk as he raised his eyebrows, "So you _did_ sleep together."

"Only last night; nothing before then."

"And you came to _me_ about this because?"

"Well I would have gone to JJ; God knows it would have been _a lot_ more comfortable, but she might tell someone. Someone of a higher power who could get both Hotch and I fired. Fraternisation between co-workers is against the rules here, let alone with your _boss_ , or a member of the team you _run_. It wouldn't be so stressful if it was Morgan or Reid, but no, Hotch had to seduce me."

" _Seduce_ you?" Rossi tried not to laugh, although I heard a quite one escape him.

I glared at him, "This isn't funny!"

"Okay, sorry," he smiled, "Why are you so upset by this?"

"Because he's my boss! I can't work affectively with him now. As much as women hate to admit it, we get attached!"

"I know you do," He nodded, "But Emily, did it ever occur to you that maybe Aaron _wants_ you to be attached? Maybe this isn't bad at all; maybe this is the start of something serious between the two of you."

"No." I shook my head.

"No?"

I shook my head again, "I cannot date my boss. What if we broke up and ended on bad terms? I would have to leave. I wouldn't be able to even look at him, let alone talk to him and work with him. I don't date often; I don't trust people."

"I know you don't," Rossi nodded, "And sure, sometimes that is a good thing, but sometimes it gets in the way of potentially good things in your life. All you're thinking about now if the negative side of things; you need to take a look at the positive side. I'm sure that if you gave both a very good look at, you'd find much more positive than negative points."

"I'm not the most positive of people, Rossi."

"You're saying these things like I don't already know them…" He smirked at me, "Would you like to make a pro and con list?"

I laughed humourlessly, "No, thank you."

"Well, then I suggest you take some time to calm yourself down, act normal around him and think long and hard about what you want and what is the best choice for you, Hotch, Jack and your jobs…anything that could possibly be affected by the decision you come upon."

I nodded, "Thanks."

* * *

I sat at the table in my hotel room in Oakland, California. My small talk with Rossi yesterday morning had me thinking all of yesterday, all of last night and all of today as we flew out here. I was sharing a room with JJ, but she was with Morgan and Reid at the moment and probably would be for a while.

I decided to do what Rossi had suggested that I had passed off so quickly. Pro and con lists sounded so childish to me, but it was better than what I had done so far, which was argue with myself non-stop for two days. I got a piece of paper and a pen. I ruled down the middle of the page and put a line across the top. Above the line on one side, I wrote 'pros' and on the other I wrote 'cons'. I started writing things down as they came to mind.

I went to have a shower, leaving the list on the dining table where I assumed it'd be fine. JJ would probably be back late; she texted me before and said they were brainstorming the case now if I wanted to join. I declined and said I was thinking of my own things. Once I was out of the shower, dressed and my hair was brushed through, I heard the door open to the hotel room.

I hung the towel and the mat off the ground before turning the light out and walking into the room. JJ was here with all four men of our team. Morgan was holding the list as they sat at the dining table and my eyes widened. I ran over and snatched it from his hands.

The five of them looked at me in silence for a few seconds with confused and suspicious faces. "Was that a pro and con list?" Morgan asked me.

"No." I lied quickly and unconvincingly as I walked to the bed I would be sleeping in. I lifted my bag onto it and slipped the list in before zipping it back up and dropping it to the ground again.

"…But the words 'pros' and 'cons' were at the top and it was ruled down the middle."

"Yeah…pro stands for producer and con stands for consumer." I glanced at Rossi when I said it and he nodded slightly, holding a thumb up to me.

"Taking a business class?" JJ asked, raising her eyebrows.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Maybe I'll want to run my own business someday. We don't know what the future holds."

"But the first word in the con side said 'team'."

"Emily…" Hotch said quietly, informing me that they weren't buying it.

"Since when do you call her Emily?" Reid asked Hotch.

Our boss looked at the genius with hard eyes, "What am I supposed to call her?"

"You usually call her Prentiss. I very rarely hear you use her first name."

"I call her whatever I call her." Hotch said to him quietly, sounding slightly aggressive. He was put on the spot there, trying to come up with a reason without giving anything away.

"I go by both names, guys." I looked between them.

I sat down at the dining table and Rossi swiftly changed the subject to the case. This distracted them and they started brainstorming again, presenting ideas, dismissing some and seeing others as possibilities. I glanced at Rossi and mouthed "thank you" silently. He nodded with a small smirk before joining their conversation. When I looked around at my team, I caught Hotch's eyes on me. I looked back at him for a few seconds before I lowered my eyes and swallowed hard. The questioning look in them intimidated me. Hotch scared me, but he also made me feel safe and secure. When I was out in the field, I always felt a sense of fear until he was nearby. When I was feeling anxious over something, it would all go away when he was in eyesight. He was good for me, but would he be bad for me too? The list wasn't exactly helpful, although I hadn't finished it yet. I waited patiently for the men to retire to their rooms before getting into my bed without a word to JJ. She wanted to ask about the list, I knew she did, but she refrained. She knew I wanted it to be a private thing. I couldn't sleep; I was left thinking about pros and cons for hours.


	17. Chapter 17

**Prentiss**

I stared out the window of the jet. Morgan and Reid were playing some card game that left them laughing and arguing a lot across the plane. JJ sat beside me and Hotch and Rossi were across from us. I was seated so that I could hold a book or something without JJ seeing what was on or in the pages. I held a large book with the pro and con list inside it, although the writing was giving it away a bit.

"You do realise that there is a table in front of you, right?" JJ asked me, looking up from her book. I glanced at her before looking back at the piece of paper. She sighed and shook her head before looking back at her book, "I don't like that you're keeping that from me." She mumbled quietly.

"Why is it so important to you?" I asked, lying the book and paper face down on my lap.

"Because you're supposed to tell your best friend things, that's why. I would tell you about it if this was reversed."

"Yes JJ, but you have very little that you _need_ to keep secret from me."

"And you _need_ to keep this secret from me?"

"Yes." I said confidently.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to lose my job." I tilted my head slightly.

Hotch closed the file that he was reading over quickly and put it on the table, "Something serious I should know about?"

"…No…I just said I _don't_ want to lose my job."

"See, you're just making their suspicions go in the wrong direction." Rossi shook his head.

"You know?" JJ asked him. He nodded in confirmation. She looked at me with questioning eyes, "So you trust him with something that threatens your job and not me?"

"Yes," I nodded, "Because you would feel obligated to tell Hotch or someone else and Rossi isn't afraid to break the rules."

"It really isn't that important, guys." Rossi tried to ease their curiously and worry.

"Gee, thanks." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Whose side do you want me to be on?" He smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the piece of paper. Morgan and Reid starting talking and arguing lightly again once they realised that I wouldn't continue talking about it. Rossi looked back to the puzzle he was doing in his book and Hotch and JJ sat still watching me.

I looked at the two of them, "Carry on with your reading."

"My office when we land." Hotch said as he lifted the file back up and opened it. I groaned and looked at Rossi.

"Would you like me to come?" He joked with a smirk.

I snickered, "Imagine that."

* * *

I managed to get through the rest of the flight only being questioned once more by both JJ and Reid combined. Then I made it inside the precinct to grab the things that I left along with some paperwork and I got out safely without going to Hotch's office like he requested. Morgan had told me as I walked out beside him quickly that Hotch was watching me.

I calmed down when I got to my car and I drove home to my apartment. Maybe he would forget by tomorrow morning. I doubted he'd let it go, though.

I made myself dinner and ate with low music on. I stared at the list as I ate, thinking of more things to put on it. I fed Sergio afterwards and I sat down on the couch with a container of cookies and cream ice cream. I wrote down a few more things and heard a knock on my door. I dropped the spoon into the quarter eaten ice cream container and read the list as I walked to the door. I slid the chain open and flicked the two locks without looking through the peep hole and opened the door. I looked up and saw Hotch looking at me with hard eyes. I almost dropped the ice cream as I moved quickly to put the piece of paper out of his sight.

"You didn't expect me to come here after you ran out of the precinct without coming to my office like I asked?"

"I expected you to wait til tomorrow before you yelled at me." I said as I stepped out of the way. He walked in and I closed and locked the door behind him. He followed me to the living room and I sat back down where I was previously. He sat on the couch adjacent to this one and watched me as I pulled my legs up. "Ice cream?" I offered him.

"No thank you." He shook his head.

"A drink? Anything?"

"No thanks," he declined my offer, "But I'll cut straight to it. What are you keeping from the team and I?"

"It's nothing." I shook my head.

"If it's something that threatens your job, then I should probably know."

"It's not bad." I shook my head.

"Then why can't you tell me, Em?" He never called me Em. He hardly even called me Emily.

"It's…I'm just thinking about a change of job…" It was the first lie that came to mind.

"That's not it because that wouldn't threaten your current job." He called me out.

"Hotch." I pleaded with him not to make me tell him.

"Are you not telling me because of what happened Sunday night?" He asked hesitantly, "Because I honestly thought that you were still capable of making decisions on your own. I realised the morning after that you definitely were not…so if you're thinking that I took advantage of you, that was not what I intended and I'm sorry. I also didn't mean to break the Bureau rules and I can assure you that no one that is capable of doing anything about it will find out."

I shook my head, "No, I knew what I was doing. But do we really have to discuss this?"

"Yes, because you haven't been yourself around me since," He said as he moved to my side, "If you are desperate to forget about it, then I can leave, but I do think that you need to talk to me about it if it affects your work."

"Okay, can you just tell me where you're at with all this before I say anything?"

"Well what do you specifically want to know?"

"…Do you regret it?" I asked quietly.

There was silence for a few seconds and I stared at the face down piece of paper on the table in front of me and I assumed he was thinking.

"No," He replied just as quietly, "Do you?"

I shook my head and admitted that I didn't, "No." I stood up and put the lid over the ice cream container. I took it and the spoon towards the kitchen to buy myself a few seconds to think and process what was just said. I put the ice cream in the freezer and cleaned the spoon quickly. When I turned around, I saw him looking at the pro and con list that was previously on the table.

I felt my breath catch in my throat and I swallowed hard to allow myself to breathe properly again. I took a few silent breaths before walking back towards the couches across the room slowly.

"There are a lot more cons than pros…" He said quietly when I sat back down. His voice almost sounded disappointed. He was wrong, there was a whole other page of pros, but I didn't want it all on one page and have to stare at the reality in front of me every time I looked at it. I cleared my throat quietly and stood back up. I walked across the room to my bag and retrieved the pro page. I gave it to him as I sat back down.

"These are all pros…"

"Yeah." I whispered. I couldn't believe myself. I was letting him see the lists that were labelled "pro us" and "con us". "…I guess pro us wins." I said awkwardly.

"And what do you think about that?" He looked to my eyes. I looked back at them for a few seconds.

"I don't know yet…" His lips inched closer to mine slowly. I closed my eyes and he kissed me once. When I opened my eyes, his opened too, and seeing the darkness of his boring into mine, I couldn't help myself from kissing him back. We continued to kiss for a short while before I pulled away and stood up, "No." I shook my head.

"Emily…"

"This is _so_ against the rules." I said to him as I turned and looked towards him. He was standing too and he approached me slowly. I took a few steps back as he continued to me and eventually, his hands gripped my arms gently and my back hit the wall.

"Screw the bureau." He said quietly before pressing his lips back to mine. I gave in to him and jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist and his arms wrapped around me.

* * *

I lay against his bare chest with my eyes closed as he scratched my bare back gently. It was so soothing and relaxing. I heard my alarm go off after a while and I sighed as I rolled away from him to switch it off. I sat up and brushed my hair back. He pulled me back down gently and I dropped back to him.

"We have to get up." I said after a few more minutes.

"Five more minutes." He said quietly.

"Aaron, it's six. You're normally at the office between six or six-thirty. So is Reid. If you're not there in your normal timeframe, he'll be suspicious. We can't tell the team about this." He sighed as I sat back up and took the sheet with me, wrapping it around my chest, "…Unless you want them to know…"

"No." He sat up quickly.

"And the reason for that is?" I asked hesitantly. I thought it may have been just for privacy and rules at first, but now I was wondering if it were because it was me that he was sleeping with.

He stopped himself from getting up and looked at me for a few seconds. He shook his head, "It's not you, Emily. The Bureaus rules are stricter on me than anyone else of the team, especially with Cruz taking on Strauss's role and being on my arse all the time."

I nodded, "That's what I thought you were going to say." I smiled and kissed his cheek before getting up. I pulled the whole sheet with me and the blanket stayed around him. I opened the top drawer in my dresser and got underwear and a bra out.

"You're not upset about that, are you?" He asked, "I mean, having to keep it from JJ and Garcia, Morgan and Reid."

I turned and looked at him, shaking my head, "No. Sure, I would have liked to be able to speak to JJ or Garcia, but I can survive without the usual update on men. Rossi knows though…"

"I figured after the flight," He nodded, "How did you even approach him about it?"

"I spent all morning thinking about what to say and then he kind of guessed," I shrugged my shoulders, "I thought it'd be a lot more of an awkward conversation but it actually wasn't as bad as I expected it to be."

"Well he's probably the only one—" He stopped midsentence when his phone rang, "Hold on." He picked it up and greeted the caller with "Hotchner".

I walked out of the room and to the bathroom as he talked to whoever had called him. I tied my hair up and turned the water on. I stepped in and after a short while, I heard a knock on the door and then it opened. "I've got to go back to my place and get changed, okay? I'll see you at the office."

"Wait, who was that on the phone?" I stopped him before he could walk away.

"Reid…he was wondering where I was…"

I smiled to myself, "Told you."

"Yes, you were right. I'll see you later."

"Bye."

I heard the door click shut and I smiled again as I thought about last night. He made me happier than I had been since even before the whole Doyle back from the dead thing. I dated guy after guy and I never felt anything remotely close to real happiness with them; I was just there to try and feel _something_. Then Doyle came, and he put a halt to my dating, if you could call it that, and Hotch was there every second when I needed anything. And now we were here, and I was happy, and he _seemed_ happy, although I could be completely wrong about that. My feelings could have been clouding the truth, but even if Hotch was just looking for a temporary thing and nothing serious, I wouldn't just drop the whole thing. I would take whatever happiness I could, whether it was brief or something more. I just didn't care right now.


	18. Chapter 18

**Prentiss**

The team had decided that they wanted to go out for lunch this weekend, children and partners included. We were originally going to go yesterday, but then Garcia had to do something so we changed it to Sunday, today.

I walked into the restaurant beside Garcia. I had picked her up; her car was at the mechanics now. She was telling me all about the date she had the other night with a guy I had heard about only a few times. "I mean, he is like a god. He knows exactly what to say at the right time. By the end of the night, I was about ready to literally rip his clothes from his body. _Oh_ , and his _body_."

I laughed as we reached the table, "Was there anything _bad_ about him?" I waved to greet the team.

"No! He's perfect in every way," We sat down and I was directly across from Hotch, "But who are you seeing at the moment?" She asked.

I fought the urge to glance at Hotch. I kept my eyes on her and shook my head, "No one."

"You are. Who is he, what is he like? Is he a dick? Is he perfect?"

"Who is he? He is a member of the male species. What is he like? He's…him…"

"Is he nice?"

I laughed to myself, "Well, that really depends on who you ask or who he's talking to, but if you're asking if he's nice to _me_ , then yes, he is."

"Is he perfect?"

"I do not feel comfortable answering that question at this time. Let's change the subject."

"No, I'm intrigued," JJ spoke, "What does he do for a living?"

"Something _very_ important."

"More important than us?"

"I don't know; I don't even know him that well," I lied, "We just hooked up a few times." That wasn't a lie.

"Is he hot?" Rossi asked, smirking at me. I saw Hotch glare at him out the corner of my eye.

I tried to hold my laugh and smile back, "I'd say so," I nodded, "And can we please change the subject now?"

JJ rolled her eyes, "Fine." She changed the subject by asking Morgan something. He replied with a laugh and that conversation picked up. We looked at menus and ordered after a short while.

I looked at my phone after it buzzed on the table, face down. I lifted it up and looked at the text from Hotch, _"I don't know whether to be offended by your "I'd say so" or not."_

I laughed to myself but it was louder than I intended and the whole table heard. I looked up when I felt the nine sets of eyes on me, "Sorry, just a funny text…" Henry and Jack both stopped paying attention to us again almost immediately.

"From your boyfriend?" Reid asked curiously.

"He's not my _boyfriend_ ," I rolled my eyes, "But yeah…from him."

"Have you even gone a date with this guy?" Morgan asked me.

"…No…" I looked down to the table in front of me.

"Why not?"

"…He hasn't asked." This was the most awkward thing I've had to do in a long time. Hotch was sitting across from me and I was talking about him right in front of him.

"So you're a booty call?"

"There are children here, Morgan." I raised my eyebrows. Henry and Jack weren't listening, but even if they were, they probably wouldn't understand what a booty call was. Well, Henry wouldn't. I couldn't say the same for Jack.

"You're a booty call," He nodded.

"No," Garcia frowned, "You're not that kind of girl. You're the "take me on a date and make me know you love me before I let you _make_ love to me" kind of girl."

"How did we get back to this topic again?"

"You received a text." Hotch reminded, trying to act casual as he said it.

"Pen, have you ever _met_ Emily?" JJ raised her eyebrows at her, "She is the female equivalent to Morgan when she wants to be."

"Hey!" My lips were parted as I looked at her, speaking in an offended tone.

"Wow, why were you so offended by that?" Morgan raised his eyebrows at me.

"Because I'm not a slut." I looked at him.

"Are you calling me a slut?"

"Well, yes," I nodded, "But it's double standards. You could sleep with twenty different girls in a fortnight and you'd be labelled a freaking legend by any other guy because you're a male, but I sleep with three different guys within the same timeframe and I'm labelled a slut. Double standards."

"So you're just going to be a booty call for the same guy so that you _won't_ be labelled a slut?"

"I'm not a booty call!"

"Are you sure?" Will asked.

"…Yes." I wasn't sure at all, and my voice made that very clear.

"Yeah, that was believable." He said sarcastically.

"It doesn't matter and it doesn't concern any of you," I shook my head. Our orders were brought out and placed in front of us.

"So is he good in bed?" Garcia asked as we started eating.

"Oh my god," I looked at her, "Please stop."

"So he is, huh?" She smirked and raised her eyebrows as she nodded. I saw Rossi shift in his seat slightly and when I glanced at him, he tried to keep his laugh back. Hotch was glaring at him again.

"I'm just going to ignore you now." I looked down at the plate in front of me. I wasn't exactly hungry right now, so I ate slowly and I didn't end up finishing it.

* * *

I was lying with my legs up on my couch. I was wearing a loose shirt and underwear, reading a book Reid at leant me. He thought I'd really like it and I had my doubts, but it was actually really good. Our lunch yesterday had gone okay after we stopped talking about Hotch, although they had no idea that they were talking about him, and work today was slow. Hotch hadn't acted any different to how he normally did today, so at least he wasn't bothered by yesterday's conversations. He had asked if I was busy tonight and when I said no, all he said was "okay". He said he'd text me this evening sometime but it had been a half hour since I got home; it was 5:30, and I had no calls or texts.

Coincidently, as I thought about it, my phone buzzed on the table. I placed the bookmark in to save the page and closed the book over. I pushed Sergio off my legs and put the book on the table. I grabbed my phone from beside it and opened Hotch's text.

" _Check your front door."_

I read the few words twice before my eyebrows furrowed. Why should I be checking my front door? Was he there and I hadn't heard him knock? I smiled to myself, thinking about that, and I stood up. I walked, almost ran, to the door and unhooked the chain and turned the locks. I opened it with a small smile but it dropped when I didn't see Hotch there. I looked down and saw a large red bag at the door. I smiled again and lifted it up. I walked back inside, turned the locks and slid the chain back on. I walked back to the living room and sat down, crossing my legs underneath me. I was bouncy, excited.

I opened the bag and took the box out that was on the top. It was a decent sized box of Hershey's Kisses, my favourite chocolates. I put the box on the table before looking back in the bag. I folded piece of paper sat at the top now. I took it out and read the short note.

" _Put these on and be ready by 7. Hope you're hungry."_

I pulled out a smaller black and pink bag that was inside the red one. A very pretty and extremely sexy two piece set of lingerie was inside the small bag. I smirked to myself and bit my lip. A small, excited laugh left me and sounded so girly that I had to stop for a second and think about what I just did. I shook my head, my lips stuck in the smirk and I pulled out the next piece of clothing. It was a tight, dark burgundy fancy dress. It was beautiful; I loved it. I'd have to ask who helping him shop for these things because I doubted he would have gone into a lingerie store alone or chosen all the right things to buy. It was all so beautiful. I looked at the black clutch in the bag and the black shoes. The platform heels were open-toed and had cut outs through them. I loved them as well. JJ and Garcia would too.

I looked at the clock on the wall. I had an hour and fifteen minutes to get ready. I got up and put the chocolates in the kitchen and then put all the clothes back in the bag. I took my phone with me and ran upstairs. Sergio followed behind me closely and I left the door open so he could catch up and come in. I put the bag down on top of the dresser and got my phone out. I took a photo of the note and sent it to JJ and Garcia. I was too excited not to tell them; I needed to say _something_.

I put my phone down, grabbed my bathrobe and ran to the bathroom. I had a shower, washed my hair and shaved my legs for the second time today. I got out; blow dried my hair and styled it nicely with curls. I went back to my room and did my makeup with simple contour and winged eyeliner. I put dark burgundy lipstick on and I had about ten minutes before it was seven. I took my bathrobe off and bit my lip again as I looked at the lingerie. I let out a breath and shook my head to try and rid the anxiety that grew inside of me. _He wouldn't have bought the lingerie if he didn't want you wearing it. He said to wear it._

I slipped it on and looked at myself in the mirror. I picked my phone up and took a photo of the lingerie, just in case I needed it for future uses. I smiled to myself and walked back to the dresser. I took the dress out of the bag and put it on over the lingerie. There was no hint that I was wearing anything that highly revealing or inappropriate underneath it. He definitely had a female to help him out when he shopped for these.

I put the heels on and pulled the zips up at the back of my heel. I wouldn't be able to bring a gun with me and that didn't make me feel very easy, but when I thought of Hotch being with me, I could relax. He was like my own personal definition of safety.

I looked at myself in the mirror with the completed outfit. I smiled again, "You're smoking." I joked to myself. I made a small squeal noise and I hated myself for it. Why was I so girlish today?

I slipped my lipstick into the new clutch and checked my phone. I had three texts from Garcia and five from JJ.

Garcia's read:

" _No way! That's adorable."_

" _What are you putting on? WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING ON?"_

" _Come in early tomorrow and tell me everything. Start to finish. Take a photo of your outfit for me and have fun."_

JJ's read:

" _Oh my god! That is so freaking romantic."_

" _Were you lying or is this really your first date?"_

" _Emily, answer me. I need answers!"_

" _Have fun and tell me everything. I know you texted Pen too, so come in early tomorrow and tell us everything."_

" _I need to see the outfit, by the way. This is for important reasons. I also need you to show Will all of this so he knows to do the same."_

I laughed to myself and texted the both of them back. _"I'll take a photo. About to leave; sorry, I was getting ready. I'll be there a half hour early."_

I picked up the simple black choker on my dresser and clipped it around my neck. I replaced my silver, small earrings with fancy black ones. I looked in the mirror and took a photo on my phone, my shoes and clutch included. I wouldn't send it now; I'd show them tomorrow.

I walked downstairs and slipped my phone into the clutch on the way down and I fed Sergio quickly. I put my keys into the clutch and took some cash and my card from my usual floral wallet and put them into the clutch too. I heard a knock on the door and smiled to myself in the mirror. I was extremely excited for this, it was ridiculous. I walked to the door quickly and tried to slow myself down. If he could hear the heels click, he'd know just how eager I was.

I turned the locks and unlatched the chain. I opened the door and smiled at him. His suit was very nice and he wore a dark burgundy tie that matched my dress. "Hi." I greeted. He held a small bunch of red roses to me. My smile grew, "Thank you." I took them and walked back inside towards the kitchen, motioning for him to follow me. I smelt them as I made my way down the small hall and they smelt amazing.

He smiled and looked me up and down when I turned after filling a vase and putting the roses in, "When I bought it all in the store, I did _not_ expect it to look _this_ good."

I bit my lip and looked down, "Thanks."

"You're nervous." He smiled.

"I am," I nodded, "I almost believed Morgan and Will…"

"You're too good just to use as a booty call," He shook his head, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." I nodded. I turned the light out before walking out after him and closing the door behind me. I locked it and dropped my key back in the clutch before following Hotch down the hall and downstairs to the ground floor of the apartment building. He opened the passenger door for me and I stepped into his car.

* * *

"This is really nice, Aaron. You didn't need to do all of this. You could have just ordered a pizza if it's what you preferred." I said as we sat down at the high end restaurant. The lights were a dulled, romantic shade and there was quiet, classical music on. There were flowers on the table already beside an ice bucket with a glass of expensive wine in it.

"You wanted a date. Pizza isn't a date."

"And when did I express my concerns to you on whether we would go on a date or not?"

"Yesterday at lunch." He titled his head as he smiled at me.

I closed my eyes, "Boy, was that awkward."

"Especially with Dave there." He agreed and we both laughed.

"And the questions they were asking were not appropriate at all. I was so nervous, having to answer all of that in front of you."

He laughed again, ""Is he good in bed?" Who asks that?"

"Garcia does." I laughed with him. I swiftly changed the subject away from the team; they weren't exactly the best thing to talk about while we were on _our_ date. Besides, when I was with Hotch and I thought about them, I felt guilty. I hated lying to them, but I also liked my job and I knew Hotch liked his. The job would almost always win, as long as what I was keeping from them wasn't anything threatening to them.

We reminisced and we joked and laughed and talked all night. It was really fun and I had only ever seen him smile so much when he was with Jack. After we ate and talked for a while longer, he took me to another place a few blocks away. It was like a fancy bar. We had a few drinks, him less than me because he was driving, and we danced a lot.

It was around midnight when we drove back to my place. He locked his car and followed me inside, his hand in mine. I unlocked the front door and we walked in. He locked it behind him, how he knew I always had it, and looked at me when he turned around. I smiled as he approached me slowly and he ran his hand up my arm. It sent shivers down my spine; the good shivers. The ones that asked you, "Wow, is this really happening right now?" and you had to think about it a few times in your head to make sure it was real. His hand brushed against my cheek a second before his lips met mine. I felt my whole body relax as he kissed me a few more times.

"Upstairs." He said before kissing me once more and gently pushing me backwards.

I giggled. I actually giggled. And I ran upstairs with him behind me. I dropped my clutch on the dresser as I got to the bedroom and I looked at him when he came in.

"I'm closing the door because I don't want Sergio to come in." He said as he loosed his tie.

"I still can't believe that you, Aaron Hotchner, are scared of my cat." I laughed.

"Shut up." He said quietly as he walked to me. His lips crashed against mine again and I lay backwards on the bed.


	19. Chapter 19

**Prentiss**

I walked into the bullpen at the same time as I always did. I put my bag down at my desk and greeted Morgan and Reid with a smile. JJ and Garcia walked out of Garcia's office as Hotch and Rossi walked down the few steps from the catwalk.

"You're late." JJ said to me.

I looked at my watch, "Oh, by three minutes. I live an hour away, give me a break here."

"It takes less than three minutes to murder someone." Reid said.

"Do we have a case?"

"No." Garcia shook her head.

"Then why does three minutes matter?"

"Because you were supposed to come in early!" JJ said, "I can't believe you forgot. Now, instead of eating during your lunch break, you're going to have to tell us everything then."

"Tell you everything about what?" I asked with a confused look.

Garcia dropped her head to the side, "Your date last night, pumpkin. Do you have photos of the outfit? Did you get lucky? Of course you got lucky; you forgot you were supposed to meet us early. Was it fun? Are you going to go again?"

"Jesus Garcia, calm down. Yes, I have a photo and I'll show it to you later. It was fun and I would go again." I nodded.

"Was this with the booty call guy?" Morgan sat forwards in his chair, intrigued.

"I wasn't a booty call." I denied as I shook my head.

"Well you're not _now_. So what'd you do, where'd you go?"

"Dinner and dancing." I told him easily, smiling.

"Sounds like a great night," Hotch said, "Garcia, you're office." He motioned for her to walk back and she obeyed him. He followed behind her and JJ sat on the side of my desk. I glanced at Rossi and we smirked at each other.

"What are you two smiling about?" Reid asked, looking between us, "Please tell me you're not the booty call guy." He said to Rossi.

Rossi and I both laughed and he shook his head. "Do you even know what a booty call is, kiddo?" Rossi asked him.

"Yes." Reid nodded, answering the question seriously. I laughed again.

"Reid, no…" I shook my head.

"Does he know?" Morgan asked.

I didn't see any harm in them knowing that Rossi was aware of who I was dating. It wouldn't give it away or anything; he might have just known him previously or I introduced them. Maybe I ran into him while I was out with "the guy" or he was just a mutual friend. They wouldn't know and they wouldn't have a reason to doubt any of these options.

"Yeah, he does." I nodded.

"How?" JJ asked.

"Mutual friend." I shrugged my shoulders. It technically wasn't a lie; Hotch was a mutual friend. This was the closet lie to the truth.

"A sugardaddy?" JJ smirked, "I hope he's younger than Rossi."

I smirked and nodded, "He is."

"By how many years?"

"Over ten."

"Is he older than you?" Reid asked. I nodded. "How much older?"

"…A few years."

"Do we know him?" Morgan asked, "Or would we have seen him somewhere?"

"I don't know." I shook my head.

"No, you wouldn't." Rossi lied for me.

"Okay, turns out we do have a case." Garcia said as she walked over. I stood from my chair at the same time as Morgan and Reid. JJ jumped down from my desk and followed us up towards the round table room.

Garcia cleared her throat when we were all sitting with the files in front of us, "This is a big one."

She presented the case to us. There were seven young brunette men murdered in their homes within the last three days. There was not yet a link found between them and we were being called in by the desperate cops in Brookings, South Dakota. There city was in panic and the press had gotten out of hand with false information over the past two days.

We discussed it for a short while before my phone rang and interrupted JJ.

"Sorry." I said quietly as I took it from my pocket. I went to decline the call but I saw "dad" on the caller ID. He never called me. I hadn't seen him in over a year; he and my mother were somewhere in Europe at the moment. Spain, I think. "Oh…I have to get this. Sorry; I'll catch up." I said as I stood up and walked towards the door quickly.

I walked down the catwalk far enough so they wouldn't hear me as I accepted the call and held the phone to my ear, "Hey dad."

"Emily, how are you?"

"I'm kind of busy. Is this important?"

"…Extremely. Emily, your mother's sick."

I felt my stomach drop, "Sick? What kind of sick?"

"Too sick. We're in Spain right now. The doctor doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the week." He managed to choke out. He was trying desperately to hold his sobs back.

"Oh my god…" I breathed. I put my hand over my mouth, "Is there anything that can be done? Why didn't you call me earlier?"

"It wasn't this bad before, but it got a lot worse yesterday. They don't think anything can help her. She wants to see you before she goes." I knew he was crying.

Tears filled my eyes and as much as I disliked my mother, of course I loved her. They fell onto my cheeks and I kept my back to the team so they wouldn't see. "I have a case, dad. A serious one."

"Emily, your mother is dying."

I swallowed hard and took in a few deep breaths, "I'll get on the next flight. Where in Spain?"

"We're in Granada."

I nodded to myself, "Okay…okay I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Emily, when you get here, I need you to be strong for her. She's scared, but she needs you not to be."

"Okay." I sobbed.

"I love you."

I hesitated, "Love you too. See you soon." I hung up and stared at the ground for a few seconds as I tried to calm myself down and stop the tears. I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath before turning around and walking back towards the round table room. "Hotch." I said quietly. He turned and I motioned for him to come out so I could talk to him privately. He stood up and followed me out, giving me questioning eyes when I turned around at the end of the catwalk to look at him.

"You're holding tears back. What happened?" He went to grab my hand, but he remembered where we were and stopped himself.

"I need this week off." I said quietly, looking down.

"Sure, as long as you need," He nodded, "But what happened?" He asked again.

"I—I don't want to talk about it right now, but I'll call you when I feel fine enough to."

"Are you in danger?"

"No," I shook my head and forced a small smile. He was concerned and suspicious but he wasn't going to push it, "No, I'm okay."

I saw his eyes glance over my lips but he decided against kissing me right now, no matter how much both of us knew I needed it. "Well, let me know as soon as you feel fit to, and let me know if there is anything I can do."

I nodded, "Thanks Aaron."

"Do you need to leave right now?"

"Yeah, it's kind of urgent. Um…it'll cost a lot for you to call me, I need to leave the country…so you can text me and I'll call you or you can call me and hang up straight away and I'll call you back. That way you're not paying a fortune."

"Or I can just call you because you're more important than a few extra dollars on my phone bill."

I smiled, "Well I've got to go, but thank you for this."

He nodded and I looked into his eyes for a few seconds before letting the breath I was holding out and looking down to the ground.

"Have a safe flight. Let me know you landed okay." He said quietly.

I nodded, "Bye." I took a step back and turned around when he nodded. I grabbed my bag as I walked past my desk and went to the glass doors quickly.

* * *

 **Hotch**

I watched Emily walk out of the bullpen and I made my way back to the conference room.

"What's going on?" Morgan asked.

"Emergency. We're an agent down. Wheels up in 20." I picked up the file that was in front of me and took Emily's too. I walked down the catwalk to my office and turned the sound up on my phone. I wouldn't have it on silent at all until I knew what was going on with her.

I looked out the window to the bullpen and saw the rest of my team getting the things they needed. I saw Rossi walk past my window and heard the knock on my door. "Yes." I allowed entry.

He walked in and closed the door behind him, "What's going on with Emily?"

I shook my head, "I don't know, but she was upset. _Really_ upset. She's leaving the country for something but she wouldn't tell me what. She wouldn't have been able to without crying; I could see it in her eyes. She said she'd call when she felt okay to tell me."

He nodded, "Well let her know that we're all available if she needs anything."

"I will." I assured.

He walked back out and I grabbed my phone from my pocket. I called Jessica and told her than I had a case, and she confirmed that she was okay to pick Jack up after school and look after him until I got back like she was always able to do.

I sat down and did a bit more paperwork before I grabbed my go bag and made my way to the airstrip.

On the plane, we discussed the case some more before they decided to occupy themselves on the rest of the flight with cards. I kept checking my phone every few minutes and they all had noticed.

"Hotch, relax," Morgan said quietly, "Whatever she's doing, she'll be fine doing."

"He's right. She wouldn't have told you anything if she was in any kind of danger." Reid said.

"Come play; I'll deal you in." JJ offered.

"No, thank you." I said before lifting the file back up and reading through it for what felt like the hundredth time. I kept hoping I'd cross something new that would give me something to work on when we landed, but not much was revealed that we hadn't already talked about amongst us.

* * *

Our third day here, I was sitting in the room of the police station that we were set up in with the rest of the team. My phone started to ring and I picked it up on the second, seeing "Prentiss" flash across the caller ID.

"Prentiss?" I spoke as soon as it met my ear.

I heard her sniff quietly and let out a breath that she tried to calm herself with, "Hey Hotch."

I stood up and walked out of the room where the other four watched me. I branched off into a small room near the one we were based in. It was quiet and empty. I closed the door behind me and sat down on the chair closest to the door. "What's going on? You're crying."

"Yeah…" She took another breath.

"You're allowed to cry sometimes, Emily. You're only human. Please tell me what is going on?"

"Just…are you finished with the case?"

"Almost. We have two suspects and Garcia is looking into them as we speak. Do you—" I stopped when the door opened.

"Thomas Herd," JJ said, "We've got an address."

I nodded, "Uh Em…"

"Go; call me when you have a few minutes to spare." I could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Okay, I'll call as soon as we get him. Talk to you soon." I hung up and ran out, following Rossi out of the station. I got in the SUV and sat impatiently as I waited for Morgan to reach the residence.

Eventually, Morgan had tackled the murderer down while he ran and he put the cuffs on him. A local cop took him away and I stood with my team, looking around the area we were in.

"So many men in so little time," JJ shook her head, "This was kind of crazy."

"Well we got him now," Rossi put his arm around her comfortingly and rubbed her shoulder, "Come on; it's cold. Let's go home." He took his jacket off and hung it around her shoulders before walking to the car with her. Reid followed them.

"You ready to go?" Morgan asked me as I looked around. We only brought one car this time with only five of us. I nodded and followed him to the car. I sat in the passenger seat and Morgan drove.

JJ's phone rang and she sighed before she answered it, "Hey."

"No Will, I have no idea."

"No, I'm not lying to you. Why do you keep doing this?"

"Look, we're kind of busy. Can I call you when I have more time to talk?"

"Okay, bye." She hung up and let out a deep breath.

"Trouble in paradise?" Morgan asked, looking at her through the rear-view mirror.

She snickered, "Trouble everywhere."

"Well you're not going to fix anything if you keep putting it off and lying to him." Rossi said quietly.

"I was not going to talk about it with you all in such close proximity. I'll handle it when we get home; it'll be fine."

"Don't be so sure," I said quietly. I realised how insensitive that may have sounded. I looked at her over my shoulder, "Sorry."

She shook her head, "It's okay."

"No it's not, JJ. Not every marriage ends up like mine. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted?" She wasn't sure whether that's what I wanted to hear. I nodded and silence filled the car momentarily.

"I have to call Prentiss." I said as I took my phone out. I dialled her number and waited for her to pick up. She did almost immediately.

"Hey." She greeted. She sounded exhausted and upset.

"You sound terrible; have you slept?"

She sighed, "Not much. Where are you?"

"In the car with the team."

"Well, apparently things just continuously go wrong in my life now."

"What happened?" I asked quietly, despite the team being so close that they'd hear my whisper. If Emily was even talking at a normal volume, they might have been able to hear her.

"Well, I'm in Spain. Uh… my mother got sick, my father was lost on what else to do, and now I'm here."

"Is she okay?"

I heard her take an unsteady breath, "No. She's gone." She sobbed when she said it but she tried to hold it back.

"I am so sorry, Emily." I stared at the road in front of us but I felt the team's eyes on me.

She sobbed a few times, "I don't know what to do. My father won't be fit enough to plan a funeral, I have no idea of the first thing she'd want for it. I don't know how to make sure my father is okay, or myself, or what to tell people who ask. I had three family members that I've never spoken to in my life, call me and ask how she is."

"Calm down, Em. Ask your father about where she'd want the funeral and how she'd want it. Write it all down and give it to me; I'll handle it. Your father will be okay, he just needs to grieve for now and you do too. Don't answer calls unless you know who they're from if you don't want to be asked about her; just keep it within who you trust at the moment. It doesn't need to be shared around the world yet."

She took a few breaths and I waited patiently, "Thanks Aaron."

"Anything you need, just give me a call. Or Rossi or JJ or anyone."

"Okay, I'll keep it in mind. I've got to go, my father is arguing with someone."

"Be kind to yourself. Give yourself some room to breathe and think."

"Bye."

"See you when you get back." I hung up and shook my head. I locked my phone and put it back in my pocket.

"Someone died?" Reid asked quietly.

I nodded, "The ambassador."

Silence filled the car for a few seconds as they all took in that information. "Is there anything she needs us to do?" Rossi asked.

"I offered to plan the funeral; she and her father are a little too preoccupied to do it themselves at the moment. That's all I've gotten so far. She probably would just appreciate some support."

"Where is she?" JJ asked.

"Spain."

Morgan looked at me, "Does she want us to come out there?"

I shook my head, "She needs some time to grieve. She's too busy trying to take care of her father that I don't think it's really all sunken in yet." I knew her and I knew that she wouldn't want the sympathy that we would offer. She wouldn't want the comfort yet; she'd just want to be alone right now. I'd call her and ask if she wanted us to come out in a few days.


	20. Chapter 20

**Prentiss**

I sat beside my father at the funeral. I held his hand for comfort; he had been crying since the start, but they were silent tears so he wasn't disrupting anything. She loved Italy, so this is where we were. My father had said that she always asked that if she died first, could he bury her here in Venice. The weather was nice, the sky was clear. There was a cool breeze that blew often.

My team stood across from me and kept a distance away. They were all in suits, JJ and Garcia in nice dresses. Will, Jack and Henry were here too. All but Garcia and the two boys were wearing sunglasses, making them all look very professional.

The funeral felt like it went for hours and when it finally finished and everyone had given us their condolences, we could relax a bit. I made my father walk to the team with me; I didn't want him to think I'd be ditching him for them. JJ stepped forwards on our way to them and she hugged me when we met. "I'm so sorry, Em." She whispered as we parted.

I smiled gratefully and nodded. "Uh…dad, this is my team, team this is my father, Richard Prentiss."

"We are deeply sorry for your loss, sir." Morgan said quietly, taking his glasses off as the others did.

He nodded and looked at me, "You should go eat something with your friends; you haven't had much in the last few days. I'm going to go back to the hotel."

"Dad—"

"I'm not in the mood to argue with you, Emily," He said sternly, "I'll be fine on my own; you won't." He had tears in his eyes and I felt my own tears in mine. They had built up during the funeral and they were threatening to fall now that my father was evidently trying to keep his distance from me. He turned to walk away but stopped and turned back after a few steps, "Oh, and Emily? I think you should really reconsider your occupational choice. Your work is extremely stressful, and god knows that's what killed your mother."

I went to speak but I stopped myself and watched him walk away. I looked at my team, "He's just upset. He's normally not like that; he's usually a lot more offensive and careless."

"You must have had one rough childhood…" Reid said quietly, "Should we be offended of that stressful work comment?"

"Well he's not wrong." Garcia said quietly.

"How are you doing?" Rossi asked me.

"Well, I've been better, I've been worse," I shrugged my shoulders, "We didn't exactly have the best relationship and I didn't like her much, but she was my birth giver, so…" I glanced at Hotch. His eyes were concerned, but nothing affectionate showed. I was hoping maybe he'd give up on the secret and just be here for me, but apparently not.

I sighed and looked back to where my father was, getting into his car. He drove away a few seconds after he closed the door, "Well, that's another family relationship going to hell."

"What?" Morgan gave me a confused look.

"I'm going to bet that he'll move away somewhere and I'll only ever hear from him at Christmas and maybe my birthday."

"Oh, that's next month." JJ frowned.

"Emily, I trust we'll see you at Christmas?" My aunty asked from behind me. She was one of those rich, snobby people that no one liked.

I looked at her at my side. "Sure," I nodded. She nodded before walking away. I rolled my eyes and shook my head before sighing and looking back to my team, "You guys really didn't need to come today."

"Yes we did." Hotch said quietly.

"It's really no problem for us bein' here." Will assured.

"Your father said you haven't eaten much lately; would you like to go to a restaurant?" Rossi asked. I looked behind me as my mother's fresh grave as I thought about it. I didn't feel hungry, but I really hadn't eaten much in the past three days. I probably was hungry but I was just too upset or lost to realise it at the moment.

"Yeah, you do," JJ said quietly as she stepped forwards, "Come on." She put her arm around me and gently pushed me to walk. I forced myself to look away from her grave and I walked where JJ led me.

The team tried their hardest to make me smile and laugh, although it wasn't much use. I never expected myself to be so shaken. I never saw my mother when she was alive, but now I was faced with the fact that she wasn't available if I decided that I wanted to contact her.

* * *

I heard a knock on the door to my hotel room. I put the glass of straight vodka down and walked to the door. Hotch smiled to me when I opened it.

"Hey," I said quietly as I stepped to the side and motioned for him to come in. I closed and locked the door behind him, "Where's Jack?"

"He's with Garcia." He said as he looked at the alcohol. He raised his eyebrows as he held it up to me before walking to the sink and pouring it down, "Emily—"

"It was my first glass," I shook my head, "I'm not drinking my pain away"

He gave me an unsure look.

"I promise." I said as I approached him. I placed a chastised kiss on him lips and then rinsed the glass out. I put it back with the others and turned to look at him, "So, how was your day?"

"Emily." He gave me an obvious look.

I sighed and looked down. He took my hand gently and pulled me to the dining table. He pulled a seat out and motioned for me to sit. He sat across from me and waited silently until I looked up and met his eyes.

"Come on, talk." He sat back and kept his eyes on me.

"About what?"

"Please don't make me ask a million questions. Talk to me, Em."

I took a breath and brushed my hair out of my face, "It's just weird. I hardly ever saw her before, but I knew that if I needed or wanted to contact her then I could. Now, all I'm thinking is that I'm never going to speak to her again. I'm never going to see her or hear her voice," I shook my head and tears filled my eyes, "Just a few months ago, I was thinking to myself that I wanted to…to fix what was wrong, to talk to her regularly and get to know her."

He sat forwards and leant on his arms on the table, listening silently.

"She detested me when she died. Her only child and I couldn't have been more of a disappointment," I shook my head as tears dripped onto my cheeks; "I could never imagine what it would feel like to have a daughter like me. Everything I put her through, everything I said…no wonder her sickness was originally stress induced."

"Emily, this was not your fault." He shook his head.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to believe that," I looked at him for a few seconds of silence as his eyes moved over my face, "Please don't profile me," I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"You look tired; maybe you should get some sleep." He said quietly. I looked down at my hands on the table. "Jack's with Garcia all night. I can stay with you if you want."

I smiled at him before looking down again and nodding, "Thanks."

"Come on," He stood up and held his hand out to me. I took it and stood, relishing the feeling as he placed a few kisses on my lips, "Go get changed."

I nodded and grabbed my bag. I took it into the bathroom and closed the door. I opened it again and looked out, "Hey…don't go anyway, okay?"

"I'll be out here when you're done." He assured with a nod.

I smiled and closed the door again. I had a shower and let myself cry for a short while, my tears mixing and hiding with the shower water. I got out and brushed my hair out before changing into a loose shirt and cotton shorts. I took a breath as I stared at myself in the mirror. I zipped my toiletries bag up, put it in my clothes bag, zipped that up and took it back into the room, dropping it where it was previously.

The light was out and the TV was on; Hotch was lying on the bed. He looked at me and motioned for me to come over. I grabbed my phone from the dining table, plugged it into the charger and then walked to the bed. I sat down and crossed my legs over. Hotch muted the TV and sat up.

"…I told her about you."

"Your mother?"

I nodded, "The day after I got to Spain, two days before she died. I told her all about you. Not the professional Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, but _you_."

"Why?" He asked curiously, "I don't mind, but I'm sure you would have more important things to discuss."

"She asked if I was seeing anyone, I told her everything that came to mind, and she asked me a few questions to help me figure out what I was…I don't know…feeling."

"And what is that?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, uh-uh," I shook my head, "You don't get to know that."

"Why not?"

"Because we've be on _one_ date."

"Is this you trying to hint to me that you're waiting for me to ask you again?"

"Well, I wasn't intending on hinting it, but in a few weeks, feel free to ask me out again."

He nodded, "I'll make a note of it. Now lay down and get some sleep." He lay down and pulled my down with him. I lay against him, my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. He kissed my hair and turned the TV off; he knew it was harder for me to sleep when there was light.

"Dad, come on."

* * *

"I'm staying here for a while longer, Emily. Go back to Virginia, go back to work and think about how your life would be without it. Don't worry about me; I'll be back in America within a few more weeks."

I shook my head, "I don't want to leave you here by yourself." My team was in the room too, sitting silently and watching us.

"Go home." He said more forcefully.

Tears filled my eyes, "Please stop making this more complicated than it needs to be."

" _You're_ making it complicated. You're overthinking it, Emily. You know how much you overthink," He looked past me, "Agent Hotchner, please take care of her."

My eyes widened slightly. I'd hoped the team wouldn't think anything of that. "I can assure you that we will." He nodded to my father. I think that his use of "we" instead of "I" made it sound a lot less suspicious.

"I'll see you in a few weeks, maybe months; I'm not sure yet." He kissed my cheek and walked out of my hotel room. Once he was gone, I looked down to the floor and brushed my hair back with my fingers.

"Now I see where you get your stubbornness from…" Reid said quietly.

I shook my head and sat down with them.

"He'll be okay." JJ said quietly, smiling at me comfortingly.

"I know he will," I nodded, "It's me I'm not so sure about…" I added quietly.

"Well you've got us and your booty call boyfriend." Morgan smirked.

"I swear to god…" I closed my eyes and shook my head. Will, JJ, Reid, Garcia and Morgan all laughed at me. Rossi and Hotch glanced at each other.

"…Can we meet him sometime?" Garcia asked.

"No." I shook my head.

"Why not?" JJ raised her eyebrows.

"Because I _like_ him…" I tilted my head with a smirk. Rossi started to laugh to himself and failed to calm himself down. I glared at him, "Shut up."

"He's like 60." He laughed.

"No he's not! He's 46!"

"Hotch's age?" Reid looked at me.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Imagine that, Emily and Hotch dating." Garcia smirked.

"Oh, I _really_ don't want to picture that." JJ shook her head with a disgusted face.

Hotch, Rossi and I laughed with the rest of them to keep up the show, but it hurt internally. Was she disgusted by that? What would her reaction be when she finally found out? It would happen sometime and we both knew it, but that comment made me feel like we should keep it quiet until it was impossible to.

Conversation picked up between them and Hotch looked at me, "Are you ready to go back to Virginia or do you want a few more days to try and convince your father?"

I shook my head, "No, we should get back to work."

"Well you won't be working for a few weeks." He shook his head.

"What? You can't kick me off the team." My voice was higher than a whisper and the table fell silent again.

"I'm not kicking you off; I'm giving you a few weeks to grieve."

"I don't want to grieve." I shook my head.

"Prentiss—"

"No, Hotch. I will be back in that bullpen on Monday morning, no later than seven."

He sighed, "We'll talk about it later."


	21. Chapter 21

**Prentiss**

Hotch and I had argued about whether I would be returning straight away or not. It was heated and intense, but it was cut short by a case and he wouldn't take me off it. It was brunette women being raped and murdered. They needed me.

It was our first night here in Portland, Oregon, and we had gotten to the hotel after dinner together about a half hour ago. I was sharing a room with JJ, so Hotch wouldn't come to my room to argue again. I wasn't planning on going to his, but when I was sitting on the bed in my room and JJ was in the shower, I felt guilty. Too guilty to ignore it. I knocked on the bathroom door and opened it ajar, "Hey, I'm going out for a while."

"Okay. Please be careful." She replied. I closed the door and walked out of the room and to the next one where Hotch was staying. I took a breath and knocked on his door. It opened within a few seconds and he looked shocked to see me there.

"Emily…"

I looked down, "My mother always told me that I should never go to bed angry. I never followed that until now."

He nodded and stepped to the side. I walked in and he closed the door behind me. "Coffee?"

"Yes please." I smiled and sat down at the table. I looked around the room quietly, thinking about what to say. He placed a coffee mug in front of me and sat down across from me with his own.

I laughed to myself quietly, "Wow, our first fight." He snickered. "Aaron—" A knock on the door interrupted me. I stopped and looked down at the coffee, sipping it silently as he stood up and walked to the door. I heard he and Rossi talk briefly before Hotch thanked him and closed the door again. He sat back down and put a file down beside him.

"Sorry."

"Look, I don't like arguing," I shook my head, "I've lost people in the past who I was closer to and I'll lose people in the future that I'll be closer to. She was my mother, but I also didn't know her. The women we're finding justice for, and the women we'll be saving, are so much more important than my grief."

"In order to help these women, you need to be at your best."

"And I am. If anything, I'm more determined to help them. I know that you and the rest of the team are expecting me to react, to be affected, but I feel fine. I'm really not as bad as you all seem to think."

"I need to be certain that you can work efficiently."

"Well how do you want me to prove that to you? Because I don't know what you want." I shook my head.

He looked down at the coffee mug in his hands and nodded, "I guess I don't really know what I expect you to do…"

I snickered, "Well that doesn't happen often."

He smiled and looked up to my eyes, "I'm not going to try and take you off this case, we need you, but I want you to see your therapist again when we get back to Virginia. Even if it's just once, I need it to be done."

"So one appointment, that's all I need to do and then you'll forget about it?"

His eyebrows furrowed, "I'm not going to forget about it, Emily. It's affected you, there is no way I would forget, but I will let you work unquestioned again."

I nodded, "Thank you." I sipped the coffee and spun the mug around on the table in my hands. "So lunch on Friday in Italy…that was interesting."

"JJ was horrified at the idea…"

"Yeah," I nodded in agreement, "It just makes me wonder what will happen if they do find out."

"They'll find out eventually, we know that. Will their reactions be important to you?"

I looked him in the eyes and shook my head, "No. Well, yes…but it won't change my mind on anything. If they're positive, great. Is their neutral, I'll be a bit worried. If they're negative, I might be a little irritated but it's not their concern or their place to interfere."

"I don't think any of their reactions would be even close to Dave's."

"Well, he's seen a lot. We couldn't be the most unbelievable couple that he knows."

* * *

I stood with my legs slightly apart and my arms out from my sides. Two women circled me, dressed me and taped a wire to my chest. The whole team was in the room with me, Garcia on a web call, telling me details I'd need to remember undercover. I had to change in front of them several times and each time, Garcia and JJ would make jokes about how awkward this must have been to change in front of the four men of our team. Morgan would joke about whether my "booty call boyfriend" would care that I was in a bra in front of them or not.

Rossi listed a few key points of things I needed to say and a list of key points that I needed to refrain from saying. I was meeting the unsub at a bar. He chose the bar, and I was right in thinking that he'd choose the same one that he drugged his other victims in. Morgan and JJ would be posing as a couple inside the same bar, and Rossi would be by himself inside. Reid and Hotch would be outside in a van, looking at the security cameras, the camera that JJ will have hooked onto her bag, listening to the wire on my chest and listening and speaking to the others through their earpieces. I had to wear my hair out to cover my earpiece.

I was posing as a rich woman; he was drawn to the ones with money. We figured that he'd find me irresistible if I were rich, and not just doing _well_.

"Alright, are you ready?" JJ asked me quietly. She, Morgan and Rossi were all already dressed to suit the occasion.

"This is the most uncomfortable dress I've worn in my life." I complained as I walked out with my team.

"Oh, well maybe you should have brought the one that mystery man gave to you." She smirked at my side.

I rolled my eyes, "You'll meet him one day, Jayje. He won't always be "mystery man"."

"Focus on the case, please." Rossi said quietly. I smiled at him appreciatively.

We reached the cars and I gasped, "Oh, and the dress is worth it. I think I'm in love." It was a 2005 Infiniti G35 coupe, coloured black. It was so pretty.

"Wow…" JJ said as she looked through the open window.

"This is the only thing that makes me happy about this." I said quietly, circling the car I'd be driving.

"We need to go…" Morgan reminded.

I looked at Hotch as I leant on the car and put my hands under my chin, "Can I keep him?"

"You can buy one after the case."

"…Can I test the top speed first before I decide if I buy one or not?"

"We're on a case!" Reid laughed at me.

"I'm sure he'll understand if I'm late…" I smiled convincing at Hotch. He shook his head with a hard face. "Afterwards?" I asked hopefully.

Hotch looked at the cop that was accompanying him and Reid in the back of the truck with all the cameras. That cop had supplied the car. He shrugged his shoulders at him.

"We'll see how it goes." Rossi nodded.

"Do not test that speed without me in there with you." JJ said.

I grinned, "I solemnly swear that I will wait until you are beside me."

She nodded and walked towards where Morgan and Rossi were going, "It's so pretty." She said to herself quietly. She looked at me, "Good luck. Remember, when you leave the bar with him, do not go down the alley."

I nodded and she turned and walked to the SUV. The local cop walked to the small truck that contained the computers and camera screens. Hotch looked at Reid and he got the message. He turned and walked to the truck. I looked at Hotch and he took a few steps towards me.

"Are they watching?"

I looked over his shoulder subtly before looking back at him and nodding, "Yeah, they're not even in the car."

He sighed and looked down, "If the plan doesn't work how it's supposed to, get out. Morgan, Dave and JJ will be right there to back you up, but don't pull your gun on him. There will be too many people around."

"I know, Hotch." I said quietly.

"And when you leave with him, if you take a step down that alley, I will be furious with you."

I laughed lightly, "The only reason I would be walking down there would be because he's too strong for me to fight back, so I _won't_ go down there."

He fought the small smile nodded, "Good luck." He turned but I grabbed his arm.

"Wait, what do I say to tell you all that we're leaving, again?"

"You'll need time for the other three to get out before you so that it doesn't look suspicious at all. Make sure you always have some drink left so that when he proposes leaving, you can stall so that the others can leave first. Just say something along the lines of "sure, just let me finish my drink first" or something. When I hear something like that, I'll tell the others to leave."

I nodded, "Okay."

"You're nervous?"

"He rapes and murders middle aged brunette women with money." I said quietly.

He nodded, "If you decide that you can't stay calm during this, excuse yourself to the bathroom, tell me, and I'll call you when you reach the table again. You can claim it's an emergency and that you need to leave."

"…But we need to catch him."

"Emily, we're not going to get him if you're not comfortable and calm in there. We'll have another chance if your reason for leaving isn't suspicious," He looked at his watch, "We need to go now or we'll be late."

I nodded and took a breath. He gave me the keys to the car I'd be driving and I smiled. He wished me luck again before running to the truck. I walked around the car and opened the door. I glanced over to the SUV where JJ was still watching me. I smirked and stepped in. I turned the ignition and waited for the truck to pull out of the lot first, then the SUV, and then I waited a few minutes before pulling out and driving to the bar. 

When I reached the corner, I looked around for the truck where Hotch would be. It was just down the road, around a corner. It wasn't out of sight of the bar but it wasn't suspicious. I could see the SUV in the lot. I pulled in and stepped out of the car. I threw the keys into my clutch and looked around. I walked around towards the front of the bar.

"Keep yourself calm, Prentiss. He has no reason to think you're an agent. Just pretend you're on a normal date." Hotch spoke to me though the earpiece. I took a deep breath and stopped outside the door.

"Can you hear me?" I tested the wire.

"Yeah." Reid confirmed.

"Good luck, pumpkin." I heard Garcia's voice. She must have been on the phone to them, probably helping set things up.

"Thanks Pen." I said quietly. I walked through the doors to the bar.

* * *

"So, what do you do for a living?" He asked. He was attractive. Tan skin, dark hair, a stubble. His eyes were a light brown and he was tall and well dressed. His hair was short and looked a bit messy.

"I'm a shareholder in several large businesses," I lied, "But most of my money is inherited. Only child," I shrugged my shoulders. I sat forwards and leant my arms on the table, "What about you?"

"I help people." He nodded.

I smiled, "How so?"

"Well, I help women. There's always something they need, and most of the time, it's something only a real man can give them."

I nodded, "Well, that's very nice of you." We had already been here for quite a while, approximately two hours.

"Do you want to get out of here?" He asked, sitting forwards.

I smiled, "Yeah, just let me finish my drink first." I said as I lifted the glass and sipped it. As soon as I had said it, I heard Hotch through the earpiece, telling JJ, Morgan and Rossi to leave.

Rossi was sitting behind the unsub, I could see him. He drank back his drink and glanced at me as he stood and walked out. A few seconds later, I saw JJ and Morgan walk past us and out the door, their hands linked to make it seem a lot more believable.

A few minutes past as he talked to me and I smiled and nodded, drinking my drink slowly. "Alright Emily." Hotch said quietly. He _never_ called me Emily at work or anywhere that wasn't in one of our houses together or on the date we had gone on, or if I was upset.

I drank the rest of the drink and smiled at him. He stood up and I followed him, standing and grabbing my clutch. There was an alley down the side of the bar opposite to the parking lot. He held my hand as he walked out and he turned to the right.

"Uh…I've got my car here." I said quietly.

"We can pick it up later; I don't live far." His hand tightened on mine and I took a silent, deep breath. We kept walking and for a second, I thought he was going to just walk straight past the alley, but at the last minute, he ran to the side and yanked me with him forcefully.

I tried to stop him from pulling me down there but he was so much stronger than I originally thought he was. He pushed me against the wall hard and his hand was around my throat. "We're coming! Hold on!" I heard Hotch tell me through the earpiece.

I couldn't breathe, I tried to pry his hand away but it was too tight. He threw me onto the ground and smirked at me as he stood over me. He undid his belt and I tried to pull myself away, still trying to get some air into my lungs.

"Jason Waller! Step away from her!" I heard Morgan yell. I coughed and tried to pull myself up but he pushed me back down with his foot.

"Jason, we won't ask you again," It was Rossi this time, "Step away and put your hands up."

I looked up at him and saw him pull a gun out. He went to turn towards Hotch, who was standing the closest. "Gun!" I grabbed his gun and pointed it away from anyone, over my head. It shot and I kneed him in the crotch. Morgan ran over with is gun ready and rolled him over onto his stomach. He cuffed him and Hotch held his hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me up.

"You okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, thanks." I looked to my left where Morgan had the guy standing against the wall.

"I should have seen it; you're nothing but a useless FBI agent, and you can't be that good if I got to you this easily."

"Shut up." Morgan pushed him hard against the wall. He winced.

I walked up to him and kept a safe distance, "You're going to hell."

He lunged towards me but Morgan held him back and Hotch pulled me backwards towards him. Rossi walked to me and hung his coat over my shoulders; it was cold out and I was only wearing a dress.

"What do you get out of raping and killing these women?" I shook my head.

"It's more about what they get. I help them."

"You help them? You destroyed them!"

"Emily," Hotch scolded lightly, "JJ, take her to the car."

JJ walked over and pulled my arm lightly to make me follow her. We went to the coupe I had driven here. I sat behind the wheel and she sat in the passenger seat. It was silent for a few seconds before she grabbed my clutch from beside me and opened it. She held the keys out to me, "You want to test the speed?"

I stared at her for a few seconds before my lips curled into a smirk and I took the keys. "Hotch is going to kill me," I said quietly, "But you only live once…" I turned the key and started the car. JJ and I both put the seatbelts around us and she smirked at me.

"Let's go."


	22. Chapter 22

**Prentiss**

"Back off, Morgan!" I yelled at him.

"I'm just trying to make sure you're okay."

"And why wouldn't I be?"

"Because your mother—"

"Don't." I cut him off and shook my head.

"It hasn't even been 6 months. You went through a lot with Doyle and on top of that, your mother passed. You haven't acted as controlled as you normally do over the past few cases. The whole team knows you're not okay. JJ hears you crying in your hotel bathroom."

"JJ doesn't know shit." I snapped. I saw the team approaching our desks in the bullpen out the corner of my eye. Garcia and Reid had been talking to Rossi about something and I had seen JJ laughing with Hotch when I had first walked into the bullpen.

"I what?" JJ asked.

"Apparently you don't know shit." Reid said to her.

"Don't get involved in this," Morgan said to them calmly, "Prentiss, I'm just—"

"Well don't! This has _nothing_ to do with you!"

He shook his head, "Em, we're all worried."

"Well you can all forget about it because it doesn't concern you. Excuse me." I turned and walked away from them quickly. I heard footsteps follow me and I knew from the sound that it was Hotch. I walked quickly towards the bathrooms.

It had been three months since my mother died, and I was more emotional than I should have been on the cases since. On top of all of that, it was getting so much harder for me to keep the relationship that Hotch and I shared from JJ and Garcia. I wanted them to know every little thing he did for me, every night he spent with me and made me laugh and every date he took me on, but I also wanted their help. One day he's so happy with me and the next he acts like we're not dating at all. He was sending mixed signals and I didn't know what to feel anymore.

"Emily, wait." He tried. I shook my head and walked into the women's bathroom. The door fell closed behind me and I leant on it, shutting my eyes. "Em, come on hun." He knocked.

I didn't reply or make a sound. I listened to see if he'd walk away.

"I'm going to stand out here until you come out and talk to me and you know that I will, so come on, Emily." He seemed like he cared now, but when I needed him last night, he was nowhere to be found. He didn't answer my calls or my texts. This morning, he said he was sorry and that his phone had died. He was lying, because the call wouldn't have rang out if his phone was dead.

I sighed to myself and wiped under my eyes to remove the tears. I turned and pulled the door open. "What?"

He looked at me for a few seconds, studying my eyes, "My office, come on."

I looked away as I sighed and I walked out, following him back into the bullpen and towards his office. I looked down as I walked and refused to glance at my confused team. I walked into his office and he closed the door behind me, "Sit."

He drew the blinds as I sat down and he stood in front of me, leaning on his desk. "What's going on?"

"With what?"

"Well, let's start with Morgan."

I shook my head, "Nothing."

"Emily, we've talked about this. You need to trust me."

I sighed, "He just tried to get me to take some time off, is all."

"Why?"

"Because he thinks I'm not okay and he's worried."

"Should he be worried?"

"No. If I have to trust you then you have to trust me. I'm fine, Hotch." I was fine for the most part. The only thing knocking me off course right now was what I was going to do about Hotch.

"Okay, I trust you," He nodded, "Now how about what's going on here?" He motioned between us.

"Excuse me?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You're not like you usually are…"

" _I'm_ not like I usually am? _You're_ the one who can't make a damn decision."

"What?" He gave me a questioning look.

"Come on, Aaron," I stood up and stepped back a few paces, away from him, "One minute you're all for it and the next you don't want to be in this at all."

"I don't know what you mean." He shook his head.

"You don't? Hotch, I can't be the only one in this all the time. It's hard enough for me to commit to something like this, but for me to be the _only_ one committed, it makes it so much harder."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm a profiler too, you know. I know what it looks like when someone is in a relationship that they don't want to be."

He raised his eyebrows and shook his head, "Emily, I never said that I didn't want this."

"It's kind of implied."

"No, I don't—I never meant—"

I shook my head, "Look, we're at work. I really don't want to walk out of here in tears so how about we just put this conversation off until tonight?"

He thought about it for a few seconds before nodding, "Okay."

I nodded and walked towards his office door, "It'll give you some time to think of an excuse." I mumbled as I opened the door and walked out.

Garcia had her bag with her and I stopped beside her, "And where are you going?"

"...Nowhere." She lied. I raised my eyebrows. She sighed, "Therapist appointment."

I nodded; she and JJ had both been going to see someone ever since Doyle's return. None of us were exactly the people to be open about people seeing pain in us. I wanted to apologise about Doyle again and what happened to her, but last time, I got a huge lecture and she was angry for days about it. I smiled at her and she walked to the glass doors.

* * *

The day was long but the night was longer. I was clueless as to what to do; Hotch claimed he didn't know what I was talking about, that he didn't intend on acting any different or to confuse me, but I didn't know if he was entirely truthful.

I eventually gave up on the conversation for tonight, we were both exhausted anyway, and neither of us knew what to say. We didn't know whether to end it or keep trying, he didn't know what he wanted and I knew exactly what I wanted. I had a sick feeling that this wouldn't end well, and I hated every second I felt it.

I went back to my apartment despite his efforts to stop me and keep me there with him and I went into work this morning acting as normal as I could. I bet Morgan here and I was sucked right into the world of paperwork. JJ and Reid had played cards at the start of the day as they talked, but they decided it was best to start on their mountains of work too at some point. I didn't even see Morgan come in and he hadn't greeted me, it wasn't until an hour or so past that I stopped writing and looked at him behind me. I took a breath and stood up. I glanced at JJ and Reid as they watched me approach his desk warily. JJ grabbed her phone and unlocked it without looking, probably to text someone if I was going to start anything this morning. The tension between the two of us had not gone unnoticed, apparently, and they must have thought that it'd get a lot worse if they were watching us like this.

I stood beside his desk and he continued writing, "Yes?" He asked quietly.

"Put the pen down for a second? Please?" I spoke at a low volume as not to disturb anyone else around the bullpen. I heard two office doors open and I glanced up, seeing both Rossi and Hotch in their doorways, watching us intently. "Oh, am I really this unpredictable?" I asked myself quietly.

He let out a sigh and dropped his pen. He sat back in his chair and looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I'm sorry," I continued to speak quietly, "I was way out of line and I know that you were concerned and you were only trying to help. I was just already worked up over something else and I took it out on you when I really shouldn't have. I'm so sorry."

He looked at his desk for a few seconds and I assumed he was thinking about whether he'd accept the apology or not. He looked up at me and nodded, "Okay, so what's going on?"

I looked down and bit my lip, "It's really nothing important. It's just "booty call" guy." I figured I owed him at least a vague explanation.

"You're fighting with him?"

"No." I shook my head.

"You broke up with him?" He guessed again. I shook my head. "…He broke up with you?"

I cleared my throat, "No, but I have a feeling he's going to." We weren't speaking quietly anymore and Hotch and Rossi would both be able to hear this is they were listening hard enough.

"Why do you think that?" JJ asked from her desk.

I shrugged my shoulders, "The whole things pretty complicated, but in shorthand, I just don't think he's really feeling what he says he is. He just seems too indecisive with the situation."

"Have you talked to him?" Reid asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, but neither of us really knew what to say…I mean, I called him out on wanting to be with me one minute and then wanting nothing to do with me the next, but after that, I had no idea how to approach the issues within our relationship and he didn't have a clue either."

"Well he doesn't sound very smart." Garcia said from behind me.

"Oh no, he's smart; he's just…careful."

"Does he have kids?" JJ asked.

"Why?"

"Well maybe he just isn't sure if it's the best thing for his child if he has one. Maybe he thinks the kid will get the wrong impression on him or women or something."

I nodded, "He has a child, but he's old enough to understand."

"You've got to ask yourself whether this guy is worth your time, tears and concentration." Morgan said.

"Picture yourself in five years' time. We're obviously all with you, because you would never leave us, but is he there too?" Garcia asked, "If he's not, then let him go. If he is, then fight because he's worth it, girl."

"And if you make this decision and you decide that he's worth it, then you're really going to need to set up a night for the team to meet him because you know that no one is worth it if they can't get along with us."

"Does anyone _really_ get along with Morgan?" I joked. They all laughed and Morgan pushed me away playfully. I walked back to my desk and sat back down.

"It's only been an hour and I'm already so sick of this." JJ said quietly.

"Cards again?" Reid offered.

"Yes." She spun around in her chair and wheeled herself to his desk.

"Anyone else up for a game?" He asked.

"Hallelujah." Garcia said quietly. She walked over and sat on the side of Reid's desk. Morgan accepted the offer and joined them.

"Come on Em, you know you want to." Garcia smirked at me.

I sighed and smiled, "Alright." I pulled my chair over and watched Reid as he dealt the cards out.

* * *

" _Emily, please call me back. I lost count of how many messages I've left, you won't pick up my calls or answer my texts. I need to talk to you. Call me back."_ I listened to the latest of many messages Hotch had left me tonight.

I heard a knock on my door a few minutes later and I groaned to myself. I knew it was him and I knew he wouldn't leave. He's bust the door down before he went home. I stood up and walked to the front door, looking briefly through the peep hole to confirm him before I opened the door. "What?"

"Please let me talk to you." His voice sounded almost desperate. It was quite late, around midnight, and I was only awake because I couldn't bring myself to sleep with all of this going through my mind. I sighed and stepped to the side.

"Where's Jack?" I asked as I closed and locked the door again.

"He stayed at a friend's house tonight. They have an early start to a fieldtrip in the morning so I let him go."

I nodded as I yawned.

"Did I wake you?"

I shook my head, "No, I was already up." I sat down on the couch and looked at him as he paced in front of me across the coffee table.

"I haven't slept for more than a few hours each night over the past few weeks. I have been thinking nonstop about us and where I want us to be. Now I'm still not sure about it, but I know that this isn't it," He shook his head, "Emily, you're important to me and I never intended on making you feel anything less. I don't know, maybe I was distracted by work and I wasn't listening to you, maybe you were getting changed or wearing little clothing and that distracted me when I wasn't listening to you, but I never meant for this to happen. Things were going well, it was working. I don't know where it all went wrong but I know it was my fault and I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, "You have nothing—"

"Let me finish. Please?" He looked at me with distressed eyes, "Look, I don't know where I went wrong or how or why I did it, but whatever I did to make you feel like I didn't want to be with you was misleading. I thought I loved Haley, and I did, and I thought I loved Beth, but Emily, I know now that I never loved them as much as I do you. Whatever it was that I did, I am begging you to forget about it or let me redeem myself or something because I am so sorry…and I love you. Jack loves you, and you're so good with him. He sees you as a surrogate mother now, and our jobs; who cares about the rules. Tell the team if you want to, I'll resign if I have to, just please, please don't give up on this."

Tears were in my eyes and threatened to fall. I bit my lip and looked down, "I was never giving up on this; I just thought you were."

"But you've been shutting me out."

"I was just trying to think clearly and see if I could make a decision on what I wanted."

"And what do you want?" He asked. His eyes were filled with hope, fear and anxiety.

"…You." I said quietly. He closed his eyes briefly in relief before walking around the table. I sat up and his lips collided with mine. He laid me backwards again and climbed over me. His lips didn't leave mine for a long while.

* * *

I woke up to his phone ringing in the early hours. I lay on my back on the couch and Hotch was over me, asleep with his head against my chest. My fingers were running softly and mindlessly through his hair repeatedly. I closed my eyes and tried to block the sound out. After his stopped ringing, mine started. I sighed and woke him up gently, "Our phones." I said quietly as he lifted his head.

He sat up but kept one arm around my waist as he reached for my phone. He handed it to me and he took his own. I answered the call, "Hey Pen."

"I'm so sorry to be calling so early pumpkin, but I need your help."

"My help? With what?" I asked as I sat up.

"Garcia?" Hotch asked me. I held my finger to my lips to hush him, "Is she okay?" He asked.

I hit his arm, "Shut up." I hissed at him quietly.

"Are you with mystery man?"

"Yeah…Penelope what's going on?"

"I'm at the hospital…I'm okay though, it's nothing serious. I was driving home late and a car hit mine; Esther is gone but I'm completely fine. The only problem is they won't let me out without someone here to pick me up and no one else answered their phones."

"Who's Esther?"

"My car. She's totalled."

"And you're sure that you're okay?"

"Yeah. I've got a few cuts and bruises but I'm fine. My doctor said I'm fine and I feel great."

"Okay, which hospital?" I asked as I stood up and brushed my hand through my hair.

"Hospital!?" Hotch asked me loudly in a shocked tone.

"Shut up!" I yelled at him quietly.

"Uh…pumpkin…was that Hotch?"

"Which hospital, Penelope?"

"Stafford."

"Okay, I'll be there soon," I hung up and looked at Hotch, "Why would you do that?"

"Is she okay? Is everyone else okay? What happened?"

"Aaron, she heard you and she knew it was your voice. She asked if I was with mystery man, I said yes, and then she heard your voice. She knows."

"…Well if you don't want the others to know then ask her to keep it between us. Please tell me what's going on?"

"Someone hit her; her car's been totalled but she's fine. They just won't let her leave without someone picking her up." I said as I went upstairs quickly. I took the first outfit I found and threw it on. I brushed my hair quickly and walked back downstairs. Hotch took my keys before I got them.

"I'm driving."

"What? No, you can't come. I have to come up with a lie as to why she heard your voice. It'll give it away if you're with me."

"She's not stupid, Emily. She won't believe a single lie you throw at her and you know she won't."

I sighed, "Fine." I followed him out and we walked downstairs to my car quickly.


	23. Chapter 23

**I've had a shit day; so shit that I couldn't even go to school, so I'm publishing another chapter tonight to distract me and hopefully lift some of you if you're in a low mood too (and I'm sorry if you are; it sucks, right?).**

 **-A xx**

 **Prentiss**

We picked Garcia up and Hotch talked to two different doctors to confirm that she was okay before we drove her home. It was silent when we drove; Hotch and I didn't know what to say to her and she didn't know what to say to us. We stopped outside her apartment building and she thanked and apologised to us before getting out.

"Wait," I said as I got out of the car as she walked up the path. She stopped and turned around. I closed the car door and ran over to her, "Garcia, you know, don't you?"

"That Hotch is your mystery man? Yeah, I know, I'm just still trying to get my head around it…"

I sighed and looked away from her, "Penelope, I need you to keep this between us. Please? It's against bureau rules and that why I couldn't tell you. Hotch would have lost his job and I might have too. Trust me Pen, I would have told you if I could. Believe me, I wanted to."

She smiled, "You don't have to justify yourself to me, honeybun. You're allowed to have some privacy in your life; besides, I looked into your life to see if I could find out who it was. I kind of already guessed."

"And you didn't tell anyone?"

She shook her head, "Never."

I nodded, "Thank you. Rossi knows but the others, they can't. We can't risk it."

"I understand," She nodded with a smile, "You should go get some rest before work. We've only got a few hours."

"Where were you?" I questioned her.

"What?"

"Why were you driving so late?"

"I couldn't sleep so I went for a drive. Bad choice." She shook her head.

I smiled, "Well I'm glad you're okay." She thanked me and I walked back to my car. I looked at Hotch at my side, "Two out of five."

"What'd she say about it?" He said as he pulled back onto the road once he saw Garcia go inside.

"She said that she kind of already knew. She looked into my life because she wanted to find out who you were. But she said she'd keep it between us."

"Is that what you want? You can tell the other three if you want to." He said, glancing at me.

I shook my head, "I just don't know how it will all go down. Morgan is one of those people that will look at all the risks of it and he'll know that it risks our jobs and the team. He probably won't be too supportive. Reid's been a little distracted and weird lately; I think something's happening with his mother. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't want to give him something else to worry about. JJ will be furious with me."

"So you're going to keep it from her longer?"

"I just don't know what I want to do yet, okay?"

"Okay." He nodded.

* * *

I sat at my desk and looked at the paperwork in front of me but I listened to Garcia and Morgan argue behind me. It wasn't serious, it was about me, but it was more entertaining than the work.

"Penelope, just tell me."

"I can't!"

He sighed, "Fine, I guess I'll just ask her again. Hey Em?"

I turned my chair around, "Yes?"

"When do we get to meet booty call guy?"

"You will." I assured.

"But when?"

"Soon enough," I glanced at Garcia, "Why are you guys talking about it?"

"She knows! That's not fair." He complained.

I smirked and looked at JJ as she approached, "We've got a case."

We stood and followed her to the round table room. Rossi and Hotch walked in beside us and I refrained from smiling at my boyfriend as he sat down beside me. Morgan seemed to be on high alert lately; I didn't want to give him a clue.

Four families had been slaughtered in their homes in daylight. The parents and two children each time. There were two different types of M.O and on top of that, there was a call made after every murder by a man who claimed that his brothers killed them. There was one family murdered each day over the past four, which means there would most likely be another today. We would be travelling to Lawrence, Massachusetts and we would be running against a clock to find the unsub by noon. The families were all murdered after noon. We would have four hours by the time we got there, and the odds of us finding them before another family was executed were very slim. I don't think we've ever been close before 48 hours, maybe 40 if we worked hard nonstop and there was significant leads to work on to start with. We were good at our jobs, but no one was _that_ good.

"Can everyone be at the airstrip in 10?" Hotch asked. We all nodded and he stood up, walking out and removing his phone from his pocket. I assumed he'd be calling Jessica. I picked up the file in front of me and stood as the others did. JJ got her phone out and walked of the room too, dialling a number who I assumed would be Will.

Garcia sighed, "I have to cancel my date." She muttered sadly as she got her phone out too.

Reid smiled at me before walking out.

"I need coffee. Do you want me to pick some up for you guys on my way to the plane?" Rossi asked Morgan and I.

"Please." I smiled.

"Yeah man, thanks." Morgan nodded. Rossi walked out and Morgan looked at me, "Massachusetts we go."

I smiled weakly and we walked out and towards our desks. I grabbed my go bag and walked out with Morgan, JJ and Reid with me.

* * *

Four days and three more dead families and we knew our unsubs. Landon Montgomery, David Montgomery and Brady Montgomery. Brady was the youngest and we had learnt that he was the one who made the calls, and he helped restrain the victims but he didn't kill them directly. The adults were beaten up, shot in both kneecaps and then stabbed in the abdomen. The knife was big and twisted inside of them. Their cause of death was loss of blood. After lengthy research on the unsubs, we determined that David did these killings.

The children were forced to watch their parents die, then the other unsub, Landon, would slit their throats.

They were insane, these brothers. They didn't care who saw them around or who heard what was happening. All they cared about was the murder and the thrill they got from it. It was dangerous, and we had just found the next family that they would target today. We didn't have much time.

"Hotch, please," I followed him out of the station, "Just promise me. Promise that if we decide to raid, we raid together. The whole team, not just you."

"Emily, it's too dangerous. They have no remorse and no hesitation whatsoever. If they see us, the Jenson family and whoever agent they see are dead. They will kill anyone that gets in their way."

"And that is exactly why we need to stick together."

He looked away from me and pursed his lips before shaking his head, "I can't—"

"Please?" I cut him off. My voice was desperate.

He closed his eyes before they met mine again, "Okay. I promise."

I sighed in relief, "Thank you." He put his hand on my cheek and I assumed he was about to kiss me but he dropped it to his side quickly and I heard the station door open behind me. I turned and looked at the exiting team.

"We've got the address." Morgan said as they walked past us.

"I'm calling SWAT." The local cop said as he and several of his men ran out after the team. Hotch and I glanced at each other before following them. I went with Rossi and Reid and Hotch went with Morgan and JJ.

Reid handed me a vest when we reached the house and I put it on, tightening the straps and fastening it to me. I took my hair out of the ponytail and retied it, pulling the parts back that I fallen out during the morning. I joined the line my team was in and stood between Rossi and Hotch. SWAT was here already. The agents were ready and they had three of them with binoculars, looking through the windows of the big house. The Jenson's were rich, and you didn't need to see their house to know it. You could tell just by looking at the members of the family and their attire.

"What do we do, Hotch?" Morgan asked from the other side of Rossi.

"We wait." He said as he looked around.

A short while past before he walked over to the local police and the SWAT leader. I watched him talk to them for a while before I looked at JJ. She looked very stressed out. She wanted to move in like I did, but we couldn't do anything until Hotch gave the word.

"Dave." Hotch called. I looked back over to him and he motioned for Rossi to go to him. Rossi walked over to them and I took a step to my right, closer to Morgan.

I looked at him, "How long do you think we'll have to stand here and do nothing?"

"We don't even know if they're inside."

"We profiled that they spend hours in there with the family tied up. They kill them after noon, and it's almost noon now. They're in there." Reid said.

"Okay, so the father is George Jenson, the mother is Caroline Jenson, daughter Dariah Jensen and son Adam Jenson. Dariah is eight, Adam is five." JJ spoke to us quietly. Her eyes didn't move from the front door of the house.

Rossi walked back over and tapped Morgan's shoulder. Morgan took a few steps back and Rossi whispered to him. I heard my name, but that was all. Morgan nodded slowly and walked back to where he previously stood.

"What was that?" I asked him.

"Nothing." He shook his head. Rossi whispered something to both JJ and Reid and I gave him a questioning look when he returned to my left side this time.

"What is going on?" I asked him quietly.

"Don't worry about it." He brushed my question off.

"Let's go!" I heard the SWAT leader yell to his agents. I looked at them as they moved quickly and I looked around the police cars. I couldn't see Hotch anywhere. When I looked back towards the house, I saw him behind a SWAT agent, running towards the house with his gun out.

"HOTCH! I yelled. I went to run forwards but Morgan grabbed me and held me back. "AARON!" I struggled in Morgan's arms and when I got one arm free from him, Rossi grabbed it and assisted in holding me back. Minutes passed since he entered the house with the SWAT leaders and I began to stop struggling and calmed down.

I felt both of their hands loosen on me but they didn't let go entirely. Then I heard a gunshot and they tightened instantly as I struggled again. "Let go!" I yelled at them.

"Emily!" Morgan tried to get me to calm down. I got out of Rossi's hands and then I slapped Morgan away from me but Reid and JJ both caught me. Morgan held me again, being the strongest, and we heard another two gunshots.

Tears fell from my eyes and my body weakened. Morgan let go and I dropped to the ground in sobs. JJ crouched at my side and put her hand on my back. She was looking between me and the house and she looked so confused, as well as Reid and Morgan.

"Rossi…" I choked out, "He told you to keep me back, didn't he?"

"Yeah." He admitted quietly.

I wiped the tears from me cheeks and tried to stop the sobs that kept leaving me. I looked at the house and saw the front door open. Several SWAT agents walked out, and I felt sick for a few seconds until he walked out too. I stood up and shook JJ off as I ran to him. He looked so guilty as he saw me approach him. I met him on the grass and threw my arms around his neck. He caught me and held me to him. I still had tears falling. My hand on his arm felt wet; when I looked at it, there was blood. "Oh my god!"

"Relax, it's just a gunshot wound in the arm. Not fatal; I could still shoot a gun…"

"You shot him?"

"I shot Landon, someone of SWAT shot David and Brady was arrested."

"But you're okay?"

He nodded and I stood on my toes, pressing my lips to his. One hand was on his cheek and the other was on his arm. He had one on the small of my back and another in my hair. When our lips parted, I dropped my head to the side and rested it on his shoulder, "I love you." I said for the first time. I had never returned it when he said it.

He put a finger under my chin and lifted my head to look at his again, and he kissed me again. He did a few times before I pulled away, "Aaron…I know the team is currently watching us…and we're still on the job."

He sighed and dropped his hands to his sides, "Well, I guess they know now."

"Yeah… _booty call guy_ ," I teased with a laugh, "Come on, the ambulances are over there."

"I don't need an ambulance."

I rolled my eyes, "Hey, can you please get a medic over here? He's been shot." I said to a local cop who was walking past us from the house. He nodded and walked towards the ambulances.

"Was that necessary?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Well, you're bleeding all over me." I held my hand up that had his blood on it and then motioned to the spot of blood on the side of my shirt.

He smiled, "Sorry."

"You owe me a shirt." I smirked.


	24. Chapter 24

**Prentiss**

"Wait, so _you're_ the mystery man?" JJ asked Hotch. She was sitting beside Reid across from Hotch and I, Rossi was sitting on the couch to my right and Morgan stood beside him.

"No, he's the booty call." Morgan said.

"He's a liar, is what he is." I said quietly.

"What?" He looked at me.

"You promised me and then you broke that promise." I kept my eyes on the book I was holding in front of me.

"Nothing happened."

"You got shot." My voice was agitated.

"And it would have been worse if I brought you all in with me."

I shook my head and snapped the book shut. I put it down and walked to the other end of the plane. I walked into the small bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I shouldn't have been as angry as I was. I took a few deep breaths and washed my face. I splashed water up my arms to cool my down and then I dabbed the water off with paper towel.

"Calm down." I said quietly to myself.

I heard a small knock on the door, "Em?" JJ asked. I unlocked and opened the door. She looked at me, "I've been instructed to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, I'm just angry that he lied. When we argue, all he talks about is trust. But I don't know how he expects me to trust him if he keeps lying to me. He's does it more than I'd like to think about."

"Do you want to talk?" She asked quietly.

"No, I just want to go home and see Sergio and Jack and go to sleep."

She smiled and looked down, "You see him as your own, don't you? Jack."

"I would never in a million years even _think_ about replacing Haley, but I'll always be there for him, I will always do just about anything for him and I will never let him forget about his mother or how great his father is."

She smiled again as she looked into my eyes for a few seconds, "I've always told you; I can see you with children."

I smiled and looked down, "Well he's not mine, so does it really count?"

"You're playing the maternal role in his life now. You're all he has."

"He has Jessica."

"She'll always be the aunt."

I shrugged my shoulders and walked out of the bathroom. We both walked back down the plane and I sat back down where I was previously. They all looked at me so I just rolled my eyes and picked my book back up.

"I just can't believe you told Rossi and Garcia but you didn't tell the three of us." Morgan said.

"You trusted _Garcia_ , but not _me_?" JJ asked me, raising her eyebrows.

"Garcia knew on accident. _Someone_ talked and she heard him over the phone," I looked at Hotch at my side, "And she also looked into my life. Apparently the curiosity overcame her."

"And Rossi?" Reid asked. I looked at him before glancing at Hotch and then to Rossi.

"She came to me the morning after they slept together for the first time in a huge panic," Rossi explained, "I wasn't shocked, though. I already knew what Aaron thought of her and I had seen the way she looked at him. It was only a matter of time."

"And how long has this been going on?" JJ asked.

"Well, after Doyle, he offered me all the support he could give and he kept me close, you know, making sure I didn't close myself off from everyone or leave or something, and then…I don't know…we kind of just ended up spending more and more time together and here we are. However, he only took me on the first date after that lunch we had where you all questioned me on him."

" _That_ long ago?" JJ asked, "Well, I guess it's not extremely long, but the way the two of you have been interacting and talking to each other all day since this morning, it just seems like longer."

"But they _did_ have a thing before that," Morgan reminded, "Otherwise we wouldn't have had anything to question her on at the lunch."

I laughed to myself, "He's scared of Sergio."

"No I'm not." He shook his head.

"Really? Because I was lying on my bed in lingerie that _you_ told me to put on, and you stood in the corner of my room, begging me to move him, until I got up and took him from the dresser out of the room and closed the door on him."

"Maybe I just didn't want him to watch us." He challenged.

"Every single time you come over and he comes near you, you move to a different room and make me follow you if we're in the middle of a conversation."

"Alright, let's just drop the subject." He said, trying to hide his smirk.

* * *

"Welcome home my angels!" Garcia greeted us with a smile as we walked through the elevator doors.

I winked and clicked my tongue at her as I walked past. Hotch followed close behind me and the others stopped to talk to her. I heard our names as I walked through the glass doors.

"They're going to be discussing us for days." Hotch said as he stopped beside me at my desk.

"Well, if you hadn't lied, the majority of them still wouldn't know."

He sighed, "You can't be angry at me for doing what was best for the team."

"I'm not angry at you for doing what was best for the team; I'm angry at you for _lying_ to me, Aaron."

"You made me make a promise that you knew I couldn't keep."

"No, you were fully capable of making a different decision."

"I did what I could that would both solve the case and keep the team safe."

"We're not here for you to keep us safe; we're here to catch the criminals, to work and have each other's backs."

"I was keeping you safe." He said quietly.

"I can take care of myself, Hotch. And you didn't need to ask Morgan and Rossi to hold me back."

"If you knew that I asked them to hold you back, then you tried to follow me. You can take care of _your_ self, and I can take care of _my_ self."

"If you couldn't keep the promise, then you should have told me that you couldn't."

"I tried." He defended.

I thought back to our conversation. He had tried, but I had cut him off and begged him to promise me. That made me feel guilty; I was angry at him over something I practically forced him to do. I let out my signature sigh and looked down to my right, "You're right; I didn't really give you a choice. I'm sorry, I was just scared."

"It can't happen again, especially not now that the whole team knows. It's too unprofessional."

I nodded, "I know, I'm sorry."

He looked around briefly before he looked back at me and placed a quick kiss on my lips. The team was walking in at the time so they would have seen it, but I think he was more looking for someone like Cruz or anyone that could catch us breaking the rules and feel responsible for doing something about it.

He walked away and towards his office and I turned to my desk. I looked up when I sensed the team there, dropped my eyes back to what I was doing, and then looked at them again straight away when I realised that they were all staring at me with smirks. "…What?"

"That was adorable." Garcia said in an excited, high pitched voice.

"Adorable?" I looked at her and moved my eyes to JJ, "Or does the idea of it disgust you?"

"What?"

"Think back to Italy." I smirked, picked up files and sliding them into my bag. I turned and went to walk towards Hotch's office but JJ grabbed my arm.

"I didn't mean to offend you. It was just weird to imagine. My best friend with our boss…I never thought Hotch would break the rule."

I looked down, "Yeah…well let's hope it lasts. I'm tired, so goodnight." I smiled at the team and then turned, walking up the steps. I knocked and opened the door. He looked up from his paperwork. "Jack home tonight?" I asked.

He nodded.

I smiled, "Well I'm going to my place. Good night." I walked to him and kissed his cheek as I spoke. I walked back towards the door.

"Wait," He stopped me before I left, "You can stay at my house tonight if you want. I was about to head home anyway."

I bit my lip and looked away, thinking about it.

"Something's bothering you."

"What? No." I shook my head. If the bullet had gone a few inches to the shooters left, the bullet would have hit his chest. It was close and he was shot only in the arm by luck.

"Emily, come stay with me tonight." He nodded. He knew what I was thinking about. "I'm okay."

I smiled and nodded, "I'll wait out there for you." I walked out of his office and closed the door behind me.

* * *

"You've been reading that book for weeks." Hotch said as he sat down beside me on the bed. I was already lying underneath the blankets with the lamp on. I felt like we were an old couple.

"Reid lent it to me and I haven't been reading much lately." I said as I looked at him.

"Reid would have read it a hundred times since you've had it." He smirked. He placed a kiss on my lips as he lay down. He flinched when he accidently put pressure on his right arm.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"…Why are you apologising?" He laughed.

"I don't know." I laughed with him.

I heard Jack knock on the door and he opened it, "Hey dad, I think I left my math book at Aunt Jess's."

"What are you doing up?" Hotch asked him. He looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand, "It's really late, buddy."

"It's only 11, dad..."

"That's late. I'll text Jess and we'll pick it up on the way to school, okay?"

"But I have heaps of homework I need to do in it."

"Well I can't go get it now. Go to bed, Jack."

Jack turned and walked out with a sigh, "Can't sleep." He murmured. Hotch went to get up but I put my hand on his forearm to stop him.

"Relax, you're arm hurts. I'll go." I threw the blankets off me and walked out behind him, trying my hair up loosely as I walked down the hall. I walked into his room and he sat on top of his blankets. His bed was still made, "Do you think maybe you can't sleep because you haven't actually gone to bed yet?" I asked him from the doorway. I raised my eyebrows and smiled when he looked at me.

He looked down at a small photo in front of him. I walked forwards and sat on the side of his bed. I looked at the photo of Haley. He looked up at me, "I miss her."

I smiled apologetically, "Honey, she died protecting you. She was a hero."

"Do you miss your mum?" He asked quietly.

I nodded, "I do, but I wasn't nearly as close with my mum. Now that she's gone, I wish I had talked to her more. Haley loved you, Jack. She loved you so much and she never stopped loving you."

"I know, I just wished could talk to her again."

I remembered the story Hotch told me about how he used to light a candle every night that he was with Jack after Haley's death. They lit it and talked to her. I stood up, "Hold on." I walked out quickly and went down the hall. I went into the ensuite and got the lighter out of the mirror cupboard.

"What are you doing?" Hotch asked when I walked back in.

"Where's the candle you used to light every night with him?"

"There…" Hotch pointed to the candle on top of the dresser. "Why?"

"I'll be back." I grabbed the candle and walked back down to Jack's room. I sat back down beside him, lit the candle and gave it to him.

He smiled, "I remember this. Do you think this works?"

"I think it's worth a shot." I smiled. I kissed his forehead, stood and I walked to the door. "Make sure you blow the candle out before you go to sleep, and please get some sleep."

"Thanks Emily." He smiled.

I nodded and closed the door behind me. I put the lighter back in the ensuite and walked back to the bed where Hotch waited for me. "He misses Haley." I explained to him what happened and he smiled at me.

"Thank you for that."

I nodded and kissed him a few times before lying down.

"Tease…" he said quietly.

"You have a hole in your arm."

"You're still angry with me."

"Hey, I'm trying not to be here…"

He sighed and kissed my cheek, "I love you."

I rolled onto my back and smiled at him, "I love you too."


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys! So I'm leaving tomorrow (Friday) for a softball tournament over the weekend so this will be the last update until Monday. Sorry!**

 **-A xx**

 **Prentiss**

Weeks, almost a month had passed since the team found out about us, and Hotch and I had been in the biggest fight I had ever been involved in over the past few days. Every little thing that happened, we found a way to scream at each other about it. I had left his place last night mid fight and I wouldn't pick up his calls or answer his furious texts. Last night, he had said that he wasn't sure that our relationship was what was best for Jack. He didn't want Jack to forget about Haley and think of me as his mother, like he was growing to every day over the past few weeks. I had even cried and it was a huge blow to my pride.

I walked into the precinct and sat down at my desk.

"…Hey," JJ said, "No greeting this morning?"

"Hi." I said to her quietly.

"And Morgan, Reid and Garcia." She motioned for me to spin my chair around.

I sighed and spun around, looking at the three of them, "Hi. Can I work now or do I need to have a full conversation that I don't want to have?" I asked JJ.

She looked at me questioningly, "Sorry…"

I spun my chair back around and rested my head in to my hand as I opened a file. My phone rang then. "Oh my god!" I said irritably as I picked it up, "What?"

"…Is this Emily Prentiss?"

I sighed, "Yes, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to say that at all."

"This is Sally from Visual Health; your glasses are ready to be picked up."

"Okay, thank you for letting me know. I'll come get them now." I stood up and grabbed my bag as I hung up.

"What are you getting?" Reid asked.

"I'll be back," I said as I picked up my coat and slipped it on as I walked back towards the glass doors, "Tell Hotch I won't be long!" I called to them as I walked out. I made my way down to the parking lot and drove to the optical clinic. I walked into the small place and waited at the desk until someone could assist me. I told them I had a very limited time to spend here so they got right to sizing the frames to my liking before they put the two pairs into the boxes you're supposed to keep them in and put them in the bag.

I made my way back to the precinct quickly and reached the sixth floor as fast as I could. I saw the team in the conference room as I walked through the glass doors. Reid waved me in and I nodded. I put the optometrist bag into my drawer and took out one of the pairs of glasses. The plain black ones that I much preferred over the dark marble patterned frames. I slipped them on as I walked up the stairs quickly and to the team. I sat down at my place at the round table where I always sat and they all looked at me, "What?"

"Nothing…four eyes." Morgan smirked.

I took them off quickly and dropped them on the table above the file that I was looking at, "Wow…twenty-twenty vision to…like…ten-twenty vision." I said quietly.

Hotch was sitting beside me and lifted them up, "Thanks for telling me you were getting them. Put them back on."

"Wouldn't want to get too close…" I mumbled as I took them from his hand and slipped them back on.

"You look adorable." Garcia smiled. I looked at her and pushed the glasses up onto the bridge of my nose properly with my middle finger. She laughed, "Can't wait to see that gesture every day."

"Case." I raised my eyebrows.

* * *

I was walking around the beach of Pensacola, Florida, with Hotch. The whole team was walking around the city in the unsub's comfort zone and asking locals questions. He had paired me with him so he could talk to me when we drove here, but I kept on the case and it was all I allowed myself to talk about or listen to.

"Agent, you say? FBI? You look too pretty to be an agent." A shirtless, rather attractive man said to me, looking me up at down, "It's hot out, and you are on a beach. You should dress down a bit."

Hotch pushed me a step backwards gently and stepped forwards towards the guy, "Back off, buddy."

"Ah…the boyfriend," He nodded. He laughed and looked at me again, "To answer your question, pretty lady…no, I haven't seen him around."

"Thank you for your time." I nodded. I grabbed Hotch's arm and pulled him backwards to walk away. We walked away and the man went back to the two friends he was here with. " _That_ was not professional." I said quietly.

"He was hitting on you."

"Still not your place to intervene the way you did. Here, you're my boss. At home, I don't even know what you are." I shook my head and sped up my pace.

"Prentiss." He grabbed my arm and turned me back to face him. He shook his head, "What does that even mean?"

"We're not meant to fight this often." I said quietly.

"It's just a rough part of it. It happens. Granted, your stubbornness and mine mixed together make it a whole lot harder than other couples."

Unwelcome tears filled my eyes, "God, I wish I could believe that." I shook my head and turned around. I walked towards the car and saw Morgan and JJ pull up behind ours.

"Find anything?" JJ asked as they stepped out of the car.

I shook my head, "No."

"What's Hotch doing?" Morgan asked. I thought he was right behind me. I turned and saw him sitting on a chair with his head in his hands. I felt so guilty after seeing it. I knew it wasn't just the case stressing him out; it was me as well.

"Oh…uh…the case is just stressing him out a bit. He'll be fine." I nodded and forced a smile.

"You're fighting…and you have been for a while." Morgan called me out.

I sighed, "Is it that obvious?"

"Hotch doesn't react to cases like this," JJ motioned to him, "And you've been really irritable and the two of you both try to avoid being around the other or looking at each other."

"Except for today, apparently," Morgan added, "So why's he really doing that?"

I looked back towards him briefly, "He doesn't think that our relationship is best for Jack. That is just what we are currently fighting about, but it's everything over the past few weeks. If you can think of an argument of any topic, we've probably had it. He might be doing that right now because I might have said that here he was my boss, but I didn't know what he was at home…and I might have made a comment that might have indicated that I don't believe that our relationship will last much longer…"

"There were a lot of "might's" is there…" JJ said.

"Just…don't worry about it. He'll be fine," I turned around and looked at him, "Hotch! Let's go!" I called to him. He stood up and walked towards us.

"You okay, man?" Morgan asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah. We should get back to the station."

The two of them looked at me as Hotch got the keys out of his pocket and walked around the SUV. I shook my head to tell them not to say anything and they nodded. They went back to the car they were in and I walked to the passenger seat of the car Hotch was in.

"Belt." He said quietly when I got in the car.

I looked at him for a few seconds before reaching above my right shoulder and pulling the belt over me. "Can we please just not fight until this case is over?" I asked when he started driving once he heard the belt click

"I thought that was what we were planning on doing."

"Well you paired us together when we were already fighting and you did it to talk to me so this is—" I stopped myself from finishing but he finished the sentence for me.

"My fault. You're saying this is my fault." He nodded.

"Not everything; but yeah, this argument right now wouldn't have happened if you just sent me with Morgan like every other time."

"I feel better when you're with me." He said quietly.

"He's not even hunting brunette women; he's hunting men. I'm not even in danger…"

"Just—we're not fighting about it now." He shook his head.

* * *

The two hour flight back to Quantico felt too long. It was quiet and I sat across from Reid in the corner of the plane so that I didn't need to talk to Hotch. Hotch, Rossi and Morgan sat together on the set of four seats and JJ was lying on the couch, although she wasn't sleeping. She stared at the roof the whole time.

I walked into the precinct and sat down at my desk. Hotch and Rossi went to their offices, Garcia was talking to the other three like she always did when they got back, although I was usually involved in the conversation too.

"You want to come out for drinks, Em?" Garcia asked me as she walked to my side. The others stood beside her, "Rossi is coming. It's just down to you and your lover slash boss."

"Um…" I hesitated.

"Nah, she's busy tonight, baby girl." Morgan answered for me. I smiled appreciatively.

"Date?"

"Just the opposite…" I said under my breath. I shook my head, "No, but have fun."

"Hey, if you need a night out with us or just a girl's night, let us know." JJ smiled.

I nodded, "Thanks. You can ask Hotch if he wants to go with you."

"…I'll go ask him." Morgan said, giving me a questioning look before walking towards our boss's office.

"You're not together tonight?"

"We don't spend every waking moment together, Pen…" I said quietly, "Have fun tonight."

"Thanks." JJ smiled. Morgan, Rossi and Hotch came down and the six of them walked towards the glass doors.

"Why might she need a night out or a girl's night?" I heard Reid asked JJ.

"Because they're fighting, I'm assuming." Garcia answered for him.

I glanced up and saw Hotch looking at me before shaking his head and following them out. I sat staring at the FBI crest on the computer screen at my desk for a while before I sighed to myself and started on some paperwork. After finishing a few pages, I put my pen down and looked around behind me. There was no one there to see what I was doing. I opened the web browser and went to Google. I typed "relationship with boss" and looked at several different sites. The main things I looked for were the risks and what would happen if we broke up. From what I got, it would cause significant problems with both Hotch and I and within the team.

I did some more paperwork to try and distract myself but it didn't work at all. I stood up and slid my coat on before grabbing my bag. I texted JJ as I walked out of the precinct and I drove to the bar they were at.

It wasn't far and I got there with 15 minutes. I took a breath and neatened my hair before taking my handbag and locked the car. I walked inside and saw Morgan already on the dance floor.

"Hey Em." Will greeted me with a smile. He was on his way back towards the table of the team from the bar with several drinks.

I smiled, "Hey."

"JJ didn't tell me you were comin'. I'll put these down and get you a drink; this round's on me."

I nodded, "Thanks." I followed him towards the team and smiled when I heard the loud laughter from their table. They were all tipsy already. I looked at my watch and checked the time. They had been here just over two hours, so I assumed drunk, not tipsy.

"Hey!" Garcia and JJ both greeted me loudly.

"Ciao mio caro!" Rossi said to me, kissing my cheek as I sat down beside him.

"What?" I laughed.

"Uh, he said "hello, my dear"." Reid educated me on Rossi's Italian.

I nodded, "Ah…you're all drunk."

"Join us!" JJ said, pushing the drink that she hadn't drank yet towards me.

"I drove." I pushed her drink back to her.

"So you'll pick your car up tomorrow. Tonight, we party!" Garcia exclaimed. I laughed as Garcia pulled JJ up. She looked at me, "You're not drunk enough yet." They ran to the dance floor and I smiled to myself as I watched them dance. Will returned to the table and sat beside me, putting a beer and three shots there.

"Shots?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"You need to catch up," he shrugged his shoulders and slid them to me, "Bottoms up."

I bit my lip and looked at the alcohol. Did I want to get drunk tonight? What was the team thinking? Today was only Thursday; we still had work tomorrow.

"Prentiss!" I heard a drunken Morgan call happily. I looked up and laughed as he walked over with Garcia and JJ under his arms, "Ooo, shots." He smirked at me.

"Drinky drinky," Garcia motioned to them. I took a breath and shook my head, "Oh, come on. What better way to forget fighting with your boss lover than getting hella drunk?"

"You told them?" Hotch asked me.

"I told JJ and Morgan." I rolled my eyes.

"Nice to know we have some privacy." He shook his head and drank back the rest of his beer.

"Hey, you made a scene on the case."

"I didn't." He shook his head again.

I rolled my eyes and lifted the first shot.

"Quick, three in a row. Go!" JJ said excitedly.

I drank the first back and picked up the second, throwing the three of them back quickly. This would be a fun night.


	26. Chapter 26

**Prentiss**

Hotch and I decided last week that maybe we should split for a while. He used the words "see other people", and I used the words "some time for us to cool off". He did make it clear to me, however, that he _did_ want to try us again eventually.

I was slightly offended that he said "see other people". Did he have another girl? Was he seeing her while he was seeing me? If he wanted us to see other people, then I'd see someone else. I had gone out for the past few nights, trying to find someone who'd interest me, but none of them were Hotch and he was all I was thinking of.

Just when I thought the hope was lost, I met a guy at my usual coffee shop this morning. He didn't seem any different to anyone else I met over the past few nights, but he tried harder to talk to me, to meet me. He was about to leave when I walked in, but he stopped and waited until I was about to leave and then he approached me. I gave him my number and I took his.

Hotch had been texting a lot over the past few days and every time I saw him do it, it felt like a part of me died. Who was he suddenly texting so much? I missed him so much, I missed Jack so much and I missed happiness so much. It had been only a week and I was so miserable.

We were on the plane on the way to Maumee, Ohio. It was only about a 45 minute flight and we talked through the case for the majority of it. When we landed, my phone rang as we walked off the airstrip. "Agent Prentiss." I answered it. The whole team looked at me, assuming it would be a call concerning work or the case or something important.

"Emily, it's Scott."

"Oh, hey." I smiled to myself. I must have given him my work number instead of my private.

"I was wondering when you were free. I was going to wait a few days, but I couldn't bring myself to."

"Well I've just landed in Ohio for work, but I can call you when I'm on my way back if you want and we can plan something?"

"That sounds great. I'll be _eagerly_ awaiting that call." I could hear the smooth smile in his voice.

"Alright, cool. Bye." I hung up and slipped my phone back into my bag. "Did I just say "cool"?" I asked the team as they looked at me.

"Uh…what was that about?" JJ asked, ignoring my question.

"I met a guy this morning," I smiled at her, "He said he was going to wait to call me but he just couldn't bring himself to."

"Oh, well that would be great…if only you weren't in a relationship with someone else. Or is there something you haven't told me?"

"We're seeing other people. Let's go." Hotch said, walking to the SUV further from me.

"…Well, you moved on quickly." Rossi raised his eyebrows at me.

"I need a distraction," I admitted, "I hate to be that kind of person, but Scott's a rebound."

I went to walk away but JJ grabbed my arm, "Em, what happened?"

"I shouldn't have answered the call…" I sighed.

"What happened?" She asked again.

"About a week ago, we were still arguing and I was sick of it so I kind of tried to scare him into talking instead of yelling by telling him that I wasn't sure about us anymore…and he said that we should see other people for a while."

"For a while?" Reid asked for clarification. I nodded and walked towards the SUV again.

"Well you can't just give up." JJ said as she followed me. Morgan walked with us and Reid and Rossi went to the other car where Hotch waited.

"JJ, this is what he wants. If he didn't want me to see someone else, he wouldn't have suggested it."

"I don't know; he sounded angry when he said that you're seeing other people." Morgan said.

"He's not allowed to be." I shook my head and got in the passenger seat. JJ climbed in the back and Morgan sat behind the wheel. JJ or I would have drove, but we both knew that Morgan liked driving; he liked the feeling of control. We wouldn't mess with that, considering it really didn't matter at all to either of us.

He drove out in front of Hotch and towards the police station. I listened as JJ talked about the case with Morgan but I stayed silent. I looked out the window and tried to keep my thoughts on the case, but they were drifting more towards Hotch and Scott.

* * *

I sat by myself in the corner of the plane. Reid was asleep on the couch; JJ was sitting with Morgan, Rossi and Hotch. We had only been in the air for about 15 minutes, but it felt like it had been hours. I saw JJ stand up and walked to the small kitchen in the plane. I stared out the window again and within a few minutes, I mug of hot coffee was in front of me and JJ sat across from me with her own.

"Thanks." I said quietly, lifting it to my lips and sipping it. The heat burned my tongue and my throat as it slid down, but I ignored the pain. I looked back out the window and pulled my knees up to my chest.

She cleared her throat quietly and sat forwards, "Em." I looked at her and waited for her to speak again. "The case or Hotch?"

I sighed and dropped my legs back down. I closed my eyes, "He said we should see other people, but I went out two nights in a row and not once did I see a guy that I thought might be worth my time. Scott, the guy that called me when we landed in Ohio, he wants to go to dinner but it just doesn't feel right. I thought it might be fun, he seems interesting, but I just don't want to."

She shook her head, "If you don't want to go, then don't go. If you want to try dating someone else to…I don't know…get back at him? Then do that. If you just want to get laid, have a few one night stands, then do that. But if you want to wait for him, then definitely do that. Em, I've known you for years, and I had never seen you as content with your life as you were when you were with him. I've known him even longer than I have you and I had never seen him happier; not even with Haley."

"But if I decide to wait, what do I do if he doesn't want to come back to me?"

"You just need to try a little harder. I know it's harder than it sounds, but the both of you…" She said "both of you" louder so than Hotch would hear, "Need to be a little more patient with each other and listen to each other." She continued loudly.

I shook my head and sipped the coffee again, "Please don't involve yourself in this. It'll just get worse and harder to work with."

"Will and I split up." She said quietly.

"Oh my god…what? When? Why? Are you okay?"

She looked at the mug in her hands, "Two weeks ago. The night after we all went out. We just…we weren't talking or communicating. We were yelling, working or avoiding each other and trying to concentrate on Henry. No, I'm not okay; I'm a wreck and I miss him and I'm not coping very well. Just, don't tell anyone else." She had tears in her eyes. She had left something out but I didn't want to pry.

"I'm so sorry, Jayje."

"I don't know what to do with my relationship. I don't know whether to try and fix it or to let him go, but I don't _want_ to let him go. What I'm trying to tell you is if you _know_ what you can do to fix it, do it. It'll destroy you if you leave it even a few weeks without trying. I hate myself for doing nothing. I let him leave and I let him take Henry with him."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Will or Henry?"

"Both."

"Henry the night before we left for Ohio, Will the day before. But I'm going to try and talk to him and work it out. I suggest you do the same." She said before she stood and walked back to her previous seat beside Morgan.

I pulled my legs back up and looked out the window again, still drinking the coffee. I could feel his eyes on me but I refused to look back. I wouldn't be able to work with him affectively for much longer. Right now, I was just trying to ignore it and sometimes pretend that nothing had happened between us, negative or positive. I needed to do something about it; either fix it or end it completely, and if we were going to end in completely, then I needed to resign and find a new job.

I closed my eyes to keep the tears back and I drank the rest of the coffee JJ had made me. I put the cup down and repositioned myself silently, getting comfortable and laying my head. I took a few breaths to calm myself down before I felt my body slowly relax and start to fall asleep. Just before I drifted off, I felt something lay over me.

* * *

I woke up to Hotch shaking me lightly. "Prentiss, we've landed." He said quietly as my eyes fluttered open. I stood up and took his suit jacket off me. I gave it back to him and thanked him quietly before walking past him and off the plane, grabbing my bag as I went. The others were just outside the plane, waiting for us.

I smiled at JJ weakly and she put her arm around me, "Girls night?"

"Out or in?" I asked.

"Well do you want to get drunk or do you want to eat a lot and cry while we watch sad movies? I would personally prefer the latter, but it's up to you."

"Definitely cry," I nodded, "With pizza and ice cream."

She smiled and nodded, "I'll call Pen."

I watched her walk away from me, getting her phone out and I looked at the four men in front of me. "She's not with Will anymore, is she?" Morgan asked quietly.

I looked down, "I'm not supposed to say anything."

"We're profilers; we knew." Rossi assured quietly.

"Do relationships ever last?" Reid asked quietly, "They're split up, you two are split up, you've been divorced three times…" He looked at Rossi.

"I guess you just have to find the right person for you." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Are you saying that Hotch isn't the right person for you?" Morgan asked, glancing at Hotch.

I shook my head, " _I'm_ not the right person for _him_ ," JJ called my name and waved me over when I looked at her behind me, "Well we're going to watch movies and cry ourselves out, so good night." I smiled.

"Good night." Reid said in a sad tone.

"Night." Morgan touched my shoulder and I turned, walking to my best friend.

"She's in. She's going home to shower and then she'll come over in her pyjamas with ice cream and chocolate." JJ said once I reached her.

I nodded, "Oh…hey, just so you know…they know."

"Did you tell them?"

I shook my head, "I didn't have to, they're profilers, honey. Whose house?"

"Yours. Mine is a mess and Garcia's is too small."

I nodded, "Great; I really need to see Sergio."

She laughed at me and we got into the car. She got behind the wheel and I sat as her passenger, looking at the rest of the team as they walked to the other SUV off the airstrip. Morgan, Reid and Rossi waved to us, Hotch glanced but looked down, shaking his head slightly. I took a deep breath and looked at JJ, "The tears are going to come a lot quicker than normal, just so you're prepared."

"Do me a favour? Text Garcia and ask her to pick up some extra tissues on her way?"

I smiled, "Yeah, I think I've only got one box."


	27. Chapter 27

**Prentiss**

We got one movie in before we stopped the night to decide on pizza. We couldn't decide on what we wanted, so we got four different pizzas. Way too much for us, considering the three of us could hardly even eat one pizza together, but we were sad so it was okay. Everyone's allowed a little too much food once in a while, right? Garcia was sad because we were; it was like it was contagious. All three of us already had red eyes and cheeks from the first movie and my cheeks already hurt from the dried salt of the water.

I stood in my kitchen and they sat on the stools at the counter island. I poured us all a glass or soda each. We'd decided that we didn't feel like drinking at all. JJ was constantly checking her phone, and I realised that I was too. Normally, Hotch would be texting me or even calling me if he wasn't with me. Now, silence.

"It just sucks you know, like, at least you two have each other while you're on cases. I have my computers." Garcia said.

"But you can always call us." I smiled at her as I placed their glasses in front of them.

"I consider it but you're always working so hard or you're sleeping and I really don't like interrupting either of those things."

I heard a knock on the door and assumed it was the pizza, "Can you please get that, Jayje? Money's on the coffee table."

"Yeah." She stood up and got the money before walking towards the front door down the small entry hall.

"So Reid asked something when we got off the plane earlier today and I want to ask your opinion on it. Do relationships ever last?" I watched Garcia as she thought about the question.

"I think you need extreme dedication and time, and time isn't exactly a thing anyone in our team has much of."

I nodded and looked up when I heard more than one set of footsteps. Morgan, Reid and Rossi walked in behind JJ. "We have company."

"Oh god." I looked away from them and wiped my eyes where my mascara and eyeliner had run.

Morgan laughed, "Don't worry princess; we've seen you cry before."

"Yeah, not nearly as much or over something so stupid."

"Ordering too much pizza was a sign." Garcia said.

"How much did you order?" Reid asked curiously as he sat down beside her.

"Four large ones." She answered him.

"Do you want alcohol, soda or water?" I asked them.

Rossi looked at our glasses and raised his eyebrows, "I'm surprised the three of you aren't drinking…"

"Well I don't want to forget about it, I just want to sook about it for a night."

He smiled and kissed my temple as he walked to the cupboard and got six glasses out. Was he going to pour us alcohol anyway? He filled three of them with soda and past two of the glasses to Morgan and Reid. Then he filled the other three with water and placed one in front of Garcia, one in front of JJ and one in front of me "Hydration."

Tears dripped from my eyes again and he hugged me, "You take such good care of us." I laughed and wiped my eyes when I pulled away. I wiped my finger over the few teardrops I had left on his shoulder, "Sorry."

"Don't worry; I wore my tear shirt."

"You have a tear shirt?" Garcia smiled.

"I work with three very important women," He raised his eyebrows, "They're all very strong, but everyone has their bad days."

"Weeks." I said quietly.

"Months." JJ added.

"I don't even know why I'm sad," Garcia shook her head, "It's contagious with these two."

I heard my phone buzz in the living room and I ran from under Rossi's arm to it quickly, jumping over the back of one of the couches as I did. I looked at the text but it wasn't from Hotch, it was from Will. My shoulders slumped and the hope was gone, but I opened the text anyway.

 _"_ _I assume you heard about JJ and I. Make sure she's okay for me please? Let her know that I'll call her in the next few days."_

 _"_ _She's with me now. I'll tell her. If I were you, I wouldn't let her go and vice versa…"_

 _"_ _Thanks."_ Was all he replied with. I put my phone back down and dropped my head into my hands.

"Not him?" Morgan asked.

I shook my head and stood back up. I heard another knock on the door and JJ went to stand but Reid stopped her and went himself.

"Guys suck." I said quietly.

"Hey, we came to _support_ you tonight." Morgan raised his eyebrows at me.

"So if that wasn't Hotch, who was it?" Garcia asked.

I looked at JJ, "…Will."

"What does he want?" JJ's back straightened.

"He just asked me to make sure you were okay and to tell you that he'd call sometime within the next few days."

She smiled and looked down, "Do you think he'll forgive me?" She asked.

"…Jayje, I don't even know what happened for him to forgive."

"I know," She nodded, "But I'm not going to tell you. I was just looking for reassurance."

"Then yes, I'm sure he'll forgive you." I gave her the reassurance she wanted.

Silence fell momentarily as Reid walked back in with the pizzas.

"You know Morgan, I don't think I ever thanked you." I said, looking at him beside Garcia.

"...For what?"

"For saving my life multiple times when Doyle had us."

He shrugged his shoulders and had a smug smirk, "Oh yeah, it was nothing. Easy."

I smiled, "Well thank you." I picked up the boxes and walked out of the kitchen with them.

We all sat down on the living room and started eating the pizza. I put the next movie on at their request and it took us five minutes to decide on one that JJ, Garcia and I all felt like watching. After we ate the pizza, Garcia snuggled up with Morgan, JJ sat beside Reid and rested her head on his shoulder and I lay beside Rossi, his arms around me. He let me cry into his shirt as we watched and he only laughed at me a handful of times.

Once the second movie finished and then the third, it was past midnight. My phone rang and I sighed. I sat up slowly and picked my phone up. I saw Hotch's name flash and I accepted the call quickly, jumping up and holding it to my ear, "Hotch?" I walked away from them as they looked at me and I stood in the kitchen.

"Hey…I was just calling to check up on you. Considering how fast you picked up, I'm assuming you weren't asleep."

"No, I've been watching sad movies with the team all night."

"Well…how are you?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Emily—"

"Hotch, I'm never going to be able to even _act_ okay if you keep checking up on me."

"I said we should see other people; I didn't say I necessarily wanted to."

"Then why would you say it?"

"Because it's better for you this way. Jack—"

"Don't. Do not bring Jack back into this again."

"Can you please just let me know when you're free next?"

"Why?"

"Because I need to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Because I do!"

"Okay…please don't yell at me again. I hate yelling."

I heard him sigh quietly, "I'm sorry."

I looked behind me to the team. They were watching and I assumed they could hear me; the kitchen and living area weren't really far from each other.

"I need to go, but I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay. Have a good night."

I closed my eyes and hung up. Tears overflowed again and I failed to keep the sob that had risen in my throat back. I put my hand over my mouth and put my phone down. A wave of nausea overcame me and I leant on the counter with one hand and lowered myself to the kitchen tiles. I always felt sick when I was extremely upset.

"Em?" I heard JJ ask as she ran across the floorboards. She reached me around the counter and knelt at my side, hugging me, "What did he say?"

"He's making me so confused." I shook my head.

"Has he changed his mind?" Garcia asked as she and the others walked over and sat down with me. It seemed strange, having my team around me for unconditional support while I was crying over our boss. I don't think anything like this had ever happened with us before.

"He said "I said we should see other people; I didn't say I necessarily wanted to" and then he asked me to call him when I was free because he wanted to talk to me. When I picked up the call, he claimed that he was checking up on me."

"So he still cares, he just isn't sure if it's best for you."

"No, he doesn't think it's good for Jack."

"How can you not be good for Jack? I think you're what Jack _needs_." Garcia said quietly.

I took a breath and wiped the tears from my cheeks, "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"I thought it was unusual that you were discussing it in the first place. You're normally more of a suffer-in-silence type." Rossi said.

"Sometimes a girl needs to let it out." JJ said.

* * *

We had watched another movie after Hotch's call and I had fallen asleep lying beside Rossi. I woke with my head was on his shoulder, his arms were around me again and I could hear his quiet, steady breathing. He was asleep. I sat up carefully to not wake him and looked to the couch that sat towards my right. Reid was asleep partially sitting up and JJ was asleep across him. On the couch across from me, Garcia and Morgan were asleep in each other's arms. I picked my phone up from the coffee table and looked at the time. It was 10:13 am. I stood and glanced at Rossi to make sure I didn't wake him before walking to the kitchen quietly. I started to boil water and got six mugs out of the cupboard.

I walked upstairs and got dressed into a pair of jeans and a grey shirt. I tied my hair up without brushing it and walked back downstairs. I made coffees and jumped slightly when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked at JJ and smiled when she laughed at me.

"You were the first asleep. Rossi didn't dare move an inch."

I smiled and handed her a mug. I looked over to the living area and saw Reid waking up. JJ took another mug and took it over to him. I took two over, placing them on the table near Garcia and Morgan, both still asleep. I went back and took the last two mugs, putting one down near Rossi and sipping one.

I heard a knock on the door and put my mug down as I stood up. I walked down the entry hall and heard JJ waking the other three up. I looked through the peep hole of the door and saw Hotch on the other side. I closed my eyes and took a breath. I unhooked the chain and turned the locks. I opened my eyes and opened the door. I took an unsteady breath as I saw him.

"I was going to wait but Jack went with a friend and I couldn't concentrate on the paperwork. I need to talk to you."

"Em, who is it?" JJ called from the living room.

"You can come in but the team is still here." I said as I stepped to the side. He walked in and I locked the door behind him. I walked through and saw the team looking at him. Garcia and Reid looked awkward; the other three just greeted him with smiles. "Coffee?" I offered as I walked through. I didn't wait for his reply; I started making it straight away.

I handed him the hot mug as I walked past and I sat back down on the couch beside Rossi, lifting my own coffee and sipping it. The others were already sitting and JJ motioned for Hotch to sit with us. He walked over and sat down beside her, looking at the coffee in the mug.

I looked at Rossi, "Sorry for falling asleep on you."

"I was too afraid to move," He smiled in amusement before drinking the coffee, "And I didn't want to wake you because I didn't want you to start crying again. I've never seen you more emotional in the whole time I've known you."

"Okay, you can shut up now…" I said quietly.

"…Should we go?" Garcia asked, looked at JJ, Morgan, Reid and Rossi.

"No," JJ shook her head, "Come on, you think Emily will last a conversation alone with him right now?"

"She didn't even last a phone call." Reid shook his head.

"Okay, in all the years that you've all known me, when have I ever been okay with letting someone know when they make me upset?"

"…Never." Morgan said.

"Exactly. This isn't different, so you can all just stop talking about it."

JJ's phone rang and she reached for it quickly, "I'm borrowing your upstairs." She said as she stood and walked out quickly, holding the phone up to her ear.

"Will." Reid said quietly.

"I hope that works out for her." I said quietly. I heard another knock on the door and I looked around, counting my visitors in my head.

"Who else do you know?" Garcia asked.

"No one." I stood up and walked to the door again. I saw Jack on the other side through the peep hole. I didn't even know that he knew where I lived. Why was he here, anyway? I unlocked and opened the door, smiling at him, "Hey, what's going on?" I stepped out of the way and motioned for him to come in.

"I came about my dad. He thinks I'm with a friend but I just asked his dad to drop me off here." He said as he walked back down the entry hall.

"Jack?" Hotch asked a second before we walked into the open room.

"…Dad…" Jack said in a slightly shocked tone. Hotch sighed irritably and stood up. He walked over and grabbed Jack's arm gently, pulling him back towards the front door.

"He's sad and he misses you and he loves you." Jack said quickly as Hotch dragged him away.

"Jack!" Hotch scolded. He unlocked and opened the front door, apologising to me as he took his son out and closed it behind him.

Silence filled the room and I turned around slowly, looking at the majority of my team on the couches, looking in this direction. They looked as shocked as I did.

"What just happened?" I asked quietly.

"Jack said that Hotch is sad, he misses you and he loves you…" Reid said quietly.

"Yeah kid, that was rhetorical." Morgan said quietly.

I sat back down beside Rossi again and put my head in my hands. I closed my eyes and thought about what had just occurred and what was said. I felt Rossi rub soothing circles on my back lightly. I sat back and leant into him, dropping my head to his shoulder. I stared at the ground and table in front of me, thinking. I guessed I'd wait a day or two before talking to him again. There was just too much happening at once. I tried to bring my focus back to JJ; she would either come back down here in a mess of tears or she'd come with a beaming, unbeatable smile.


	28. Chapter 28

**Prentiss**

The team had gone home in the late afternoon after we had gone out for a late lunch. None of them thought they'd be here that long, but they didn't have anything else to do so I asked them to stay with me. Will was supposed to meet JJ at their house and I was supposed to be watching Henry, but something that come up and it was postponed to tonight. I hated Sundays, but Henry would make me feel a lot better without even trying; he was the most adorable person in existence.

I was reading my book for a while before I heard a knock on the door. I put the book down and made my way down the entry hall. I unlocked the door and opened it. Will and Henry stood on the other side. I smiled and Henry ran inside with a backpack on towards the living room. I watched him and turned and smiled at Will again, "Do you want to come in?" I offered.

"No thanks. I should go see JJ. God knows the conversation will be long."

I nodded, "Well in whatever you decide to do, good luck."

"Thank you. And thank you for lookin' after Henry for us."

"It's no problem. I'd do it anytime. If the two of you decide to make up tonight, he can always stay here and I can take him to school in the morning for you."

A short laugh escaped him, "Yeah, thanks for the offer. See you later."

I laughed, "See you." I closed the door once he turned away and locked it up again. I walked back down the entry hall and looked around the open area, "Henry?" I heard his small giggle and smiled to myself, "I'm gonna find you." I started walking around and pretended I didn't see his feet under the curtains near the window.

I made us dinner and I talked to him about school and Will and JJ while we ate. Then I cleaned up and he was colouring in at the dining table. I heard a knock on the door not long after and I assumed it would be JJ or Will. I walked past Henry and kissed his hair. I unlocked and opened the door without looking through the peep hole and I took in a breath when I saw Hotch standing on the other side.

"I'm sorry about Jack earlier." He said immediately.

I shook my head, "It's okay," I stepped to the side and motioned for him to come in, "I've got Henry tonight, but I don't think he'll interrupt us much." I said quietly as I locked the door again and followed him to the open room that consisted of my kitchen, dining and living room.

"Hey Henry." Hotch greeted him with a smile.

"Hi Hotch." Henry said with a smile. He returned to his drawing almost instantly.

"Short and sweet." I said quietly as I walked past Hotch and into the kitchen. I put water on to boil and put the sugar and coffee into two mugs.

"So how are you going?" Hotch asked me quietly, standing against the counter island to my right.

I glanced at him out the corner of my eye, "I'm not going to lie; I'm not great."

"Yeah, this isn't really working for me either…"

I sighed and looked down, "Look, I just need to know where I went wrong."

He closed his eyes and shook his head, "You didn't."

"Well I must have done something."

"No, it wasn't you. I was stressed and I was worried about the team knowing everything and I thought that this would be better and easier on us and Jack but I was so wrong. Jack is furious with me, you're upset and emotional and I'm just miserable."

I passed him the freshly made coffee and he thanked me quietly. I motioned for him to follow and we sat down on the couches in the living area. We continued talking about it for a while, "Emily, I know I am in no place to ask this and I will fully understand if you say no, but would you give me a second chance? Please?" It sounded so unusual to hear him talk like this. He didn't do it often when we were together, he was always even slightly sounded like he was at work when we talked, but right now it was a different side of him. It was the vulnerable, passionate side that everyone has but doesn't necessarily show.

I closed my eyes briefly to keep the tears at bay and sat with my hands clasped together, over my mouth, as I stared at the table in front of me and thought. A few minutes of silence past before an alarm sounded on my phone. I turned it off and looked at Hotch, "Sorry, I've got to call JJ."

He nodded and sat back. I dialled JJ's number and held the phone to my ear. "Hey." She answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Well…I think. I'm not sure."

"Well do you want me to keep Henry here tonight? I can take him to school in the morning for you, too."

"Will it put you out at all? Honestly?"

"No Jayje, it's fine," I assured, "I wouldn't offer if I couldn't do it."

She sighed, "Well then yes please. Thanks Em, I owe you one."

"Anytime. Good luck." I hung up and put my phone down as I stood up. I walked around the couch and crouched at Henry's side, "Hey Henry, you're going to stay here with me tonight, okay? And I'll take you to school in the morning. Mummy and daddy need a night to talk."

He nodded, "Okay."

I looked at my watch, "It's 8:30, so bedtime."

He jumped down from the chair and ran towards the staircase. I picked up his backpack from the corner and followed him, "Five minutes." I said to Hotch in an apologetic tone.

I got Henry ready for bed and chased him to the spare room when he ran away from me. I swept him up and he laughed uncontrollably as I put him on the bed. He asked me to read him a story so I grabbed the book from his bag and lay beside him. I read it and he was asleep by the end. I kissed his forehead and left the room as quietly as I could. I left the upstairs hall light on and turned off the one in the room. I left the door open ajar and walked back downstairs where Hotch still sat on the couch.

"Sorry, it was more like ten minutes," I said quietly, "Another coffee?" I took both our mugs and made more without waiting for a reply. I need coffee and this was my go to thing when I needed more time or to avoid something...or someone. I sat back down with him and sipped at the coffee. It burnt my tongue and the back of my throat.

"You're good with him." Hotch said quietly after a brief moment of silence between us.

"I know what it's like to be a child who has no one to turn to when they can't go to their parents or any other family. I don't want him to have the same problem, so I'm as good as I can be to show him that I care." I put the mug down on the coffee table and looked at him.

He stared at me for a few seconds.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm waiting for you to decide what you want to do."

I sighed and closed my eyes, "Aaron, I need to know that if we try this again, that I'm not the only one in it one hundred per cent all the time. I can't have days where we just pretend that we're nothing. At work is fine, but after hours, I need…attention," I laughed at myself, "I'm a female, I need attention and reassurance and to know that I'm worth it."

He nodded, "I know."

"Are you going to be able to be in this every hour of every day?" I asked. He nodded in response. "Are you going to let me speak to Jack?"

"I didn't intend on taking you away from him. You're good for him; he needs a female in his life that he can talk to. Jessica isn't always around."

"And you're sure that I'm what you want?"

"I'm sure." He nodded.

I nodded, "Okay."

"Okay? Okay you'll give me another chance or okay that information works in my favour but you haven't decided?"

I smiled at him, "Okay I'll give you another chance."

"Thank you." He said sincerely.

"Well, we lasted just over a week." We both laughed.

"Okay, so splitting up wasn't for us. Let's hope we don't get there again."

* * *

I woke up early and slid out carefully from underneath Hotch's arm. I watched him for a few seconds; he was so peaceful when he slept. His bare chest moved up and down steadily as he breathed quietly. I smiled to myself and walked to the drawers across the room. I opened the top one as quietly as I could and took a pair of underwear and a bra. I walked out and went to the bathroom. I had a quick shower and went back to my room, walking to the closet and opening it. I took out a dark blue long sleeve shirt, a pair of tighter styled black pants and my belt. I got changed silently and looked at Hotch before walking out again.

I went downstairs and started boiling water. I took two hot mugs of coffee upstairs once it finished heating and I kissed Hotch's cheek to wake him up. "Coffee." I showed him before putting on the nightstand beside him.

"Thanks," He smiled at me, "And just so you know, I was not planning on last night ending like that."

"No, I'm sure you weren't," I smirked, "I'm going to start making breakfast." I kissed his lips this time and stood up. I walked downstairs and began cooking bacon and eggs; you could never go wrong with bacon and eggs.

I heard Henry running around upstairs before long and I jumped slightly when I felt Hotch put his arm around my waist from behind me, "I didn't even know you were down here." I turned around in his arms.

"I'll cook, you go up to Henry." He placed a kiss on my lips and I returned it before forcing myself away from him. I walked upstairs and smiled at Henry when I opened the door to the spare room he was in.

"Good morning." I smiled at him and walked over. I crouched at his side and kissed his hair. He was pulling clothes out of his bag. "Why don't you come eat breakfast first?"

He nodded and stood up. He ran downstairs ahead of me and towards the dining table where Hotch was putting plates down with the eggs and bacon on them. "Hey buddy." Hotch smiled.

"Hi." Henry smiled back and climbed onto the chair.

"Children have too much energy so early in the morning." I said to Hotch as I sat down with them. I didn't always eat breakfast, but I felt like I should eat if Henry and Hotch were.

I fed Sergio and then got Henry ready after breakfast and let him watch TV downstairs while I got my things. I hooked my holster to my belt and put my gun in it. I grabbed my suit jacket and slipped it on. Hotch finished putting his tie on and walked downstairs with me. He must have used the suit I still had had here from a while ago. He left it, I cleaned it and he never took it home.

"Alright Henry, let's go." I said.

"Okay." He turned the TV off and jumped down from the couch. He put his backpack on and ran to the door.

I grabbed my keys and followed him, Hotch behind the both of us with his own keys. I locked the door behind us and walked to the ground floor with them. I helped Henry into my car and Hotch kissed my cheek before going to his own. "I'll see you at the precinct."

I nodded and stepped into my car. I pulled out of the parking space before Hotch and he followed me out of the small lot. I dropped Henry off at school and made sure he was inside the gates before I drove away. I stopped at a coffee shop and got seven coffees all made how each individual team member liked them and I drove to the precinct with them.

* * *

I walked into the bullpen with a smile and laughed as Morgan teased me about the grin. I handed a coffee to him, Reid and Garcia. I lifted two and walked to Hotch's office. I knocked and waited for permission to enter. "Coffee."

"I love you." He smiled.

"Back at you." I smirked and gave it to him.

I walked back out and made my way to Rossi's office. I knocked and waited like I had with Hotch. He called me in and I smiled when I walked in. I walked to him and handed him his coffee. "Thank you." He smiled.

"No problem." I returned the smile. I didn't move.

"Something else?" He asked after realising that I hadn't left yet. He put the coffee down and closed the book he was reading.

I cleared my throat, "I just wanted to apologise about the other night and to thank you for being there for me and JJ."

"Apologise?"

"Well I'm sure there were twenty things you would have rather been doing than watching sappy movies and eating pizza with us, let alone having me cry on you and fall asleep on you. It definitely was not my proudest night."

"Emily, it was _my_ idea to go to your apartment in the first place. I had nothing to do and even if I did, I still would have been there with you and JJ. You needed to cry and I was glad that you were able to get some sleep; we all know you haven't been getting much of that this week."

Tears were in my eyes and a few fell down my cheeks. He smiled and stood up. He walked around his desk and hugged me. I returned it and wiped my cheeks once we parted, "Thank you." I said quietly.

"But you're not crying because you're upset. You're in a good mood this morning. Did you and Aaron happen to make up?"

I smiled and looked down as I nodded.

"Well I'm glad it worked out for you. I'm _always_ available Em. It doesn't matter how old you get or how strong you are, you're always going to need someone. Everyone does."

I thanked him again and left his office. I walked back to my desk and lifted my own coffee.

"You okay? Your eyes are a bit red." Garcia said from beside Morgan.

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, Rossi was just being really nice."

"He made you cry?" Reid asked.

"It was sweet," The three of them looked behind me and I turned around. JJ walked through the glass doors, "Hey." I smiled at her as she reached me.

"Hi," She took the coffee I held out to her, "Thank you."

I gasped dramatically, "You got lucky!"

She laughed at me, "We worked it out for the most part," She nodded, "There are still a few things in question but we put most of it to rest."

I nodded, "I'm so glad that it worked out for you."

"And you?"

I didn't answer her; I just looked down and tried to tame the smile on my face.

"…You didn't make up." She shook her head.

"I didn't say that." I raised my eyebrows. Now I was so good at hiding things that even when I didn't attempt to keep something a secret, they still believed it. I heard Hotch's office door open and saw him walked down the steps out the corner of my eye.

"Hotch, what the hell is wrong with you? Don't you think—"

"JJ." I cut her off.

She ignored me, "Don't you think she deserves more than what you're doing right now? She doesn't—"

"JJ!" I cut her off again, more forcefully this time, "We made up." I nodded.

Her body language shifted from aggravated to relaxed again, "oh…sorry." She looked at Hotch.

Hotch shook his head and looked at me, "I need to talk to you." He motioned for me to follow him and we walked back to his office.

I looked down and picked my coffee back up from my desk with a sigh, "One bad thing after another…" I said to myself as I walked away. The four of them at the desks watched me walk to his office and I closed the door behind me.

"What is it?" I asked him. He was standing behind his desk with his things packed ready to leave.

"Do you remember when I was posted on temporary duty in Pakistan?"

My eyes widened slightly, "No…" I breathed quietly.

He looked down, "I have to go."


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey guys! Sorry that I've been posting so late these past few days; there's stuff coming up all over the place and I'm stressing out big time. Thank you for all the support, PM's and reviews you've given me throughout this so far. All of your feedback really is what keeps a writer writing.**

 **-A xx**

 **Prentiss**

" _Do you remember when I was posted on temporary duty in Pakistan?"_

 _My eyes widened slightly, "No…" I breathed quietly._

 _He looked down, "I have to go."_

I stared at him in silence for a few seconds before he moved and lifted his bag.

"Are you going back to Pakistan?"

He shook his head, "Iraq."

"But everything is so intense there at the moment."

"I know," He nodded, "But I'll be fine, honey."

Tears were in my eyes, "For how long?"

"I don't know yet," He shook his head, "And I might be unreachable every so often. I'm sorry, Emily, but you know I don't have a choice."

I nodded and looked down, "Please be careful."

He motioned for me to follow him and I walked beside him as he spoke to me, "I should get a rough idea of the timeframe that I'll be there once I get to Iraq. I'll call you when I can and I'll give you the number of someone you can reach if you can't reach me and they can take a message and give it to me when possible. Depending on the time I'm gone, Dave might have to hire a temporary to fill the extra agent position."

We reached the glass doors and I stopped when he did, "And one more thing. I love you."

I smiled and blinked my tears back, "I love you too."

He looked through the glass doors and around that area, then he looked around the bullpen. The only people watching us were the other five members of our team. He placed a long kiss on my lips. When he pulled away, he looked into my eyes in a few seconds of silence.

"What's Jack doing while you're gone?" I asked quietly.

"I was going to ask Jessica, but…"

I looked down briefly. Would he hate the idea of me taking Jack while he was gone? Jessica wasn't always available, and she had to make herself available when we were on cases. He couldn't ask her to have him all day every day until he got back. "He could stay with me…if you wanted."

"School starts at 9 so he needs to be there at 8:30. It finishes at 3 so I'm supposed to be there at 2:50. Are you sure you want to do that?"

I rolled my eyes, "I am capable of a little responsibility, Aaron."

He smiled and nodded, "Okay, thank you. I'll text you Jessica's number; you can call her any time if you need her to take Jack or if you have a case."

I nodded, "Stay safe." He kissed me again before walking out the glass doors and towards the elevators.

* * *

"So he's going on temporary duty in Iraq and doesn't know when he'll be back?" Morgan asked. I nodded in confirmation. We were sitting around the conference table.

"Well what are we supposed to do while he's gone?" Reid asked quietly.

"The same thing we did last time," Rossi said, "We work how we usually do, and we try to do it without him. We can call him if we urgently need his input, but I'm sure we can work efficiently."

"But he makes the decisions that we can't." JJ said quietly.

"No, we'll solve what we need to just fine." I looked at her.

"Well what about you? How'll you work once you start missing him?"

"…He's not dead."

"But you might not see him for a long time." Garcia said.

"I'll survive." I was offended that they didn't think I'd be capable of working competently at some point.

"Okay, sorry…" Garcia said quietly, looking at me with shocked eyes after hearing my tone of voice.

"Sorry; that wasn't supposed to sound so aggressive," I cleared my throat quietly and looked around at the five sets of eyes on me, "Do we have a case?"

Garcia stood up, "Yeah. Sacramento, California. Three women dead, another reported missing as of last night. Each shot execution style." She explained the case to us and we discussed it as a team as we always did. It did seem a little unusual to not hear Hotch's voice and thoughts.

We all looked at Rossi after we talked about what we could. He looked around at us, "What?"

"You're normally the second in command. Hotch isn't here, so now you're the first…" JJ said.

"Uh…we'll leave in thirty."

"That's not how you're supposed to say it," Morgan smirked, "Let us hear the words we do every other time."

He sighed, "Wheels up in thirty."

"Thanks man." Morgan laughed.

We all stood up and took our own copies of the file. I got my phone out and looked at the text Hotch had sent me only minutes after he left the precinct. I saved the number in my contacts under "Jessica" and then rang her.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hey Jessica, it's Emily Prentiss. I don't know if you remember me, I work with Aaron."

"Oh, I definitely remember you," I could hear the smirk in her voice, "He said that you're taking care of Jack while he's gone. Thanks for that; I definitely could not do it all the time."

I bit my lip, "Uh…"

"You have a case. It's okay, he told me that you'd still need me to take him on cases. Where are you going?"

"California. We leave in about a half hour so I won't even be able to drop him off after school."

"That's okay; Aaron doesn't normally have the time either. Just call me when you get back to Virginia and let me know when you want him dropped off. Thanks for taking him when you're here, though. It's really helpful."

I smiled to myself, "I'd do it anytime. I can pick him up after the case; you don't have to drop him anywhere."

"Alright, well good luck on your case."

"Thanks." I hung up and put my phone onto the table. I hadn't moved from the round table room during the call and when I looked up, no one from the team had left either. They were all looking at me. "What?"

"Jessica? Like Jack's aunt, Jessica?" JJ asked.

I nodded, "Yeah…"

"You're taking care of Jack while he's away? That's so cute." Garcia smiled. I rolled my eyes and held my middle finger up to her. They all laughed at me and followed me out of the conference room.

* * *

The case was harder than we thought it would be without Hotch, but we got through it eventually. The four and half hour flight home felt long too. Morgan, Reid and JJ all slept, Rossi read and I sat in silence when I would normally talk to Hotch.

When we got back to Virginia, it was around 8:30. I didn't know how late was too late to contact Jessica or pick up Jack. I texted Hotch instead in the hopes that he wouldn't be too busy yet and would receive it. I asked him what time was too late.

My phone rang about five minutes after I sent the text and I smiled to myself as I answered it. I was still with the team when I held it to my ear, "Hey."

"I'd say 9:30 is the cut off time."

"You know that you could have just texted that."

"But I wanted to call you."

"And why might that be?" My smile grew.

"So I could hear your voice."

I stopped walking and bit my lip. A small laugh escaped me and I couldn't stop smiling, "You're sweet."

"So…we're moving from base next week and I'll be unreachable for a while."

"Already? You've only been there a few days."

"These guys have been here for years."

My smile finally fell, "Well make sure you call Jack as much as you can before you can't anymore? He misses you already; I talked to him last night."

"Thanks again for looking after him while I'm here."

"Anytime, Aaron. You know that. So do you know when you might be back?"

"Months at the least. I'm sorry, Em."

I sighed, "It's okay. You didn't have a choice, right?"

"Right. I've got to go; someone's calling me. I love you."

"I love you too. Be safe." I hung up and looked around the team who had been standing around me.

"I don't think I've ever heard you tell him that you love him." JJ smiled.

I smiled and nodded, "Well he thinks that he'll be there for months at the least. He's still not sure."

"You miss him already." Rossi said.

"No." I denied, shaking my head and raising my eyebrows.

"Liar." The four of them said in unison.

"You guys suck." I walked past them and called Jessica.

I drove to Jessica's house and she invited me inside. I talked to her for a while until Jack had his things and double checked that he had all his schoolbooks. I thanked Jessica and we walked to my car. Hotch had told me that he didn't mind whether Jack came to my apartment or I stayed at his house. He said that if I did choose his house, I could take Sergio with me. I asked Jack where he preferred and he said his own house, so I swung by my apartment quickly, packed some clothes into a bag, repacked my go bag and took Sergio, his food and food dish and his litter box.

When we got to Hotch's house, Jack went up to his room. He had already eaten so I didn't need to make him anything and I wasn't hungry myself. I let Sergio out of the pet carrier and I carried him to the laundry in the back of the house. I put the litter box down and filled it with the litter he liked. I put him down in it so he'd know where it was and then I walked out. I took his food dish out and put his food into a cupboard. I filled his water dish and put it beside the food one. Then I went upstairs and stopped in the hall. Which room did I stay in?

I walked into the spare room where I had stayed before I was actually dating Hotch. I looked around for a few seconds but then I walked back out and closed the door again. I walked into the room that I had more recently been in. I decided that I'd stay in his room. His bed, at least, would give me the small comfort of his scent, because Rossi was right, I did miss him already and it had only been a week.

I put my bag on the bed and walked back out and down the hall to Jack's room. He sat at the desk in his room with three workbooks open in front of him, "It's 9:30, Jack."

"But I have so much work to do. I've been doing it at Aunt Jessica's all afternoon and I still have heaps. Dad always says that they always give out too much."

I nodded, "They _do_ give out too much. Come on, get ready for bed. If your teacher gets mad with you then they can call me."

He smiled, "Okay." He stood up and walked to the dresser to get his pyjamas out. I walked back out and closed the door behind me. I took a few files from my bag in Hotch's room and walked downstairs. There was a lamp on the desk in the corner of the dining room and I turned it on. I put water on to boil and went back upstairs to get my glasses. I checked on Jack again and he was just getting under his blankets when I opened the door. I said good night to him and went back downstairs, made myself a coffee and sat at the desk. I read through files and completed some paperwork.

Eventually, after two coffee's, I decided that I should probably get some sleep. I went upstairs and lay down in Hotch's bed. It did smell like him and I was happy with the decision I made. I lay on the pillows on which I normally did when I stayed over and the one that Hotch normally slept on, I held to me. I felt Sergio lying near my feet and I listened to his quiet constant purr until I finally fell asleep.


	30. Chapter 30

**Another late night one; I know. I'm sorry!**

 **Prentiss**

Three weeks had passed and I was missing Hotch so much. Jack was doing okay; he was pretending that his father was still in the same country, going to return any day now. I, however, was not so good at pretending. I knew he wasn't coming home anytime soon, I knew I couldn't see him or even call him.

I walked into the precinct this morning and to my desk. I put my bag down and greeted the team with a smile, but it wasn't as big as it normally would be.

"Bad morning, pumpkin?" Garcia asked quietly.

"I miss him." I admitted quietly as I looked down.

JJ gave me an apologetic smile, "How's Jack going?"

"Better than me, surprisingly, but we'll survive. We had a movie night on Saturday, it was actually really fun."

"That's sweet." JJ smiled.

"How are we all today?" Rossi asked as he joined us.

The other four all answered with a "good" or "great", and I didn't reply. Rossi looked at me when he realised his hadn't heard and raised his eyebrows.

"I'm fine." I said as I spun my chair back around.

"…Okay…Garcia; do we have a case this morning?"

"I have two to choose from sir and I cannot decide which we should take and I feel so bad for not knowing."

"I'll help you decide." JJ said as she jumped down from Reid's desk where she was sitting.

I knew they'd take a while so I signed off another piece of otherwise completed paperwork and started on the next, opening and reading the file on top.

"Round table." JJ tapped my shoulder as she walked past. I closed the file over and put my pen down. I walked up to the round table room a few steps behind Morgan and Reid. Rossi, Garcia and JJ were there already.

We sat down and I thanked Garcia when she past me a file. I opened it and looked over the photographs inside. "My god…full on. I thought I felt sick before."

"There's blood everywhere…" JJ said quietly.

The word "blood" reminded me of something. "Hey, what's the date today?"

"December 3rd." Reid said.

"Thanks for clarifying the month…" I said sarcastically as I took my phone from my pocket. I opened the calendar in it and counted from my last period that I had marked. My eyes widened, "Shit."

"…What? Something bad about the third?" Morgan asked.

"Uh…Rossi, do you mind if I meet you guys at the plane and you catch me up there?"

He studied me for a few seconds before nodding, "Sure. We'll leave in forty." He was giving the team ten minutes to discuss here.

I nodded, "Thank you." I stood up and walked out quickly. I grabbed my bag and slipped the case file into it before walking out with it and my go bag on my shoulder.

I got to my car and called Jessica as I pulled out of the lot. I told her that we had a case and hung up after talking to her for another five minutes or so. I pulled up at a drugstore and went inside quickly. I stood in front of the shelves of pregnancy tests and bit my lip as I looked at all the brands. So many brands, so little time to look into them.

"Hi!" An enthusiastic worker greeted me, "Can I help you with something?"

"Uh…yes, actually. Which brand would you recommend?"

"Well there are a few good ones," She said as she looked through them, "These ones are voted the top three brands from our customers." She said as she took out three different brand boxes and showed me. I took the three from her and read the back. I didn't have time to read into it much.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"No problem. Let me know if you need anything else." She smiled and then walked away to the next customer she saw. I walked to the counter with the three boxes and got my wallet out of my handbag. I paid with cash in case Garcia got too suspicious of me and looked into my recent purchases.

I put the boxes into my handbag and walked back to my car. I drove over to JJ's house. It was the closest, knew she wasn't here, I knew Henry was at school and Will's car wasn't here so I assumed he was at work. I had a key to her house in case of emergency, and I considered this an emergency right now.

I went inside and used the three tests quickly. All three tested positive and I stared at them for a few minutes. "Oh no." I breathed quietly to myself. I closed my eyes and lowered myself to the ground slowly. I shook my head and dropped it into my hands, "No, no, no."

After a few minutes, I realised that I didn't have long to get to the airstrip. I stood up and went to the kitchen. I got one of those small brown paper bags that parents wrapped their children's lunch in and I put the test sticks in it. I wouldn't put them in JJ's trashcan.

I walked out of her house quickly and made sure I locked up. I drove to the airstrip quickly and saw the team getting onto the plane when I pulled up. Morgan was looking around from halfway up the steps before he saw my car. He walked back down and approached me as I made my way to the plane with both my bags.

"Hey, is everything okay?" He asked when we met. He walked beside me towards the plane.

"Everything is fine," I nodded. His eyes were filled with concern. "Morgan, I'm okay. I just really needed to do something; it's fine. Let's focus on the case, please?"

He nodded, "Okay, but you know I'm always here if you need anything. The whole team is."

"I appreciate that, but _I'm fine_." I climbed onto the plane with him a step behind me and I got my glasses out from my bag as I sat down beside Rossi. I took my case file too and Morgan put my bag in the above shelf for me. I thanked him and opened the file.

"Is everything okay? You look flustered and stressed." Rossi said to me once the whole team was paying attention.

I sighed, "I'm fine and I'm sorry I had to leave earlier. Catch me up?"

* * *

We closed the case within three days but we had to stay an extra night because it was too late to fly by the time we finished at the station. I had shared a room with JJ over the past few days and she hadn't questioned why I ran out so quickly before the flight there until last night. I changed the subject swiftly and I kept changing it when it came back. She was suspicious but she wasn't prying too much.

When we got back to the precinct today, I let Jessica know that I could pick Jack up from school and I didn't bother going home to my apartment or Hotch's house. Being there would just give me more time to think about the fact that there is possibly a human growing inside of me.

I sat at my desk and opened the top file and began the paperwork which I had started four days ago.

"You're not going home to get some rest?" Rossi asked me. I looked up and saw the five other present members of my team standing by my desk.

"…Uh, no. I have a lot of paperwork to do."

"Boss-man is rubbing off on you." Garcia said.

I smiled and looked back down.

"Come out for lunch." Morgan said, tapping my shoulder.

I sighed and stood up, "Okay." I put the paperwork inside the file and closed it over. I slid it and several others into my bag and walked out with the team.

"Maybe you can tell us what's got you so distracted." Rossi said as we walked into the elevator.

I shook my head, "Nope."

"Can we have a hint?" Garcia asked.

"Nope." I repeated the word.

"Is it Hotch?" Reid asked quietly.

"No, he's fine."

"So it's a personal thing?" Morgan asked.

I ignored him and looked at my phone as it started to ring. "Agent Prentiss." I answered the call.

"Ms Prentiss, I've been informed that you are the temporary caretaker of Jack Hotchner?"

"I am." I confirmed.

"Jack has gotten into a fight at school. Don't worry, he's the victim, not the perpetrator, but he would like to come home and the principal thinks he should. Are you able to pick him up?"

What the hell did "don't worry" mean? He was in a fight, but _don't worry,_ he's the victim, like that makes it better. I decided that I wouldn't express how wrong it was to say that. "Yeah, I can come pick him up. I'll be there in about twenty minutes. Is he okay?" I said as I looked at my watch. I walked out of the elevator with the team.

"He's upset and his eye a bit black, but he should be okay."

"Thank you." I hung up and looked at the team.

"Is everything okay?" JJ asked.

"I'm going to have to take a raincheck on lunch. Jack got in a fight at school and I have to go pick him up."

"Did he start it?" Reid asked.

I shook my head, "She told me not to worry because he was the victim. Because you know, you only need to worry for the wrong."

"I don't think that she meant it like that." Rossi shook his head.

"Well if he doesn't want to go home, the two of you can meet us at the café." JJ offered.

I smiled, "I'll ask him and text you. If he doesn't, then I'll see you all tomorrow."

"Good luck." Garcia said.

I snickered, "Yeah, thanks." I walked away from them and to my car. I contemplated trying to call Hotch, but the day before he became unreachable, he told me that he'd call me the moment he could so I figured I wouldn't be able to reach him yet.

I drove out of the lot in front of the team and turned the opposite way to them. I reached the school in about twenty minutes like I had estimated and parked outside. I got out of the car and made sure my gun wasn't visible before walking towards the admin building of the school.

I walked to the desk and waited for the office administrator to finish the phone call she was having. She hung up and smiled at me, "Agent Prentiss?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yes."

She nodded, "Jack will be out in a minute. He is just getting his backpack from his class. Can you please sign this for me and then you'll be free to take him." I signed it and gave her pen back to her, "The principal is working on setting up a meeting between the other boy's parents as well as you. He'll call you when he organises a time to see if it suits you.

I nodded, "Thank you." I smiled at her. She motioned to the seats against the wall and I walked over quietly and sat down. I checked my phone to occupy myself and looked up when I heard the door open. Jack walked in and he looked at me.

"Hi Emily."

I stood up and frowned at him. His eye was black, "Oh honey, are you okay?"

He nodded and I hugged him. He returned it willingly. "Come on." I grabbed his bag from him and opened the door. I looked back at the office lady, "Thank you." I thanked again and I walked out behind Jack.

He got into my car and clipped the seat belt up straight away, "The rest of the team is out for lunch. Do you want to go eat something or do you want to go home?" Jack was always one to love eating at restaurants and cafes, even just ice cream.

He looked at me, "Lunch."

I nodded with a smile, "Okay." I texted JJ and she replied in little time to tell me where they were. I drove away from the school and towards the café where they were. I asked Jack about what happened and after a few minutes of me assuring him that he could tell me, he gave in and recounted what happened.

"I'm so sorry, Jack." I glanced at him.

"It's not as bad as it sounds."

"It's happened before?"

"Once. No one saw though so the school didn't know. Dad didn't even know."

"You should have told someone. This is bullying, Jack."

"Sorry."

"No, you don't need to apologise," I shook my head, "It wasn't your fault. You were just talking to your friends." I pulled up at the café. I turned the car off and looked at him, "Hey, if you need anything or you need to talk about something, you know that I'm here, right?"

He nodded.

"And so is the rest of the team. Reid was bullied a lot as a kid; I'm sure he'll understand everything."

He nodded again.

I smiled and roughed his hair up, "Alright, let's go eat something. I'm starving."


	31. Chapter 31

**Prentiss**

I was at about nine weeks pregnant now. I went to the doctor about three weeks ago to confirm what I already knew. The Christmas that past, I had early with the team. Then I spent the days from the 22nd to the 27th in Italy with my father. We visited my mother's grave and went to see some of the famous landmarks. I had to tell him about my pregnancy and it was not easy to do. He wasn't the easiest person to talk to about anything. He was relatively neutral to the idea, but he was upset at the time. The next week after we returned to America, he called me and congratulated me more enthusiastically. He was happy about it now.

Hotch still hadn't contacted me and I was missing him more and more each day, but I worked to the best of my ability without him and while trying to keep my secret…still a secret.

We were working a case with missing children. They were high risk takes, so the unsub was either careless or so good that they knew they wouldn't be caught kidnapping the children. They took them on their way home from school and we had already determined that it was a team, most likely a committed couple.

I was currently sitting in a room with the team and a single mother of one of the missing children. Her 14 year old daughter had only started at the school not long ago.

"Do you have kids, Agent Jareau?" She asked her quietly.

JJ looked at her and nodded, "A son."

"If he were taken, would you give up?"

She hesitated and looked down, "No ma'am."

"What about you, Agent Prentiss? Do you have kids?"

"Not my own yet, but I am currently looking after my partners son."

"How old is he?"

"12. 13 in October." I looked at her.

"And his mother?" She asked.

"She passed on a few years ago." I looked at the woman sitting down across the table. She looked like she hadn't slept since her daughter went missing.

"So you see him as your own," She nodded, "If he went missing, would _you_ give up?"

"No, I wouldn't." I shook my head.

She nodded, "I've had several people that have told me that maybe I should. It's only been a week."

"Ms Rawlings, nothing we have found suggests in the slightest that your daughter _isn't_ alive. I wouldn't give up until you saw reason to." Morgan said.

A wave of nausea flushed over me. It happened so often and would just hit at any time of day; so much for "morning" sickness. "Excuse me." I stood up and walked out quickly. I reached the bathroom just in time before I threw up. I held my own hair back and tried to calm myself but when I took a breath, I threw up again.

I heard the door open and I felt someone else hold my hair back for me. I knew it was JJ by her perfume. She rubbed my back lightly and waited. Once I felt okay again, I flushed the toilet and walked to the sink. I splashed water on my face to cool me down and cupped some into my hands before drinking it.

"How long have you been sick?" She asked me after I dried my hands and face with paper towel.

"I don't know, a while," I shrugged my shoulders, "I'll be fine."

"…How long is a while?"

"Don't worry about it, Jayje," I brushed her off, "Come on; we need to get Alyssa back to her mother." She wanted to pry, I could see it in her eyes, but she knew that the case was more important at the moment. She knew that if I really was too sick to work, that I probably wouldn't say it but it would be very obvious in my behaviour.

We walked back to the room where the other three still sat with Ms Rawlings. "Where'd you go?" Reid asked us.

"I had a call about Jack. Sorry." I lied and glanced at JJ. She looked confused but she wouldn't blow it for me. She sat down again and called Garcia.

* * *

The case took another two days to solve. The victim had survived significantly longer than what was usual for other unsubs like these two. We were very fortunate to have found her in time.

We sat in silence of the plane. Rossi was beside me, JJ and Reid across from us and Morgan was on the couch, sitting near us.

"…So how far along are you?" Rossi asked me.

I looked at him with confusion, "What?"

"When Ms Rawlings asked if you have kids, you said "not my own _yet_ ". You were sick, you have been for a while," Reid said, "You freaked out over the date and I saw you trying to reach Hotch ten times in three minutes the day after the flight from when you disappeared for a while. We know you're pregnant."

I sighed and looked downwards. My right hand was in a loose fist and I put it in front of my mouth as I closed my eyes, "How long have you known, exactly?"

"Just since Wednesday. That's when I connected the dots." Reid nodded.

"Why didn't you think you could tell us?" JJ asked.

I shook my head, "I haven't even told Hotch."

"What?" Morgan raised his eyebrows.

"I can't reach him. I haven't been able to for a long while."

"When will you be able to reach him again? He couldn't stay out of reach for months, could he?" JJ asked.

"He already has. I haven't spoken to him since the week after he left."

"And that's killing you, isn't it?" Rossi asked.

I snickered, "You have no idea."

"So…how far along?"

"9 weeks." I looked at him at my side. He nodded and opened his book.

"…Would have been nice if you told me _before_ I sent you out into the field…" He mumbled quietly.

I stared at him for a second, "I can still work the job. The only thing that bothers me is the morning sickness. And that poses a question. Why is it called "morning" sickness? Because I have it all damn day."

"Well it's called morning sickness because the symptoms are more likely to occur early in the day, although plenty of women get it at all different times of day. The cause of morning sickness isn't exactly confirmed, but most experts say that it's because of the changes in the woman's hormone levels during pregnancy." Reid explained.

"Hey Reid, what are the chances of twins?" JJ asked curiously.

"Tests in 2013 accounted about 3 in 100 births in the Unites States were twins. Between the years 1980 and 2009, the birth of twins rose by about 76 per cent and has stayed like that since. Today, nearly 4 per cent of births in the States are now born in sets of two, three or more, but the majority of multiple births are twins. The chances of having twins increase if you have twins in your family, you're tall, you're overweight, you have at any time underwent fertility treatment, you've previously had twins, you've been pregnant before and it's more common among African-Americans. Surprisingly, the chances of twins increased as you age, too."

JJ nodded, "I always wondered how horrible it would be to have twins. One young child is a handful; two or more would just be torture."

I laughed, "And your kid is one of the more easy ones."

She nodded and laughed too, "I know. I was lucky."

* * *

I gave permission for JJ to tell Garcia about my pregnancy. It wasn't fair for the rest to know and not her. I only went inside the precinct only long enough to grab some files so I didn't see Garcia. She called me when I was driving to Jessica's and congratulated me very enthusiastically.

Jack played with Sergio for a while when he got home and I tried calling Hotch again. I called the number he provided me next; the person I could call that would pass my message on.

"Hi, this is Agent Prentiss with the FBI," I figured that introducing myself as an agent might make the message sound more urgent, "Agent Aaron Hotchner is out of reach in Iraq on temporary duty at the moment and I was curious to know if you knew an approximate time he would be contactable again?"

"One second," The man said. I heard typing on his end and I paced back and forth in the bedroom, "Agent Prentiss?" He asked if I was still here after a short while.

"Yes."

"I'm not certain on a time that he will become reachable again, but I would estimate another two weeks. Would you like to me pass a message on or would you like to wait until then?"

"Uh…" I thought about it for a few seconds, "I'll wait. Thank you so much."

"Would you like me to notify him that you were trying to reach him?"

"Yes please, that would be great. Thank you again." I hung up and turned towards the door when I saw Jack out the corner of my eye, "Hey, you okay?"

"Was that dad?"

I tilted my head slightly and gave him a sympathetic smile, "No, it wasn't. I was just asking someone when they thought he might be reachable again. They think maybe two weeks but they don't have a confirmed time."

"I miss him." He said quietly.

"I do too," I agreed. I looked at my watch, "Time to get ready for bed, buddy."

He nodded and walked down the hall to his room. I sat down on the bed and sighed to myself before dropping my head into my hands. I just wanted to hear his voice, have a conversation with him, tell him that he was going to be a father again.

My phone buzzed and I looked at JJ's text. _"What's up tomorrow?"_

" _Not sure yet. Probably spent the day at home with Jack or something. Why?"_

" _Bring him over here. He can play with Henry and you can catch up with Will and I."_

" _I'll ask Jack tomorrow morning."_

My phone was dying so I plugged it into the charger and got up. I stood in front of the mirror in the ensuite and brushed my hair out. I walked back into the bedroom and closed the door. I had a quick shower and got changed into one of Hotch's sweaters and a pair of my pyjama pants. I cleaned the lenses of my glasses and slid them on.

I walked down the hall and looked through the door to Jack's room. The light was out and he was already in bed. I smiled to myself and walked down the hall to the staircase. I went down and sat at the desk in the corner of the dining room with a cup of coffee and only the lamp on. I went through more paperwork than I normally would in one sitting and my back hurt by the time I took a break. How did Hotch do this _every_ day?

I stood up and put more water on to boil. I walked around the kitchen for a while until the water was ready and I made myself another coffee. I sat back down and started working again.

* * *

I heard Jack walking upstairs and I looked up from the paperwork. The sun was up. I had been so out of it that I worked all night and didn't notice the time pass. "Shit." I said quietly to myself. I turned the no longer necessary lamp out and stood up. At least I didn't have any paperwork left to do…well, not until I got into work on Monday, anyway.

I got up and put water on again. I opened the fridge and got out eggs and bacon. I made the coffee and I cooked it up and I poured some orange juice into a glass. Jack came downstairs and sat down at the dining table when I served the food up for him. I sat down and ate with him, although I didn't really feel all that hungry.

"So JJ offered for us to go over to her place today if you wanted to play with Henry. Do you want to go or do you want to do something else?"

"I want to go."

I nodded, "Okay, I'll let her know."

I finished eating and waited for him to finish before I cleaned up. I cleaned the counter tops down as well before I went upstairs and got my phone. I texted JJ and she told us to come around whenever we wanted.

We went around there for lunch.


	32. Chapter 32

**Prentiss**

I walked off the plane with the team and towards the cars waiting to take us back to Quantico. It was very early in the morning and I had slept on the plane.

"Okay, I'm sorry but…" JJ lifted my shirt to reveal my stomach.

"Oh, really?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"You're only 12 weeks. My bump wasn't this big at 12 weeks…"

"Okay, stop." I rolled my eyes and pulled my shirt back down. The other three laughed at me. We stepped into the single SUV, Reid between JJ and I in the back and Rossi in the passenger seat. Morgan almost always drove when he could. My phone rang once we pulled away from the airstrip and I looked at the number. I didn't recognise it.

"Agent Prentiss." I said as I held the phone to my ear.

"Very professional. Hi." I heard Hotch's voice and I knew my eyes lit up.

"Hey!" I said excitedly, "Oh my god!" I accidently hit Reid at my side, "Oh, sorry Reid."

"Ow…" Reid said quietly.

Tears filled my eyes as I listened to his voice, "You hurt Reid? Never mind, I don't particularly want to talk about Reid right now. You've been calling me like crazy, is everything okay? Is Jack okay?"

"Jack's fine, everything's fine. Morgan got shot in the arm yesterday, but everything else is fine. You have to call Jessica to talk to Jack; we just got back from a case."

"I called you to talk to you, Emily."

"Well how are you? Are you safe? Are you in danger? Are you coming home?"

He sighed, "Not yet. I'm okay, honey. I'm in the same amount of danger as I would be in the field with a more serious, complex unsub."

"I find that _really_ hard to believe."

"The only thing that's wrong with me is how much I miss you, Jack and the team."

I smiled to myself, "We miss you too."

"And how are you?"

"Uh…I'm fine. Nothing's really happened out of the ordinary lately." I glanced around the car. Morgan looked at me briefly over his shoulder with raised eyebrows, Rossi was looking at me through the side mirror and JJ and Reid were both staring at me. They were all questioning why I didn't tell him now.

"How's Jack?"

"He misses you a lot, but he's still doing better than me, surprisingly. He got in a fight at school a few weeks ago. They kid punched him in the face because his father was in jail and you put people there. Jessica and I had a meeting with the principal and the mother of the other kid so it's all sorted out now. He had a black eye for a few days but he thought it was cool after Morgan and Reid made him feel better about it."

"But he's okay now, right?"

"Yeah, he's fine." I assured.

"Are you with the team?"

"Yes, just not Garcia." I confirmed.

"Put me on speaker please?"

I smiled and pushed the speaker button.

"Hey!" JJ and Reid said enthusiastically at the same time.

"Hey guys." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Hey man, how's it going there?" Morgan asked him.

"Well we're not really getting any closer to finishing this at the moment. We need a breakthrough to speed up the time here."

"You should _really_ find that breakthrough because I _really_ need you to come back."

I heard him laugh to himself, "You'll survive a few more months."

"Months!? Are you kidding me? How many?"

"Anywhere between one and thirty…"

I closed my eyes and dropped my head into one hand.

"You miss me _that_ much?"

I took a breath, "Aaron, I'm—" I stopped before saying 'pregnant'. I couldn't tell him over the phone, it just wasn't right. I closed my eyes again and shook my head. "I miss you." I resorted to that.

JJ made it sound a little less suspicious, "Aw, me too." She smirked at me.

"Me three." Reid smiled.

I looked at Rossi and Morgan, "The other two do as well, they would just never admit it," I smirked at them, "And Garcia _really_ misses you. Every time she calls to give us information on something, she doesn't hang up until she asks if we've heard from you. She's even almost asked us why you hadn't called her about something yet. She keeps forgetting."

Morgan pulled into the precinct lot and we stepped out of the car. Rossi carried my bag for me as I kept speaking to Hotch. When we stepped onto the sixth floor from the elevator, I smiled at Garcia. We all stood with her and I put the phone on speaker again.

"Okay." I said.

"Hey Garcia." Hotch said.

"Ah!" She screamed quietly in excitement, "Oh my god! Sir, how are you? When are you coming back? Are you kicking arse over there?"

"I'm doing my best." I could hear the smile in his voice again.

"And how are you feeling about the whole new Emily thing?" She asked, referring to my pregnancy. My eyes widened.

JJ gasped quietly, "She hasn't told him." She sung.

"…Oh no…I'm sorry." Garcia looked at me.

I shook my head, "It's okay."

"What new Emily thing?"

"Uh…I was offered a position at the state department." I lied. It was the first thing that came to mind, "I declined, so Garcia is just elated that I chose the team over a new job. She likes to tell people about it."

"Take me off speaker?"

"I think you should call Jack."

"Emily—"

"I have to go; we've got work to do here."

"You're lying, but okay. I'll call you back later."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye." He hung up and I looked at Garcia.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She said quickly.

"Why didn't you just tell him?" Morgan asked.

"Because I feel like it isn't okay to do over the phone…"

"Well yeah, it sucks that way, but you might not see him for months," JJ said, "And you're starting to show."

"Then won't he be in for a huge surprise when he gets back…his girlfriend all bloated and moody." Rossi said.

I snickered, "Gee, thanks. I have to go book an appointment for next week, so conversation over." I said as I walked away from them. I went through the glass doors into the bullpen and dropped my bags on the ground as I slumped into the chair. I sighed to myself and dropped my head into my hands. I should call him back and tell him but I wanted him to speak to Jack first.

I decided I'd do it later and I spun my chair to my desk. I was supposed to go home and get some rest, relax after the case, but I started the new paperwork on my desk. I was turning into Hotch. After a few minutes, I decided to call the doctor to book an appointment.

* * *

I worked for about an hour before I decided that enough was enough. JJ, Ross, Reid, Morgan and Garcia were all around our desks. They didn't want to leave me here, so despite me silently working, they stayed here and talked to each other. I picked my phone up and dialled the number that Hotch had called me on previously.

"Em?" He picked up quickly.

"Yeah, did you get a new phone?"

"I lost mine somewhere in the reception-less areas of Iraq. This is my temporary personal one; my work one if fine. I'll get a new one when I get back."

"Yeah…about that. Do you have _any_ idea when you'll be back?"

"I told you, between one and thirty months."

I closed my eyes, "I'm going to need you to come back within the next six or seven at the most." The team fell silent behind me.

"What? Why? What's wrong?"

I took a deep breath, "I don't want to tell you over the phone; I want to tell you in person."

"I'm not allowed to leave."

"Then I'll come to Iraq and force them to take me to you."

"Emily, just tell me. Come on, you're worrying me."

I bit my lip and glanced at the team. JJ nodded encouragingly and the others just watched me. I don't know why I couldn't do it, but the words just wouldn't leave my mouth. I stood up and walked away from them quickly. I reached Hotch's office and closed the door behind me.

"Emily, are you there?"

"Yeah." I said quietly.

"Are you okay?"

I took a deep, unsteady breath, "Aaron…I'm pregnant." I waited for something, anything to tell me what he was thinking or feeling right now, but there was only silence. "Hotch? Aaron? Please, please say something."

"Are…are you sure?"

I snickered, "You think I wouldn't check a million times? I took three at home tests and then had the doctor run two of his tests."

"Well how far?"

"12 weeks, almost 13."

I heard him sigh, "I'm so sorry that you couldn't call me sooner."

"No, it's not your fault. But my pregnancy, now _that_ is your fault." I smirked.

He snickered, "So does the team know?"

"Yeah. I tried to keep it from them but…well, you know, they're profilers."

"Well how are you taking it?"

"I'm worried," I admitted without hesitation, "I'm here pregnant with your child, and you're in a different country and you have no idea when you're coming back. The kid could be two before you get back for all we know."

"I am going to do everything I possibly can to get home to you."

I took another breath, "I just don't want you to be away in seven months. I don't even want you to be away in two, I mean, you're going to miss it all."

"No I'm not; I am going to come back in time, Emily. I promise."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep." I shook my head.

"Emily, I am going to do everything I can."

I sniffed, "I have an appointment next week…the first ultrasound. You're not going to see it."

"Take JJ with you. I might not be home for a few weeks, but I _will_ be there for the birth, honey."

I nodded to myself and wiped the single tear on my cheek, "Honestly, are you happy or disappointed?"

"I'm surprised, but I would never be disappointed. I'm elated."

"Are you going to lose cell service again anytime soon?"

"I think I have a more weeks at the least before I might have to go back out. Let me know when the appointment is and I'll call you after it."

"It's on Friday afternoon at 3:45, Virginia time."

"Are you still working? How will you be sure that you'll be there?"

"I am working. If we happen to still be on a case, then I'll leave early for the appointment." I sat down and we continued talked for a long while. Eventually, he was called to go do something that I probably wasn't really allowed to know the details of. We exchanged "I love you" before he hung up and I sat in his office for another ten minutes before I decided to get up.

I walked out his office door and down the steps towards my desk. JJ asked how it went, I vaguely recounted our conversation and then she invited me to lunch with the rest of the team. Once again, I slipped more paperwork into my bag and left with them. I'd admit, I was hungry. I was eating for two now.

We went to a café down the street and I asked JJ if she'd come with me next week. She was happy that I asked and she was excited to be there. I was nervous and excited all the same, but I tried to keep my mind off it for the most part.


	33. Chapter 33

**Prentiss**

"Shit, shit, shit." I repeated to myself several times as I paced back and forth in the round table room. The others sat at the table, watching me. JJ was the only one who knew why I was _so_ stressed right now. "Shit!" I said louder before sitting down and dropping my head into my hands.

"Mind telling us what's going on?" Morgan asked, breaking the silence coming from the team.

"I thought _one_ kid was going to be hard." I said quietly.

"What?" Garcia gave me a confused look.

"You're having twins?" Reid sat up straighter.

I looked at him. "I'm going to have to resign." I didn't give him an answer, but that one sentence was enough to confirm it for them. "I'll have to work a nine to five job, if I do at all, and have weekends off and live on a schedule and Hotch will leave me because he'll be travelling and I'll be too tired when he's home to communicate or even stay awake with him past nine."

"Okay, stop." JJ stopped me before I could continue.

"Sorry." I said quietly.

"I love when you vent to us; it's so rare." Garcia smirked.

I sighed and sat back, looking at my phone briefly before putting it back down on the table. I wanted to call Hotch and tell him but he said that he would call me, so I didn't know if he was busy right now or not and I didn't want to interrupt him.

"Have you told him?" Rossi asked.

I shook my head, "He said that he'd call me. I figured that meant that he didn't want me to call him."

"So when do you want to go on maternity leave?" He asked.

"I don't." I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah…you're going to have _twins_. You're going to be exhausted just carrying them." JJ said.

"And you're going to be massive." Garcia added.

"Oh yeah, that's exactly what I needed to be reminded of. Thanks for that, Penelope."

"I speak the truth, baby."

"Anyway…I don't need time off, Rossi."

"You think Hotch will let you keep working?" Morgan raised his eyebrows at me.

"Well he isn't here, is he?" I looked at him. He looked at Rossi and the other three followed suit. Rossi looked around at them and then his eyes landed on me.

"…I guess I'll call Aaron later?"

"No. He isn't here, it isn't up to him. It's up to you and the last thing you want to do is ruin my life, right?" I smirked.

"Well you still have a few months before we make a decision, but I'll be reducing your field work as much as I possibly can."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Work from the station, coordinate with Garcia and help us out from there. Map, read, etcetera."

"…I'm not Reid." My phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. It flashed with Hotch's new temporary personal phone. I bit my lip and looked at JJ. She smiled at me and motioned for me to answer the call.

I stood up and accepted it as I walked towards the door of the room. I was far enough away that they wouldn't hear me speaking before I held the phone to my ear, "Hey." My voice sounded sombre.

"…What's wrong? You sound disappointed, almost sad."

"I don't know how I'm feeling right now."

"So the appointment didn't go well? What happened?"

"The appointment went fine; both seem fine."

" _Both?"_

"What?"

"You said "both seem fine". Both?"

"Congratulations." I said quietly.

"We're having twins!?"

"That we are. Do you have any twins in your family?"

"I don't think so."

"Must just be chance or age. The chance of twins increases with age."

"…Okay Reid." He laughed. I laughed with him and looked back at the team behind me. They were watching me and talking to each other. I walked to Hotch's office and sat down at his desk. We would probably talk about it for a while.

* * *

I took Jack out to eat for dinner tonight and then I took him for ice cream. He told me all about school and all about a girl that he liked. It was adorable, the way he turned red and got all nervous when he talked about her. Her name was Emma, she was shorter than Jack and she had brown hair. That was how he described her initially.

Hotch called me on our way home. It was around 9 or 9:30 pm our time, so it would have been around 5 or 5:30 am his time. It would have been around 1 am where he was earlier today. He spoke with Jack through the Bluetooth as I drove home and I would occasionally contribute to the conversation. Once we got home, I gave Jack my phone and he ran inside ahead of me, still talking to Hotch.

I went inside and fed Sergio and did some paperwork until Jack came down and gave my phone to me, "Dad said it's time for bed." He said as he handed it to me.

I looked at me watch, "It is," I nodded and took the phone, "Why don't you go get ready for bed?"

He nodded and walked away back towards the staircase. I looked at my phone and saw the number tick up by the second, timing the call. I held it to my ear, "Hey." I closed the file over and stood up. I walked around the kitchen for a while, talking to him. I went upstairs to check on Jack and found him asleep in bed. I closed his book and turned his lamp out. Then I went and lay in Hotch's bed, continuing to talk to him until he had to start working on whatever he was doing over there.

Once he hung up, I lay in bed for a while. I didn't feel even the slightest bit tired. I got up and had a long shower, although I think it just woke me up more. I got changed and searched for five minutes before I found one of my two pairs of glasses. I went downstairs and repeated the night that had been living often, drinking coffee into insane hours of the morning and doing paperwork or reading. Sometimes I'd get only a few hours' sleep, sometimes I'd get none. It was terrible and I couldn't keep living on little sleep for much longer while carrying two children, but every night, it was harder and harder to sleep without Hotch at my side or even a fifteen minute drive away.

My phone rang late and I picked it up, thinking it would be Hotch again. When I looked at the number, my hopes dropped. It wasn't his number. "Agent Prentiss." I answered the call.

"Agent Prentiss, this is Robert Farnell. I have been personally asked to contact you on behalf of your father. I am so very sorry Ms Prentiss, but your father has died."

I sat and stared at the blank wall in front of me for a few seconds, shock and sadness overwhelming me immediately. "…What? How? What happened? Where is—was he?"

"Italy. We've confirmed that he committed suicide…overdose. He left a note asking to be buried with his wife and asking that the money he left pays for his funeral and the rest goes to you. I already have someone planning the funeral so you don't have to go through that stress."

"When is it?" I didn't know what else to say.

"Next Thursday at noon. Once again, I am so very sorry for your loss, Agent Prentiss."

"Thank you." I hung up and stared at my phone. Why was this happening to me? My mother died, Hotch wasn't here, I was pregnant with twins and I wasn't there for my father when he needed me. Tears dripped from my eyes and I slid off the desk chair. I dropped to the ground and pulled my knees tightly to my chest as I cried.

* * *

I heard urgent knocking on the front door. Jack had come down this morning and saw me in uncontrollable tears. I didn't respond to him; I was zoned out when he talked to me. I must have terrified him. I assumed he'd called someone. Jack stood up from the dining table where he had been watching me from and he ran to the door. A minute passed and JJ walked in quickly, Will and the team behind her.

"Em? Emily, what happened?" JJ ran to me and dropped at my side.

"It…it's my fault." I sobbed. I didn't let myself cry like this in front of them at my mother's funeral, but this was worse, this was self-inflicted and it was caused by me.

"What's your fault, honey?" Garcia asked as she dropped to my other side.

"Jack, do you know how long she's been like this?" Morgan asked quietly. Jack shook his head and sat back at the dining table. He looked upset and helpless.

"Can I call dad?" He asked quietly.

I slid my phone across the floor towards Morgan. He picked it up and looked through the contacts to find Hotch's new number. He gave the phone to Jack and turned his attention back to me.

"The tiles are freezin'; take her to the livin' room, JJ." Will said, his accent thick. JJ nodded and she and Garcia stood up, pulling me with them. They guided me to the living room and made me sit on the couch. Garcia disappeared from my side and Rossi took her place. Reid sat on another couch beside Will, watching me. I dropped to the left into Rossi and he held me to him. He kissed my hair comfortingly and he held me until my tears calmed.

Jack came in and handed the phone to me, "He's worried."

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself more and thanked Jack quietly as I took the phone. I held it to my ear, "I'm fine."

"Jack found you in uncontrollable tears on the dining room floor and you couldn't even speak to him. He thinks you were there for a while and he doesn't think you slept so what happened?"

I sobbed and looked at Jack, "Jack, go back into the other room." I didn't want to say it in front of him. He knew what suicide was, he was 12 after all, but I still didn't want him to hear it. He nodded and walked back to the dining room. Garcia came in and put three coffees down in front of Rossi, JJ and I. Morgan brought the other four in and sat down beside Garcia.

"Please tell me what's going on?" He asked again.

I closed my eyes and looked down, trying to hold it all in and gain my composure back. It didn't work as well as I wanted, but my voice steadied a bit. "My father killed himself…and it was my fault."

"Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry. It wasn't your fault, Emily."

"It was. I'm a profiler for gods' sakes, and I didn't even realise that my own father was going to commit suicide."

"You haven't spoken to him in a while. He didn't answer your calls, remember?"

"I should have known and I should have done something." I sobbed again and Rossi held me tighter. JJ ran her hand up and down my arm comfortingly.

"No Emily, please don't blame yourself for this. Honey, if he wanted your help, he would have answered your calls and texts or he would have called you. He probably already made up his mind. You know that when it gets to that point, nothing will change your mind, not even your own daughter. The ambassador was all he knew, his whole life, and you did everything you possibly could have."

I bit my lip and sniffed, trying to breathe and calm myself down once again.

"Call the team and ask them to come over and keep you company. They'll go and support you at the funeral."

"They're already here; Jack called them before you."

"Well give the phone to Rossi and take a few breathes, okay? Calm down. I love you."

I closed my eyes and another tear rolled slowly, "I love you too," I dropped the phone from my ear and held it to Rossi, "He wants to talk to you."

He took it and squeezed my shoulder as he stood up, "Yeah." He said as he walked out of the room. JJ sat forwards and lifted my coffee. She passed it to me and I took it slowly. I sipped it and stared at the coffee table in front of us.

Morgan stood up and walked to the archway between the living and dining areas. He walked in and then back into the living room where the rest of us were a few seconds later. He looked at me, "You haven't been getting any sleep at all lately, have you?"

I managed to lift my eyes to his, but I didn't say anything. It was probably visible anyway.

"Em, you can't keep bringing the paperwork home if you're going to do it instead of sleeping. You're turning into Hotch."

Rossi came back in and gave my phone back. I threw it onto the coffee table and sipped the coffee again as he sat down next to me. "What can we do?" He asked.

I shook my head, "He already had someone plan the funeral and he paid for it himself. All I have to do is show up." My voice was quiet.

"When is it? I'll get the time off for everyone."

I looked at him and shook my head. I whispered to him, rather than speak for the others to hear, "I can't go."

"Why not?" He waited for me to speak but I didn't. He stood up and pulled me with him, "Come on." I sighed and stood, following him to the entry way. We stood at the base of the stairs and he asked me again, "Why can't you go?"

I bit my lip and looked down. I tapped my foot on the floorboards a few times and closed my eyes, trying to keep it together this time.

"Emily."

"I should have done something."

He shook his head, "This wasn't your fault, Emily, and you know it wasn't. You're upset that he left you and you're upset that he didn't tell you, but he chose this. He wanted to be with your mother."

Tears filled my eyes and I continually blinked them away, "I should have made more time; spent a week or so off after my mothers funeral and spent more time with him. If I had talked to him more, maybe I would have noticed."

"You can't blame yourself," He shook his head, "What you can do is you can go to his funeral and you can remember all the positive things. Don't think about the months following your mother's death; think of him before that."

"It's so much easier said than done."

He nodded, "I know, but you pulled through with your mum; we need you to try and do the same this time around."

"When my mother died, I told Hotch that I have lost people who I was closer to in the past and I would lose people that I _would_ be closer to in the future, but I never expected it to be him. I don't think I can do this much longer; live in a life of danger and death. I can't lose someone else that I love."

He enveloped me into a hug and kissed my cheek, "You're going to get through this, Tesoro."

"Thanks Rossi." I whispered to him quietly.


	34. Chapter 34

**Prentiss**

I sat in Venice, Italy; in the same spot I had months ago at my mother's funeral. I sat with my team, Rossi to my left, JJ to my right and the rest after JJ. Jack and Henry were sitting at the end with Garcia. My left hand was between Rossi's as he tried his best to comfort me. In 6 months, I would be due to give birth to my twins. My mother would never get to meet them or even know about them, my father the same and my boyfriend might not be home for their birth either. Hotch's mother was dead, his father went to jail for abusing him and killing his mother and died there. Our children wouldn't have grandparents.

After the funeral, the team walked with me back to the hotel that was close by. They were going to leave me to be by myself for a while, but then Reid expressed his concern about me being alone. Apparently he thought I might have done what my father had. I was grateful that they stayed with me; I didn't know what I would have done. Who knows? Maybe I would have done something stupid.

"Do you think that if I told him I was pregnant, he wouldn't have done it?" I asked quietly after silence had fallen over us.

Morgan sighed quietly and sat forwards, "Truth is Prentiss, no one knows. No one _will_ know."

I nodded and looked at my hands on the table as I picked at my nails. JJ put her hand over mine to stop me and I smiled at her appreciatively. "Do you ever just feel like your whole life is falling apart?"

"What do you mean?" Reid asked.

I bit my lip, "Doyle came back from the dead, Doyle went back _to_ the dead, Hotch and I have been on and off the whole time we've been together because we just have argument after argument, my mother died, I got pregnant, I found out it was twins, my father died." I listed the main things that I saw as my life falling apart.

They fell silent; no one knew what to say.

"What are you thinking?" Garcia asked for a while.

I took a breath and looked around at them, "Do you remember the day of my mother's funeral and my father told me to rethink my chosen occupation because it was so stressful?"

"…No…you can't leave." Garcia said.

I shook my head, "I haven't considered all my options yet, but I just want you all to be prepared if I choose to leave the bureau. You all know very well how much this job can destroy you."

"Only if you let it." Reid said sadly.

I shook my head, "It's just an option. I might stay, I might leave. I'm not planning on making a decision until after learning just how hard twins are and after talking to Hotch about it."

"We've been through a lot together. Some of us have had to leave and then come back and it was a _long_ while before we were a family again." JJ said.

"If I decide to leave, I'll still be around. You'll see me a lot, just not quite as much as you do now." I understood what JJ was getting at. That if I left, it would impact the team negatively; they wouldn't feel like a family.

"But we like how things are now," Garcia said. She had tears in her eyes, "Seriously, it feels weird when we have time off and I don't see you in even a week, let alone only seeing you once a week to once every two weeks to once a month for the rest of my life."

"Don't worry about it yet."

She nodded and sat back. She, JJ and Morgan all exchanged worried glances. Reid was looking at the piece of paper in front of him that he had been writing something on and Rossi was tapping each of his fingers together silently, looking forwards.

"How much damage do you think a few drinks would do?" I said quietly, asking no one in particular.

"A lot; don't even think about it." JJ said.

I sighed and sat back, "Yeah." My phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. Hotch's number flashed but I really didn't feel like discussing it. I declined the call and put my phone back down. It rang again a second later and I groaned, "Go away." I said quietly. I hung up again and turned my phone off.

After a minute or two, Rossi's phone rang. He looked at me as he got it out of his pocket. "Don't." I said.

He ignored me and accepted the call, holding the phone to his ear, "Rossi."

"Yep." He said quietly before looking at his phone. He put it on speaker and I shook my head at him.

"Emily, you know that I'm not going to stop calling until you talk to me."

"It's like midnight there. When do you sleep?"

"I don't; I'm magic like that."

"Would you like to talk to Jack?"

"I would like to talk to you. Preferably not in front of the whole team but if that's how you want it."

"I'm really not in the mood."

"She's thinking of leaving the BAU." Garcia said quickly.

I stared at her and shook my head. I didn't even know what to say.

"…What?" Hotch asked.

I stood up and grabbed my coat as I opened the hotel door and walked out. I pulled it closed behind me and walked away from the room. I couldn't do it right now.

* * *

I got back to the hotel room late and I walked in quietly. The team was still here, Will and Henry included. I took my coat off and threw it to the couch beside the door. "Why are you still here? Where's Jack?"

"He's asleep." JJ smiled.

"Hotch told us to keep a close eye on you." Reid said.

"Of course he did," I mumbled to myself, "I'm going to bed. Leave or stay, I don't care." I walked through the room and towards the room where my things awaited me.

"Emily?" I heard Jack say quietly. I turned and saw him walk out of the room he was sleeping in. "Dave said that you talked to dad before."

"Only briefly."

"So he still doesn't know when he's coming back?"

I tilted my head slightly and smiled sadly as I shook my head, "He doesn't."

Tears filled his eyes and a few dripped to his cheeks. He ran to me, seeking comfort. I held him to me and kissed his hair. I let him cry for a while, he needed to get it out, and then I crouched down to a lower height and looked up to him. I wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"Jack, you father is doing great things over there. He's saving the good people and catching the bad ones over there just like he does in Virginia. He'll be back before you know it. If you go to sleep now, then the night will pass faster and you'll be one night closer to seeing him again, so come on, bed." I pushed him gently back towards his room and followed him in. He climbed back into the bed and I kissed his forehead, "You need to get some sleep, honey," I said quietly, "Good night."

I walked towards the door and went to exit before he spoke quietly. "Emily?"

I turned back, "Yeah?"

"I love you."

I smiled, "I love you too, Jack. Now go to sleep!" I turned the light out and walked out. I closed the door behind me and tears stung my eyes.

"…Em?" JJ asked.

I looked at her and smiled, "He's so sweet and innocent." I said before walking back to my room. I got changed slowly and after a few minutes, I walked back out to the main room, "Are you guys really going to stay here all night?"

"No, we're going to go back to our rooms in a minute, but Garcia is staying with you and Morgan's sleeping on the couch." JJ said.

"Ah…no, Morgan and Garcia are going to go to their own rooms." I looked between the two of them.

"Sorry pumpkin, bosses orders." Garcia smiled.

"And I'm crashing on the couch because Garcia wanted me to and Hotch said have as many of us around as possible."

I tilted my head and readjusted my stance to a more defensive, attitude-filled one, "What do you think I'm going to do if I'm alone?"

"We don't know; that's kind of the point." Will said.

"Okay…see, Jack is in the next room. If I wanted to do something stupid, don't you think I'd wait until he wasn't around? I don't exactly want to scar him for life."

"Better safe than sorry," JJ's eyebrows rose and she shrugged her shoulders, "I was going to stay too, but we think Henry's getting sick."

"Where is he?"

"Asleep on the couch." She pointed to the other side of the room.

I nodded, "Okay, goodnight." I walked back into the room and I threw the door closed lightly behind me. I turned when I never heard it click shut and saw Garcia walking in. She smiled at me as she walked past and she jumped onto the bed.

"Which side do you want?"

* * *

I woke up in the early morning. Light shone through the small gap in the curtains over the window and lit the end of the bed in a line of sunlight. I looked at Garcia beside me. She was asleep, smiling slightly. She saw nothing but good in anything and everything; that was why she was always able to sleep soundly. I stared at the roof for a while, and hour or two maybe, before I got too restless.

I got up quietly and tried not to disturb Garcia. I walked to the small connected bathroom and had a long shower. I eventually got out and got changed into a casual outfit. I walked back through the bedroom where Garcia still lay asleep. I opened the door as quietly as I could and closed it behind me.

"Morning."

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed quietly, jumping and then placing my hand over my fast beating heart, "Jesus Christ Morgan, you're going to kill me." I shook my head and walked towards the kitchen. I put water on to boil and offered him a coffee. He accepted and I stood at the counter, tapping my fingers quietly and looking around. He stood up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen, leaning on the counter directly across from me.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm—"

"Don't say fine." He cut me off.

I sighed, "I've been better, but I _will_ be fine."

"Please tell me that you'll take more than two months off this time?"

"I'm not taking any time off, Morgan. I'm okay. Besides, I've got one preteen kid and I have two babies on the way; I need all the money I can get right now so that I don't struggle in the future when I physically can't work."

"Ah, but you have Hotch." He pointed out.

"I'm not the "rely on someone else" type."

"Okay…but even what you save now, having and raising twins is estimated to be more than fifteen thousand."

I smirked, "Okay, thanks Reid."

He closed his eyes and nodded as I laughed at him, "Yeah, okay, so I did a little research."

"Aw, you did?" I smiled.

He rolled his eyes, "I like to know what my team is going through and what they will be going through. Plus, I thought it'd be better to know if I ever were needed to help out with something."

I smiled wider as I turned around and made the coffees with the boiled water. "That's sweet."

"So if you or Hotch ever need anything, a night off from Jack while you're pregnant, I night off from all three kids after you give birth, a hand with something, anything, I'm always available. Someone to talk to about something that might be affecting you negatively…" The way he said it, you knew he was just waiting for me to give in and talk to him about my feelings on the reason we were even in Italy right now.

"…You're offering to take care of my children for a night?" I decided to focus on that and not his last offer.

"Well, I mean, I'd probably call Garcia to help me out, but yeah," He laughed when I did, "So what happened last night when you were in Jack's room?"

I looked down with a smile, "He told me that he loved me," I looked up and Morgan, "And when you try your hardest to make a kid like you and enjoy your presence even after everything he went through with his mother and the women Hotch dated that he didn't like, it's all you ever really want to hear."

He nodded, "He knows that you're different than the other temporary women Hotch dated. He gave you a chance to prove yourself because he knew you'd be sticking around, and I guess you proved yourself worthy of Hotch."

I took a deep breath as I nodded.

"And why didn't you want to talk to Hotch yesterday?"

I closed my eyes and bit my lip. I didn't really want to reveal anything to him, but he was trying to be as supportive as he could. "It's really hard. I didn't want him to ask how I was feeling or how I was doing because I would have just broke into tears and you all really didn't need to see that. I miss him so much that every time we talk, I cry. But I think the main reason that I didn't want to talk to him was because I knew that he'd feel guilty about not being able to help me because he's so far away. I didn't want him to worry."

"Well he's worrying more now than he would have if you talked to him."

I looked at my watch briefly. It was about two pm over in Iraq.

Morgan smiled and took the coffee that he hadn't touched yet, "Text him and see if he's free to talk." He stood up and walked towards the room where Garcia lay.

I bit my lip and picked my phone up from the counter beside me. I unlocked it and went into the text messages. The last one I sent was to Reid, but the second one was the number that didn't have a name to it, but I still knew it was Hotch. I had memorised that number.

" _Call me whenever you can? I'm sorry about last night; I just didn't want to cry again. I love you xx"_

I sent the text to Hotch and put my phone back down. I sipped my coffee and moved over to the couch that Morgan hadn't slept on. I sat down and pulled my legs up. I sit there for a while in silence, drinking the coffee and occasionally checking my phone. I could hear the quiet talking and laughing between Morgan and Garcia in the next room. It was comforting to know that even when you struggle in silence with something like I was right now, others were still able to smile and laugh. My laughs and smiles over the last few days all had that fakeness in them that was hard to achieve, but was generally believable.


	35. break

**Hey guys! Sorry for this chapter, it's just to let you all know that I wasn't aware there was a review posted in my name. My friend was on my account the other day and I just asked her; she said she thought it would be funny :(**

 **Sorry about that! She won't be on my account again.**

 **-A xx**


	36. Chapter 35

**Once again, I'm very sorry about that review. I don't think I can remove it :(**

 **-A xx**

* * *

 **Prentiss**

I was in my twentieth week of pregnancy and my maternity leave was supposed to start in six weeks, but I would probably go into the precinct anyway. I wouldn't fly, though; that seemed more risky to me. I had the baby bump, but it wasn't as big as I expected it would be with twins at this many weeks along. I had an anatomy scan booked for Friday evening, two days from now.

We were just wrapping a case up. Morgan had made the arrest and brought the guy in. The rest of us were cleaning up the room where were located in the station now.

"Feeling them kicking yet?" JJ asked me as I closed a few files and put them in a stack near my bag.

"Yeah, quite a bit, actually." I nodded.

"And did you tell Jack yet?" Rossi asked.

"I made Hotch do it." I smirked.

"And how'd he take it?" Morgan asked as he walked in.

I shrugged my shoulders, "He was alright with it I guess. He didn't really have that big of a reaction. Hotch was surprised that he didn't, actually. I've talked to him about it a few times since but he doesn't say anything negative about it. Nothing in his behaviour or posture changes when I bring it up."

"Maybe he really doesn't mind," JJ said, "He _is_ old enough to understand."

"Yeah," I nodded with a smile. I checked my watch and groaned, "Urgh, we're going to be back too late to pick him up from Jessica's."

"Well you'll see him tomorrow then," She smiled, "But you miss him. It's adorable."

"Yeah, yeah, you've acknowledged it, let's move on." I rolled my eyes. I looked around to make sure the others were all ready before I put my bag on my shoulder and lifted the files in front of me.

I walked out with Reid at one side of me and Morgan at the other. JJ and Rossi walked behind us. We walked through the station and towards the front before we were stopped by a local policeman. He wanted to talk to Rossi about something so we stood in a small circle near the entrance and waited for Rossi. Eventually, he returned to us and we walked out. We stopped by the hotel to grab the things we left in our rooms and Morgan checked us out. Next, we drove to the airstrip and made out way onto our jet.

JJ sat beside Rossi and Morgan and Reid both sat across from them. I dropped myself onto the couch and sighed. I put my hand over my bump and rolled onto my side, facing the wall with my back to the rest of the plane.

I was only intending on resting for a few minutes before I'd sit up and read a file or do paperwork or read my book, but I ended up falling asleep quite quickly.

* * *

I woke to JJ shaking me softly, "Hey, we've landed." She said quietly after I moved and she realised I had woken up. I blinked a few times for my eyes to focus to the light and I nodded. She stood up and grabbed my bag from the overhead compartment, "I've got your bag and the files." She said.

I waited another second to let myself wake up properly before I pulled myself up and took Rossi's hand for assistance up. I followed JJ off the plane and he followed me. She threw my bag into the car and stepped into the back. Rossi opened the passenger door for me and I thanked him as I stepped in. Morgan was already behind the wheel and Rossi stepped into the back where JJ and Reid waited.

"What's on your mind?" Morgan asked me once he'd started driving towards the precinct.

"Nothing." I tried to keep it casual.

"Come on, tell me." He raised his eyebrows at me.

I sighed and turned my head against the headrest and looked at him properly, "I'm just tired…and today has been a _long_ day."

"You've had a bad day," He nodded, "We already noticed."

I looked down at my hands, "I uh…I went to call my dad last night."

Silence fell over the car for a short while before Rossi spoke, "Well…I think this is the first time in history that no one on our team has had anything to say."

I laughed quietly, forcing it for the most part, "It's okay; I wasn't looking for comfort."

"Do you want to get drunk?" JJ asked. I turned slowly and looked at her with raised eyebrows. Rossi and Reid were looking at her too. "What?" She looked between the three of us.

"Still pregnant, Jayje." I looked forwards again and smiled to myself.

She clicked her tongue, "Right…sorry."

Morgan pulled into the precinct and we got out of the car. I contemplated just getting my things and leaving now, but I needed to drop these files off and get the ones with the paperwork with them on my desk. Morgan insisted on carrying my bag inside for me so I took the files and walked in behind the others and beside Rossi. We went through the security checks and made our way to the elevators.

I stood in silence as the other four talked together. JJ and Reid were laughing; Morgan and Rossi were talking about something else. I followed behind them out of the elevator and through the glass doors. Garcia met us at our desks and hugged the others before noticing me behind them.

"Hey pumpkin, you're looking glum today." She said as she approached me. I didn't reply to her, I just hugged her. She returned it and I knew she was smiling. I waited a few minutes before I let go of her. She kissed my cheek and looked at me, waiting for me to speak.

"Sorry, I just kind of needed that from someone who wouldn't profile my every move." I walked past her and put the files down on the side of my desk. I jumped up onto it and brushed my hair out of my dace.

"Garcia, are you pregnant?" JJ asked.

"God I hope not." She replied.

"Will you get drunk with me?"

"Well I'm always up for getting shitfaced drunk, but don't you want to get home to Henry and Will?"

"Henry is with my mum tonight and Will is…well…Will."

I groaned, "Please tell me that he isn't being a dick about this job again?"

She looked at me, "There are some things about this job that I _really_ hate, one being the arguments it causes."

"Well, let's get drunk!" Garcia said enthusiastically.

I kind of zoned out and went to my thoughts as they all talked together, but I looked up after I noticed that silence had fallen for a few more seconds than normal. I looked at them and half expected them to be looking at me, maybe waiting for an answer to a question I didn't hear or just wondering what was wrong, but they weren't looking at me. They were looking towards where the glass doors were behind me. Garcia, JJ and Reid had large smiles; Rossi and Morgan were both smiling but not nearly as much as the others.

I turned and looked behind me, curiosity overcoming me. Every negative thought disappeared, every thought and memory replaying themselves in my mind about my parents and the case, every piece of sadness and loneliness, all gone. Everything was replaced with surprise and then pure happiness and excitement overcame that.

I jumped down from the desk and ran towards Hotch. He dropped two bags he was holding and I ran into his arms. Despite my weight at the moment of both myself and the two children inside of me, he lifted me up and spun me around when I reached him. When my feet met the ground again, he pressed his lips to mine.

"You're back?" I asked when we parted, "Like, permanently? You're not just teasing me?"

"We got that breakthrough we needed." He smiled. I had tears in my eyes that threatened to fall. I put my arms around him again and closed my eyes. He kissed my hair above my ear. "I love you." He whispered quietly.

I placed another kiss on his lips before returning the words. He looked down towards my stomach but I shook my head, "No, go see the team first. I'll feel awkward if they watch you…I don't know…greet my stomach."

He laughed, " _Greet_ your stomach?"

I laughed too and he shook his head. He kicked one of his bags towards the other against the wall out of the way and walked over to the team. I walked beside him and leant against my desk. I watched as he smiled and hugged Garcia who was standing the closest to him.

"We're so glad you're back, sir." Garcia smiled.

He hugged JJ and shook Morgan and Rossi's hands. Knowing that Reid didn't like the idea of shaking hands, Hotch hugged him too. I smiled to myself and stood silently, listening as they all talked to him and he answered and asked questions.

My eyes started to become heavy after a while and Hotch noticed soon enough. He hugged the team again and said goodnight and that he'd see them on Friday. I said good bye to them and took the files that had the paperwork inside that I needed to complete and Hotch took my bag. He held his own two bags as well and I walked out with him beside me.

* * *

Hotch had insisted on driving home and he told me about his day with Jack. Once we got home, he decided to bring up what I knew he had wanted to since we left the precinct. "So Dave told me that you were having a really bad day today."

"I'm okay now, though." I smiled at him as we stepped out of my car. I took my bag before he could and walked up the path towards the door. He followed behind me and I unlocked the front door to his house. Sergio ran to the door to greet me and I lifted him up, "Hey buddy." I kissed between his ears and roughed his fur up before putting him back down. He meowed at me and ran towards the kitchen. I dropped my bag beside the door and put the files on the table and followed him. I filled his food dish and petted him a few more times as he began eating it.

I felt Hotch's arm wrap around my waist and he kissed my cheek. I turned around in his arms, "My god, I missed you."

He placed a few quick kisses on my lips before his hand went from the side of my face down to my stomach. I smiled at him as he lifted my shirt up over the bump. He dropped down to his knees softly and he kissed the bump. He spoke to them quietly and I tried to keep my adoring laugh back.

After a while, he let my shirt back down and stood up. He took my hand and led me to the dining table, checking his watch as he sat down across from me. "I know you're tired and you just had a rough case, but what else is bothering you?"

I shook my head but I knew he wasn't buying it before I even denied it. He raised his eyebrows. I let out my signature sigh and looked away, "I just went to call my dad last night is all. It's nothing; I'll get over it."

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't be here for you."

I shook my head, "It's fine, I'm fine."

"I know how stubborn you are and I understand the pride you like to uphold, but you can't just keep everything bottled up inside of you. You need to talk about it to stay healthy."

I was going to disagree, but he continued before I had a chance.

"Emily, I don't know anyone who has been through as much as you have in your life. You've gotten through it all but you're still damaged from it all because you never let it out. You never spoke about it; you buried it and kept it buried for years. You can't keep doing that anymore or it is going to destroy you."

"You've been through a lot and you never talk about it."

"I do," He nodded, "Do you ever wonder what Rossi and I talk about every Friday night in my office with scotch? We talk to each other because we know that the rest of you have so much more going on."

I dropped my eyes from his slowly after a few seconds of silence between us.

"Please, just let it out. Talk, cry, scream, just do something that tells me that you're not burying it inside of you."

I swallowed hard and bit my lip, "I don't even know where to start…"


	37. Chapter 36

**Prentiss**

I had talked with Hotch for hours last night and I cried more in those few hours than I had all year. He held me close to him and his touch sent shivers down my spine; the good kind. It had been so long since I had been able to be with him and now I was finally in his arms again. He held me tightly and not once did he lose patience with me. He offered all the support he possibly could. Eventually, I was too upset to even say another word and I shut myself down, a defence mechanism I had taught myself at a very young age. _Shut yourself down and you can't possibly tell them anything. It'll keep them blocked out._

Hotch knew that once that happened, there was no coming back from it for the night. He had taken my upstairs and took my clothes off for me. He laid me in bed and changed his own clothes quickly before joining me. He kept me close and tucked the blankets around us. I had fallen asleep in tears and in his arms. It was both awful and wonderful at the same time.

I had woken in the late morning and I was still against him. The warmth of his body against mine was something I had missed a lot, not to mention his scent. It had faded from his room quickly after he hadn't returned within a few weeks. I smiled to myself as I listened to his steady, almost silent breathing as he slept. I realised that I was only in my underwear and I thought back to last night. I never slept in just my underwear here, but then I remembered that Jack wasn't here last night and after that thought, the rest of last night came flooding back. I bit my lip as the regret filled me. Why would I let myself do that? But when I really thought about it, I was glad I had done it. I _really_ needed to get it out of me before it consumed me. Who knew someone could be so good for me? No one had ever gotten me to open up like that in the past, not even the closest of friends or family.

After a few more minutes, I felt his lips press to my hair and I looked up to him. His lips caught mine in a lazy kiss and I smiled to myself when we parted. I snuggled closer to him and buried my face in his chest, "I miss you."

"I'm not going again." He assured in a whisper.

"Never again?"

"I promise you that I'm not." He definitely saw the double meaning in my question.

My eyes stung with tears that I blinked away, "I love you."

He rolled out from underneath me and hovered above me, "I love you too." He placed a few kisses on my lips before trailing a line from the side of my lips to the bottom of my ear and then down my neck.

I let one hand run through his hair and the other clung to his arm. "I have work." I said quietly as he slowly moved one bra strap down my arm from my shoulder.

"No you don't; I got you the day off." He said as he moved the other strap. I smiled and pulled his lips back to mine. He pulled me up slightly to unclip my bra, his lips still moving gloriously with mine. I dropped my head back when he returned to my neck and let out the breath that I had been holding in.

* * *

I woke up again around 3 in the afternoon to my phone ringing. I rolled away from Hotch and he tried to pull me back but I hit his hand away gently. I held my phone to my ear, "Prentiss."

"Were you asleep?" JJ asked.

"Oh, hey Jayje. Yeah, I was," I sat up and pulled the sheet with me, "Hotch decided he—"

"Stop," She cut me off quickly, "You are on speaker with the whole team."

"Oh god, thank you for stopping me." I laughed lightly.

She laughed too, "Well we just thought we'd call and make sure you were okay after yesterday. We're bored, so we decided to make the call now."

"I'm okay." I assured.

"But are you sure?" I heard Garcia asked.

"Pen, I'm—hey." Hotch took the phone from my hand and held it to his own ear.

"JJ, Garcia, whoever else it with you, I love you but I'm going to have to ask you to go away."

After a few more seconds, he spoke again with a smile, "Thank you. Bye." He hung up and put my phone on his nightstand where I couldn't reach it. He pulled me back down onto the bed to his side and held me to him again. I smiled to myself. If I didn't feel important before, I surely did now.

A while past before I spoke, knowing he was still awake, "Don't get me wrong, I love lying with you and I adore the cute kisses and stuff, but I have two other humans inside of me and all three of us are hungry."

He laughed and kissed my hair one more time, "I love you." He let go of me and I sat up. He stood up and got changed into a pair of sweatpants and a plain grey shirt. He walked out without another word to me and I watched him walk down the hall before he turned off to the staircase. I stood up and slid a new pair of underwear on. I took one of his sweaters that was _way_ too big for me and threw it on. It was like a dress, although my stomach made it look smaller on me than it used to look before I had the bump. I walked out and followed where I had watched him walk to.

I walked into the kitchen and stood against the archway, "What are you doing?"

"Making you coffee and food."

I smiled and walked into the room. I sat at the counter island on one of the stools that weren't used very often. I drank the coffee that he soon gave to me and I talked to him as I watched him cook. It was decaf but I wouldn't bring that up.

I moved to the dining table when he finished cooking and he made me laugh as we ate. He talked about what he did over in Iraq and I caught him up with the team and some of the cases we've worked and me in general.

"So is Jack coming home tonight?" I asked, "Or out to dinner?" The team had texted us earlier and told us where to be and when. We were going out to dinner with them, children and partners included.

"Yeah, I'm picking him up in…" He looked at his watch, "A half hour."

I nodded and looked over to where Sergio sat perched at a window, looking out into the yard, probably watching the birds. "I wonder whether he'll be happy to be home or not. He hated it here for the first week but I think it grew on him." I said as I watched his tail swish back and forth.

"Wait, you're going back to your apartment?" He looked on high alert now.

"…Yeah?"

"Why?"

"Because you're back, so I don't need to watch over Jack anymore so aren't I supposed to go home at this point?"

"Well, no," He shook his head, "Just because I'm back doesn't mean you can't be here. Jack loves you and I love you and Sergio loves it here. I mean, the way Dave was describing it the other night when I had called him, he made it sound like you already moved in here."

"Well, I do have more of my belongings here than I currently do in my apartment." I nodded and we both laughed.

"So you could say that you're half way through the moving in process?"

"Only temporarily." I assured.

He sat forwards, "But what if it wasn't temporary?"

"…What?"

"Your brain is very slow today," He smirked at me, "I'm asking you to move in with me."

An amused smile crossed my face but it dropped when I realised that he was being serious, "Oh, you're not joking."

"Well, you're pregnant with two of my children, I have room here, you're here all the time anyway. Why not?"

I sat in silence for a few seconds, "You do realise that upon asking me to live with you, you're committing yourself one hundred per cent to me?"

"I was already committed one hundred per cent to you."

I sat up straighter and looked away from his eyes as a smile crossed my lips again. I thought about it for a few seconds. I had been living here for a while anyway; the only thing different would be that Hotch would be around all the time, and that wasn't bad at all; that was desired.

I nodded, "Okay."

He smiled and sat back, nodding. I made a joke about the fights we would have once I moved in and we both laughed. After a few minutes of casual conversation, we decided to start driving to Jessica's to pick up Jack.

* * *

Hotch had asked Jack about his opinion on me moving in when we got home. He reported back to me and said that the decision was made. Jack was elated about it and he was bouncing around all afternoon and talking to us no stop. When Hotch was in the shower, Jack told me about how he asked out the girl, Emma, who he had a crush on months ago. He said that she accepted and then he proceeded to tell me how "perfect" she was.

We drove to the restaurant and we pulled into the lot as JJ, Will and Henry were getting out of their car, Morgan, Garcia and Reid pulled in behind us and we saw Rossi near the entrance already, talking to a few older men that we assumed were old friends. We walked up and they all greeted Rossi.

"Hey—"

"Guys, this is my daughter Emily." He introduced, cutting me off. He pulled me forwards gently, away from Hotch. I smiled and shook their hands.

"Which wife?" One of the men asked.

"Carolyn." Rossi lied with a smile.

"Oh, how is she? We haven't seen her in years." Another of the three said.

Rossi glanced at me and I looked down. "She uh…she passed on a few years ago." Rossi said quietly.

"Oh, we're so sorry to hear that." They looked from Rossi to me and I panicked slightly inside. I don't know why Rossi was lying to them but it must have been important to him. I couldn't blow it for him.

"She was a wonderful woman." I said with a sad tone in my voice.

"And when are you due?" The one who had spoken first decided to change the subject off of Carolyn.

"August." I smiled.

"And do you know what you're having?"

"Twins. I actually find out their genders tomorrow." I nodded.

"Well, we'll let you and your beautiful daughter get to your dinner with your friends. We shall catch up soon, Dave." The smaller man of the three held his hand out to Rossi to shake. Rossi shook it and they said their goodbyes. They walked away and I looked at Rossi.

"Who was that?"

"Old acquaintances. More like nemeses, actually."

"And you needed a daughter because?"

"Because they're all married with children."

"Well their marriages are probably shit and tying them down. Children are the same; you should be proud to be single and childless."

He raised his eyebrows, "Says the one pregnant with twins…" He smirked.

"Ouch." JJ joked, laughing with Will.

"I've changed my mind; I don't want you to move in." Hotch joked too. I laughed with him and then looked back to Rossi.

"Am I going to have to clear my schedule for when you "catch up" with them?"

"No, I am certainly not catching up with them."

"Okay, I'm hungry and I want to hear about this Emily moving in with Hotch business so let's go inside." Garcia said. I stood beside Hotch again and waited for them all to go inside, walking with him behind them.

"Whoops." He looked at me.

"Have to tell them now." I shrugged my shoulders. I sat down between Hotch and Jack. I winced when I sat and JJ looked at me with a concerned look.

"Are you okay?" She asked from across from me.

I nodded, "Yeah, just sore."

"From the preg—never mind, I know exactly what it's from." She looked down to try and hide her smirk.

I raised my eyebrows, "My pregnancy, JJ. That is why I am sore." I blinked a few times as I stared at her.

She made a fake cough, "Liar." She looked up and showed me the smirk this time.

"Oh, well this is uncomfortable." Garcia said.

" _You're_ uncomfortable?" Hotch asked her quietly.

"Let's just drop the subject because it's making everyone uncomfortable." Reid said quickly.

"I'm not uncomfortable. Are you, Morgan?" JJ smirked at him.

"Not at all." He tried to keep his laugh back.

"What's the time?" Jack asked me. I hoped he didn't get the jokes.

I looked at my watch, "Seven, why?"

"Hey dad, can I please borrow your phone? I need to call someone."

"…Sure." Hotch hesitated as he took his phone from his pocket and handed it to his son.

"Thanks." Jack stood up and walked away from the table quickly, dialling a number.

The whole table looked at me. "Who's he calling?" Hotch asked.

I lifted my hands in defence, "I have no idea."

I made Hotch leave it alone for now and we talked with the team for a while before Jack came back and gave Hotch's phone back to him. He thanked him again and smiled at me when he saw me looking at him.

I leant down to whisper in his ear, "Emma?" I guessed.

His smile grew and he nodded. I held my hand out and he high fived it. The rest of the team watched us questioningly. I shrugged my shoulders. "What?" Jack asked, looking around at them. They looked between us for another few seconds before a waiter came to the table to take our orders.


	38. Chapter 37

**Prentiss**

I looked out the window at the passing landscape as Hotch drove towards the precinct. We had just gotten out of the hospital after the scan. We were silent for a while as I thought about the happiness inside of me. Hotch watched the road and occasionally looked at me.

I looked over to him when he pulled into the lot, "Are you sure that you don't want to know?"

"No." He shook his head.

"No you don't want to know or no you're not sure."

"I'm not sure."

"Well can I tell the team?"

He thought about it for a second before nodding, "Sure."

We walked towards the building and went through the safety checks at the entrance. Then we made our way to the elevators and we stood in comfortable silence for a few seconds before I spoke again. "Can I _please_ just tell you?"

He sighed and looked into my eyes as we walked off the elevator and across the smooth flooring towards the glass doors. He nodded, "Fine, tell me."

I smiled, "So…we're having…a boy _and_ a girl!" I said excitedly as he opened the glass door and I walked through backwards, looking at him. I had a large smile on my face and one spread across his. I laughed at his reaction. I jumped up and down a few times before jumping into his arms. He caught me and spun me around before placing a few chaste kisses on my lips.

"I'm so happy; I couldn't decide what gender I would have preferred but we're getting both so it doesn't matter!" I expressed happily as we walked over towards my desk. I was still walking backwards in front of him.

He smiled at me and I saw the love and adoration in his eyes as they looked back into mine. He usually kept it professional at work unless he was trying to make amends after a fight or if he was sure no one was around to bust us that weren't the team or he was particularly happy about something. I guess this was one of those "particularly happy" times, but normally he'd place one or two kisses and he'd stop there; this was still frowned upon. Today, he placed at least six or seven and he hadn't even so much as glanced around to see if anyone was watching us. That made me all the more elated; he would rather kiss me than keep his job safe.

"I love you." I smiled.

"I love you too, gorgeous." His put his arms around my waist and looked up to greet Morgan, Reid, JJ and Garcia who were all at the desks too. I looked up when I heard a door open and Rossi walked out of his office and down into the bullpen to join us.

"So what's the verdict?" He asked.

I looked up at Hotch and he looked back at me, "What?"

"Can I tell them?"

"I already said yes."

"Yes, but earlier you said that you didn't want to know their genders and then you changed your mind twenty minutes later and let me tell you."

"Emily, I assure you that you can tell them."

I looked back at my team with a big smile, "We're having a boy and a girl."

"Ah!" Garcia exclaimed excitedly. She stepped forwards quickly and Hotch removed his arms from my waist. She hugged me for a few seconds and congratulated us before hugging Hotch.

"It's about time for a baby girl!" JJ said excitedly with a smile and hugged the both of us. Morgan and Reid hugged me and shook Hotch's hand, Rossi both hugged me and kissed my cheeks before he congratulated with Hotch with another handshake.

"Yes, so name suggestions would be greatly appreciated." I nodded as I looked at all of them.

"Oh, we are _all_ over it. Pen, come on." JJ said, pulling Garcia away. The two of them walked towards Garcia's office quickly, talking excitedly about what I assumed was my children.

I smiled at Hotch and he kissed my cheek before making his way to his office. It was almost time for us to leave…well, for everyone else around here to leave; we usually stayed later for paperwork.

"So when are you going on maternity leave again?" Reid asked.

"At 26 weeks, so in five weeks from Monday, but I'll probably still be around here. I'll help Garcia out or something. Maybe I'll just do paperwork."

"Doesn't having twins raise the chances of being put on bed rest?" Morgan asked.

"Desk work." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Hotch won't let you come in." He shook his head.

"Hotch will be away on cases and I will be here at my desk or with Garcia."

"I'm sure that'll go down well…" Rossi said, "Congratulations, mio caro." He commended me again.

"Thank you." I smiled as he kissed my cheek again. He went back to his office and I looked at Morgan and Reid.

They both congratulated me a second time and went back to their desks. I sat down at my own and opened a file, taking the paperwork from inside of it and moving it to the side so I could look through the file and photos to refresh my memory. Even while seeing the terrible things in the file, I couldn't stop the small smile from sticking on my lips.

My phone vibrated after a while and I looked at JJ's text. _"Team dinner again tonight?"_ I heard Morgan and Reid's phones receive the message too. I stood up and walked up to Hotch's office. I knocked and waited for him to allow entry. I opened the door and walked in. He smiled at me and put his pen down.

"Did you get JJ's text?" I asked.

"I did," He nodded, "Do you want to go?"

"I don't mind, that's why I came to ask you."

"Well I think the main reasoning of it is to celebrate our children, so we probably should go." He nodded.

I frowned.

"What?" He sat up straighter and his voice was concerned.

"I hate that I can't drink."

He shook his head and laughed, "Only a few more months."

"Yeah, and then I have to breastfeed."

"You will be able to drink again eventually," He rolled his eyes, "You'd think you're children were more important than your ability to consume alcohol." He raised his eyebrows.

"They are," My voice was offended, "I can love my children and still miss drinking at the same time."

"I know, I'm teasing," He stood up and walked around his desk to me. He kissed me once and then turned, putting his things into his bag, "Go get your things, we can pick Jack up before we go to dinner."

"Okay." I walked back out of his office and pulled the door closed behind me. I went down the steps of the catwalk and down the small hall that led to Garcia's office. I knocked and opened the door, "Hey."

Garcia and JJ both smiled at me, "We have so many names that we will share with you tonight." JJ smiled.

I nodded with a smile, "Well we'll will be there. Text me the time and location; we're leaving in a minute to get Jack."

"Okay, see you later." Garcia smile. I closed the door again as I walked out and I went back to my desk. I put my things in my bag and packed a pile of paperwork in too. Hopefully Hotch hadn't seen me take it; he hated that instead of relaxing over the weekend, I would do paperwork instead. I guess he knew that I never used to do that until we starting dating so he thought I was just doing it because he used to. He actually didn't do as much work over the weekend as he used to; he spent as much time as he could with Jack and he tried to take me away from my own work to spend that time with him.

I closed my bag and saw Hotch exit his office with his bag out the corner of my eye. "Are you two coming tonight?" I asked Reid and Morgan.

"Hell yeah, I love celebrating on a Friday night." Morgan smirked.

"We will see you there." Reid smiled.

"Okay, see you soon then." I smiled. Hotch said a brief goodbye to them and linked his hand with mine. We walked through the glass doors and out them.

"…I saw the paperwork." He said once the elevator doors closed.

I looked at him, "I have a lot to do this weekend."

"You're overworking yourself."

"You used to do more than I do."

"I know, and why do you think I don't anymore? Because I overworked myself."

"I won't even be allowed to work properly in five weeks; let me work now."

"You're not doing any paperwork while you're on maternity leave." He said as the doors opened. We walked out and towards the exit. I rolled my eyes but I wouldn't argue it until it was happening. I still had a few weeks. We walked to his car and he took my bag before opening the passenger door for me. I stepped into the car and he put our bags in the trunk. He walked around to the driver's side and he started to drive out of the lot.

* * *

We picked up Jack and dropped our things home before leaving again and making our way to the bar that JJ had texted me.

We were sitting with the team and we all had our drinks; I had water, of course. We had told Jack about the gender of our children on our way here. He was excited to have a little brother, but not so much a little sister.

"Okay, let us begin by saying that it is extremely difficult to find names for either gender starting with the letters Q, U, V, X and Y and you should forget about wanted a name starting with them if you wanted one because it is not happening." JJ said.

We all laughed, "I'm sure it couldn't have been that hard." I said.

"Oh, wait until you hear the names…" Garcia said, "So we made two lists. One for female names and one for male names and they all have one name for each letter…with a few exceptions." They smirked at each other.

"Oh no…" Hotch said quietly as we looked at each other.

"Okay, for girls," JJ started, "Amelia, Baylee, Colette, Darcie, Evie, Faye, Georgia…or Garcia, Harley, Imogen, Jayde…or Jennifer, Kimberly, Laynee, Mackenzie, Nadine, Olivia, Paisley or Penelope, Quinn, Raine—"

A small laugh escaped me and interrupted her, "Rain?"

"Yeah, but it's spelt with an E on the end." Garcia said.

"Yeah, okay, sure…continue."

"Sadie, Tahlia, Ursula—"

"Oh, come on."

"You try finding a name starting with U!" JJ laughed, "You probably won't like the next one either but I'm going to say it anyway. Verity…" I dropped my head into my hands to keep my laugh back. She continued, ignoring me, "Waverley, Xena—"

"Okay, neither of you is every allowed to have a daughter." Morgan said.

JJ smirked at him, "Yasmine and Zoe."

"Great; we'll definitely consider those…" I looked at Hotch with a smirk. He bit his lip to hide his own smirk and cleared his throat.

He looked back at them, "And the male names?"

"Oh dear god, please be better than Verity." I said quietly.

Garcia laughed, "We told you not to use those letters," She unfolded a piece of paper, "Austin, Bruno—"

"Oh god, we're not German."

"Shh. Caden, Dallas…or Derek…or David, Elliott, Fraser, Gideon, Hugh, Ia—" She stopped and looked at JJ, "Why did you write that down?"

JJ looked over her shoulder, "Oh…that is my writing. Sorry, just skip that one."

"I'm going to take a wild guess and say that it's Ian." I said.

They both looked at me, waiting for a reaction, I assumed.

I rolled my eyes, "Continue."

"Okay…Jeremy, Kieran, Logan, Monroe, Nathan, Oliver, Pierce, Quinton, Ryder, Sebastian…or Spencer, Tristan, Uriah, Vincent, Wesley…or William, Xavier…" Garcia laughed and pointed to a name when JJ looked.

"Yeah, well there are no male names starting with a Y." She defended herself.

"Yusuf…and Zander."

"Yusuf?" Hotch raised his eyebrows.

"There are no names!" JJ said again, laughing.

I shook my head and sat forwards. I took both lists and looked at them. I took the pen out of Rossi's chest pocket at my side and started crossing out the names that I hated. I put little asterisks next to the names I liked, including Imogen, Nadine, Gideon and Zander. I gave the lists to Hotch and he looked at the asterisked names. He pointed to Gideon and raised his eyebrows.

"A middle name." I smiled.

"Okay." He gave the lists back to me with a smile.

"I'm going to keep these." I said to JJ and Garcia and folded them again before putting them in my handbag.

We talked more for a while about names before I changed the subject. We ordered and ate while we laughed. It was a nice night.


	39. Chapter 38

**Prentiss**

I was on maternity leave now and for the first whole week, Hotch didn't have a case and he refused to let me go into the precinct and he refused to bring me work home. I didn't know what to do with myself. All my things were here now; with the help of the team, he moved everything for me because he wouldn't let me lift anything even before I was on maternity leave. When Hotch was at work and Jack was at school, I was left alone in a silent house. I couldn't call friends over because they were all my team and they were all working; I never felt like reading, I didn't feel like listening to music or watching a movie. I resorted to starting the series 'Bones' again for what felt like the hundredth time.

I did sleep a lot, but I got through maybe half a season a day. I had watched three seasons in the first week, taking the weekend off to spend it with Hotch and Jack, and then I figured I'd watch up to six seasons by the end of this week. Well, I figured this until I got a call from Hotch. He had a case; the team was going to Bridgton, Maine, about an hour's flight from Quantico.

I got changed into a shirt and slacks that I brought especially for when I wouldn't fit into my other ones and I brushed my hair out before tying it up. I dropped Jack off at school in the morning and I went into the precinct afterwards. I was greeted by a few of security and a few agents of other teams as I made my way up to the sixth floor and through the glass doors.

My team's area of the bullpen was empty and quiet, Hotch and Rossi's offices empty too. I put my bag down at my desk and walked to Garcia's office. I knocked and opened the door quietly. She was talking to the team; I should have assumed. I kept myself off the camera and held my finger to my lips when she looked at me. She hesitated, but she recovered when Hotch asked her what was wrong.

"Nothing sir, sorry…" She continued telling them what she had found so far on the victims.

"Who was that knocking before?" Reid asked after they finished discussing the case. I was sitting a safe distance away from the camera and shook my head when she looked at me.

"Kevin." She looked back at the camera.

"You're seeing him again?" JJ asked her.

"No, no, we're just friends."

"Something up, baby girl? You're acting a little strange." Morgan said.

"No, nothing's wrong. Call me when you need something. Bye," She hung up and took the small microphone from her ear. She spun her chair to the side to face me, "What are you doing here, pumpkin?"

"I came to help you out." I smiled.

"But you're not allowed to be here. Boss-man gave me strict orders to call him if you showed up while they were on a case. He thought ahead, you know."

"Don't call him," I shook my head, "They won't even know. I'll help you out here, and when they call you or video chat you, I will sit silently out of view and you'll pretend I'm not around."

"But if he or anyone else finds out, I'll be in trouble."

"I will take full responsibility, but they won't know," I shook my head, "I won't be able to be here seven to five though, I'll come in while Jack's at school and leave around quarter to three to pick him up."

"I don't like this."

"I can go to my desk if you don't want me here. Then you can just say that you didn't even know I was here if they find out."

"No, I want your company," She shook her head. She turned back to her computer, "Hang that map up over there?" She asked. I nodded and stood up. I took the map she had pointed to and pinned it to the board across the room. I put yellow pins where the victims disappeared from and I put blue pins where they were found.

Garcia's phone rang and I sat silently, looking at her as she answered, "Ms Garcia, how may I save your asses today?"

It was on speaker that I could hear. "Hey baby girl, we need those wicked brains of yours.

"Speak and be heard, oh noble one of chocolate and desirable—"

"You're on speaker with the whole team…and the local cop." He cut her off.

"Oh, that would have been tragic. Anyway, what can I do for you, my heroes and heroine?"

"Garcia, did all three victims call this number at some point in the last month?" Reid read a number out to her and she typed quickly.

"Ah…no one called it, but Brooke had received two calls from the number. The other two don't have any connection with it on their phones."

I went to speak, but I stopped myself just in time. The tiniest noise escaped me and Garcia looked at me, but I don't think they had heard anything.

She pressed a button and looked at me, "Okay, that was close. It's on mute; they can't hear us but…" I heard Hotch and Rossi talking, "We can hear them," She continued, "So what did you want to say."

"Maybe they have other phones or used a friend's phone or something. If the owner of that number is a suspect, I would suggest looking into it." I said.

"Okay." She nodded and took the phone off mute. She told them what I had told her except she didn't say my name. She was taking credit for that and smirked at me when she said "I just thought of". I tried my hardest not to laugh.

"Okay, we'll ask family and close friends. Thanks Garcia." Hotch said.

"Nice work, Pen." JJ complimented. Garcia didn't normally contribute like that a lot.

Garcia hung up and looked at me, "Thank you, now they think that I thought of that." She smiled.

"Yeah, I'll let you take the credit this time around." I laughed. I stood back up and went back to the map. I had a pen and a notebook in front of it in case I had something I had to write down.

I sat in silence for a long while before I decided I was hungry. Well, more like my children were hungry. "Hey, are you hungry?" I asked Garcia as I stood up.

"Most definitely." She nodded and turned around in her chair, smiling at me.

"I'm going across the street, what do you want?" There was a small café there; they had fish and chips, burgers, sandwiches, coffee. It was very convenient for us.

She clicked her tongue as she thought about it, "Sandwich please." She smiled. I knew her usual sandwich.

"And a drink?"

"Coffee, coffee, coffee."

I smiled, "More and more like me every day," I teased as I walked to the door, "Okay, I'll be back soon.

"Thank you!" She called after me.

I walked out of the bullpen with my bag and my phone rang as I reached the elevators. I answered the call as I walked into the small box and the doors were closing. "Hey."

"How are you doing?" Hotch asked.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm fine, hun." The doors opened and I walked out of the elevator and towards the exit quickly, hoping to escape any noise that would tell him where I was.

"What have you been doing today?"

I bit my lip, "Nothing. I read my book for a while but I couldn't concentrate on it so I took a nap and it lasted a few hours longer than I planned."

"And what are you doing now?"

"I'm getting food."

"Out of the house? I can hear cars and people."

"I'm on maternity leave, not bed rest."

"Okay." He seemed to accept that fine. I don't think he was the least bit suspicious.

"So how's the case going?"

"Not so great. We already had a suspect but they checked out about a half hour ago. JJ and Reid were convinced it was him. Garcia came up a really good idea too and she doesn't normally contribute like that."

"Maybe she just thinks that you guys might appreciate some extra help or suggestions now that you're an agent down."

"That's what JJ said."

I talked with him for a while longer outside of the café until he had to go. We said goodbye and I hung up. I walked into the café and ordered what Garcia and I wanted. It was no more than five minutes by the time our coffees and sandwiches were ready. I took two apples from the small basket they offered free fruit from and I went back to the precinct.

Garcia thanked me when I gave her what she had wanted and an apple. We ate together and talked until we finished eating. I insisted that she needed to get back to work and so she did.

* * *

I sat outside of Jack's school in my car, waiting those few extra minutes for the bell to go. I felt kicking in two different spots and it had been going for a while; it was starting to become very uncomfortable. I groaned to myself as I ached and dropped my head back, "I swear to god, if the two of you don't stop, you're going to be grounded for the first ten years of your lives." I said to my stomach quietly.

The passenger door opened and lifted my head quickly. Jack climbed into the car and threw his backpack into the backseat. "Hi." He smiled.

"Hey; how was your day?" I asked. I waited for him to do his seatbelt up before I pulled back into the lane.

"It was pretty good; we started to make little pots in art today."

"Like real pottery?"

"With a pottery wheel and everything." He nodded.

"That is so cool." I smiled.

"We're making them all week so we get to make as many as we can in that time. I'm going to make dad one and you and Jessica. If I have time, I'm going to make mum one as well."

I looked at him with a small smile, "That sounds great, Jack."

"How was your day?"

I nodded, "It was alright."

"What did you do? Dad said you're always bored when you're alone."

I nodded, "Yeah, I just read my book and fell asleep."

"All day?"

I glanced at him and nodded. If I told him that I had gone into work, he'd tell Hotch if he asked and then I'd be in trouble, "pregnancy makes you really tired." I drove home and when we stepped out of the car, Jack took my bag before I could. He insisted on carrying it inside for me, but I don't think he expected it to be so heavy.

I unlocked the front door and threw my keys to the table by the door. I went straight to the dining room and put some water on to boil; I desperately needed some coffee. I was on decaf now; Hotch hid all the real coffee and didn't let me go shopping to avoid me buying more. It was healthier for the twins this way, so I wouldn't buy any while he was away.

Jack put my bag on the desk in the corner and sat at the dining table with his. He got a few books out and he got a pen out of his pencil case. He started his homework straight away. I kissed his hair as I walked past and I went upstairs to get changed. I finished making my coffee and I sat down at the desk and started paperwork. The kicks in my abdomen made it so much harder to concentrate.

After a while, Hotch called my cell and I gave it to Jack to talk to him. After they talked for a while, he gave the phone back to me and I talked to Hotch as I began making dinner.

"Hey Jack, take a break buddy," I said as he made a frustrated noise and ran his hand through his hair, "Go watch some TV or something."

"Okay." He closed his book and got down from the chair. He went to the living room and I kept talking to Hotch while I cooked.


	40. Chapter 39

**Prentiss**

All weekend I had felt intense back pain and period-like cramps but I didn't want to worry Hotch so I tried my best to ignore it. I had assumed it was just more Braxton hicks contractions, but it never really stopped. Nothing changed on Monday or Tuesday, and Hotch and the team were called to a case on Monday so they had been gone for three days now. I had taken Jack to school and I went back home instead of the precinct with Garcia where I had spent all last week. I hadn't gone there on Monday or Tuesday either.

I went for a few walks, thinking that could help, but they just made it worse. It probably didn't help that I hadn't really sat down all week or weekend except when it came to night when I went to sleep.

The pain was getting so bad with the mixture of back pain and cramps that I was almost crying. I tried taking a few breaths, although I couldn't really breathe properly, I tried eating something light, I tried pain killers, none of which did anything for me so by lunch time, I decided to go to the hospital.

I walked up to the admin desk and waited for the woman to hang up her call. "Hello, how can I help you?"

"Hi, I need to see my obstetrician really soon. Doctor Shire."

"Are you having emergency problems with your pregnancy right now?" She asked as she typed quickly.

"I don't know if this is an emergency or not."

"What's happening?" She glanced at me before looking back to the computer in front of her.

"Since Saturday morning, I have been feeling short of breath with constant intense back pain and period-like cramps."

"Name? Are you carrying one child or multiple? How many weeks?"

"Emily Prentiss, twins, 27 weeks."

She nodded, "She'll be right out to get you."

I nodded, "Thank you." I walked over to the closest seat of the adjoining waiting room that was almost empty. I sat with my head back to try and breathe through the pain properly. I winced as it just made it feel worse and I heard my name.

I looked at my doctor and stood up. She walked with me quickly towards her room that was all too familiar. She asked questions and wouldn't tell me what exactly was going on, but that I needed to follow her. She took me into a private room and made me lie in the bed. This couldn't be good. She hooked to me an IV and gave me pain killers. She elevated my feet slightly and looked at me.

"This could have been a whole lot worse if you didn't come in, but you will be okay. You're dehydrated and you've caused a lot of stress over your body and your children. You should have come in sooner, but you did the right thing in coming in now. You will be okay; I'll keep you here for a few hours and if I need to, maybe overnight. You'll be on bed rest when you go home." She smiled at me.

Once she made sure I was comfortable and okay, she left and I got my phone out of my pocket and dialled Jessica's number. "Hey Jess, it's Emily. Are you busy this afternoon?"

"Not at all, do you need me to take Jack?"

"Yeah, that would be really great, thanks."

"Am I picking him up from school?"

"Yes please."

"And overnight or not?"

"Uh…I'm not sure yet. Um…I can call you back later and let you know."

"Sure. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine; something important just came up is all and I'm not home now."

"Okay, well call me if you need anything else."

"Thanks Jess, bye." I hung up. I dialled Garcia's number and looked at it. Did I call her or not? This could be nothing; I could be out within a few hours. Did I call Hotch or would that distract him from the case too much? I put my phone down and decided that I'd wait to see how long I would need to be here.

My back was killing me and the cramps were worse. I closed my eyes to try and get some rest like the doctor had told me to do, but I wasn't sleeping very well lately as it was.

The doctor told me around four that I'd be here overnight so I called Jessica and told her that I wouldn't be home. I didn't, however, tell her why. She didn't need to worry and I didn't want her to call Hotch. I tried to sleep for a while after that, but my phone rang and woke me just a half hour after I had finally fallen asleep. I picked it up and looked at the number and photo flashing. "Hey Pen." I answered quietly.

"Decided not to come in today? Or yesterday…or Monday? I was kind of worried that you didn't call and you didn't answer mine last night or Monday night."

"Yeah, well I'm not really supposed to be there and I think Hotch was a bit suspicious so I thought if I have a few days off, maybe it'll lower his doubt. I don't remember getting your calls."

"You should have called me; I've been freaking out but I had no time to call you from work and I couldn't ask Hotch because then he'd know that you've been coming in."

I smiled, "Thanks, but I'm okay."

"Are you sure? Because something feels off."

I sighed, "Okay look, I'm completely fine, but if I tell you what's going on, you need to promise me that you won't tell anyone until after the case."

"Okay."

"I'm at the hospital and I will be overnight. I was dehydrated and caused a huge amount of stress on both my body and my children."

"Oh my god." She sounded so concerned.

"But I'm okay. The doctors have been great with me."

"Which hospital?"

"You're not coming in."

"Emily, which hospital?"

I sighed and told her. I hung up after that and a half hour later she walked into my room with her laptop, a notepad and a pen. I groaned and dropped my head back. She told me to be quiet as her phone rang and I listened to her talk to the team about the case.

"Oh wait, don't hang up yet. Is Hotch there?"

"…Garcia." I said quietly.

She waved me off and waited as someone talked.

"Hey Hotch, take me off speaker?"

"Garcia, don't." I put as much warning into my voice as I could.

"I'm sorry pumpkin but I have to tell him," She looked at me with a guilty face, "So don't freak out, she's okay, but Emily is in the hospital," A few seconds past as she listened, "Yeah, I'm with her right now. I'll give you to her." She held her phone out to me.

I shook my head as I took it, "You promised me." I said to her.

"I'm sorry." She said as she got her laptop out and turned it on.

I sighed and held the phone to my ear, "Hey Aaron. I told her not to tell you."

"Emily, please tell me that you're okay."

"I'm fine," I assured, "If I wasn't fine, I would have called you."

"You should have called me anyway. What is going on, do I need to come back and why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't call you because I didn't want to distract you from the case with something so minor and you don't need to come back. I was dehydrated and I caused significant stress on my body and the two alien things inside of me. It's fine, I'm fine, they're fine. Jack is with Jessica tonight because I have to stay here, but it's all completely fine."

"Can I speak to a doctor?" He asked.

"No, you most certainly cannot."

"Fine, I'll just call the hospital."

"You don't know which one I'm in." I smirked.

"I'll call all of them."

"That'll take a while."

"I'll ask Garcia."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me." I could hear the smirk in his voice. I heard Morgan ask who he was talking to and his voice was clear so I figured I was on speaker. He told him that it was me and I was greeted by the other four members of our team. I put Garcia's phone on speaker and we talked to them for a short while before a doctor came in and asked how I was doing. I said I was in pain as I couldn't lie to the doctor and now the team knew I was in hospital and Hotch knew that I was in pain.

JJ asked a million questions, Morgan, Reid and Rossi were all worried but I eventually convinced them that I was fine. They had to go back to the case so I hung up and looked at Garcia. "You promised."

"He needed to know," She said quietly, "But I'm really sorry."

I sighed, "Well I'm going to sleep now."

"Sweet dreams." She smiled. I smiled to her before moving down slightly in the bed and closing my eyes.

* * *

I had woken a number of times throughout the night and I ended up sleeping until the late morning. When I did wake, I had a doctor checking all of my vitals and making sure all was okay with the twins. They took a blood test and left with it and I was left alone in the hospital room. I went to grab my phone but I saw a note next to it.

 _I'm just getting coffee, I'll be back soon. ~ Garcia_

I put the piece of paper back down and took my phone. I had no texts or missed calls. I put it back down and dropped my head back to the pillow. I had been awake all of twenty minutes and I was already extremely bored. I stared at the roof and found my mind running to names again like it had been when I had a moment to spare since I found out the genders. When I thought about it, I was lucky. I wasn't sure whether I would have preferred female or male children and chances are, if I had two of one or two of the other, I probably would have hoped for the other gender. I would have one of each, and that was what I secretly was hoping for the whole time. I let my eyes fall shut again.

A few more minutes passed before I heard a light knock on the door to my room. I opened my eyes and looked to the door where Garcia walked in with Hotch behind her. They both had a cup of coffee and Hotch had an extra. He walked in with a small smile and put it on the table beside the bed. I wasn't told whether I was allowed to drink it or not but I assumed he would have checked. Garcia closed her laptop and slid it into her bag along with the paper surrounding it. She kissed my cheek and then walked out of the room to give us some privacy.

I looked at Hotch and smiled.

"You should have called me." He said quietly before placing a kiss on my lips.

"Catching that guy was more important than either worrying or being here with me over something so small."

"It was a female, actually."

I raised my eyebrows, "Really?"

He nodded as he sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"So did they tell you when I'm allowed out?"

He bit his lip and looked at me.

"…What?"

"They're thinking of keeping you another night."

I groaned and dropped my head back, "Why?"

"Because they told Garcia and I that you'd need to be on partial bed rest, you know, no heavy lifting, laying down most of the day, not cleaning a lot, no long walks, no physical activity, no sex, and Garcia snickered and said "yeah, good luck getting her to comply to that" and now they want to keep you another night."

"What if I promise to not get up?" I looked at him.

"See, normally I would just make you stay here because it's your safest option, but I know how much you hate hospitals and even staying here will cause extra stress on you, so I'll talk to a doctor and ask if you can come home as long as I'm there and you don't get up."

I smiled, "I love you."

"Mmhmm…" He hummed as he rolled his eyes and stood back up. He placed another long kiss on my lips before walking back out to find my doctor. I sat up and grabbed the decaf coffee he had brought me.


	41. Chapter 40

**Prentiss**

Two days I had to spend completely in bed and I had to for another five until I was allowed to move to only partial bed rest. I was dying already; going insane. Hotch was working in the office on both Friday and Saturday , Jack was at school Friday and he went to a friend's house on Saturday for the night, and I lay with Sergio in bed surrounded by books I didn't want to read and TV's shows I didn't want to watch. I slept a lot and there was no denying that I enjoyed that. What I really wanted was to go back to work, even just to do paperwork at my desk, but now that definitely wasn't going to happen.

Hotch had found out that I had been at work last week and he was currently very angry with me. He tried to hide it, but it was just too obvious. When we woke up, he only placed one kiss on my lips if any. When we went to bed, he placed only one kiss on my lips. During the last two days, he'd call to make sure I was doing okay and then hang up before I had a chance to talk about something other than my pregnancy.

I had been in bed all day, getting up only to go to the bathroom and to get something to eat. I didn't even know where Hotch was. Maybe he was at the precinct; maybe he was doing something else. He left before I woke and he called briefly, but not long enough for me to find out where he was.

I finally gave up on trying to keep myself down so I pulled the blankets off me and got up. I stretched my back out and groaned as it ached. I walked out of the bedroom and down the staircase to the ground flood. Sergio ran behind me and I decided to feed him now; it wasn't long until 6. After feeding him, I put water on to boil and took my phone from my pocket.

" _What do you want for dinner?"_ I texted Hotch. I put my phone down, expecting to either wait a long time for a reply or not get one at all. I made my coffee and turned the TV on low volume.

After a while past with no reply from Hotch, I decided to call JJ. "Hey Em." She picked up my call on the third ring.

"Jayje, I messed up."

"…What? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I assured, "But you know how I was working last week and that is half the reason I ended up in the hospital? Well Hotch is furious with me and he won't talk or listen to me. I don't know what to do."

"Oh hun, you need to make him listen. If he doesn't, then let me know and I'll yell at him. He must have known that you weren't going to stay at home the whole time even when you were supposed to. He cannot be furious with you for helping."

"But he is."

"It just doesn't sound like him, to overreact like this. Has something else happened that could be contributing?"

"I don't know," I said quietly, "I honestly don't even remember what I did an hour ago, let alone yesterday or the day before. He didn't even tell me that he loved me last night when we went to bed like he normally does."

"Okay, you need to talk to him and you need to do it now."

"I don't know where he is. He left this morning before I woke up and he hasn't been back since."

"Call him?"

"I tried earlier, he didn't pick up. I texted him a few times but I haven't gotten a reply."

"He's being childish. I'm going to call him and tell him that."

"All talk." I laughed quietly.

She laughed too, "Okay, so he terrifies me a bit and I won't tell him that, but I will silently curse at him."

I smiled to myself and then I heard the front door open, "He's home."

"Let him have it, girl."

"Thanks JJ, bye." I hung up and turned around when I heard him walk into the room.

"Who was that?" He asked quietly.

"JJ. Aaron, I'm sorry, okay? But you know me, you know how much I work and you know that I can't just sit around all day everyday doing nothing. You couldn't have been _that_ surprised. I know that I shouldn't have lied to you and I shouldn't have gone against your wishes but I did, I cant change it now and I'm sorry."

He sighed and looked away briefly before his eyes returned to mine, "I'm reacting very childishly."

I nodded, "You are."

He nodded and approached me slowly, "I'm sorry." His hands sat on my hips and he placed a quick kiss on my lips.

"You always tell me to talk to you about whatever it is before deciding how to act about it. You didn't talk to me."

"I did." He raised his eyebrows.

"No, you yelled at me." I tilted my head to the side.

"Well I'm sorry," He apologised again. I kissed him and smiled. "So…why aren't you lying down?"

"Because I have been all day and I'm hungry."

"Pizza and a movie?"

I smiled and nodded. He went to order a pizza and I sat down at the dining table with my coffee. I drank it and looked through the top file on the stack that he had brought home with him yesterday. I heard the shower start upstairs after a short while and then I heard the front door open. I closed the file, put it back on the pile, and stood up. I walked to the door with my hand over my abdomen as I felt a kick.

"Hey buddy." I greeted Jack.

He smiled, "Hi." He patted my stomach lightly and then walked further inside. I looked up at his friend's mother and smiled.

"Hi, you must be Emily. Jack talks a lot about you." She held her hand out.

I nodded and shook her head, "Not too bad of things, I hope."

"Oh no, he absolutely adores you. You look great, by the way." She looked at my stomach.

"Thank you."

"Well, I just had to make sure someone was home. I've got to run back home and cook for the younglings."

"Thanks for letting him spend the night and dropping him off."

"Any time." She smiled and nodded before turning and walked back down the path. I closed the door and turned, looking at Hotch as he reached the bottom of the staircase.

"…Friendly…" I raised my eyebrows.

"Nosy," He nodded, "She doesn't normally come to the door, but she probably wanted to see who you were."

I put my hand where I felt another kick. I stepped forwards and took his hand, placing it over the movement. He smiled to himself when he felt it and kissed me. He let me pick the movie and I guessed Jack would probably watch it with us so I had to pick one appropriate for his age. I look through movies for a good ten minutes before I decided on one. By the time I had chosen, the pizza had arrived. Hotch went to pay for it and I put the movie into the DVD player.

"Oh no…" I said quietly to myself. My back pinched when I tried to get back up and I was too scared to try again.

Hotch walked back in and put the pizza down, "What are you doing?"

"…I'm stuck."

He laughed at me and walked over. He helped me up and I put one hand over my lower back where it had pinched. I sat down on the couch and he sat beside me and called Jack before grabbing two pieces of pizza and giving one to me.

* * *

I woke up with a smile as Hotch pressed his lips to my forehead. I blinked my eyes open and looked at him. "I'm going to work now." He said quietly.

"Have a good day." I whispered. He kissed my lips gently and then he kissed my stomach before standing up. I looked at the alarm clock as he walked out of the room quietly and closed the door behind him. I heard him talking to Jack. I had an hour before I needed to take him to school. I was going to close my eyes again and go back to sleep, but once I woke up, I couldn't fall back asleep.

I sighed and threw the blankets off me. I got up and went to the ensuite bathroom, showered got changed and then walked downstairs. Jack was eating his oatmeal and orange juice in the living room while he watched TV. I put water on to boil and took an apple from the fridge. I felt tired already and I knew that this would be a long day.

I drank my coffee that I made, ate the apple and I read my book for a while before Jack came into the dining room with his backpack on his shoulders.

"Ready?" I asked. He nodded and I put my book down. I used the table to assist me to stand without hurting my still aching back and I grabbed my bag and keys on our way out. I drove him to school and then I thought about what I would do. I hadn't received a text informing me of a case, so I drove to the precinct. I missed JJ and Garcia and once I thought about it, I wasn't going to change my mind.

I pulled into the lot and made my way into the building. The elevator made me feel light headed, but it did that a lot before I was pregnant too. I walked onto the sixth floor and into the bullpen.

"Hey princess." Morgan smiled and stood up. He hugged me and laughed when he looked at my stomach, "You're like an—"

"If you want to live past today, do not finish that sentence, Derek." Garcia cut him off from the hall to her lair. I smiled at her and hugged her when she reached me. "Hey pumpkin."

Reid and JJ both hugged me too and I saw Hotch looking at us through his window, probably questioning why I was here and not lying down in bed.

"Aren't you on strict bed rest?" JJ asked.

I bit my lip, "I'm supposed to be…"

"So how angry is Hotch going to be?" Garcia asked me.

"Well, he wouldn't even talk to me after he found out that I came in to work with you when the others were on a case, and then I told him that he couldn't have really believed that I would just stay in bed until they were out of me, so I think that he will be angry, but he will refrain from fighting with me about it."

"Well, he wouldn't want to stress you or the babies." She smirked.

"Exactly." I nodded.

"How long do you think you have to go?" Reid asked.

I sighed, "Too long."

"The time just flew by when I was pregnant." JJ said.

"Yeah, well you were carrying one. I have two and they both hate me already."

They all laughed at that and then I looked up when I heard my name. Rossi walked over with a big smile. He kissed both my cheeks and hugged me. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm lonely at home and I missed you guys."

"You're so cute." Garcia smirked. I heard Hotch's office door open and he walked down to us.

He greeted me and kissed my cheek, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just visiting." I smiled at him.

"Well you shouldn't be…" He said quietly, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Are we _really_ going to argue about this again? Because you know I'll win."

"The female always wins." Rossi nodded. I smiled at him and then looked back to Hotch and nodded.

He rolled his eyes, "I have to go drop these off to Cruz." He held the files up briefly before kissing my cheek again and walking away.

I turned back to my team and smiled at them.

"…Cards?" Morgan asked.

"Yes." I nodded. We all sat down in the bullpen near his desk and JJ dealt. After all, you couldn't deal from your own deck of cards.


	42. Chapter 41

**Prentiss**

Hotch was across the country on a case, the rest of the team were with him, well…except for Garcia and I. Jessica and Jack had gone to see family a few states over for a few days and I was in Virginia almost alone; Garcia was working or busy with her own life at the moment. We hadn't really been talking all that much lately. At 36 weeks and 4 days, I finally decided to swallow my pride and call the hospital. It was late, around 11:30 pm, and I was having contractions for a long while. I refused to let myself believe that it was labour, not while Hotch was away, but it wasn't like it would go away if I kept ignoring it. The contractions got closer together and almost impossible to bear without crying.

Once the hospital night shift worker picked up the phone, I explained what was happening and asked if I should come in or not. She said to come straight away and to get someone else to drive me. I didn't tell her that there was no one that could drive me; I didn't want an ambulance sent or something.

I got to my car slowly, having to stop a few times to try and breathe through the contractions that I thought I would die from. This wasn't supposed to happen yet; this was earlier than my due date, Hotch wasn't here, and now I was terrified.

I managed to drive to the hospital but there was a lot of pain and I had to pull over once. I got inside and filled out that paperwork they always made you do before a nurse came and brought me into a private room.

"Is there anyone you would like us to call? A partner, a friend?" A midwife asked me. I thought about it; did I want to call Garcia or not? I originally thought that I would just do this on my own; Hotch had a case and even if he left now, he wouldn't get here on time, but now that I thought about it again, I didn't want to do this alone.

"Penelope Garcia." I nodded.

"Okay, I'll call her for you now." She disappeared out the door, followed by a nurse and a doctor.

Some time later, the nurse and midwife returned with Garcia behind them, "Oh my god, pumpkin, you should have called me as soon as the contractions started." She said as she walked to my side. She kissed my cheek and smiled before it dropped when she saw me wince in pain. Another contraction.

"We're getting closer, Agent Prentiss." The doctor assured me.

Garcia got her phone out and walked out of the room quickly; I assumed she would be calling Hotch. She came back after just a few minutes, "He's on his way back now; he's taking the jet."

"You didn't need to call him, Pen. He's got a case."

"You're more important to him right now. The rest of the team is still working. These are his children too; he deserves to be here."

"Garcia?" I asked quietly. The doctor, nurse and midwife weren't listening to us at the moment.

"Yes?" She was holding my hand and she looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

"…I'm scared."

She smiled, "Trust me pumpkin, it's all going to be okay. I promise you; nothing will go wrong with either of your children or you."

A long while passed again before it was time to start.

* * *

About five hours into the delivery, Hotch arrived. He had to get changed into one of those hospital gown things and do all the necessary procedures before he came in and stood at my other side. The crew here that were delivering my children told Garcia that it was fine for her to stay too, so Hotch held my hand for me to squeeze and Garcia tied my hair back into a bun and kept wiping a cool damp cloth over my neck and face. The pain was like something I had never experienced before, but it was somehow pain _less_ , as well. I went from nothing, to something, back to nothing and now finally to something again. Soon enough, I would have two children to add to the family I had found within Hotch and Jack, and if you have three children and a man you love more than anything in the world going for you, how much more could you possibly want? Well, you'd want to have the children without actually giving birth to them.

"I give up; I can't." I said out of breath when the doctor asked me to push again. I had no energy left and I still had two children inside of me. It had been 8 hours of pain and heat.

"You're so close, Agent Prentiss, just a few more."

I managed to get through the first child. Our son was born first and I was finally able to breath and relax for a while. When they were sure that there'd be a while before our daughter came, I was allowed to hold him. Garcia went to leave, but I asked her to stay.

"Perfect." I said quietly as I stroked my finger up and down his arm lightly. His hair would eventually be the same shade and type as Hotch. I held him for a long while before I let Hotch hold him.

After about an hour and a half, the intense pain started again. The doctor, nurse and midwife all went back into action. A second midwife came in to take our son from Hotch and check over him again to confirm that everything was okay.

After another few hours of this, the pain lessened and I heard the cries similar to what I had heard six hours ago.

"Gorgeous." I commented quietly as I looked into my daughters dark eyes. Her hair would be the colour of Hotch's but it would be the same type as mine. I held her until I was too exhausted to keep my eyes open. I gave her to Hotch and I dropped my head to face my left where Garcia was. "Thanks for staying." I said to her quietly.

She smiled and kissed my cheek, "Always. I'll leave the two of you to meet her or to sleep or whatever you'll do." She walked out and my eyes fell shut. I concentrated on the feeling of Hotch's thumb moving up and down the side of my palm and I was too exhausted to stay awake any longer.

* * *

I woke up after about seven hours and Hotch was still at my side, although he wasn't holding my hand anymore. He had a few files and a pen with him. I watched his eyes move over the papers as he wrote for a short while before he noticed I was awake, "Hey."

I smiled, "Hey. How are they?"

"They're great. They're both healthy; the only thing that went wrong was with you. You were really dehydrated and you got really dizzy. You're on an IV drip now and you will be for at least another two days just so you're safe."

I nodded, "Good."

"Our son was 6 pounds and 4 ounces and our daughter was 5.6 pounds and 2 ounces. Do you want to see them?"

I smiled and nodded. He smiled and kissed my forehead as he stood. He walked out of the hospital room and I looked around. I moved my head to both sides and my neck cracked both ways. My back and shoulders were really sore too.

I waited for a short while before Hotch walked back in with a nurse behind him. He was holding our daughter in a fluffy pink blanket and the nurse carried out son in a matching blue one. The nurse handed him to me and I took him willingly. She checked my vitals to make sure I was okay. I looked over our son and my finger moved up and down his arm gently. He was asleep right now and he was so beautiful.

I looked up and smiled at Hotch, "Names?"

"I was waiting for you to wake up before I even thought about it."

"Well, they're taking your surname, obviously, and we need names that don't sound too unusual with Jack." I spoke quietly as to not wake them.

We thought and talked for a while before Hotch took our son and laid our daughter in my arms. She was waking up from the movement and I smiled as her eyes opened. They were the darkest, most beautiful brown I had ever seen. She cried liked all newborns did when they woke and I hushed her, rocking her lightly. I kissed her forehead as her cries started to ease.

"Maxwell Gideon." I said quietly after a while. I looked at Hotch and he smiled. "What are you thinking for his name?"

"I couldn't find anything I liked, but I like Maxwell Gideon. It's decided." He nodded.

I smiled and looked at my son in my boyfriend's arms. He just looked like a Maxwell to me. Another long while past before Hotch spoke, "We really should have thought about this harder beforehand."

I laughed lightly, "I just can't think of a name good enough.

After a few minutes, he suggested a name, "Imogen Elizabeth?" This was the first name I heard that I loved.

I smiled at him and nodded, "And that's decided too."

A nurse came in then and told me that it was time to feed them.

* * *

The team was called to a case two days after the birth of my twins. By the time they got back, Max, Imogen and I were all allowed to leave the hospital. I carried our daughter, Hotch carried our son, and Jack was with us again; he had gotten back yesterday. We had clipped them into the baby seats in the back of my car and Hotch drove us to the precinct. JJ had texted me about fifteen minutes ago, letting me know that they were back and at the office like I had asked her to do.

We went through the precinct with our three children and made out way to the sixth floor. Jack was excited to see the team; it had been a while since he saw them last. Hotch and I were exhausted but we wanted the team to meet our newborns.

Hotch held the glass door open for Jack and I followed him through.

"JJ!" Jack yelled excitedly as he ran through the bullpen to her. JJ opened her arms with a smile and he ran into them. She talked to him and I looked around the bullpen. I couldn't see Garcia or Morgan so I assumed they were in Garcia's office. Reid was standing in Rossi's office, the door open. He saw us and a smile spread on his face. He said something to Rossi and within a few seconds, they were both walking out and down the catwalk.

JJ, still talking to Jack, pointed towards the hall that led to Garcia's office. Jack nodded and ran down the hall. JJ looked to us and made a small excited squeak when we reached her, her hands on both cheeks. "Oh my god, they're gorgeous. They're Hotchner's, right? Because they look like Hotchner's."

I nodded with a smile, "They're Hotchner's."

"Oh my god!" I heard Garcia squeal. She and Morgan walked out from the hall with Jack and Rossi and Reid stood behind JJ.

"Congratulations, guys." Morgan smiled.

"Thanks." I smiled. Hotch smiled and nodded as a thanks and we talked to them for a while. We let them hold them and Hotch stood close to me and talked to Jack.

A short while past before JJ asked about names. Hotch and I looked at each other and argued lightly about who would tell them.

"I have been in hospital for—"

"Don't play the hospital card again! You've played it three times already since we left!"

I smirked at him and laughed, "Fine," I let him win this time. I looked at the team and smiled, "Imogen Elizabeth and Maxwell Gideon."

"Oh, they're beautiful." Garcia smiled at us.

Hotch stood with an arm around me for a while as we continued to talk to them and watch them adore our children. I was so tired that I started to feel a little brief moment of dizziness every now and then. Hotch saw how exhausted I was by the third yawn so he said that we should get going. The team was walking out with us so I left Imogen in JJ's arms and Max in Garcia's; Rossi was sure to give him to her as soon as he was laid in his arms.

Once we were home, Hotch and I took the twins inside and put them in their new bassinets. Jack went to sleep in his room and I was finally able to lie down. I dropped to the bed, my face in the pillow. I felt Hotch sit down beside me and he rubbed my back.

I rolled over to my back and smiled at him, "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed me twice and then laid down. I turned the lamp out and lay down myself. After a few seconds of silence, I felt his arm wrap around my waist and pull me closer to him. I smiled and lay my hand over his. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to overcome me.

* * *

 **Not a strong ending, I know, but I didn't know where else to go with it. Thank you to my regular readers and supporters, especially Scousedancer and zhangxinna.**

 **I have another coming soon; stay tuned.**

 **-A xx**


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